This time I actually want to find cracks.

I want to hear them again.

These halls are lined in their visage.

Some nod, others smile, many cry.

But I can’t hear them...

It’s more morbid down in the catacombs.

Or atleast that’s what I call this place.

They don’t seem to be dead,

Merely faded and losing their form.

The place unnerves me.

They’re more malicious than ever now

There’s a feeling present of which carries dread, disgust and ominous leering over my shoulder, pressed along my back.

Something will happen today.

Grey complexion of which I’ve missed and a slow beating heart of which will always be mine.

Let me see you love, for which I’ve never feared you.

The breath in my lungs is owed to you nearly as much as the blood in these veins.

You...you...it’s always...you...speak with me soon...

I can’t stop thinking of you. 

A breath in, another shaken exhale. 

Platinum or gold,

Light gives those strands their definition.

Claws to fangs, 

Glow or dim.

I recall one voice, and that’s yours. 

But darling, what color do you see, when you look at me?

Does it shift or stay consistent? 

Is this drowning doll the partner you’re looking for?

These claws aren’t yours, but they are indeed his. 

Instead of comfort, they bring me pain.

The red he shows brings no solace, 

And the gold of the other terrifies. 

I suffocate under them both, 

But you insist I do not give in.

Is that fair? 

Is this worth it?

Time may be your domain but it has always been lost on me.

So if I’m to continue, 

Lend me your luck. 

And more time.

If I’m to ask only one thing.

Yes, this is how the brain functions on the subject. Illness or disorder aside. We truly only openly accept the love we believe we deserve. Even if we want more than that. Our hearts, if scarred enough will still want as much as that person is willing to provide and vise versa.

But the mind can serve as a barrier for that love. And can become, an unintentional obstacle for the relationships we carry with us.

Because self love. And training of self love is an impeccable part of learning to accept the love that others wish to give you.

Love is supportive. Love is kind. But love can also be hard. Because love does involve work and so much effort for being as pure as it is. And alot of what humanity does not understand is exactly what is needed for love to flourish.

Leaving someone when love is hard if both of you are putting in the effort is unfair if you don’t intend to bridge that chasm with them.

There is a reason love is seen as a type of partnership in all its forms. Platonic or otherwise.

There are different types in partners. They teach you this at school with teamwork through projects.

It’s interesting how that situation is applied not only for the working force but for love and relationships as well.

Communication, respect, boundaries, and so much more are important building blocks for this one pure and blissful emotion that humanity sees as love.

You take away any of those pieces and yes, it will fall apart. Every time. Unless the partners, or family, or friends, work together to avoid it breaking.

If something is on fire. You try to put it out. And if you can’t by yourself then you ask for help.

If a bridge is broken, or a wall is cracked, you rebuild, and if it’s too much for one then you ask for help.

Love is not without effort, and love will always transform and grow into something even more blissful but only if you and that other person you share any type of love with, work towards those means.