Pay It Forward

You see this picture? You'd think I'm happiest person on the planet. You'd think I would've had such a great day, that I had no struggles or worries on my mind, and that everything in my life was perfect.

In reality, this picture was taken around midday in Dubai. It was hot, I was very uncomfortable and felt like I needed an hour long shower. I was cranky and hungry, which isn't a good combination. I was worried about a million things, and a million other scenarios of what-ifs roaming around in my mind. I still chose to smile for the picture and enjoy the moment. 

Because, I knew I wasn't going to get this moment again. It's not everyday that I get dressed up and takes pictures. It's not everyday I would be surrounded by people who care about me, enjoying the little things with me. So I chose to put aside all my worries to enjoy this moment.

Here's the thing to remember about people who smile a lot. They go through hard times too. They're struggling too. Life is not easy for any one of us. Life hits you when you least expect it, and pushes you down. It will overwhelm you with what would seem like the entire world's burdens laying right on your shoulders. You will feel like your world is crashing down. Whether it's financial problems, career problems, relationship problems., etc.. etc.. life will keep pushing you and forcing you down to see how much you can take. 

You will feel like you're the only going through tough times because you might see people smiling around you and enjoying life. That's not because their lives are perfect and yours isn't. The only difference is that they chose to enjoy the present moment, instead of wasting it worrying about tomorrow. Those who smile a lot choose to cherish and appreciate every minute they have, because it will not come again. 

We choose to rejoice in the smallest of moments, like finding the perfect parking spot in a busy mall, or waking up to a clear blue sky. We choose to overcome the hardships by finding and focusing on the positive. It isn't easy. It is intentional. It requires hard work.

Like with anything in life, being positive requires dedication to see and feel yourself progress. With the Dubai Fitness Challenge starting today, and being someone who already works out everyday, I decided to use the challenge to develop a stronger, more positive mindset.

I have decided to improve my mental fitness every day for 30 days. Fitness of the body goes hand in hand with fitness of the mind. In order for one to improve, the other has to improve as well.

So here's a list of the 30 things that I will do to improve my mental health:

1. Write down 10 things I'm grateful for.

2. Take a hot bath listening to my favorite music.

3. Pick 5 books about topics I'm interested in and read them throughout the month.

4. Delete/unsubscribe from all the unnecessary emails.

5. Help out a stranger.

6. Go the entire day thanking people for the smallest of things that they do to help me.

7. Write a list of short-term goals under a timeline.

8. Write down the best thing that happened to me today.

9. Smile at every stranger that walks by.

10. Gift one of my favorite books to a friend to read.

11. Practice gratitude.

12. Take a long walk outside without my phone.

13. Watch the sunset by the beach.

14. Clean out my closet.

15. Donate all the things I do not use/wear to people who need them more. Through the Happy Feet Initiative, Shoe Mart is accepting all used shoes and donating them to the people who really need them. How many of us have shoes that we haven't worn in a long time? Take time out of your day to clear those out and donate them to help those in need.

16. Compliment a stranger.

17. Go on a digital detox.

18. Write a Thank You letter to someone I appreciate.

19. Get to know a waiter of my favorite restaurant. I've found that they are the kindest and funniest people.

20. Practice gratitude again.

21. Catch up with an old friend.

22. Drink water instead of getting the regular cup of coffee.

23. Learn a new skill. For me, it's riding a bike. I believe I have postponed that quite enough :)

24. Laugh. Intentionally laugh at things that might not be as funny. Laughing is a stress-relief in itself.

25. Wake up 30 minutes earlier and write down 3 things I will enjoy throughout the day, no matter the challenges I am faced with.

26. Practice breathing exercises.

27. Listen to a motivational speech

28. Conquer a fear 

29. Sit up straight. Take notice of my body language when at a desk, or in a meeting. Sitting up straight has been proven to improve self-confidence.

30. Practice gratitude again and again.

 Mental health is just as important as physical health. Like I mentioned, they go hand-in-hand. By the end of this month, let's all aim to be healthier and continue the dedication to a healthier lifestyle!

**I know this post is pretty late, but I've had to deal with some personal issues during Eid (health and what not). But I'm all good now! So read on and enjoy**

First of all, Eid Mubarak all! I hope you had a great Ramadan and a great Eid!

I want to talk to you about the some of the things that worked in my favor this month, and things that didn't. But first, I have to talk to you about the emotional rollercoaster of working out in Ramadan.

Fasting all day is hard. It's even harder if your day job keeps you moving around in the heat. My motivation was getting lower and lower every day, and I was feeling more tired everyday. I started drinking more RedBull just to stay awake. I would take up to 3 showers a day to stay cool, and I had to get at least a 30min-1 hour nap just to be able to function properly.

Ramadan in June in Dubai is just not a good combination. It's a struggle in itself without working out. It's a test of character in the end. Let me tell you, all the struggles were worth it. It feels good to know that I can put in the effort and dedication no matter the circumstances!

So let's get down to it. Here are some of the things that worked for me this Ramadan:

Eat according to my cravings for Iftar

I tried to stick to having oats at iftar and then more complex meals later during the night. I tried. I really did. However, when the clock hit 7pm and it was time to break fast, I would be starving and craving a lot of protein and carbs. There were many days where I just wanted to have chicken and rice before my workout simply because I was hungry. I would only have a small meal after the workout.

I had to listen to my body in Ramadan, more than any other time. My appetite changed a lot throughout Ramadan. Fasting all day leads to a smaller appetite for me. My stomach capacity just shrinks because I adapt to not eating all day. 

If you can't handle eating a lot when you break your fast, then don't. Divide your meals across the night if that's easier, but make sure you're still eating healthy food that's giving you the nutrition you need everyday.

Working out after Iftar

My workout schedule was different than it was before Ramadan. Instead of my usual 5pm workouts, I would work out at 8pm 3 times a week only (due to iftars I was invited to and such).

My trainer focused on making sure I hit all the muscle groups every week (legs, back, and chest and shoulders). It was important for me to keep those muscles working to limit any shock to the muscles after Ramadan.

Coconut water

At Iftar, every night. It's a great help in rehydrating you after a long day of fasting in the Dubai heat. Coconut water has a lot of electrolytes that really help in awakening the mind and body right before a workout.

Gatorade

Drinking Gatorade was a first for me. I have honestly never tried it before Ramadan. My awesome team, Mark and Emer, recommended I have a bottle of Gatorade at iftar, and also during the workout. This definitely made a difference. It restored the sugar levels back to normal before the workout, and definitely helped me push harder during the workout, especially if I was really tired.

Eggs and Oats for Suhoor

I had 2 full eggs every morning, with a bowl of 50grams of oats. This combination is perfect because it gives me what I need to last during the day without starving as bad.

Now, eating at 3am does not get easier for me. I had to force myself to stay awake and eat this meal so I don't starve during the day. Some days, it was a struggle to finish the meal because i just wanted to go back to sleep. But it's all about your dedication. It's all about dem gainz!

What didn't really work for me was having milk or yogurt at night. I realized I may have developed some intolerance that gets me very sick for a few days every time I have a latte or some dairy product. I've decided to avoid these until I figure out what exactly is the problem :)

Those are the changes that worked for me. I kept my muscles engaged throughout the month. That was really important for me. If I had gone an entire month without working out, I know that it would only get harder to get back to the routine after Ramadan.

So in the end, it all depends on how much you want it. How much dedication and effort you're willing to put to maintain your health.

If we don't have our health, we really don't have much.

It's that time of year again! The Holy month of Ramadan is just around the corner.

Ramadan is a time where Muslims fast from sunrise to sunset. We fast from food and drinks, but also we fast with our hearts and words.

Ramadan is essentially a month of detox. A physical detox from all unhealthy, fried food that negatively affects your body after a long period of fasting. Also a mental detox that teaches you self-control, and discipline from all these bad for you. Whether you're a Muslim or not, participating in the fast during Ramadan will definitely be a rewarding experience.

For a fitness addict, Ramadan is a really tough month for me at the gym. Remembering last year, I struggled to even get one session done. In total, I had only gone to the gym twice last year. I worked out while fasting, which was a really tough decision. Because my body was dehydrated and I wasn't eating properly, I was very sore and in pain for days after. I could barely walk. Since I was fasting all day, I wasn't drinking enough water to help with my muscle recovery, and was definitely not eating the right foods to help. Sore muscles means sleepiness and fatigue, a higher level of hunger and impatience. It definitely didn't help with my detox physically nor mentally.

However, I have high hopes and a better plan this time around. I have more focus and a stronger determination, and a great team with me to not let my fears stop or hinder my progress. I always lose weight during the month of Ramadan, and this time, I refuse to lose any weight.

After a discussion with my team, Emer Morrison, and Mark Doherty (check them out on Instagram!), we agreed on the following plan:

- Workouts will only be done after Iftar (the breaking of the fast) at 8pm. The body is too dehydrated and tired beforehand. That would cause dizziness and sore muscles, and it would just be very dangerous to train. Speaking from experience here..

- I will still have 5 meals a day. Starting from 7pm with a small meal to break my fast. A gym session at 8pm with a bottle of Gatorade to help with muscle recovery. Followed by a post-workout meal at 9pm. My 3rd meal would be at 11pm, and 4th at 12am. My last meal would be at 4am before I start the fast for the day.

- The total number of calories would be lower than what I'm having now to avoid any bloating and to allow the body to store the nutrients properly. The meals would be smaller but full of the fats/carbs/protein that I would need to maintain my weight and keep my energy levels high. The plan is to increase the amount of food as the days pass by and my body adapts to the fasting.

- The kind of food I'll be having is tailored for my goals. My body type is Ectomorph, which means I have a very fast metabolism. Every meal I eat will have carbs to help me maintain and give me enough energy throughout the day and the workout. Small meals, filled with simple sugars that I need. For those that are Endomorphs, your plan might be different to help you lose weight, and maintain your calorie deficit. The main goal is controlled and counted calories. For me, it's to ensure I don't bloat and get stomach problems, but also to ensure I'm getting enough of what my body needs.

That's the plan I have now, and will keep you updated on my social media about my progress and changes to this plan as the days pass by.

As important as that is, a physical detox isn't the primary goal of Ramadan. Sure, it has its physical benefits but more importantly, it's a month of mental detox. It's a time to reconnect spiritually, and self-reflect on the year that has passed. 

Ramadan teaches us to rid our minds of all the noise, the negative thoughts and anger that we are carrying.

Ramadan teaches us patience in situations we're easily annoyed, and in situations that cause us a lot of worry.

It teaches us to forgive all those who've hurt us, and all the pain that lingers in our minds.

It teaches us to believe stronger in God, and cherish all the blessings He gives us everyday. 

Ramadan asks for more mental strength than any other time in the year. So this is my advice to you during Ramadan:

- Spend the entire month focused on helping others in any way you can. Financially or not.

- Put all your focus on practicing gratitude. Cherish the blessings you are surrounded by everyday.

- Pray. Pray that your blessings remain, and your struggles disappear.

- Read the Quran. Whether you're a Muslim or not. Islam teaches us to be kind, and I urge you to read the Quran to understand the true foundations of Islam that are not portrayed in the media nowadays.

- Avoid using bad language, and even negative language. Take it as a month-long challenge to rid yourself of negative words and thoughts, and focus only on the good. Focus on finding the good even in the worst of situations.

In short, take care of yourself during Ramadan. Take care of your body, the only body you'll live for the rest of your life. Better yet, take care of your mind. It controls your life.

Ramadan is a month of detox for everyone. Ramadan Kareem to you, your families and all your loved ones. May it be a month filled with blessings for you all. Let's detox from all bad things! Who's with me? :)

I recently watched the new Netflix series "13 reasons why" about a high school girl who takes her own life because of all the pain that was inflicted on her by the people in her life.

There were many reviews about this series because it sends a very strong message. Many thought it was too much and that the people involved had to make the series less dramatic. Or that showing her detailed suicide was a really bad idea because it encourages those with suicidal thoughts to take their own life, and gives them ideas on how to do so. Many say that those facing depression should not watch this series as it will harm them even further. Obviously I decided to share my view and write a post about it. It might be controversial but I honestly don't agree with those comments at all. The series depicts the life of a high school girl facing many heartbreaks and disappointments, a girl who faced situations a teenager should, in a perfect world, never be exposed to. 

The lessons I took from 13 Reasons Why: 

Suicide is not a weakness. It's surrender.  

Hannah Baker, the main character in the series, goes through a series of emotionally traumatic situations that, in my opinion, only the strong can overcome. She tries multiple times to talk to people but gets shut down. The only option she thinks she has is to take her own life and let all the pain disappear. Her surrender to life"s pains led her to take her own life instead of reaching out for help and getting the support she needed. 

That to me is surrender. She gave in. I understand the situations she put her through were incredibly tough, but she gave in. Being that young and going through that.. it isn't fair. And it is not her fault. 

Society is still unaccepting of the reality that many commit suicide every day.

There are thousands of suicide attempts that happen every year across the world. The series tried to break the pattern of concealing the horrors of suicide but was criticized for it. The story is focused on how even the smallest of unkind gestures can leave a lasting mark on someone's heart. It challenges and forces people to look within themselves and be kinder to themselves and others.

Every action has a reaction.  

Whether it's stealing a love letter, or pushing someone away. Whether it's disregarding how you make others feel and continue being completely cruel. Every action has its own waves or reactions that can be worse than the action itself. 

Being cruel and rude gets us nowhere. Being mean to others and selfish with our hearts gets us nowhere.  

There's always another option. Suicide is never the solution.

Hannah Baker tried to reach out to people to help her through what she went through. She tried to talk about the pain she's dealing with but to her, she wasn't getting the support she needed. In my opinion, she didn't reach out to the right people. She felt she couldn't say anything or that she would be a burden if she spoke to anyone. But she could've tried harder. She should've talked to her parents, or the boy she loved. She should've opened up to anyone that could help her. Her surrender to life led her to take her life and inflict a lot of pain on her parents. Forget the pain she inflicted on the kids around by releasing those tapes, they needed to know what they did wrong. But the pain she inflicted on her family was unnecessary. They will have to live a lifetime with the pain of losing their child to suicide because she couldn't deal with the pain herself.

Suicide is never the solution. It's selfish. It is. I'm sorry if that offends anyone but it is selfish. Being given another day to live is a miracle on its own. It is always a blessing.

Be Kind.

If anything, what I took from this series is that the smallest act of kindness can go a long way, especially with people feeling lonely or depressed. 

Please be kind to others. You are not better and not worse than anyone else on this planet. You can be the reason someone believes in the good in the world. You can also be the one that pushes someone over the edge. You'll never know what a person is going through, and what scars they have on their heart. You'll never know. 

Please be kind. 

I've accidentally stumbled across a graduation picture while looking for some documents on my laptop. My college graduation that seemed almost like a lifetime ago. 

Five years ago, I was finishing my last semester at college. Getting ready to graduate, and start a new chapter of my life. Little did I know I would be here writing a post about that.

This was me walking into the University City Hall for my graduation ceremony.

Five years ago.. For starters, those 5 years have passed by in a heartbeat. How is time flying by so fast?

I was set to start my new career, my first real job, in October that same year. You'd expect me to feel nervous, scared maybe. But from what I remember, I felt mostly numb to all of it. Numb to the fact that I was starting a job that has taken me through a roller-coaster ride over the past 4 years, numb to living on my own, just numb.

Maybe I was nervous. Maybe I was scared. Maybe I was just good at faking my confidence. But mostly, I remember being numb.

Looking back, I find myself growing every day. Learning from the experiences life hits me with, enjoying the good memories God has blessed me with. Looking back, I realize I've changed a lot and I want to share some of the things I've learned over the past 5 years:

Dream Big and Take Risks

I can honestly say I didn't know how to dream. I don't think I had the courage to dream big and take risks. My dreams were very... let's say, traditional. Get a job, live on my own, get married, die happy. The end. 

That was pretty much it. How crazy is that! Simple dreams for a simple girl who was too afraid to dream bigger. 

If I can give you one advice, it would be this. Dig deep into your soul, find your most inner wishes. Those are the dreams you have to go after. The world is really your oyster. Accept the fears you have, find ways of overcoming them and take those risks you feel are more impossibilities than opportunities. Take the risks you're afraid of taking, and find ways of making your dream come true.

Love Yourself

Do I sound like a broken record yet? Well, good.

Learning to love yourself for exactly who you are could be the best gift you give yourself. People come and go. Friends become strangers. Strangers become friends. It's just life. Be your own rock.  Get comfortable with being by yourself. Learn to enjoy your own company because when it comes down to it, you're all that you've got. 

Learn how to deal with your anger, your frustrations. Learn to pick yourself up when those negative thoughts hit.

Learn to channel that negative energy into doing what excites you and motivates you.

Let Go

Let go of the noise.

And there will be a lot of noise. Whether it's from the job you do, the people you know, or just the environment you live in.

Let go of the small things that upset you. If it's not going to matter tomorrow, then let it go. Looking at the bigger picture, these small things don't matter at all.

Learn to deal with the big things and then move on. It was Buddha who said, "what we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: Our life is the creation of our mind." Learn from your mistakes, learn from those bad experiences, and move forward taking those lessons with you. There is absolutely nothing good that comes from dwelling on the past.

Let go of Over-doing it.

Over-thinking. Over-worrying. Over-planning.

Just let things be. Let the pieces fall where they may. Let the memories happen. Trying to control everything will only disappoint you. Learn to trust in all the good in the world, and let things go.

You're Stronger than You Think

Life has a way of always kicking you back down, giving you harder and harder experiences to deal with. That's only because you get stronger and stronger each and every day. 

I was once told, I'm a fighter. Those words ring in my mind every time I've facing a difficult situation. I'm a fighter. Damn right, I'm a fighter. Just watch me pick myself up and fight for another day to smile. 

No matter what comes my way, I know I can get through it now. It might seem tough at the time, it might seem like the world is ending, but the funny thing about feeling like you've hit rock bottom is that there's nowhere else to go but up. So deal with the noise, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start another day on a positive note focusing on all the good things.

Laugh and Laugh Loudly

If you're going to laugh, laugh with all your heart. Don't half-ass it. Laugh till your stomach hurts. Laugh at the small things. Laugh at the lame jokes. Laugh my dear, laugh. It's a form of therapy in itself.

Change is the only constant. If you aren't changing, you aren't moving. Once you start accepting the changes in your life, and allowing change to happen, you open your eyes to a new world you didn't know existed.

Sometimes, it takes something as simple as accidentally stumbling across your graduation picture to make you realize how far you've come. I was physically and mentally completely different than the person I am today. It almost seems like an out-of-body experience, a different life than I'm living now. I didn't even have the imagination to dream as big as I do now.. learning doesn't end at graduation, it really is just the beginning.

Thankful for all the good memories that keep me smiling, and all the tough experiences that keep me strong.

What lessons have you learned over the past 5 years? Comment below and let me know how much you've changed!

Inspired by the awesome Tara Maria Hissen about her life experience of being thick in a thin world.

She talks about how her Middle Eastern background blessed her with curves and how she's managed to turn around her views to a more positive body image through training and healthy eating. You can read all about her journey here.

I wanted to give you all my perspective. A thin perspective, shall we say.

 I'm Lebanese. I've been blessed with my Middle Eastern background, because of its rich culture. I however, was not blessed with curves. I was blessed with a fast metabolism. I've always been thin. I've actually been underweight most of my life. Actually, come to think of it.. all my life, even now. Finding clothes my size was very difficult because nothing ever fit properly. Everything was way too big. I actually had to ask for a US size 00 once. And that's not me bragging. Please don't get me wrong. That was me so hurt and annoyed at myself because I had to ask for an even smaller size.

A size 00! How does that even exist!

Was I forcing it to be that way? Of course not.. I can happily say I've never forced myself to stay thin. I just never managed to gain enough weight to get me to that healthy BMI level. Because of the world we live in, people automatically perceive you a certain way depending on your size. I used to wear bigger clothes that don't really show how thin I am. I used to try to cover up so people won't see how thin I am so they don't judge me for my size.

We all know how society has programmed our thinking.

Thin is stuck up and proud. Thick is unhealthy and lazy.

I've gotten a lot of hate because of my size. I've gotten comments like..

You're so lucky, you can eat anything you'll never gain weight

Wow, you're so thin, you look like you're dying

It must be so easy for you to find clothes

Look at you, you're skin and bones

And my personal favorite,

You're so thin, how are you not cold all the time?

I mean.. seriously?! I never felt comfortable in my own skin anyway being as thin as I was. As if I didn't have enough hate for my body, I had to endure hearing those comments almost on a daily basis. And for someone who was trying so hard to gain weight, these comments were horrible and demotivating to hear. 

One day, when I finally got sick of hearing such comments, I decided to shut out the world and focus on myself. I started wearing clothes that actually looked good on me. And let me tell you.. I was so self-conscious!

Will people think I'm showing off?

I don't want to look thin

I don't want to look stuck up

I don't want to be hated

Argghh.. if only I could turn back time to slap some sense into me. I got a lot of hate for dressing for my shape and size. It affected me for a long time, but I had my closest friends telling me I look good and that I shouldn't care what people think.

Eventually, those words sunk in and I stopped caring what people thought about my size.

Was I gaining weight? No. I was still, as some would say, tiny. *rolls eyes*

My biggest trigger to gain weight is that I want to skydive. I was, still am, under their weight limit and cannot skydive. How horrible is that! I know #firstworldproblems.. but it's always been a dream of mine.

I decided one day that if I really wanted to skydive, I would have to get healthy. I wasn't thinking of getting super duper fit, I just wanted to get healthy enough to skydive. So I signed up at a gym and started training. 

I was at Gold's Gym for 6 months. Did I gain muscle? Yes, I had a lot more muscle definition. Did I gain weight? Nope. I was still the same weight as the day I started training. I've focused on eating right. I was at a point where I was eating 5 meals a day, at 2300 calories. I talk more about the kind of meals I was having here. I was still not gaining weight. Believe it or not!

Fast forward 5 months after, insert life and work challenges, an expired gym membership and I had stopped training and just started losing weight. The way my body works is if I eat at least 3 meals every day, I maintain my weight. If I miss one meal, I start losing weight. Absolutely ridiculous.

You might hate me for this. You might say, oh she's so lucky. Well, I'm not. This is sometimes a curse more than it is a blessing. I didn't ask to be this way, I was born this way. It makes me think that maybe it's harder to gain weight than it is to lose weight. But hey, that's just me.

I am now at a point where I weight the same as I did my Sophomore year at university - 46kgs and I'm not afraid to say that. I woke up one day and thought, what the hell happened to me? How did I lose so much weight?

People around me started noticing and I hated it. I wanted to be healthy so bad. Instead, I lost my focus and started losing weight again. 

I was so angry at myself. I decided to sign up to TRAIN and find a trainer that understood my challenges. Boy was that hard. It took me almost a month of looking for the right trainer. A trainer that was able to push me to work out harder than I thought I was capable of, but also someone I can joke around with and have fun with.

I'm so thankful I found Emer Morrison as part of the Alvitus team! All I can say is great things come to those who wait :)

So here I am again, trying. That's all I can promise myself, to try harder every day. Working out as often as I can, and following my meal plan to the letter. It's been only two weeks and I haven't gained any weight yet. I've gained muscle definition, but no weight yet.

I'm not giving up. Because it's not good to be thin. It's not pretty to be underweight, it's unhealthy and comes with its own set of issues, like the possibility of removing two pairs of ribs because of lack of fat and muscle. Yes, a doctor once presented that option to me. I didn't go through with it, obviously!

I'll take any comments that come my way because I'm strong enough to do so now. But I'm not giving up. My health matters. I want to live a long healthy life, God willing. It all starts with my health.

So to all you thin people out there, I tell you get your ass in a gym or get your eating right. Your life matters, you staying thin so people find you attractive, or even for you to find yourself pretty is, I hate to say, a ridiculous thought. You're at your best when you're healthy and looking after yourself. You're beautiful when you take care of yourself!

Ignore all the bad comments, because they will come anyway. Whether you're thick, thin, or fit. People will call you all sorts of things because that's what they do. So learn to ignore it all.

Be healthy, don't shorten your life to stay thin. You need to live a full life. You have to.

Coming from someone who's been there.. just trust me on this.

I want to talk to you about something.

It's this altered reality we call social media.

We're all addicted to it. We like posting pictures and videos. We like getting notifications of people liking them. The more comments and likes we get, the more we end up posting. It's almost like we have to satisfy a craving that will never end. We're in need of this online attention that can't be gained elsewhere. We're in search of approval. We're in constant need for more.

I'm here to tell you, I am not what I post to be all the time on my social media pages.

I might be posting a picture of me smiling as a throwback picture, but I would've probably had a crappy day and wanted to find some happiness by posting about a memory that made me smile.

Because I truly want to inspire people.

I could be in tears posting on social media (and that has happened). But does that mean I'm living a double life? I don't believe so.

I am selective about what I share on social media, because I hope through the darkness I go through, and the way I choose to deal with it, that I can help someone out there get through their pain and struggle.

Think of it this way.

Life happens off of social media. People get to know each other in real life, not online reality.

People fall in love, they get married. They get divorced off of social media.

Just because someone posts a picture with their partner does not necessarily mean they are the happiest couple on the planet. It doesn't mean they aren't happy either.

Just because someone commented on another person's post does not mean that they're interested.

Just because people choose to not share their personal lives on social media, does not mean they are living boring lives.

We have to understand this. Life is not about social media. We have allowed ourselves to judge each other, fight and hate on each other just through the posts we see. That is no way to live. I may have posted about going to the beach, but I could've hated every minute of it. How would you know?

You can't.

You only see what I show you, and will only believe it if I've given you a consistent level of authenticity, honesty and trust. You have to take things with a grain of salt. 

People are posting about their passion on social media because they want to share that with the world and hope to inspire others. That doesn't make their life better or worse than yours. It doesn't mean the people are happier or that they aren't going through tough times themselves.

We use social media to inspire. We use it to help others. I use it to inspire. 

I am not better nor worse than you. Trust me. I have a goal and dream in mind, and I'm using social media to achieve that. It's a tool. A vehicle towards the dream I have.

So if you take anything from this post, please let it be this:

Use social media to share your passion, or to be a part of someone else's journey. Let go of the hate and anger. Let go of the jealousy. Live and let live my dear readers. Live and let live.

Ah.. New Year's Resolutions. It's that time of year where everyone starts day-dreaming about all the changes they're going to make next year. From getting healthier, to building a home, and all the other weird ones that exist.

What we all know is that most resolutions don't last. No matter how many resolutions you make, and how much you tell yourself you'll stick to them, if you aren't willing to change, then these resolutions definitely won't last. So when deciding on the changes you make next year, think of what you want to achieve. Think of the changes you want in your life, the changes you truly want to commit to, and make those your resolutions.

So let me tell you my 6 resolutions for 2017!

1. To only get in line at a STARBUCKS if I know exactly what I want to order

Yes, this is my first. And not only because it was the first that popped in my head. I hope and pray that more people take this up as a resolution because I find it really annoying when I desperately need coffee and there's a person ahead of me who is taking forever deciding on their order. It's just not right! :)

2. To COOK more

I love cooking, I've always loved it. I'm getting better at it everyday. I mean the first time I cooked chicken, one piece turned out to be 3 layers of overburnt, to slightly cooked down to completely frozen in the center.

Let's just say, I can actually make edible food now! So I'm going to stick to my love of cooking and push myself to try different recipes!

3. To WORKOUT as often as I can, and not feel guilty if I don't

I used to workout a lot. Almost every day of the week. But lately, with the workload I have at my day job, things have completely changed and I haven't been to the gym in weeks. I'm spending my entire day either hunched back over a laptop, or over a steering wheel driving. It's horrible for my back, and makes me feel less energetic. 

So next year, my ambition is to work out as often as I can. Not just to get fitter and gain more muscle definition, but to feel physically, emotionally and mentally better to reduce my muscle/joint pain. If days pass by where I'm either too busy to work out or too lazy even, then I'll accept that. Being healthy is a lifestyle, it's not an end-goal.

4. To let go of the NEGATIVITY

Because days pass by and the pressure builds. Your work gives you stress. Someone threw a negative word at you that affects your entire week. These negative thoughts can fester inside your mind for weeks, even years if you let them. 

It's a lifelong journey, you need to tell yourself everyday to focus on the positive instead of the negative. That's why I'll be trying even harder to let of all the negativity that comes my way, and just focus on all the good things in my life.

5. To spread the beauty of PAY IT FORWARD 

And not just by talking about it on my blog, or my social media pages. But to go out to the world and engage with people. Actions speak louder than words, so I better increase my actions so they can do the talking for me.

Last but not least, the resolution I feel we all should have:

6. To LOVE myself

By expressing my gratitude for all the people and blessings in my life.

By asking for help when I need it.

By forgiving my own mistakes, and forgiving others. 

Not just on New Year's Eve or Day. How many of us get those messages that say, "I want to start fresh so please forgive me for all the mistakes because it's now a new year". We should be telling ourselves that every day, not just on special occasions. Forgive people. Forgive yourself. Don't wait for a specific day to do so.

By trusting myself, and trusting the people around me.

By accepting the fact that these resolutions are not set in stone. By knowing that I'm growing and learning every day and that this list is a forward-looking view of my hopes for the new year that could grow or completely change even.

I look at my resolutions as lifestyle changes and not an end of year goal. 

So with all the craziness happening right now with the holidays coming up, I thought I'd share a light-hearted post with 20 random things you probably didn't know about me.

It's these small quirks that make me who I am, and it's loving these small quirks about yourself that help you regain your confidence and strength!

So here we go!

1. I have tiny wrists. Which makes it super hard to find bracelets that fit without falling off.

2. I bite my lip a lot. Actually, I chew on my lip a lot. So if you see me doing it, I'm either nervous or hungry.

3. Chewing gum loudly annoys me like mad. Chewing anything loudly really...

4. If you're sitting next to me, and shaking your leg, I will definitely unleash my annoyance on you.. If I know you well enough.

5. I keep my nails long because if I don't, I tend to scratch my cuticles.. Again, If I'm nervous.. or hungry.

6. I'm always cold. Literally. Always cold.

7. I have to use the bathroom at least twice before I leave my apartment. What can I say.. I have a tiny bladder.

8. I always have Nachos cheese with my salted popcorn. 

9. I have tiny ears. Or so people keep telling me. 

10. I don't understand horsepower in cars. Someone tried to explain it to me once, and my argument was this:

"If a car has 100 horse power, does that equate to 100 horses? Doesn't that mean you're measuring the strength of all these horses based on the lead horse? What if that horse was sick? Maybe the first measurement of horse power was done with an old, sick horse?"

See? Don't ask me about this. I will only confuse and annoy you.

11. I prefer animated movies and musicals over anything else.

12. I can blink. But I can't wink.

13. I can't whistle.

14. I'm slightly OCD with the way I arrange things. And the way I eat food. And a lot of other things..

15. I've watched the 3-hour movie "Les Miserables" at least 10 times.. and counting.

16. I'd rather skydive a thousand times than bungee-jump once. I have a fear of hitting the bridge I'm jumping off on my way back up. Not all fears are legitimate ok?

17. I'm a bit of a hoarder. I keep memories in form of things.. boarding passes, fridge magnets, you name it.

18. I love looking at the stars.

19. I love driving in the rain.

20. I've been told I have wobbly ankles when I walk.. 

That's it about me! Comment below some random things about you!

The most powerful thing we have is the thoughts in our head. They have such strong impact on everything we do during the day. One single thought can literally change your life. Isn't that a scary thought? That you can control how your life evolves by the thoughts you keep. That's exactly what the Law of Attraction talks about. The Law of Attraction urges you to have positive mantras that you repeat to yourself every day. So instead of saying you don't want to be sad, you'd tell yourself you want to be happy. Plain and simple. Your thoughts would be in the positive tone instead of the negative. Talk to yourself about what you want to happen, what you want to achieve, what you want your life to be, instead of the fears you have, and the worries in your mind.

You are the only person standing in your way. Once you realize that all the forces around you are controlled by your reactions, your life will begin to change. All the forces in this world are set up for your success, you just have to allow it to happen.

So what thoughts should you stop having and what to replace them with?

Body Image

Easily one of the biggest blockers we put on ourselves.

Thoughts to Stop:

I'm too fat.

I'm too thin.

I have cellulite.

I have wrinkles.

I'm too old.

I'm too young.

I'm not as pretty.

I'm not as fit.

I'm this. I'm that.

Oh my, the thoughts are endless. Our self-image can really stop us from putting ourselves out there, and going after our dreams. So here's how you fix that. 

Thoughts to Start Having:

I'm the way God made me.

I'm the best version of myself.

I have so much more to offer than how I look.

I'm eating healthier to live a longer life, and feel better about myself.

Listen to your thoughts. Why focus on the things you dislike when you can instead focus on all the good attributes about you?

Remember, you're always beautiful in a stranger's eyes. You're the one who can either exaggerate or belittle those faults you see. 

Change the way you see yourself. The world around you will begin to change.

Self Worth

How often do you feel your self-esteem has fallen so far beyond repair? It's all these negative thoughts roaming around in your head that make you feel worse about yourself as each minute passes by.

Thoughts to Stop:

I'll never get that job.

I'll never get married because the man I love will get bored of me.

I'll never open up my own company.

I'm not smart enough.

I'm not skilled enough.

It's toxic, I promise you! All these thoughts are like poison in your bloodstream. Get rid of them! Now!

You are good enough. You are good enough. You are good enough. Just in case you didn't think so.

Thoughts to Start Having:

If it's meant to be, I will be doing the job that's the best for me, my career and my mental and physical health.

If the man I love loves me back, there is no reason for me to believe otherwise. These thoughts only come from a place of fear and rejection that I should not entertain.

I will work as hard as I need to to open up my company. My hard work will pay off and I'll be living the life I dream of.

I take every chance I get to learn as much as I can, as often as I can. It's all in my control, and I'll keep pushing forward to be the best version of myself.

I know the skills I have and I have confidence in myself. The skills I do not have currently, I will work hard to earn. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. I'm always learning and growing.

So stop telling yourself you aren't good enough. For the job, for the relationship you're in. Your worth is what you decide it to be. It's what you believe it to be. If you allow people to walk all over you and use you, then that's how you'll see yourself. Make a promise to love yourself first. You can't serve from an empty cup, ever heard that before? In order to get that happy life you're after, you need to love yourself first and foremost. It is not selfish to put yourself and your needs first.

Surroundings

There is so much negativity around us. There is even more negativity within us. So why allow more to come from your surroundings? Or even from the people around you?

Thoughts to Stop:

I hate the drivers here.

I don't like that person.

Being with this person only makes me feel worse about myself.

Etc.. etc.. etc..

You will come across many people in life that aren't as mentally strong as you. They would only want to bring you down or make you feel horrible simply because they are not happy with who they are, and do not have the strength to overcome that. 

Don't keep these people around. You need a proper support system around you. You need good people that want the best for you. The kind of people that tell you when you're right, but more importantly tell you when you're wrong.

Thoughts to Start Having:

This place has so much to offer me. I love the city lights and the skyline. It's a beautiful city full of opportunities waiting for me.

This person I dislike does not affect my life in any way and I should distance myself from them. I will wish them luck and love and happiness, and wish them on their way.

I need to be with a person who understands me and loves me. A person who appreciates me. Only those kind of people are allowed in my life.

These are just some thoughts I've had. I've learnt to replace them with thoughts that are better for my health.

Acknowledge the fears. And fight them. Fight back when they arise. You are beautiful. You are smart. You have so much to offer the world, and you will not waste any more time on those negative thoughts that block you.

And remember, the world is at your fingertips. Now go out and get it!

Comment below what negative thoughts you have and how you overcome them! I'd love to hear about it.

My blog is to talk to you about living a positive life. It's about listening to those negative thoughts you have but instead of letting them drown you, you acknowledge their existence and use them to fuel you towards something better. That's what I talk about. I believe in energies. I believe in karma. I believe in self-love. I'm a strong believer in the power of Pay it forward. I know how one bad thought can hurt my week. I know the effect one bad comment can make on my health. I know how bad my thoughts can be and I almost always know when their effect start surfacing. I'm usually more capable of controlling these negative thoughts.

But sometimes, it gets too much. I'm a strong advocate for self-love. So why have I not posted anything lately? Because I've put all my time and effort on things that don't motivate me, surrounded by people that only fill my head with negativity. I stopped doing things that actually make me genuinely happy, just because I stopped having time to do that. I used to work out every day. I used to have a stronger outlook on life. But I stopped making time for all that because I would spend most of time doing things that do not drive me.

So in order to get back to who I am, I want to tell you the emotions that started to surface from just a month of lack of focus.. or better yet, a focus on negative thoughts. Maybe you've gone through the same and can relate.

Annoyed and Angry

Things that I used to be strong enough to let go off became things that annoy me beyond measure. The smallest of actions used to get under my nerves. I would fight my closest friends over little things that make absolutely no sense. Bad drivers would piss me off to the extreme. I had so much pent up anger that I couldn't even bare myself. It was happening and I couldn't stop myself from getting annoyed. There were too many mean comments during the day, too many "stink-eyes" during the day. I had gotten to a point where the guard I had fell and I couldn't get over things.

Uninspired

So much that I didn't see the point in this blog. Or the point of self-love. I lost all my drive, and I just wanted to live day by day as if what I do during the day doesn't matter. As if the pay it forward concept that I so strongly believe can be done by someone else. I had writer's block, and I wasn't able to put words together to try and help someone. I was just uninspired. A complete alien in my own life, doing things that have no impact. 

And that's just not me. I do things with my heart. That gets me in trouble sometimes.. most of them time. But I care. A lot. About a lot. That's just who I am. I've been called hormonal, emotional and overly-sensitive. I've been told I take things too personally. I've been put down for caring too much. All these words I keep hearing got to me and I didn't see the point of anything I was doing anymore.

Depressed and Tired

Was I ever. I'm a person who loves to meet people, I love talking about my passion even though I get really nervous when I talk openly about it. 

All this vanished. I really was doing nothing to help myself. I would wake up, do my job, and go back home to continue whatever work I had left to do. I stopped living. And I have a passion for life and doing new things. This all stopped. 

I stopped working out. I stopped going to the gym which I loved to do. I felt too tired to work out, too tired to get in my gym gear and drive to a gym I used to loved. My self-image got worse. I started eating less, drinking more coffee. A lot more coffee actually. I would spend an entire day drinking three cups of coffee, loading on small amount of carbs.

"A large sized iced coffee with a small donut to go please, under the name Jay". Get my order, pretty much inhale the donut in my car and off I go to my next meeting.

My days were uneventful, and hopped up on caffeine.

What I'm Doing About it

Which is really the point of this post. Firstly, admitting that I've had a problem these past few weeks. Admitting and acknowledging that there is something wrong and that it's a problem I can deal with. So I started talking about how I've been feeling. I told my close group that this was happening. I stopped lying about being too busy or just having too much to do. I just didn't want to face feeling uneasy, so I talked about my problems. It's the first step to overcoming it.

This might seem silly to some. I've been told that I have my health, a roof over my head, and food on the table. There's nothing to be sad about. There's no reason to feel this way. Which is completely true. Yet I still felt alienated. It was one negative thought after the other that has made me feel helpless. 

The reason I started this blog was because I felt I could help people. I was strong, mentally and physically to do that. And I took all of that for granted. I assumed I could handle a little more negativity every day without letting things go. What I didn't realize is that you can so easily forget the small things you do everyday that help with your mental health and strength.  So now, I'm going to focus my energies on the things that actually help me, with people that are there for me. I'm going to get back to who I am, because self-love is so important. Taking care of yourself is the best gift you can give the world. 

Take a long bath, listen to your favorite music. Go out to a new restaurant. Do the things that you know will make you feel great. And do them regularly. Every day. Every night.

That's how you take back control of your life. That's how you use the law of attraction. That's what you need to pursue your dreams and live the life you want.

My passion for this is growing. I'm getting back on my feet. 

Let me know if you've ever faced such tough times and how you managed to get through them. I'd love to hear about it in the comments!

I may not be the best person to be talking about this, I'm almost definitely not. But that's exactly why I'm writing this.

How many times do you feel like you're just “settling” with someone or that you aren't being treated the way you wanted to be treated? How many times did you just let things go because "it isn't a big deal"?

Yes, I've been there – settling for something other than what you really deserve. Because of some insecurity you're dealing with, or some demons that make you think you're not worth better. I mean all relationships you’ve had or will have definitely leave a lasting mark on your heart – as cliché as that sounds. You will probably spend months trying to recover from that. From the mental trauma that you might have gone through. And let's face it, society tries to avoid dealing with these issues. Society tells you to just "get over it and move on". When you and I both know it's not that easy. It takes a huge amount of strength to be able to tell yourself you deserve better and you would rather be alone than be going through emotional stress with that person.

I'm talking from experience here. I'm maybe not the best person to be talking about picking friends but as I said, that's exactly why I'm writing this. I get stronger every day despite all the drama I go through everyday. And I'm no expert but allow me to share some thoughts about the qualities you need in the people you call "friends".

1. Someone who listens to you

That's what you need. On those tough days where everything seems to go wrong and the world seems to be against you, you need someone who will be there for you to listen to your rants and complaints. I can't tell you how many times I've come back from work and all I wanted to do was hide under the covers and sleep. But friends are there to get you back out of that shell and get you to let out all of that negative energy. No matter how long it takes and how many tangents you go on while ranting, good friends listen to you. Hear the words you're saying and even if they don't end up giving a solution to the problem, they give you the chance to express your anger. It's therapy, it's stress relief, it's NORMAL.

2. Someone that supports you, and someone that allows you to support them

You need to have someone that can support you achieve your dreams, support you when you're down. Support YOU. You don't need someone who'll criticize your every move, and make you feel worse about yourself. Allow yourself time to find this person that will be by your side. 

Allow yourself time to find this person that lets you be there for them when they don't want anyone around. If someone keeps pushing you away, or putting up these walls, you cannot be a good friend, and cannot have a good friend in them. Friends need to be open with each other both in times of happiness and hardships. 

3. Someone similar to you

Someone who carries the same beliefs and morals as you. Because if you agree on the basics, then you'll have an easier, less stressful relationship with that person. 

4. Someone also different than you

Yes, someone who is different than you. The morals should be the same. But you do not have to like the same things, or have the same hobbies. It keeps things interesting right? To have a conversation around the importance of poetry in life with someone who just doesn't like it or even understand it. 

5. Someone who isn’t afraid to tell you when you're wrong

But doesn't necessarily criticize you for being wrong. Surround yourself with people who can be honest with you. Whether you're right or wrong, you need people around you who can give you a different perspective, those who can open up your mind to a different view. You’ll be surprised what you learn about yourself.

6. Someone who doesn't get offended with your truth

Because we all know someone who doesn't like to be confronted with the truth. Hey, even I get upset sometimes. But you need to be able to tell your truth to the people around you without anyone taking offence. You shouldn't attack someone's personality and then expect them to not be offended. That's not what I'm saying. But you should be able to explain your definition of right and wrong without being criticized for it, or even consider it preaching or belittling.

Be accepting of someone doing the same for you. It's only fair isn't it.

7. Someone you can have actual conversations with

Otherwise, it's a shallow friendship isn't it. If you can't hold up a deep meaningful conversation about life, existence, then how can you expect to grow with that person? How can you expect that person to grow either? If all your conversations with your friends are about other people or material things, then these aren't the kind of friends you should have.

Trust me.

You are the sum of the 5 people you spend your most time with. Did you hear that before? So be careful who you choose to spend time with. Time is the most precious thing we have, and the most precious gift we can give another person. The above are just some of the things I look for in people. These are just what I've learned are necessities in any kind of relationship. 

So make sure you're spending time with people who are good for you, and people that allow you to grow, emotionally, socially, mentally and spiritually.

It's the big day. The groom is all dressed up and ready. The bridemaids are powdering their nose before the final entrance into the big hall. You as the Maid of Honor have been ready since 2pm and making sure the entire hall is ready and set up the way the Bride wanted it to be. The bride however, starts to panic. She can't find her perfect pair of heels that she searched days and months to get. She can't find them.  She can't even see down the big puff that is her wedding dress. The bridemaids are looking everywhere but neither of them can bend up to look under the bed. You're the Maid of Honor. You can't have the Bride panic right before the celebration. What do you do??

Well to me, it's pretty obvious. Kick off those shoes, pick up your dress and bend to look under the bed, look everywhere if you have. You're the Maid of Honor! Find those perfect heels and get your bride happy again!

I've been my elder sister's Maid of Honor and it was so much fun. It was a lot of hard work, but fun! You get to go to all the fittings, tastings, shopping, make up trails, and best (and worst) of all, you'll be the one doing all the driving!

And in a city like Dubai, where traffic can get pretty bad, that required A LOT of patience!

On the big day, I was ready to roll by 2pm. The wedding was starting at 8pm. The reason I was ready so early is so that the burden of makeup and hair was done and I was ready to help with the setup of the hall. The quickest option for lunch was Burger King and so I couldn't eat because my makeup was done by the very talented Suzana Karanouh. And we all know how hard it is to have a burger when your lips are lined perfectly!

So no food for me! Not even during the buffet. Ain't nobody got time for that! I had to make sure the bride's all good. I finally got to eat at 2:30 am. So win win!

During the day, my French Manicure got chipped, my thumb stepped on, and toe bruised. I got perfume sprayed in my face, my fingers were red from trying to deal with the delicacy of the buttons on the back of the wedding dress. My dress was leaving its little trail of beads wherever I went. My makeup needed touch up at least 3 times before the celebration actually began because of how much I was running around. But I survived that wedding! And let me tell you, it was the greatest night ever and I would definitely do all of that again!

Let me give you some tips on how to survive your Bride's wedding!

1. Pinterest is your friend.

You'll find a lot there on how to be a perfect Maid of Honor. The checklists, the perfect bachelorette party, the things to do the week before, etc etc etc..I especially found this Survival Kit humorous and useful written by Stephanie Ziajka. Check my page for more.

2. Bachelorette Party!

It really is very important to take the bride out of the wedding planning fiasco and let her enjoy a night just celebrating the fact that she's getting married. A party completely planned for her and she didn't have to lift a finger to do anything. Do it for her!

3. Do your Research.

Help the bride with picking the planner, the makeup artist etc... Go to meetings, look at the different designs available. It's crazy difficult and the groom might not always be around to help her!

4. Portable Mobile Charger. Notebook. Laptop.

You will need them!! Charger because DUH, your phone will be used the most.

Notebook.. you might be wondering why, but trust me, the hall will be the most drawn thing during meetings with the planners.

Laptop... just keep it with you!

5. Be with the Bride EVERY Step of the way

Whether it's with the Wedding Planner, Hotel planner, makeup artist, hair stylist. Whether it's the 6th time you've gone to see the wedding dress for a fitting. Go. Take your keys and drive. The bride will need you.

5. Contact numbers and locations!

Of every single person involved. The DJ, the planner, the florist, I promise you if you know the location and the contact numbers, your life will be easier!

6. Always take the bride's side. Always!

I can't emphasize this enough. It's her day. If you disagree, give your opinion as soft as you possibly can but don't you ever let the bride feel alone. She's under enough stress as it is. She will need you.

And remember, it's her day. Your makeup doesn't have to be perfect. Your dress doesn't have to be the prettiest. Your focus is solely on the bride. She's the one who needs to be, look and feel perfect!

Hey everybody! So I got a lot of questions around my post on What 2300 Calories Looks Like that I decided to write to you today about some important things you should always keep in mind when trying to live a healthier life

First. Do it for you.

If you're NOT working out to make YOU better, then don't even bother doing it. Don't do it to please anyone. And definitely don't do it to prove your worth or anything else to anyone. Don't do it to show off your physique, or get people envious. Do it for you. Do it for your life. Do it for your physical and mental health.

I see it all the time where people are just focusing on showing off, and competing with everyone else. 

"I workout only 3 times last week and now I have abs. It's easy."

"I can bench press double the weight you can."

Blah. Blah. Blah. Who the hell cares? Why compete? Why show off? We're all in this together trying to get healthier to hopefully live a longer life for the family we're building, for the generation we're making! 

So please, focus on the real reason you're at the gym. That's the only thing that will keep you motivated in the end.

Second. Do it at your own pace.

I mean it. If you're doing it to show off, and you push yourself too hard, your fire will burn out quickly. Create a schedule that works for you. If you have a PT, work with them and build that workout plan. If your lifestyle changes, then change your workout routine to fit within your lifestyle. My workouts have been completely scattered ever since I started this blog. With the blog and office workload rising, it's become difficult - not impossible - but difficult to maintain the same kind of routine. So I'm figuring that out now. I know that will mean I'll probably be working out at 6-7 am sometimes but I'm okay with that. No one is forcing me to wake up when the sun rises. I'm actually willing to do that! Go figure..

The reason I'm stressing this so much is because I have gone to the gym at times where I know I wasn't focused, either too sick or tired to do a workout longer than my 10 minute warm-up. I know that about myself. So now I walk into the gym knowing how I will feel after my workout. Because I would've gone there with the mindset that I want to prove my strength to myself, not because anyone forced me to, and not because of anything I had to prove to other people.

Trust me when I say, you don't have to workout every day of the week. You don't have to see muscle definition right away. You don't have to lose fats and gain muscle right away. Take your time. Enjoy the ride as they say. As long as you're working out, that's all that matters. The results will come, don't rush it. Just do the best you can.

Third. And I feel the most important. Eat.

Please. Don't starve yourself. If there's one thing you take away from this post, please don't starve yourself. Don't just eat a plate of lettuce and call it a salad. That's not what a salad should look like. And on the other side, don't have one proper salad and then indulge since you have now become a healthy eater.

I hate when people tell me they're on diets to try to lose weight. Because - and I'm not an expert here - I think dieting is the worst way to lose the unhealthy fat in your body. The. WORST. Way. I think you should get off the couch, go to the gym or buy some weights and get started. Ditch the daily burger and fizzy drink, and get some sweet potato and chicken. At least then you can indulge and not feel like you earned the cheat meal by starving yourself the entire week!

Fourth. Don't overdo it. Indulge but be realistic. 

I for one love caramel in my coffee. The only coffee I drink is the Starbucks Venti Iced Caramel Macchiato with an extra shot of caramel and coffee. Yes, SUPER unhealthy, and I get weird looks from the baristas every time I order it, but I love it. Do I have it everyday? No chance, I'd be hyped up on sugar for weeks. So if I am craving a cup of coffee, I'm not going to deprive myself of what I prefer.

Seriously, you only live once. If you tell me you make 3 trips a day to Starbucks to get a Venti Caramel Latte then I'll tell you you have a problem and that's not healthy. But if you're doing it once every few days, go ahead and indulge. Even The Rock has cheat meals! And his are pretty crazy meals too. 

I don't know if this post even makes any sense. I'd like to end with this, getting fit and living a healthier life isn't about forced meal plans, or missing out on good food. It's not about that at all. It's about learning how far you can push your limits, learning the strength you have and enjoying the ride to getting to your end physique goal. 

It's a life-long journey. Let's enjoy it, shall we?

Hey everyone! So today, I want to share with you my love for dresses! Especially ones that make me feel feminine and confident!

We all know how hard it is to find that one dress that fits perfectly, looks great and is super comfy to stay in all day. That's a struggle I used to face all the time! But I've recently started looking for dresses in stores I wouldn't normally buy dresses from. And I was so pleasantly surprised!

The struggle is the same for heels too. Finding that pair that doesn't squish your toes is probably one of the hardest things to do. Function versus Fashion. Are you willing to sacrifice the feeling of your toes to look good in a pair of heels? Beauty is pain isn't it? Well, I'm here to tell you that you don't have to suffer! Looking good is as important as feeling good!

Let me share with you one of my favorite looks to a morning event, or a brunch you're going to!

I believe everyone should have their little WHITE dress. I think this beautiful asymmetrical floral dress is perfect for Friday brunch! It's very bright, and asymmetrical which makes it different than the other dresses. It's these small designs in the dress that made me love it! I even got this at a discounted price from the Parisian collection!

Of course, a white floral dress needs nude heels to pair it with! And these Faith nude heels are very elegant, and super comfy! So you don't have to sacrifice the feeling in your toes for beauty!

I also love matching this bright outfit with my all-time favorite Michael Kors items which all happen to be rose gold! The beautiful pair of blue-faced white stems and rose gold finish pair of sunglasses, the rose gold studded earrings and their rose gold watch.

That's my favorite look for Friday brunch!

I'm sure by now we've all heard the song by Black Eyed Peas. A remake of their "Where is the love?" made in 2003. The song is a beautiful song. I loved the song. I get goosebumps everytime the song comes on when my playlist is on shuffle. I used to think, how amazing is this song? A song made 13 years ago, made with a goal to spread love and peace. A song made to make people believe in each other again, to believe in humanity, to believe in love. To be good to each other, and to themselves. 13 years ago. More than a decade ago. A song was made to get people to open up their eyes to the cruelty, madness, drama and selfishness in this world. The deaths, racism, sexism, and inequality. How bad did the world seem back then compared to now? Must been absolute paradise compared to the cruelty we will live in today. 

It's one of the reasons I love music so much. The power these artists have in getting a message to go viral. How can anyone not feel the effect of such songs on the world? It's beautiful. It's those such rare moments that humans come together and try to combine all our differences, all that makes us unique, and create something beautiful for the greater good.

Granted, some musicians abuse the fame of their art and do not use it to promote a better self-image, or love among different races, or even love for one's self. But there are many that do, and those that do have a responsibility to all of us. And they end up making something that isn't just for their success! Do you see that? That this power is not for them, it's for us.

It's to unite us with love.

Unite a racist, sexist, hateful, selfish world and make it believe in the power of love again! A world without borders. A world of people. A world of unity.

Instead of listening and changing our behaviours, what we have is people hating on each other. Girls hating on other girls. And I say girls not women. Girls bullying others. According to Instagram stats, 24% of TEENAGE girls are bullied online. And then you look at women, grown-ass women, women that are meant to be role-models, are even more cruel and vicious in their bullying. Hating on each other acting like children who don't know any better. Women giving other women the stink eye. Women hating on the success of others.

As if it wasn't hard enough being a woman in this day and age. 

To all of the women in the world, starting with myself, let's think please. Where does hate get us? Why choose sides? Why hate on her? Why talk behind her back? Why judge her every move? If you don't understand someone's life and actions, why attack it? Where does that get us? Do we really need to make someone else feel worse about themselves just so we can feel better about our own selves? What's worse is we don't even see anything wrong with it.

So let me tell you this. Go ahead and hate on those girls. Hate on their successes, and celebrate their failures. It's called Schadenfreude. Rejoicing in someone else's misfortune. Go ahead and hate on them. But believe me, it just confirms how low your self-esteem is! Hating does nothing but reveals the weakest version of yourself. So go ahead and do that. 

Or instead, be the best version of yourself that you can be. Let's stop comparing ourselves with everyone else. Stop comparing our hair, hips and happiness with the girls around us. People are not perfect. We are not supposed to be. I am not even close to being perfect. I've experienced schadenfreude. And I'm not afraid to admit that because I now know better. I'm learning everyday, I'm making mistakes everyday and I want all of us to be happier.

Not compare ourselves, especially not to the people we see on social media. People are never who they POST to be! Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat.. all these applications are made to connect people, share ideas, share memories. Not to have this hatred and negativity spread. Or have people compete on how many followers they have, how many likes, or who has the most expensive clothes and lifestyle.

Remember that. Celebrate each other's successes, celebrate their happiness. Celebrate.

What's even worse than this stupid bullying is the people are dying because of how severe it gets. People get bullied on the internet and harassed which is leading to hurt, shame, embarrassment and sadly, death by suicide.

According to the World Health Organization, if there are 20 million attempts of suicide per year, one million of those are succeeding. 

16 out of every 100,000 people will commit suicide.

Or one suicide every 40 seconds.

Get your mind around that for a second.

A person has just taken their life while you're reading this.

2 more.

These are real statistics. Real people are dying, mothers, fathers, husbands, wives, sisters, brothers, children are taking their lives because of the depression, hatred or selfishness they've experienced. 

So I have to ask. To all those people who have followers on social media. Do the math. That means that one of your 500 followers will commit suicide, and 20 of those 500 will attempt it.

20 OUT OF 500 PEOPLE.

Depression is the biggest factor. Depression would've gotten the best of them, and the world they lived in wasn't worth the pain anymore. The sadness, bullying, racism, sexism, heartbreaks got the best of them and their life just was not worth it.

We are NOT God. We should not bully anyone. We just don't know what their struggles are. A single word or action can drive someone over the edge. Or it can restore their faith in humanity. Our words have the power to build and to destroy. How we choose to use them will dictate how someone is impacted by them. 

Choose them wisely. Be cautious of the legacy you leave on people. Do not be the reason someone loses their love for life.

I understand what's going on in the world. The pain caused by the extremist organizations is not something a single person can change. I know I can't change that. But I know I can help individuals. I know that I can help, even if it means I help only one of the 16 who die out of the 100,000. 

As long as I can remember, I've faced a problem with my weight. I've always been underweight. I've always had a problem eating right. I used to have days where I eat so much I could explode, and then have days where I barely eat one proper meal. That was incredibly bad for my health and I didn't even realize the effect. I wanted to do something about it. I wanted to be able to control my weight and not have it control me. I wanted to be able to skydive! My Body Mass Index was lower than the minimum allowed to skydive and I hated that!

So I started working out. I'm healthier, my weight is still relatively the same, but I feel stronger with more muscle mass, and I feel much more energetic. I'm eating at least 5 times a day! Ever since I started working out, my nutrition has gotten much better and I've been focusing on eating enough protein, healthy carbs and fibers in every meal. By eating right, drinking enough (which also was...and still is a big problem for me), and with the help of my great trainer, IBFF World Championship in 2014, Marko Perun, 've been able to drop my body fat percentage, and have more muscle definition. So today I want to show you the meals I have throughout the day. I'm not a nutritionist, I'm not a trainer, and I'm in no way a qualified medical expert. I'm just telling you what I've been doing, and what is working for me. 

I eat around 2300 calories per day, and that's divided across 5 meals. I mix between different protein, fat and fiber sources, but in the end, they're all the same foundation.

How my PT and I came up with this amount is by doing a Body Mass Index test. This test shows you everything you need to know about your body. What's most importance on that sheet of paper iis the Burn rate. That tells you how much you burn on a regular resting day. My burn rate is at 1700 calories. So in order to gain weight while working out with heavy weights, I need to eat at least more than 2000 calories.

Breakfast

I must have that within the first 30-45 minutes of waking up. So alarms goes off. I get ready for the day, all showered and dressed up. And head to the kitchen.

I start with having 4 eggs (1 whole egg, and 3 egg-whites only). I usually add salt and pepper powder to taste, maybe even chilli if I feel like it. I then eat 80 grams of oats, mixed with 300 mL of Greek yogurt. 

That's exactly what I need to start the day full of energy. 

Some days, I have a 100 grams of oats, with a scoop of WHEY protein. I usually use MusclePharm Cookies and Cream for this. I love it, it's definitely my favorite!

Lunch #1, #2, and Dinner #1

Yes...I have 5 meals so I get to have 2 lunches and 2 dinners. Trust me, it's hard work!

Lunch #1 is usually 3 hours after breakfast (around 12pm). You'd think I'd be full after a breakfast like the one I have, but I would be starving by 12pm.

Lunch #2 is usually 1.5 hours before my gym session (around 1-2pm). It's recommended to eat at least an hour before working out, so I try to have at least half of my second lunch before I head to the gym, which is usually at 4-5pm.

Dinner #1 is no longer than 1 hour after my gym session (around 6pm). And by then, I would be starving and inhaling my food!

Like I said before, my meals have a proper mix of carbs, proteins and fibers.

I usually have sweet potato; regular potato is not the good fats!! Avoid it as much as you can. Or I would have uncooked BROWN rice (white rice is also bad for you).

In addition to that, I would also either have chicken or beef. I use olive oil or coconut oil and 1-2 bottle caps maximum, depending on how much I'm cooking. DO NOT use sauces because they contain a lot of sugar. I only use dry spices and spice it to taste. So if you want to add some sauce, make sure you check how many grams of sugar it has. Don't add too much salt because that will drain you of all the water in your system.

I'll then add broccoli to get some greens.

Dinner #2 - My last meal

I'll end the night having my last meal around 8-9pm. This usually contains a handful of pistachios or almonds, and salmon. The reason I have this at the end of the night is to avoid feeling hungry and start snacking. It's also so I don't feel hungry during my sleep. 

Also, muscle recovery is at its peak when you're sleeping, so you need to have enough in your system so you don't go hungry. If you feel hungry, your body will start burning fats and end up burning muscle. You don't want that.

I've been on a meal plan before from a Nutritionist and it failed miserably. The nutritionist didn't understand the level of intensity my workouts were, and refused to increase my calorie intake to a proper amount as it thought it wouldn't be healthy - even though I wanted to gain. I was not getting enough food and kept waking up in the middle of the night hungry. Luckily, I had protein bars laying around that I could snack on. My performance at the gym also got worse because my body was tired due to lack of food. So I've learned the hard way that I need to take control of what I eat, and not rely on those that don't understand my goal..

I'm telling you the above because it has worked for me. My muscles have gotten stronger, more defined and my core is getting stronger. I do not feel bloated EVER, even though I'm eating 5 meals a day every single day. 

But you need to remember, I'm trying to gain weight, and I'm working out with heavy weights every day. The meal plan would be very different for those trying to lose weight, and for those on a different workout schedule than mine. 

Hit me with your questions and I'll give you the benefit of my experience!

I hope this helps!