starts to grow

“Are you really going to bless me with a sandwich? Wait. I feel like all you do is make food for me. I’m going to be rounded before you know it.”

“You and I both know damn well that, despite your hostile feelings toward Netflix, you watched the Trolls movie and you were thinking of that version when singing it to me. Phil Collins sings it, yeah? Sing You’ll Be In My Heart so I know it’s real, Jay.”

“Would you look at that. My boyfriend has so many skills. I get to learn about a new one each day.”

“I’ve always wanted to be serenaded, but I never thought it’d be you singing from the Trolls movie.”

“Did you quote that from a random book? That really sounds like one of the random olden day novels we had to read for English class. Or it sounds like it’s a poem and it just ends there.”

“You’re clearly accusing me of things that are false.”

“Stop accusing me of things I haven’t done, Jayden. I was honest about every single thing you said and I was honest about having sex with Roman on the couch. You just can’t handle that I told the truth when you actually asked!”

“I hope you’re about to explain to me how because I don’t know how.”

“You could’ve been like: ‘hey, babe. Wanna watch some Hulu?’ but you never did. Now I just think you’re using me to start a trend and don’t really want to Hulu and chill.”

“I don’t even know what a 0 mile BRZ was and I didn’t want to look at the videos Google supplied me with. Why can’t you be less of a car fan and get a mini van. See that rhyme? I was going to get her a turtle and then she told me not to get it and was persistent! I think she just didn’t want me to spend the money. Okay, but when you guys asked if we had sex on the couch, we actually didn’t until a week later.”

“Liv and I already watched The Mindy Project. Apparently the final season finished so we’re probably going to watch that in one day. But you also never invited me to Hulu and chill so you have no excuses.”