so take me out, take me anywhere;

kody: unicef should print off this conversation and show it to those starving ethiopian kids

kody: because no ones gonna be hungry while reading this nasty shit

harry: ............... leave ember

harry: kick em out kody we dont need them

ember: i started this group chat, harry, don't even think about it

ember: did you stick a wick in his asshole and try to light that like a candle?

rory: yeah, figured i could pop him off like an m80 it didnt work too well

kody: you know actually i do know how much waxing hurts but that is a story for another day

kody: candle wax in the asshole what a way to go

harry: i'm right here you know wtf fight me

harry: yes very tragic i know yet i still see no condolences for my ass thanks guys

ember: okay let's fight sweetie(:

ember: was it scented at least? strawberry sunshine? unicorn shit? oranges and harry's sexuality?

kody: this is news to everyone how will mum ever cope with this

kody: also im a firm believer in asshole waxing

harry: one why do you guys insist on group chats

harry: second do you know how much waxing hurts

ember: harry's not just gay, he is the embodiment of gay

ember: do you know how much waxing hurts, harry? rory does harry have asshole hair anymore?

rory: nah we were trying some kinky candle shit the other day and long story short: hair burns.

ember: so how are the assholes doing

ember: are you remembering to get yourselves bleached every once in a while

rory: guys... shit wow this is tough. i don't know how to say this, i've literally been fucked up over this for days.. but... i think harry might be gay. :/

harry: she loves me with most of her heart, she doesn't have room for you. :(

harry: heading out to ny. i'll send you snaps. hopefully my plane doesn't freeze.

rory: is that why she had to pop out for more of you? because she loved you sooo much? face it, harry, anne's mine. and gemma, too, for the record. she even told me so.

Jay: there's no silent r in his name, so, you lose man. let it gooo.

Jay: nooo mate he says like being in australia forever is a terrible thing, pfft. live a little. sick though. im sure you'll have a blast and all. off season to what, though? you join a footy team?

Rory: check my birth certificate, elsa you frigid bitch.

Jay: jesus chist. chist. fucking /chist/.

Jay: Oh, right. I'm 12. Look at you being considerate and all. Uh. The... he.. is that where you live now? Little Aussie? Gotta be honest... that's.. not a surprise but it's also.. surprising. Somehow.

Rory: did anyone get you hooked on phonics for xmas? i might be sending a few your way. i said /starts/ with.

harry: pls, sleep is good all day round. a videotographer. i'll see it on the news or something hopefully. that would have been quite the sight to see, shoulda made more of an effort :/ well. no. not really. i'm at the airport. but i'll text her for you. i don't think she missed you tbh :/

rory: i'm sorry that anne loves me more, harry, but you've got to live with it.

Jay: Nope. Forgot it along with the rest of your negativity. :)

Jay: Feeling it. Vague. Nicee. But yeah, one day I'll be where you are now but you'll continue to be a good day ahead of me, so, you know. I'll learn to live with it. Always borderline kind of you. How sweet.

Rory: it starts with an r and ends with jesus. the r is silent.

Jay: You're definitely one to talk. Definitely.

Jay: Funny thatttt. Hung o..I almost wrote hunger. But hung over or sommat? I think it's going quite well, y'know, as far as for not being in the future. Thanks for asking.

Rory: do you even know my name??