Rope Bunny

You became the blade that was dropped on the floor

Let me call her you said

No. She will think you're crazy.

Let me call my mum instead

No. She will think you’re crazier.

Your nails cutting me like your blade on your thighs

I just wanted to stop the tears in your eyes

I did not deserve to be hit

to be choked

to be sat naked with my back against the wall

As you cursed me for my sins

How darr you abuse me for trying

I wanted to keep you safe

I didn't care that you got angrier and angrier

Until I was sat on the floor with my head in-between my knees

When the storm passed

I was the one holding YOU

Forget about the fact this was the first time I had ever been hit

By my first love

On your first trip

On your first breakdown

How dare you cry after beating me

How dare I push myself aside once again

A necklace made of his hands

It could've been made of diamonds

I felt so lucky

Head against the wall

A boulder weighing me down

My soul seeping out of my eyes

The pain throbbing between my thighs

Staring at me like a masterpiece that was ruined

But I should be grateful he was not raping me

Grateful he didn't squeeze tighter

Grateful it was in the safety of my bedroom

A slap across the face

A punch in the stomach

Things at any other day I would've liked

But the look in his eyes

Shivers down my spine

This time it was different

Praying on my vulnerability

The shame overtaking me

From there on he stole my power

If only he had asked nicely maybe I would've surrendered to him

I see the scars everyday in the stories of my mind

My mind and my body failed me