I think the thing that helps, when I am at baseline, is recognizing that this is the rest of my life. Forwards and back I have been, am, and will continue to be bipolar. A lot of us struggle with this and it’s easy to feel and frame it as something external that acts upon me, but in the effort to learn to love myself I have to accept these things.
The guilt and regret of my actions when I’m hypomanic or depressed is different from shame. The tangible actions and effects on myself and others can be rectified, I can be accountable to them. But the shame itself of being bipolar isn’t addressing those actions and feelings, it’s commenting on my self and my worth.
If this is the rest of my life–much like being a parent or being transgender–then I can only learn to work with my circumstances and hope to love myself one day. I deserve that and so do you. It’s taken years of therapy and I probably won’t leave anytime soon, but we can make it.