La de los gatos

who are your parasocial enemies, like mine are andrew lloyd webber and butch hartman

do you think two pennies is still enough for the ferryman or has inflation driven up the fare

if he makes me use an app I am simply not crossing the river Styx.

scientists are trying to discover something harder than getting out of bed to go to work in the morning. and dont make a fucking penis joke ok they already checked everyone’s dick and it doesn’t even come close

crazy how quickly dust accumulates. i should be allowed to put my trinkets on a shelf and not touch them and they remain in perfect condition forever. dont even get me STARTED on the inside of a computer. why do i have to brush your teeth. youre technology.

its so scary making plans with new friends. what if i suggest something stupid and we have a terrible time and they find out im a fraud and not a real human being

the secret cheat code for women is realizing you dont have to date men

this doesnt just go for lesbians it goes for bi women and straight women too. i cant even count how many times straight women have told me “i wish i was a lesbian so i didnt have to date men” but guess what … u Dont have to date men 

to be clear this also isnt necessarily saying ‘go date women instead!!’ its just saying…. u dont have to date men. u dont have to be dating women in order to not date men! in fact if ur not attracted to women at all please dont date women just as a substitute for men. but if dating men isnt making u happy… u dont have to do that. u dont have to make a space in ur life for men

of course you are destroying men mental health by saying this! if women don't date men who's gonna have warm meals ready for them when they get home? who's gonna be a free house maid and secretary and errand person and who's gonna raise their children and take care of men like a mom but with sex and hopefully without complains or being "hysterical"?? do men have to do that all by themselves? poor guys!

crazy how much i could get done if i didn't have "doesn't want to do things" disorder