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Being big SUCKS. That’s how I’m going to start this off. I’m not saying being big doesn’t mean you’re not beautiful- that’s not true. Being big doesn’t mean you’re weird and should be socially isolated- since that’s what a lot of people like to do because they don’t know how to be friends with a bigger person!!! Not sure how that came to be but that’s their problem. 

I grew up the bigger girl in class. I was never really into exercise. I loved softball but for some reason quit- that’s how most ‘sports’ went for me. And I’m not sure why. But it happened. I grew up not really knowing what a portion size was and why it was important. And when you’re a kid you really don’t see a difference- you’re a kid. 

Hitting middle school is when bullying hit me hard, this pushed me into a depression, a desperate need to not go to school. I started having problems, I noticed I was getting hair growth where I shouldn’t and I was confused. My doctor made fun of me (yes, a pediatrician made fun of a child)- his words “lets see how much weight you gained this time” still run through my head before I step on a scale. 

I was pushing 240s by the time I was a freshman in high school. I broke my ankle my freshman year and gained another 30. I always tried to lose weight. But, I never knew HOW to eat. I never knew WHAT to eat. I didn’t know how to exercise and honestly I was never interested in it. So, it never stuck. One time I managed to lose 30 pounds and somehow put it back on. I was devastated. 

The end of 2016 it really hit me where I was at. I had been diagnosed with PCOS, I was going through personal issues where I was depressed, and honestly I just wasn’t happy with life at all. I felt like people stared, but who wouldn’t. I was the biggest girl there. 

It’s going to sound stupid, but it took for me to completely get my heart broken to get my shit together. Should that have been my motivation to lose weight? NO. But, I stuck to it. 

1. GOOGLE

How do you know what to eat when you’ve never eaten properly? How do you plan when you have no clue how to lose weight? Losing weight comes with the misconception that you need to eat nothing and run for 2 hours a day on the treadmill. THAT’S NOT TRUE. Google healthy foods, healthy recipes, get an idea of the journey you’re about to embark on. 

2. MEAL PLANNING

I’m someone that if I don’t plan out my meal, I’ll end up binge eating. Over 80lbs later and I’m still guilty of the horrible habit. I started by cutting out snacks- the things I was binging on. How many calories I was cutting out a day was astonishing. Then I started to teach myself by what I googled what a healthy plate was, what it should consist of. I started not going back for second helpings of dinner. It’s the baby steps.

3. WATER 

It sounds cliche to say it. But DRINK. Cutting out sugary drinks can really decrease your intake. I cut out soda, iced teas, etc. It was amazing after a week how much better I felt. I didn’t feel so sick all the time. Keep yourself hydrated. I would drink a glass BEFORE, DURING, AND AFTER my meals, just to keep myself full. And it has so many other benefits as well. 

4. EXERCISE

I cannot stress this enough: FIND. SOMETHING. YOU. LOVE. It can take a while. I found that I love kickboxing. I started a few one hour classes each week. But this is a real PUSH. You HAVE to push yourself. There’s a difference between overdoing it and overpushing. If you don’t push yourself, you’ll never succeed. Mind over matter. You. Can. Do. It. 

5. SUPPORT SYSTEM/PURPOSE

I would not have been able to do it without my support system or my purpose. In the beginning I started working out to get out my frustration, soon it became because I loved the way it made me feel afterward and that I was bettering myself and my health. You need to do it for you because at the end of the day nobody else can do it for you.