eyes full of stars

Went on my first date since my surgery! I wore a dress that honestly was too big and my boobs no longer fill it out BUT he kept staring at my boobs anyways; like the whole time.

The date was not great tbh! He didn’t really carry the convo and I felt like he wasn’t listening to me for the most part (I know this because he asked a lot of questions where I had to repeat my answers to). I asked him a ton of questions and at a certain point I told myself to be brave and ask harder questions like what are you looking for? Family? Kids? Work life balance? (Yeah idk these are tougher questions for me to ask lol).

The big thing was at a certain point, while I was talking, he started walking really close to me and then suddenly put his arm around me! I literally was like what the fuck!! In my head. For a moment I thought of letting it happen since this is what couples are supposed to do but I decided not and told him sorry I’m not ready yet. Which is true! I don’t know you man!! You’re a stranger and also quite uncomfortable to be walking and you having your arm around me! It’s weird???? Idk maybe men do repulse me and I am in fact aromatic asexual? Idk I wish I was a physical touch person; I hate that I am this way!! But this guy didn’t make me feel comfortable for me to open up in this way. I think I need to be comfortable with you before I can let you in my space.

Also he doesn’t know what burn out is. He says his job really isn’t that hard and he can’t comprehend what it’s like to hate your job or feel pressure about it. Like damn that must be so nice. SWE really live a different existence.

Also says his computer is his wife; he wakes up and looks at the computer and before he goes to bed he does computer stuff (calls it “my experiments” aka ai agents he tells to do stuff for him). And yes hearing the ai bullshit sucks (and his political stance is questionable!)

I do feel misled by his profile because 3 of 3 things I was interested in him for, he doesn’t actually do??? He had a surfing pic and I asked him about it and he’s like actually I don’t really want to do that; just once or twice. He talked about biking a ton but turns out he just likes running and doesn’t really bike. I liked that he isn’t religious but then he starts saying he’s half Jewish and likes learning more about that region with some undertones there that I know we won’t agree with. I thought he was cute, YES IM SORRY IM JUDGEY, but I did not like his fashion sense and his skinny jeans was much too skinny.