you are my pain, divine, divine

From somewhere else far in the city, 감시자 (Gamsija or The Watcher) snorted into the earpiece, "Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta go walk Pebbles and have dinner with your girlfriend on her balcony. Busy man you are."

"Shut up." Jeongguk grumbled as he shoved his gloves into a compartment behind his seat and swung a leg off his bike as he stepped off, “She’s not my girlfriend anymore.” He continued, hands on the handles of the bike and pivoting it while he deployed the kickstand. 

"No?"

"No."

The Watcher hummed right into the earpiece then out came a snap of laughter, "Yeah. Suuuuuure. Okay." He sighed out dreamily and Jeongguk heard him shuffling papers around before he continued, “Those home cooked meals I see you inhaling could say otherwise.” And right on queue, the rustling of a bag could be heard opening from the other end of the feed, “I’d kill for a warm meal.” The Watcher crunched into his mic with his mouth full. 

Jeongguk didn't even bother denying what The Watcher said. There wasn’t any use in lying when the eyes of Haegeum saw everything anyways. He could have come up with a remark. Using his sharp tongue to quip back an insult but in reality, he was just not in the mood today for jokes. Instead, he started to make his way to the art gallery’s entrance. Eyes catching his reflection moving through the large windows of the building. 

There was something inherently menacing about the way Jeongguk carried himself. With his head held high. Stride unhurried. Just… Terrifyingly sexy. 

Being large and in charge was one thing but the way he looked was another. His appearance resembled the ghosts the underworld spoke of in hushed voices. A specter woven into the city's underbelly. Seen only by those unlucky enough to cross his path. 

The quiet through his earpiece lasted for about twenty seconds before he heard the sputter of static again and then that annoying, grating voice came through, "Sooo... you and Shadow good again? Back together maybe? Finally? Hopefully?"

Jeongguk exhaled through his nose sharply and didn’t answer. He didn’t even acknowledge the questions. He did a good job with ignoring the annoying little voice coming through his earpiece. Mostly because Gwishin and Gamsija had been working together for well over a decade. Their brotherhood and friendship stretched far beyond just work and quite frankly, Jeongguk had grown used to having that voice rambling in his ear. So, he did what he knew best. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. And hope The Watcher would give up. 

He pushed open the gallery doors and stepped inside into cool air and muted light. The hush of meticulous silence swallowed the street noise behind him. Dulling the bustle of the city life completely. 

The earlier question was left hanging in his earpiece like a thread he refused to touch because Jeongguk couldn't call anything the two of you were doing getting back together per se since that would imply the two of you had never truly been broken up in the first place. 

But ever since the night he was ordered to walk Mrs. Grey’s dog, he somehow ended up coming back to your place and staying for dinner afterwards. Then he found himself back there almost every evening since. Sometimes for a meal. Sometimes for a drink. Sometimes just to sit outside on your balcony in comfortable silence while the city buzzed beneath you both. All under the guise that he had to walk a damn dog. 

He never spent the night. Never overstepped any imaginary boundary between the two of you either. Jeongguk knew better than that. He had never been the type to reach for things he knew he shouldn’t have... No matter how badly he wanted them. 

And with you, he was always careful. Careful with his words. With his hands. With the way his eyes hung onto you when you weren’t looking. He never asked for more than what you gave him. Never tried to turn an evening into morning. Or a quiet visit into something more. 

There were no conversations about labels. There were no promises. There was simply an unspoken understanding that, when the day was over, Jeongguk knew exactly where he wanted to be. It felt... good. Different. But good. 

"I take your silence as confirmation." Came that voice through his ear again. 

Jeongguk again offered no response. He simply kept walking. His gaze stayed fixed ahead as he continued down a corridor. The earpiece remained quiet for a moment, the voice on the other end apparently accustomed to his lack of response.

Silence had always been easier. People filled silence with whatever they wanted to believe and Jeongguk had long since learned there was power in letting them decide. And the voice in his ear piece never pressed him for more. The Watcher simply accepted the absence of an answer for exactly what it was meant to be.

"I'm just saying…" The Watcher continued, "I know everything. There's a reason they call me what they do."

Jeongguk sighed under his breath, "You don't know everything."

"I know enough. I know that you parked outside the gallery on the corner near a run down hardware store. Between a blue shitbox and a stop sign. I know you already got three security guards inside. One’s pretending to read a brochure by the east entrance. Aaaand I know you're exactly thirteen minutes ahead of schedule."

The Watcher had earned his nickname for a reason. If Haegeum needed to know something, their eyes already did. The Haegeum Network stretched across the city the same way veins pulsed beneath skin. Information flowed to The Watcher before most people even realized it existed.

Unfortunately, the gift came attached to a man whose voice always grated Jeongguk’s ears. He never knew how to shut up. Never knew boundaries and certainly did not care that he pushed past the point of professionalism when it came to Jeongguk. Or any of the other Haegeum members for that matter. 

He had a voice that drifted through the earpiece like a siren's song. Smooth enough to make anyone listen. And sharp enough like the tongue of a viper carrying venom. 

And aside from all of the one sided yapping, The Watcher wasn’t someone to mess with. He had the skills of a mad scientist when it came to using technology. And the face of an absolute angel. With long blonde hair. Full lips. A cute crooked front tooth. And rosy cheeks to match. Jeongguk often wondered why he didn’t pursue the career of being anything fucking else rather than joining The Network. But alas, there was never a reason to join Haegeum. You were simply born into it. 

"You ever think about talking less?" Jeongguk snapped. 

"Never.”

Jeongguk's jaw tightened and flexed before he grunted out, "Don't ask me about her."

That answer was enough. But not enough to shut The Watcher up completely. A knowing grin spread across The Watcher’s face despite Jeongguk being miles away and then another question came through the feed of his earpiece, 

"Does she know you're here?"

"No."

"Gonna join her lecture again?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

Jeongguk's eyes narrowed behind his sunglasses. Across the hall, the man he had been waiting on finally emerged from the gallery's side entrance, speaking into his phone as he headed toward the main hall.

The mission had started.

"Gotta go."

The line went dead before The Watcher could squeeze in another question. He laughed to himself anyway. Jeongguk had answered "no" a little too quickly both times. That usually meant the answer wasn't nearly as simple as he wanted it to be.

Jeongguk adjusted his sunglasses as he moved forward, expression stoic. The lenses over his eyes darkened as they activated from The Watcher’s side. A faint pulse syncing immediately with the feed so that The Watcher could see everything through Jeongguk’s  eyes. 

The world shifted and then his sight doubled. Mirrored through The Watcher’s system somewhere across the city. And inside the earpiece after another three whole seconds of silence came a slow, appreciative hum followed by a “…Damn.”

“Can you see properly?” Jeongguk asked with a flat voice. 

“Ohhh yeahhhhh. Crystal.” Watcher replied, distracted for a second by Jeongguk’s reflection in a mirror hanging along the gallery’s wall, “Got your feed. Got the whole gallery. Even got your target breathing too loudly on your six.” Then Watcher added because he simply couldn’t help himself, “But seriously? How are you that built?”

Jeongguk finally tilted his head slightly, adjusting his jacket as he stepped closer to the reception’s desk, “Man, can you shut up and focus?”

“Oh, I am focusing.” Watcher said immediately. His voice sounding offended on principle, “I’m focusing on the fact you look like you’ve gone full borg.”

Jeongguk clicked his tongue, “Stop playin’ games.” He spat. Behind his sunglasses, his reflection shimmered faintly through the mirror in front of him and his lips twitched just a smidge. Full borg. What a nerd. He let out a disgruntled sigh and then said, “Just keep your eyes on the damn building.” 

Gamsija laughed softly, still watching him through every available angle of the city before he hummed out, “Boss, I am the fucking building.” He shrilled with laughter, his voice sliding back into that effortless Watcher cadence, “I am the eyes of this city.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Jeongguk grumbled. Eyes on the array of priceless art pieces hanging along the walls of the gallery with a look of distaste spread across the canvas of art that was his own face. 

Jeongguk fucking hated art. He hated the silence. Hated the beige walls. And he truly hated the pretentious little plaques beside every painting that somehow took two hundred and fifty words to explain what could have been summed up in three simple words, it's fuckin’ trash.

And he especially hated art galleries. Which was unfortunate because he had been coming to this one every Wednesday and Friday for the past six weeks.

He looked completely out of place here yet he managed to blend in seamlessly with the crowds at the same time. With his black combat boots thundering against the polished floors. Tight black jeans showing off muscular thighs. A fitted black t-shirt glued to his abdomen and making every ridge and dip of muscle show. Worn beneath a sleek leather jacket that had seen more nights than mornings. Dark sunglasses resting on the bridge of his nose despite the gallery being flooded with natural light. He hardly took the sunglasses off. Never indoors. Certainly not outdoors. Not in meetings. And not even when the sky was fucking grey. 

And of course, on his face the Gwishin wore a frown. A very deep frown that almost looked like a scowl. A resting bitch face if you wanted to call it that. 

He always looked unimpressed. Unchanging. Bored. But Jeongguk was far from that. What looked like an unbothered exterior had thousands of thoughts running through his head. Mapping out exits. Security. You know the drill. 

See, people noticed Jeongguk no matter what but no one really ever struck up a conversation with him unless they had a death wish. Except for the pretty receptionist sitting at the front desk Jeongguk was walking up to. The one that always straightened her spine to push her gigantic boobs up higher and smiled with those dark red lips a little wider every single time she saw him, 

"Back again, Mr… Joonam Kim?" She smiled brightly, teetering on the edge of her seat to get a better look of him as he walked up to the counter. 

Yes, the name he used every Wednesday and Friday for the past month was Mr. Joonam Kim. Like hell he was going to walk around telling people his real name. He had his fellow Haegeum members to use for that. He knew his teammate wouldn’t mind the play on his name. It was all part of the fun of the job. Whatever fun meant to Jeongguk anyway. 

His mouth barely twitched hearing the name. While the voice in his earpiece barked out a laugh right in his ear that almost made Jeongguk cut the line entirely. He let the pause between him and the receptionist stretch just long enough to make her feel uncomfortable. 

The silence was long enough for her to wonder if she had gotten his name wrong. He stared at the receptionist through the tint of his sunglasses. Watching the way she squirmed almost uncomfortably or maybe hornily under his hidden gaze. Then he gave her a lazy, “Mmm.” in response with a smooth, uninterested nod. 

Joonam Kim was a mask. An easy one. An easy name that no one asked questions about. And a forgettable name that no one remembered after. But today wasn’t even a Joonam day. 

Today had a target in mind. Today had a goal. Today was work. 

And how much of a coincidence was it that his work for the last six weeks started at the place you were the director and main lecturer of? The world was smaller than Jeongguk thought, wasn’t it. 

He adjusted his sunglasses slightly out of habit. A movement that hid the way his eyes were already tracking the room beyond the receptionist’s shoulders before speaking again, “I’m here for lecture four.” He added casually, already turning away before she could respond.

“No problem, Mr. Kim! Down the hall and to your left. Exhibition room number seven. The lecture starts in six minutes.” She chirped with a smile, clearly pleased he was still within conversational reach.

The unsuspecting receptionist thought he was one of your regulars. A man who had developed an unexpected appreciation for art after listening to one of your lectures. The rest of the staff that saw him twice a week thought the same. 

Nobody questioned why the tattooed man dressed entirely in black wandered the exhibitions and joined your lectures on those specific days before quietly slipping out the exit doors like he was never there.

Nobody questioned why he never spoke. Never took notes. Never looked at the art work you were discussing for more than a few seconds. The truth was simple. Jeongguk couldn't tell a fucking soul the difference between any kind of art if someone strapped a bomb to his chest and asked him to.

If you tested people on every lecture you had ever given, Jeongguk would fail miserably. On purpose. And that was simply because the only masterpiece Jeongguk ever been truly interested in… was you. That was just the easy fucking truth. 

Jeongguk didn’t answer the receptionist. Instead, he turned and made his way down the hall to the left without another word just as directed. He knew where the lecture was being held anyways. But he had to play the part. 

And as he entered through the gallery doors, a gush of wind followed behind him. Making the trail of his scent follow behind him. Leaving the air smelling like wood, motor oil and leather. Inside the lecture hall revealed yeah, more boring ass white walls. More boring art. And best of all, silence mimicking sophistication. His favourite. That was sarcasm. 

“Knew you would join the lecture.” Came The Watcher’s voice with a snicker.  

“If you say one more thing, I’m gonna shove an ice pick through those eyes.” Jeongguk grunted, “Real slow.” 

The call went silent at once and Jeongguk’s shoulders eased instantly and he rolled his muscles back then stretched his neck. He strolled through the lecture room like he didn’t care to be there. Why the fuck should he pretend about that part? It didn’t matter anyway. His elusiveness just made it easier for him to blend in although his appearance could say otherwise. People simply thought he was a lover of art. Perhaps a curator. Or maybe a buyer with a fat wallet. 

And as he moved, his steps didn’t stray when he briefly passed the art showcasing the walls. He pretended to seem interested. A hand under his chin. Nodding in thought as though the century old paintings on the walls gave him some sort of outward perspective of the new world. He pretended to know whatever the hell Cubeism was as he passed by the next display. From behind his glasses, his eyes rolled. Deeply. 

Every step he took was made with precision. Careful calculation. He was so good at faking interest that the thought of becoming an actor as a side gig made his pierced lips twitch considerably. He almost laughed at his own joke. See? He could be funny. 

Jeongguk was in his element. Moving with perfect ease because today, he actually wasn’t even “Joonam Kim.”

Today, he was… A curator’s clipboard brushed past his elbow and interrupted the thought, “Sorry! Oh~! Mister–” The woman said quickly, glancing up at him.

Jeongguk tilted his head slightly. It was the smallest polite gesture he could manage. And without hesitation he answered with a different name entirely, “Jinseok Kim.” The words were clean. Busan accent hidden. No strain. As though the name always belonged to him. Even though the name belonged to yet another one of his men. Sorry not sorry. 

Names were never real to The Haegeum Network. 

At least not in the way people meant them.

Names were tools. Temporary labels stitched onto moving bodies so the world had something comfortable to call them before it forgot them all over again. “Joonam Kim. Jinseok Kim.” And four others before that. Each name was clean. Each one unremarkable. Carefully built and just as carefully erased. 

Nothing about Haegeum was allowed to stick to outsiders. There could be no trace. No pattern. No repetition that could linger in a person’s brain before the thought could form. The names weren’t just aliases… they were dead ends.

The names were backstories that existed only long enough to pass a glance. I.Ds that wouldn’t survive a second verification. Credit histories that dissolved the moment someone tried to dig too deep. Paper trails that looped back to nothing. Digital footprints that scattered into contradictions the second they were followed.

Those false identities didn’t just hide Haegeum. They simply never existed outside the Network itself. That was the point. They didn’t use fake names the way others did. They rotated through them like revolving doors. One closing just as the next opened. All so that if someone thought they had found a pattern, they were already wrong by the time they noticed it.

And Gwishin himself and the rest of his members stayed untouched at the center of it all. In Haegeum’s world, being remembered was just another way of being tracked. And they had no intention of ever being found.

He gave a faint hum in response to the curator and just like that, Jinseok faded into nothingness. He made his way to the empty back row of the lecture room. Exactly how he liked it. It was an old habit that couldn’t seem to die. 

From the back of the room, much like at The Seven Devils, Jeongguk could see every entrance and exit. Every face that walked into the room. From where he sat with his back pressed into the wooden chair he took a seat on, nobody could surprise him. Nobody could get behind him. 

Years serving Haegeum had turned paranoia into instinct and it was a habit he didn't even think about anymore. He chose the seat because it gave him the best line of sight. His sunglasses stayed on. His leather jacket never came off. And a pair of strong arms folded across his wide chest while one ankle lifted to rest over the opposite knee. 

He watched as the room slowly filled around him. Noticing a few familiar faces of people who never missed one of your lectures.

Soon enough the chatter softened. Then stopped. The doors opened one final time. And then you walked in. That was the only part of the day where Jeongguk’s resolve cracked slightly because suddenly, sitting through an hour of an art discussion didn't seem so unbearable after all.

His expression didn’t change. He still looked like another attendee waiting for the lecture to begin. Only Gwishin knew better. He wasn't here for the paintings. Or the lecture. Or even you. Not officially at least.

Jeongguk was here for the man that sat four rows ahead to his right. Dressed in a black suit. Gold watch on his wrist. Wedding band. Late forties. Handsome. Expensive. The sort of face that disappeared into a crowd by design.

His next target.

Jeongguk had memorized him months ago. His name. His routine. He had memorized the way the man always checked the calendar on his phone before putting it on silent. The way he favored his lower back when he sat down. He memorized the fancy car he drove. The way he always seemed to park right at the front of the gallery as if he owned it. The way the faint scar at the corner of his lower lip raised each time he smirked.

To anyone else, the man was just another attendee. But to Jeongguk? He was work. 

A tattooed hand rubbed over his jaw as his gaze drifted over the room without ever settling too long on any one person. He noted the exits to his left and right. His target. The large bay window behind the front of the speaker’s podium. His target. The security cameras in the four corners of the room. His target. The fire escape doors all the way in the back. His target.

It was a rhythm. A dance. A habit. A life.

Throughout the gallery, life kept breathing. But in front of Ghost, the hunt had already begun.

The target never noticed him because Jeongguk simply looked like another man sitting through an art lecture the same reason why everyone else in the room did. He was invisible. Patient. Haunting. 

When you walked up to the speaker’s podium you smiled at your audience as though this was just another afternoon. And that’s when Jeongguk's attention slipped yet again. 

It was only for a second. But it slipped long enough to watch you set your binder full of notes onto the podium and then tuck a strand of loose hair behind your ear. The sharp eyes behind tinted sunglasses tracked your silhouette as you moved. His jaw flexed as his gaze drifted to the form fitting black dress stopping at your knees. Black blazer buttoned at the front. Black kitten heels. Sleek framed glasses perched on your nose. Hair pulled back in a neat knot at the back of your nape. 

Professional. Fucking sexy. 

Jeongguk caught himself immediately. He silently dared The Watcher to even utter a comment and luckily, nothing came through his earpiece. He refocused on the man in the black suit next. Eyes narrowing. Arms crossing. Knee bouncing rhythmically. Jaw flexing. 

Work first. Always.

Even if the only person capable of distracting Gwishin had just walked into the room.

"Good afternoon, everyone." Your voice carried effortlessly through the lecture hall. The kind of voice that made people want to listen. The audience settled and the man in the suit crossed one leg over the other while he leaned back in his chair.

Jeongguk noticed the man’s intrigue on you faster than anything else. His eyes stayed on the back of his head. His target’s posture was relaxed and comfortable. Absolutely no awareness of his surroundings while The Ghost already clocked three escape routes the man would likely take if something happened.

The target had no idea he had been profiled before you had even introduced yourself.

You began speaking about the exhibition with the same enthusiasm you always did. Moving across the room with ease. Hands painting invisible pictures in the air as you spoke. People smiled. Some laughed. Others took notes. Jeongguk, on the other hand, tried not to yawn. 

Even the target seemed interested in what you were talking about. But Jeongguk wasn't. His attention drifted between your voice and the man rows ahead. And every few minutes, the target checked his watch. Then he glanced toward the emergency exit. Finally, he discreetly texted someone with his phone between his legs. 

Jeongguk filed each detail away. Then the man's phone vibrated again but this time, instead of reading the message, he looked up. He wasn’t looking at the painting behind you. Or at the presentation. He was looking at you. And his ogling strayed for a bit too long. Long enough for Jeongguk to notice. And long enough for the muscles in his jaw to tighten considerably. The target wasn't listening anymore. He was watching you.

Jeongguk's thumb brushed over the hidden lining of his leather jacket instinctively. Tattooed fingers running over where the weight of a pocket pistol sat. He didn't reach for the weapon. Didn't move. He simply watched the man because Haegeum had sent him here to study a target. Not to conduct business. Not to intervene.

However as the man continued staring at you instead of paying attention to the lecture, Jeongguk felt something murderous settle beneath the center of his chest. Was the staring professional curiosity? Personal interest? Or maybe both.

Either way… The lecture had just become a lot more interesting.

And as it dragged on, Jeongguk’s eyes never failed to leave the man’s profile. From what he gathered from his late nights of studying his targets at The Seven Devils, the man was a philanthropist according to every magazine that loved printing his face. He was a collector according to the museums that gladly accepted his money too. A generous patron of the arts if you will.

Haegeum knew a different man. This man was a broker. The kind who never got his own hands dirty. He bought and sold more than paintings. He bought information. Influence. People. Entire lives were negotiated over expensive alcohol and hushed conversations. He had spent decades hiding behind his fancy tailored suits and museum donations. Convincing the world he was preserving history.

But in reality, he was building an empire with blood money disguised as culture. Which was exactly why The Haegeum Network wanted him gone. It wasn’t going to happen today. Surely not in the gallery either. Today wasn't an execution. It was simply surveillance. Learning patterns and habits. Finding weaknesses.

Jeongguk wasn't here to kill the man. He was just here to learn how he lived because once Gwishin knew how a man lived, he already knew how he would die. It was just a matter of time. And the Ghost had plenty of that. 

The lecture finally dissolved into the rhythm of an ending. Guests stood and drifted between the galleries in slow moving clusters. Some stopped to revisit paintings that had taken on new meaning after your talk. Questions hung in the air. Conversations overlapped. And the quiet museum transformed into a gentle hum of footsteps, laughter and thoughtful discussion.

You stayed near the front of the podium long after the lecture had ended. Answering every question with patience. Smiling for every guest who stopped to thank you and carrying yourself with the same effortless professionalism that had held the room's attention from the moment you began.

That was when the target made his move.

You didn't notice him at first. Why would you? There was a good hundred people attending the lecture alone. Nevertheless, he blended seamlessly into the handful of guests still waiting to speak with you. Offering a compliment about the lecture before asking a thoughtful question about an upcoming exhibition. And by the time the conversation drifted from your work to whether you would let him take you lunch today, he had already stepped comfortably into your space. Just a little too comfortably.

“You’re even more impressive in person.” The target complimented you, his voice lowering slightly, “I’d love to take you out to lunch. Somewhere quieter. I think you would be even more interesting outside all this… noise.” He waved with his hands. 

Jeongguk was close enough to hear it all and somewhere in the middle of the conversation, he began to move too. It wasn’t abrupt. And not in a way that drew attention. He simply stepped away from the wall and threaded through the thinning crowd with an unhurried pace. His presence invisible by the movement of everyone else. Until he wasn't. Until he passed behind you. Close enough that the space around you seemed to narrow.

The faint scent of leather drifted by. Followed by a warmth that strayed for only a heartbeat before continuing on. It wasn't a touch but your body reacted anyway. And your words caught for the briefest moment. A strange sense of awareness washed over you. It was impossible to explain and it felt as though a ghost had just touched you.

By the time you glanced over your shoulder, there was nothing to see except another guest disappearing into the crowd. Strange… it felt like… You shook your head, eyes glancing down at the binder against your chest, scanning through the list of attendees. No Jeongguk. Of course not. He would rather die than be here. Still, you could feel his presence crawling through you even as you tried to shake it off. 

Jeongguk didn’t look back but he heard your voice faint through the noise. Talking about lunch options with the target. You were so polite and unaware, wrapped up in an ease that didn’t match the tension he had just stepped through.

He adjusted his pace, already recalculating his next moves in his mind then he exited the hall without hesitation. Outside of the lecture hall where the glass walls of the gallery reflected the city back at him, he disappeared again, only this time circling around a hall to head straight toward your office upstairs.

He slipped past a pair of security guards in the middle of a conversation. His shoulders brushing one of them just enough to be mistaken for a passing guest. None of them reacted. No one ever did until it was too late anyway. 

Jeongguk made his way to a side door marked STAFF ONLY that sat partly hidden behind a display. He twisted the doorknob and hummed to himself as it unlocked. Too easy. He pushed through it and let the gallery die behind him as he entered into a cold, empty stairwell. 

And next, he was moving. Up a flight of stairs. Two and three steps at a time like always. Combat boots striking hard against metal edges. His breath steady. The kind of movement that looked reckless but wasn’t because it was Jeongguk. 

In his ear, The Watcher’s voice returned quickly, “So lunch, huh? He really wants to die.”

Jeongguk didn’t slow. His hand gripped over the stairwell rail tight as he climbed the next flight, “Fuck off.” He muttered, “It’s nothing.” He huffed, “Just lunch.” 

The Watcher hummed into his ear, “Your heart rate’s climbing.” He added, “Blood pressure’s rising to one thirty over ninety. You sure it’s nothing?” The Watcher snickered, “Better take a breath before you pop a blood vessel.” 

Jeongguk took another flight two at a time. His hand grazing the railing just long enough to pivot faster, “You’re about to be out of a fucking job.” He huffed as he reached the floor where your office was. He quickly punched in the code to enter. 4 simple numbers. Yours and his anniversary date. It was easy enough to guess without needing The Watcher to tell him and he wasn’t even slightly surprised that you never changed it either. 

Your office was eerily quiet. It felt wrong to be in there. But not wrong enough to Jeongguk since he closed the door behind him easily and made his way over to your desk as though he had done this dance far too many times for it to be a new routine. 

He took a seat at your desk and scanned the room. He had been in here for other reasons before. Reasons you didn’t need to know about. The atmosphere was still the same. Boring. Plain. Professional. But the scent in the air was unmistakably you. It was like you spritzed your perfume in there before leaving. Jeongguk inhaled deeply. Letting the scent fill his lungs. He allowed himself those few moments to wrap himself in the sweet floral and vanilla scent that was you and then he was working. 

Quick fingers were moving over your computer’s keyboard with efficient intrusion at once. Files opened and closed. Eyes scanning over any kind of new information that could give shape to the man who had been standing too close to you just a few minutes ago.

“This just got personal, didn’t it.” Said The Watcher through the earpiece and Jeongguk cursed him with a whisper while he scrolled through a file sheet filled with donation reports. 

“Work isn’t personal.” Jeongguk mumbled although his blood boiled as the image of the man approaching you played in his mind, “I never mix work with my personal life.” He said as he clicked over a document and opened up another file. 

The cursor hovered over the target’s name and Jeongguk highlighted the cell, eyes following the grid to the end where it showed the amount of money the man had donated to the gallery this year alone. It was all blood money under the guise of donations. The target was laundering cash into your gallery and you had no fucking idea. 

At first, it was only work. It always started that way. But the man just couldn’t help himself, couldn’t he. Jeongguk didn’t need to be a fucking genius to know the intentions his target had. 

Maybe the man asked you to lunch because he wanted to increase his donations. Maybe he wanted to fuck you. Jeongguk didn’t know or care. Either way, the man had to die so whether he flirted with you or not didn’t matter to him. It only made the thought of ending his life settle deeper into Jeongguk’s soul. The only thing that made him grit his teeth the most was that he just had to let it all fucking happen because he couldn’t unleash himself upon the man… yet. 

The screen of your computer blinked at Jeongguk and he leaned back in the chair he had been sitting in. Exhaling through his nose and tilting his head to the side as he cracked his neck. 

The Watcher’s voice hummed through his earpiece as casual as ever, “Yum. Peach iced tea… with a lemon wedge.” He noted, “Good choice.” He mused and Jeongguk could hear the click of his keyboard under fast fingertips, “Check outside the window on your west.” 

Jeongguk was still staring at the computer screen but his attention was already elsewhere long before The Watcher had said anything. He stood up at once and the chair scraped across the floor. Echoing through the silence of the office as though the sound marked every single one of his twisted decisions. 

He crossed the room without hurry. His footsteps quiet against the floor as he stopped by the window. Below the gallery and across the street, a posh upscale restaurant sat in full view. And you were there on the patio. Under the sun and in perfect view for Jeongguk to survey you with his unfortunate target. 

The Watcher’s voice continued in his ear as amused as ever, “A bit too early to be drinking wine for our target, isn’t it? ” He said, “Although I guess it might be five o'clock somewhere…” He trailed off, “He’s not really drinking it. More just holding the glass like it’ll make him look more interesting.” He snorted, “Loser.” 

Jeongguk’s gaze didn’t move. He watched from above. Barely making out your hand lifting your drink to your lips slightly as you spoke. His eyes strayed to the side, noticing the way the sunlight drifting in through the brushes of the trees lining the patio caught the colour of your hair and the side of your face before falling away again, “Keep watching and see if you can dial in to listen.” He instructed The Watcher. 

“On it, boss.” 

He watched the man with intensity. Surveying the scene as far as his eyes could see. He saw the grey specks of hair from his target and the way his body leaned in towards you more than necessary. Close enough that Jeongguk didn’t even need audio to know what was being said.

The Watcher provided it anyway, “Wow.” He commented dryly, “Yeah, so he just made it personal.” 

Jeongguk didn’t ask what was said. He didn’t need to know. 

The details weren’t the point anymore. 

Only the direction things were heading mattered. 

Dark eyes stayed locked on the space between you and the target then narrowed at the distance dwindling between the two of you. He observed the close comfort between two strangers that didn’t belong there. The assumption that nothing would interrupt it. He exhaled to himself, “Keep the feed on them.” He commanded without looking away from the window.

Jeongguk watched you both for a moment longer while measuring everything in silence. The office behind him faded from relevance entirely. Everything warped together into two bold points across the street. You. The target. 

The Watcher’s voice cut in through the earpiece quietly, “Just remember,” He hummed, “Nothing happens before 봉인 (Bongin or The Seal) says it does.” He continued, his voice firm as though he was trying to stop Jeongguk from doing anything rash before it was time, “Gwishin doesn’t decide the moment. He waits for it.”

“I am waiting.” Jeongguk snapped as his stare sharpened through the glass anyway. He was patient. He had to be. His restraint was held together by his discipline alone. That didn’t mean the thought of how fast he could snipe his target right from where he stood didn’t cross his mind one or two times already, “It’s not a chase.” He stepped back from the window and turned towards the desk, “Just timing.”

The Watcher went quiet because whatever this was, it was already over in Jeongguk’s head.

“Get out of there soon.” The Watcher mumbled, “Unless you want her to come catch you. If that’s the case, kindly cut the line because I don’t want to see anything I haven’t already–” 

He huffed with annoyance although it might even have been amusement because yes, there had been a time where The Watcher had dialed into Jeongguk’s surveillance feed without warning and had seen some very… suggestive things. Not that it was Jeongguk’s fault. The Watcher learned his lesson very quickly after that time anyways. 

“Say less.” Jeongguk mumbled quickly and two fingers came up to the side of the sunglass frame. He brushed the discreet contact point near the temple of his sunglasses and the connection died instantly. The frames of his sunglasses flickered once and then Jeongguk’s view collapsed into static before finally fading into a normal tint. 

He didn’t go back to the window after that. Instead, Jeongguk stayed at your desk. The files on your computer were already closed. The intel he needed stopped being useful. He had no other reason to be in your office but something about being in a space that belonged to you made it hard for him to just up and walk away. 

And so, he browsed through your computer as he sat there. Maybe he was buying time. Who knows. His subconscious made him sit there because he knew deep down after lunch, you would make your way up to your office to work on admin things for the rest of the day. Much like you always did. 

What you would think if you walked into your office and saw him there didn’t cross Jeongguk’s mind yet. Or perhaps the decision to wait in your office was already there before he even entered and he simply didn’t give a damn either. 

He found it hard to move. And even harder to look away from your screen when he scrolled across a certain app that looked like your dating profile. Curiosity got the best of him and he opened it up, tongue poking into the side of his cheek with thought as he read the ‘about me’ section of the page. 

“Looking for something real.”  

Jeongguk rolled his eyes as he read the line. Something real. He huffed with irritation and continued to scroll. 

The mouse cursor hovered over your profile pictures and he instantly clicked on the option to open them because if he were already here looking, he might as well investigate everything else while he was at it, right? 

That was a justifiable excuse for invading your privacy, wasn’t it? 

The photos were simple enough. Candid. Some off guard. Some selfies. Pretty ones. Pictures that reflected a life lived with adventure and happiness. A life he once shared with you. 

“Why are you doing this?” He muttered to the empty room as he scrolled over to your newest matches and their messages. He opened every single conversation. Even the ones you hadn’t read yet. He didn’t give a fuck. Knowing that this profile would soon cease to exist in about five minutes anyway. Boring. Boring. Weird. More boring. He judged the conversations as he snorted to himself. 

Men tried way too fucking hard. There was no need to be doing all that on a dating app. Especially when it looked like these conversations with you weren’t going anywhere. It was almost as though you entertained them with a certain intention but halfway through realized they weren’t worth your time. Or perhaps realized these chuds weren’t who you wanted. 

With a shrug, Jeongguk moved the mouse cursor over to the corner of the screen where the privacy options for the application were. He hovered over the button to delete the account but he didn’t do it on his own because that would be too obvious. Instead, he reached for a phone in his back pocket and took it out, choosing a contact from his screen and pressing the phone to his ear. 

There was one ring and a voice on the other end answered instantly. Then came Jeongguk’s voice in that same flat, disinterested tone, “Delete the account.” He mumbled into the phone, “Shut the fucking server down if you can too.” He added with a shrug. 

No other words were exchanged. And on the other end of the call, there was only a quiet acknowledgement and then the line disconnected abruptly. 

Jeongguk set the phone down and tilted his head back slightly, arms crossed over his chest with his eyes still on the screen to watch it all happen in real time. Some force from within the city took over the screen where he had left it behind and he watched as the screen stuttered for a moment before a series of codes filled the page. Layer by layer, the application and its function stopped existing entirely.

He knew having your dating profile and the entire application deleted wouldn’t resolve anything. If anything, it was proof of just how irrational he had become. He knew that. Accepted it, even. Yet somewhere along the way, his definition of reasonable had stopped resembling everyone else’s. In his mind, there had never been a world that existed where you belonged on a dating app. Not after him anyway. You didn’t need to be on those things when you had him. 

The logic was impossible. Contradictory. And entirely his own. In Jeongguk’s fucked up head it fit together with perfect clarity. You would never understand it. You would call him obsessive. Possessive. Fucking unhinged. And you would be absolutely right about it all. 

Jeongguk found he didn't particularly care though.

You could even call him insane. It changed nothing.

His sunglasses sat on top of your desk now. So did the earpiece. And Jeongguk’s gaze drifted over the space of your office now that his work was over. There was nothing personal in the space that anyone else would notice. Your office was a place built for work, not memory. There were files stacked neatly. Your computer was left idle. Everything intentional in its emptiness.

Except for the desk behind your chair.

When Jeongguk turned around, his eyes caught it immediately. There was a framed photo turned face-down. The edges of the frame were slightly dulled by dust that had started to settle into the corners. As though it hadn’t been touched in a long time. And as though it had been put there once and then abandoned in that position. As though you had decided it should no longer be seen but still deserved to remain in that space. 

Jeongguk knew what the photo was of. It was taken a long time ago. With you sitting behind him on his bike, arms loosely around his waist. His head turned just enough in the shot to catch the edge of a smile he probably didn’t realize he was wearing. Your face half-hidden against his shoulder and your hair caught in the wind.

He still had the same picture and kept it somewhere he didn’t pretend not to know about. 

The difference was that his wasn’t turned face-down.

Jeongguk’s eyes remained on the frame for a second longer. His expression disappeared as quickly as it had surfaced. Then he let the memory go just as the footsteps drew closer to your office door.

The door swung open next and you stepped inside without looking up from your phone. Your lips were at the straw of your iced tea. A tired sigh leaving your lips while you reached for the binder under your arm. Then you froze when you looked up, nearly dropping your purse, drink and the rest of your belongings from your grasp as your steps stuttered to a halt. Your breath caught in your throat so sharply it bordered on painful and you felt the shock all the way into your back. 

Jeongguk stood near your desk as though he just happened to be in the neighbourhood and decided to stop by there. One hand tucked into the pocket of his jacket. The other on top of your chair’s headrest. The afternoon light shone into the room and outlined his silhouette. Making his shadow look freaking gigantic. 

For a split second, you genuinely thought your heart had stopped and then you remembered to breathe, “What the fuck…” The words escaped your lips in a harsh whisper and your eyes darted back toward the doorway where your door was still half opened. Without thinking, you reached behind you and pulled the door shut quickly. The latch clicking softly into place before anyone passing by had the chance to glance inside.

Only then did you turn back to him, a hand at the center of your chest as you whispered, “What the actual fuck are you doing here?” You took a step closer, your voice strained with disbelief, “This floor is for staff only.” 

Jeongguk simply watched you with that same infuriatingly calm stature that made you want to knock the sonic coins out of him. He stood there without saying a single word as though slipping into places he wasn't supposed to be in was no more remarkable than walking through the front door. Which, knowing Jeongguk… it probably wasn't.

His eyes drifted from your face to the takeout cup still clutched loosely in your hand, condensation sliding over the plastic from where you had carried it back upstairs making your fingers wet. The thought crossed his mind for a split second. Not even a second. Half a second. Your fingers in his mouth. He stomped the idea out faster than it formed and then he was stepping closer to you, a small smile tugging at the corner of his pierced lips, 

"Was gonna take you to lunch." He hummed out thoughtfully, "But..." His eyes lingered on the drink for another second, "Looks like I missed my chance." He made a tch noise with his lips and shrugged, “Maybe another time.” He acted as though he simply noticed the cup in your hand. As though he were piecing the story together now. 

Jeongguk almost hated how skilled he was at lying straight to your face.

You glanced down at the cup as though you had forgotten you were still holding it and something unreadable crossed Jeongguk's expression before it disappeared. His gaze returned to yours, giving away nothing. As if he hadn't known exactly where you had been. As if he hadn't watched you sitting outside on the patio. As if he hadn't stood at a window, daggered eyes shooting towards the man sitting next to you.

The lie rolled easily on his tongue. He hadn't come here to surprise you. He hadn't come to ask you to lunch. He had come looking for answers. The invitation was simply the prettier version of the ugly truth.

"Yeah, right. Take me to lunch. And the sky is green, Jeongguk." You rolled your eyes, “You don’t even eat lunch, lying moron.” You grumbled, clutching the cup a little tighter, "How did you even get in here?” You placed your things down onto your desk and sighed, rubbing at the back of your neck before looking around to see if anything had been touched, "If security catches you, they'll trespass you before you make it five feet down the hallway." 

Jeongguk looked at you for a long moment and then he felt a strange feeling bubbling within his chest. Then he began to laugh. Hard. A genuine bark of amusement that escaped out of his lips before he could stop it. He sounded like he was mocking you. The kind of laugh someone let out after hearing something genuinely absurd. You glared at him. Eyes narrowing. 

The idea of the gallery security catching him made him guffaw. That was a good laugh. 

His smile stayed spread across his lips as he started moving towards you. Steps slow and nonchalant. Each step carrying the same high strung confidence (dick heavy) walk he had entered the building with, "Those goofs?” He said fondly. As if he were actually willing to entertain the challenge of getting caught, "Yeah… I think I'll survive."

You shot him an unimpressed look and your arms folded over your chest as he approached you, "I'm fucking serious, Gguk." You inhaled a labored breath as though him coming closer to you had you feeling overwhelmed already. 

"Oh, I know you are, sweet pea." He stopped just in front of you, close enough that you had to tilt your head back slightly to keep his eye contact, "And I think that's adorable." He reached up and you felt the back of his fingers brush lightly over your cheek before you instantly whipped your head away from his touch. 

Your glare deepened. His smile did too.

You stared at him with complete disbelief, your shoulders collapsing in mild defeat, "Who the fuck do you think you are?" You hissed, careful to keep your voice from carrying beyond the office door, "Showing up at my job unannounced? Again? Are you actually crazy?" You paused, “I don’t even know why I ask you that question anyway. You know what you are.” 

Jeongguk didn't so much as flinch. Instead, the tip of his tongue stuck out to lick over the piercings on his lower lip before his teeth dragged over it, “I was tryna surprise you.” He mused, amused by your outrage more than intimidated by it.

You blinked at him several times before crossing to your chair to pull it out from the desk in one rough tug, "That's what you come up with to say?" You huffed, taking a seat and grabbing your mouse to check your computer. 

Jeongguk gave you the smallest shrug as he walked over to your desk to lean against the edge of it right in front of you, almost blocking your view from the computer, "If I announced I was coming..." His gaze stayed on yours, big arms crossing over his wide chest, "It wouldn't have been much of a surprise, would it?"

You opened your mouth to argue but nothing came out because against all reason, his logic was internally consistent. Instead, you scoffed under your breath, "I don’t have time for this shit today." You spat, shaking your head as your fingers pressed against your temple.

"No?" He asked softly then he hummed in thought before continuing, "But you're still talking to me." The smile tugging at his lips only made you want to strangle him more, “If you want me to leave, just say the word.” He nodded, making no effort to get up. If anything, Jeongguk made himself more comfortable. Leaning back on his hands as he watched you click at absolutely nothing on your computer. 

He leaned more against the edge of your desk then slid backwards until he was sitting on top of it properly. Completely at ease in a space where he had no right to be. He pushed aside a neatly stacked folder of documents as he made himself comfortable and your head lifted to glare at him as he sat there in the middle of your desk like rules were merely suggestions for him.

“I can’t work with you sitting there.” You deadpanned, staring at him with exhaustion. You were annoyed… slightly. Your eyes blazed in his direction for a long moment, waiting for him to realize he had overstayed his welcome.

He didn't.

That was always the problem with Jeongguk. He toted himself with this energy that felt like he could tell the exact distance between being unwanted and being tolerated. And he always seemed to know when he was closer to the latter. 

You sighed out, "Leave." and then you turned back toward your computer. The word came out threatening. Convincing enough to you. You didn't look at the door. Nor did you stand up.

Jeongguk quietly noted down every single thing you didn't do.

A menacing smirk began to curl upwards along the corner of his lips. Not because he thought he had won but because he understood you better than you wanted him to. Yes, you were telling him to leave. But you were also sitting there letting the silence hang heavily between the two of you. Letting him stay.

Jeongguk pushed away from the desk slightly, just enough to make you think he might actually listen. And your eyes flickered over to him with hope filled in them. He smiled at you with that same snarky ass grin and then he sat back down, staying exactly where he was. 

“Fucking asshole.” You grumbled to yourself and started typing along your keyboard. Eyes narrowing as you tried (and failed) to look busy. Eventually, your patience ran out and you pushed back from your chair with force. 

Jeongguk didn’t move but his attention followed you the second you stood up.

You ignored him and crossed the room toward the shelves along the wall. Reaching between files and display pieces to find what you were looking for. Your movements were automatic. You were awful at pretending to not care about him being there if Jeongguk had to be honest. 

This was your space. Your routine. Your life. And yet somehow, with the insufferable ass man you called your ex sitting there, it felt different. As though the room had warped to fit his presence. As if he was sucking all the air out of the very space you were standing in. 

Behind you, you could feel his eyes following. Dark gaze tracking you in the way you were used to because you knew Jeongguk had always been observant. Always memorized details about you without meaning to. 

You felt his fierce gaze drift downwards and land on your ass shamelessly and you almost whipped something at his head to have some sort of decorum. But you didn’t. Of course not. 

You finally found what you were looking for and turned back around. That’s when Jeongguk stood up and trapped you against the corner of your desk before you could make it to your chair, “You look pretty today.” His gazed trailed over the dress you were wearing, “Very office siren.” He commented with a hum of approval, “So damn sexy.” 

“God, shut up.” Your stomach betrayed your words by coiling tight within the very pit of your soul and you raised the file you had in your hands to hit him with it but Jeongguk snatched it away from you quickly, tossing it onto the desk with a careless thud, “Did you find what you needed on my computer?” You dared to lift your head to look up at him as his hands planted onto the sides of the desk on either side of you, “I know you snooped.” 

“What’s there to find, baby?” Jeongguk purred the nickname out and you genuinely felt your head spin at the sound of his voice. His tattooed fingers thrummed over the front of your blazer before his fingertips danced up your sleeve, "You really think that little of me?"

You stared at him as the tips of his fingers brushed over your clothes. Still, his touch raised goosebumps along your body and you could only thank the heavens that he couldn’t see your bare skin right now. 

His voice was low and his head tilted to the side as he tried to look pitiful, “You don’t trust me?” He pressed further and he crowded over you as though he owned you and the space he took up. His pelvis nudged up against yours, pinning you flush to the edge of the desk as he peered down at you with his terrorizing height. 

Jeongguk never looked guilty when he was caught. He looked like he had already thought about every possible outcome of being caught and decided none of them bothered him one bit.

The fucking nerve of this man. After everything he put you through. The secrets. The disappearing acts. The way he always seemed to know things he shouldn't, he stood there asking you that. Asking you if you trusted him. As if trust was something simple. As if it was something he hadn't spent years making complicated all on his own.

“Not at all.” You nodded sternly although your voice came out shaken as the familiarity of Jeongguk snatching the space between you both nearly suffocated you. You felt the outline of what he was packing in those snug fitting jeans of his rubbing up against the front of your dress and you swallowed the lump of lust forming in your throat thickly. Lord, he was big. 

The size difference between you and Jeongguk had always been impossible to ignore. He was just... bigger. Not just in height alone, but in presence. Standing nearly underneath him made you realize how much space he naturally occupied. Giant shoulders. A solid frame. The kind of build that made every doorway and hallway seem significantly smaller when he walked through them. 

You, on the other hand, could stand your ground all you wanted. And you fought tooth and nail to but next to him, the contrast was strikingly obvious. It wasn’t just that he towered over you. It was the way he seemed immovable. As if he were a brick wall that suddenly learned how to walk.

And the most irritating part was that Jeongguk knew exactly what effect his size had on you. His aura alone was enough to remind you that beneath the teasing and the utter cockiness was someone who had always been far more difficult to push away than you wanted to admit.

The first thing you noticed was the strong angles of his face as you stared up at him. Next was his scent. Leather. Distinct and recognizable. An unmistakable scent he carried with him in the same way it always had.

It pulled you back to the end of the lecture. The brief moment when he had passed close enough for your senses to catch it before your mind did. The same trace of leather. The same presence you had dismissed as a stranger at the time.

"Wait." You breathed, "Were you there?"

Jeongguk hummed out in question, "Where?" 

"The lecture."

The pause only lasted for less than a breath and then Jeongguk casually said, "Nope."

You knew there was no chance Jeongguk had willingly sat through an hour-long discussion about art theory unless there was a reason and you shook your head as if the idea of seeing him sitting in your lecture was preposterous even to you, "Right. Forgot you hate those lectures."

"I do."

The bluntness of the response made you scoff, "Okay? That's kind of rude."

"I didn't say I hated hearing you talk." The way Jeongguk looked at you when he said the words made them feel like anything but, “I just said I hate the lectures.” 

The teasing expression spread across his face faded slightly. Replaced by something earnest. More deliberate. As though for once in his life, he wasn't trying to provoke you or win an argument. As though he was just saying something he had been thinking.

Chocolate coloured eyes stayed on yours. Steady and unbreaking. The look in his eyes made it difficult to tell whether he was being honest or whether he had simply always been better at hiding what he felt. 

Jeongguk could dismiss anything without hesitation. He could call things boring. Pointless. A waste of time. However, when it came to you, his rules always seemed to bend just a little. 

If you knew he sat through that lecture, you would never let him live it down because in all honesty, the lecture could have lasted hours. The topic could have been something he never gave a shit about. None of it would have mattered because you were the one speaking. And Jeongguk would gladly sit for hours listening to you speak about blah, blah, blah if that meant he could listen to you talk. 

“You know I’m not into that shit, angel.” He nodded, hands reaching out towards you, landing on your waist as you stood braced against the desk, “I’m into this dress though.” He purred out with interest as his fingers drifted down your sides to your hips, “Think it would look even better on my bedroom floor.” He looked down at you and smiled, “Agree?” 

That stupidly wicked smile flashed and you felt your insides twist from it. The way pink lips stretched over white teeth. Piercings glistening. His face serving as a silent invitation for you to take a seat on it. God, you wanted to do that so bad. 

You really tried and failed at not reacting when Jeongguk looked you over. You felt as though you were the art on display under his gaze. It was dark. Tracking every inch of you as though he could see through your clothes, “Disagree.” You deadpanned although you tried to squeeze your thighs together without him noticing but who were you kidding. Of course, he noticed and it only made the smile curl wider along his lips. 

“Come over to my place tonight.” Jeongguk whispered, hands trailing up your sides, firm palms squeezing over each side of your waist in a way that made your heart rate lurch a hundred beats forward, “Stay the night. Haven’t slept with you in my arms in forever.” He confessed which made you let out a small snicker despite the shivers running up your spine from his touch. 

You placed a hand on the solid mass that was his chest. Pushing at him lightly to get him away from you but there wasn’t any use. His body was stronger than a brick. All muscle. All man. “Mm.. sounds like someone misses me.” You hummed out, loving the desperate whisper of Jeongguk’s voice. 

“Damn right.” He nodded shamelessly, “I can admit that.” His voice sounded like a strum when he spoke, “But can you say the same?” He reached up with his tattooed hand and brushed a stray piece of hair from your face, tucking the lock behind your ear so that he could see you better, “Can’t you say you missed me at all?” He almost pleaded. 

Something about a big ass man like Jeongguk nearly begging you to admit you missed him struck a fire within your stomach. You knew denying him everything you felt would only lead you down a darker path that you couldn’t find your way out of with him. But did you want to change? Well, your answer to his question sufficed enough, 

“No.” You smiled cheekily up at him. Wearing the most fucked out look in your eyes despite not even being fucked (yet). Yeah, you were already so far gone and nothing had even happened. 

You knew Jeongguk had never been good at pretending he was satisfied with half measures. Yes, you both had dinner together here and there. Sharing a few hours stolen from the rest of the world. Having conversations that lasted longer than either of you intended. Followed by the inevitable moment where you would kick him out of your apartment before anything progressed. 

He didn’t put up a fight. Didn’t try to stay. He gave you the space you deserved. It was progress. But it was never enough because he had missed more than just a meal. More than just a conversation. He had missed normalcy. He missed you. 

Nothing about the two of you was normal anymore though. Jeongguk knew that. But was it wrong for him to want more time with you? Not because dinner wasn't enough. But because leaving afterward never felt like enough.

But you were tired of his games. Tired of his hollow and empty promises. 

Spending time with Jeongguk felt as though you were always one step away from your relationship becoming real again, only for it to slip away through your fingers because while you wanted him to choose you, he wanted to trap you. 

Jeongguk wanted more than just your relationship. He wanted you to be his puppet again. And you wanted him to just stop acting like you were something he could cage and keep locked away. You had every advantage at your fingertips to rid him of you for good. All you had to do was say the word. 

So what the fuck were you two doing, really? You either wanted each other or you didn’t. But what if you wanted the idea of each other? The good parts of each other? What if you wanted the parts of each other that weren't jealousy and possession? Could you put your finger on the map that was your dynamic and figure out where to go next? 

You were caught somewhere between two impossible truths. One part of you wanted Jeongguk with every fibre of your being. Wanted the Jeongguk that showed up at your door with flowers and chocolate. The Jeongguk who could make you laugh when you were trying your hardest not to. 

The other part of you wanted him gone. Wanted the peace you had fought to build without him. Wanted the quiet that came from not constantly wondering what he wasn't telling you. Wanted to stop feeling like loving him meant standing in the middle of a lightning strike.

Everyone was rooting for you to take him back but taking him back meant taking all of him. The good. The bad. The demons he carried like they were old friends. The skeletons in his closet he buried so deeply that sometimes you wondered if even he knew where they ended and he began.

You could love someone and still be afraid of everything that came with them. And Jeongguk was well aware of that. The issue wasn’t that you didn't want him. It was whether wanting him meant accepting the heavy baggage that came with him too. And you just weren't sure anymore if your heart could survive another time of loving him at the cost of yourself. 

If he wanted to choose you, you were here. Waiting for him with arms wide open. But he had to prove to you he was just choosing you. And showing up unannounced to your office today was setting him all the way back to where he first started. 

But when he leaned down to you like he did right now. Closing the space between you both as though it were as easy as pie. When his lips brushed over your own parted ones as though you were just waiting for him to do just that. When he finally pressed his lips against your own as if the action were simply a natural exchange shared between the two of you… You wondered if you were just keeping up with this charade because you were scared of being hurt again.

Or if you were just as fucked up as he was and loved the danger that came with being someone as unhinged as Jeongguk. 

Did your crazy match his crazy? 

The thought lingered long before you were aware of your actions. Wrapping around your brain like a thorned vine as you melted into his touch and kissed him back almost instantly. 

The movements were slow and patient. Which was contradicting because you both kissed as if you didn’t have a pile of paperwork to sift through. As though you didn’t have a job to do. As though anyone could have walked into your office right at this second. Everything was forgotten when your lips met. His lips soft and sickeningly sweet in the worst way possible. 

Your hands pressed against his chest once more but not to push him away this time. Instead, you let the tips of your acrylics curl into the tight shirt he wore under his leather jacket. Your nails running languidly over every dip of his pec muscles before tracing downwards until they were counting over each set of rock hard abs lining his torso as though he were a Greek God and not your dreadful ex slash cold blooded assassin. 

God, you missed him too. Missed feeling those lips tracing every inch of you. Missed the way he would eat you up like a starving man. Missed his perfect body. You made a point to never kiss him goodbye or let him have more than a pat on his shoulder each evening he came over to spend those fleeting hours with you because you knew what it would do to you if you let him get closer than an arms length. 

And you ached every single time you kicked him out of your place before the night turned into something more. But now that his lips were on yours, the question on how you managed to survive saying goodbye to him every night without feeling any part of him on your body ran through your head over and over. 

He tasted like cigarettes and cherry lip balm. You tasted like peaches and lemon. You wanted to push him away but instead, your hands over his abdomen only moved to pull him closer by the flaps of his leather jacket. Letting the fading scent of smoke, leather and motor oil seep into your senses.

“You know I can’t stay away from you even if I tried.” Jeongguk murmured against your lips, “Even if I don’t want to.” He exhaled into your mouth, “Because fuck knows I want to. I want to leave you alone. Give you all the space you need. But I just fuckin’ can’t.” He breathed, your foreheads bumping against each other as his nose brushed yours, “I hate myself for it.” 

Your fingers curled into the leather of his jacket and you had to block the words he was saying from reaching your heart because if you let those walls down, he would invade you and then there would be no going back. Instead, you bit over his lower lip and dragged it back between your teeth. Earning a low groan from Jeongguk’s lips, 

“Then act normal.” You whispered back to him, “Start with not breaking into my office uninvited.” You said all this while your hands reached up to smooth through his hair, a hand resting against the back of his head to pull him into you only for him to deepen the kiss. 

He licked over your lower lip and your lips parted for him. Your tongues touched and you heard him let out a soft noise. It sounded like a whine and you hated how fast your core throbbed at the sound. You both lazily let your tongues explore each other and then as he broke away from your lips, he whispered with a jagged breath, a string of spit hanging between your lips, “I just want you so bad.” He gazed down at you with smoldering eyes, “In every way.” He whispered, dark eyes devouring your very existence with just a look. 

“Lord. Fuck. Shut up and stop talking.” You spat out quickly, stealing a glance up at him with a flushed face. You felt a full body shiver go right through you as you stared into his eyes. You felt dizzy and there was a throb between your thighs you simply couldn’t ignore any longer. 

Jeongguk had his eyes on the sheen of spit on your lips and then his trance fixed on the blush on your cheeks before he tilted his head to the side with question, 

“Why? Am I making you wet?” He asked with a smile. 

“Drying up as we speak actually.” You lied. Painfully. 

“Yeah?” He mused, “Can I check?”

“No. Cuz there’s nothing to see. Trust me.” You lied through your teeth as your feet planted firmly on the ground where you stood, “But if you can move me, sure.” Despite grounding yourself to the floor of your office like a pillar, you could feel the wobble of your knees and you knew with just one easy move, Jungkook could flip you around like a pancake and do anything he wanted. 

And that he did. One hand landed roughly against your hip and the other reached around to rest along your lower back, spinning you around in one quick maneuver and pressing the front of your body up against your desk, making your hands fly out on top of the surface to catch yourself from planting face first into it, 

“That was too easy.” He cooed out triumphantly, “You sure there’s nothing to see?” He asked, eyes glancing at you as you turned your head to gawk in shock at him, “Speak.” He instructed you, “Tell me the truth, honey. I’m giving you the chance because I’m a good man.” 

You gasped as he manhandled you as though he could pick you up and snap you like a twig. The air punched out of your lungs and you lost your balance at once. Pathetically letting him push you downwards onto the desk with one large hand pressing against back of your head while the other traced along the hem of your dress only to hike it up slowly, 

“Good man.” You puffed out an exhale and laughed in disbelief, struggling to turn your head to look at him, “Nothing about you is good.” You mumbled into the desk, fingers curled under the wood of it while you tried not to raise your ass up as Jeongguk leaned down to press his chest against your back to hold you still, his groin digging into the bare skin along the backs of your thighs while his knee pushed between your thighs easily to spread them apart, 

The graze of your heels skidding across the floor as Jeongguk shoved your legs apart with his knee echoed through the office and you genuinely wanted to die at how loud it sounded. If anyone was outside the door right now, they could easily hear everything else. Your stomach twisted with excitement at that and then you had to remind yourself that you weren’t going to fold this easily. 

You weren’t going to give in. Weren’t going to let him have you that easily. Weren’t going to… oh fuck…. But Jeongguk’s pierced lips were at the shell of your ear now. Kissing over the dangly earrings you were wearing today. Warm lips moving from your ear to the side of your neck. Trailing heated kisses against your soft skin. Making your eyelids droop and head lull back to give him more space to run those smooth lips along your jugular. 

Sweet nothings spilled from his lips with ease. Telling you how much he wanted you. How bad he missed you. Whispering next about something heinous that only made your thoughts cloud from the obscenities spilling out his mouth. 

Large hands roamed around your body. Grabbing and massaging over every inch of you. Squeezing over your breasts. Your hips. Your ass. Complementing the shape of your body. Your curves that fit like a puzzle into him. How perfect you were. How much he wanted you to the point where he couldn’t breathe right. 

And you listened to it all. Listened because he was speaking the damn truth. 

What weren’t you going to do again? 

“I’m gonna ignore you and give you what you want now.” Jeongguk said lastly, his nose grazing over your temple as he pushed your dress up to your waist with one hand. One large palm splaying over the curve over your ass as the dress exposed you, “Mmm. I bought you these.” He commented on the black panties you were wearing, giving the tender flesh of your ass a firm squeeze, “The fortune I’ve spent on you yet you still treat me like shit.” He cursed, tattooed fingers now playing with the waistband of your panties, “Ungrateful fucking woman.” The words came out like venom and your ears burned with shame because you fucking loved it. Sick. 

“Treat you like shit?” You laughed into the desk, trying to move so that you could send a death glare over to his direction but it was no use. He was covering over you like the heaviest weighted blanket in the entire world. Your chest heaved against the wood you were pinned to and you could feel the heat pricking along your skin as his hands roamed with free will over your bare skin, 

“You disappear when it suits you. Lie to my fucking face. Break into my office.” You shook your head, “Maybe I treat you like shit because you keep giving me reasons to.” You argued back with a fleeting moment of confidence and then your lips clamped shut and jaw clenched at once as you felt him pressing his fingertips up against the warmth over your panties.

Your vision blurred at the feeling. His touch ghosted over you. Barely there but still feeling heavy at the same time. You knew you were soaking through your underwear already and you silently cursed your body for betraying you. You sucked in a deep breath when you felt the digits press up against the dampness already there and you felt the smirk along Jeongguk’s pierced lip as he pulled away from you only to wrench your panties to the side. 

“Shut up.” Jeongguk spat the command out and you knew you struck a chord at that. Good. 

You celebrated the victorious moment of pushing his buttons. The victory reigned only for a split second though before you felt the familiar intrusion of his fingertips running over your folds from behind. A weak whine escaped your parted lips at that and Jeongguk huffed, his movements halting at once, “You’re gonna stay quiet for me, yeah?” He murmured gruffly and didn’t move until you verbally agreed to hush your mouth. 

“Fuck.” Your forehead thumped against the top of your desk and your eyes squeezed shut, face burning with pride before you finally blew out a frustrated breath and nodded submissively, “Y-Yes.” You whimpered, your waist unconsciously pushing back against Jeongguk’s fingers. 

“Mmm.” Jeongguk hummed out proudly, “I know you’re only being like this because you missed me too. You’re just too fuckin’ stubborn to admit it. But it's okay.” He crooned mockingly, “Let me take care of you now, my love.” His voice dropped to a sweet octave despite the curses he was slewing earlier, “Don’t you want me to touch you?” He asked, fingers running over your dripping folds and a hasty breath leaving his lips, 

“Poor little thing. So wet because of me.” He tutted, “Lying to yourself for what?” Two fingers pushed at your entrance at that, stretching you apart just from the width of his fingers alone, “Lying to me for what?” A low groan escaped his throat, fingers pushing and curling into you. 

You could hear the squelch of your wetness when his tatted digits pushed into you and it should have embarrassed you but instead, you rocked backwards at once. Hands gripping over each side of your desk as your head raised to tip back. 

Fuck, you hated what he did to you. Hated how fast your body reacted to his attention. You wanted to slap yourself and scream to get a fucking grip. But it was so fucking hard to resist him. He knew you inside out. Knew just what to do to make you crave him even though he wasn’t good for you. 

A soft moan left your lips feeling those skilled fingers inside of your tight walls. The moan was a fucking accident. You didn’t mean to but how couldn’t you when this man was on you the way he was? Your body felt like it had been lit on fire and all you could do was just feel. 

That’s when you felt a strong arm wrap around the front of your chest to haul you up off the desk, keeping your back arched as his large palm clasped over your mouth at once, holding you in place while his fingers worked their magic in you at the same time, “Gonna get yourself fucking caught.” Jeongguk grumbled against the side of your head, “Want people to see you like this? Slutted out with my fingers in you?” He painted the picture of your coworkers having their own exhibition of the two of you and you could only shake your head weakly with his hand over your lips. 

The response made Jeongguk let out a soft chuckle, “Thought so. That wouldn’t be so professional of you, would it?” He murmured, pulling his fingers out of you only to reach lower between your thighs to press his sopping fingers up against your swollen clit, “What would they think of you if they saw?” He gently rubbed circles over the bundle of nerves and your lips trembled against his fingers clamped tight over your mouth in response, “Yeah. Exactly.” He answered although you couldn’t speak but the terror and mild excitement of being caught shining in your eyes was enough for him. 

Your body writhed in response to his touch. He didn’t relent. Continuing to move his fingers skillfully along you. You couldn’t make noise but you could bite. And so, your teeth sunk into the palm of his hand. Digging hard into his flesh. Which only made Jeongguk grunt out softly with approval from the pain. You whimpered against his skin next and Jeongguk removed his hand from over your mouth to let you breathe, 

“Fucking hell.” You whispered when you were freed and inhaled a sharp breath then leaned down to rest against the desk as Jeongguk pushed you back down only for him to drop onto his knees behind you, making your legs spread wider as he reached up towards your panties and grabbed them by the waistband to pull them down to your ankles, 

“Fuck. Wh–” You could hardly speak, “What are you doing?” You breathed out, hands on top of the desk curling into the wood. You were too spent to lift your head to look anymore instead, you just… felt. 

“Teaching you how to be fucking grateful.” Jeongguk drawled out as he pushed your asscheeks apart and buried his face into you without warning. His tongue gliding between your folds in one hot, languid motion. 

Your vision went white and your back instantly arched for more. Body jolting. His nose pressed into you while his tongue lapped at you from behind, hands over your ass kneading and squeezing painfully at the flesh, 

“Taste so fucking good.” He nearly growled as he pulled back and that’s when you felt him spitting over your pussy. You could feel the saliva drip downwards and you whined pathetically from it, unable to hold your body still, “Then you wonder why I’m fucking crazy about you.” He whispered then he was back where you needed him to be the most, sucking over your dripping heat as though he were trying to drink your juices up. 

Your head flopped down to rest over your forearms and your nails scratched over your desktop. Small whimpers falling out from your lips and getting muffled by the surface of the desk. You could feel the drool slipping out of your mouth and pooling into a little puddle along the wood as you let him devour you from behind. Whatever the hell he was doing with his mouth right now was sending you closer and closer to the edge and you couldn’t even make a single peep to let him know how good he made you feel. 

The pads of his fingers dug into your asscheeks to spread you wider and you swore you wouldn’t be able to sit down for the next three business days after he let go of you from the grip he had. Your body went into a permanent jello state. Pliant. Wobbling and unsteady as you tried to fight the coils tightening within the pit of your stomach. 

“Apologize.” Jeongguk commanded as he pulled back suddenly. 

You almost cried from the loss of feeling and only then did you dare to turn to look over your shoulder at the man on his knees behind you. His eyes were blown. Fucked out just eating you out alone. Lips glossy and red. Hair a dishevelled mess. Chest heaving. Gaze locked on you like a fucking demon, 

“Say sorry for being ungrateful.” Jeongguk nodded, hands roaming down from your ass to your thighs, nails scraping over you and making you whimper before he slowly rose to his feet, the back of his hand wiping over his mouth.

You twisted around finally and swallowed hard because suddenly having to apologize to this insolent man made you want to jump out of the nearest window. Jeongguk didn’t relent though. Instead, he smiled. That fucking ridiculous smile he did when he knew he had you right he wanted you to be. Wrapped around his finger. Or his mouth, actually. 

“You’ve lost your entire mind.” You breathed hard, struggling to stand up straight from the ravaging. You were so close before. So close to gushing onto his tongue. And now with every weak movement you made, it felt like you were going to explode with no contact at all. 

You dragged yourself up onto the desk to sit there, taking a moment to gather yourself. You could feel your heart thumping wildly in your chest. Hair falling out of the once neat bun it was tied in. Glasses almost at the end of your nose. Beads of sweat lining your hairline. Eyes unfocused. Clit throbbing with the need for attention. Panties still hooked carelessly around your ankles. 

You only needed a second. A second to collect your thoughts so you could kick this man out of your office for not letting you come but it was a second too late because Jeongguk was already over you. Standing between your spent knees and pulling you to the very edge of the desk by your legs before you could even get your clothing fixed back into place.  

“Say sorry and I’ll fuck you.” He nodded, “Isn’t that a good compromise?” He tilted his head as though his offer was the most reasonable thing in the world. 

You would rather the earth break open and suck you into hell than apologize. The very thought of saying sorry for being a human with feelings was humiliating. Saying sorry because he invaded your space yet again like he owned you? Fuck right off, Jeon Jeongguk.  Go to fucking hell. 

You wished you had a gun to shoot yourself instead. 

Apologizing so he could dick you down? 

Absolutely fucking no–

“Sorry.” You whispered quickly, “I’m sorry.” You said again. The shame and humiliation burned on your face like fire but Jeongguk wasted no time in letting you dwell on that because next thing you knew, he had his fingers over the buckle of his belt. Eyes on your own as he undid his jeans and inched them down next just enough for the 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 whole ass inches of his dick to swing out and bounce heavily as though it simply couldn’t wait for this moment just like you. 

“See? That’s all you had to do.” Jeongguk teased, one hand hooking under your thigh to raise it up and wrap it around his waist. The panties stuck around your ankles slipped when he lifted your thigh only for the fabric to dangle carelessly off your other foot instead as you leaned back on your elbows and stared up at him with glossy eyes and wordless lips. 

Jeongguk tugged you closer to him, one hand wrapping around the base of his length as he slapped the tip of his precum pooled dick up against your clit at once, dragging the precum over your clit and between your folds until he was pressing up against the tight heat of your entrance.

Again, a fucking miserable and nearly borderline embarrassing whimper escaped you from the feeling and the sounds filled the four walls of your office. Lord, the sounds. Wet wasn’t even a word to describe you anymore. You were practically leaking. Soaking. Gushing. You had to bite your tongue at once to stop any more noises leaving your lips when Jeongguk’s gaze snapped to look at you with a silent warning to stay quiet. 

“Was that so hard, darling?” His voice was thick and laced with pure honey as he continued dragging his length over your bundle of nerves then barely dipping the tip of his cock into you. Teasing you. Dragging it out to bring you to the brink of insanity. 

You could barely keep your eyes open let alone answer as you watched him bend his head next and let his spit trickle out of his red lips. Making it land right where the head of his dick and your entry met. 

“You won’t do it again, right?” He asked after, guiding himself to dip into your entrance once more. The nasty wet sound filling your ears and making your eyelids flutter, “You’ll be a good girl from now on, yeah?” He pushed his cock past your ring of tightness as he inched into you and cursed quietly from the feeling of your walls instantly gripping him. 

Your vision hazed almost immediately at the feeling. Lips pressing together tight to stop yourself from letting out the strangled cry that threatened to break free from your throat. No surface was strong enough for you to grab onto to brace yourself from the pleasure crawling over your skin already. 

You grabbed onto the leather of his jacket with one hand for support. The other landing on top of the desk to hold onto the edge of it tight enough to turn your knuckles white, “F…Fuck.. Yes.. I’m sorry.. I’m fucking sorry… I’ll be a good girl. I promise.” You nearly sobbed, “Please just fuck me.” You begged, knowing how much it turned him on when he turned you into a pleading mess. 

The power of having you spread wide on top of your desk under Jeongguk’s command in your very office shouldn’t have turned him on the way it did. It was kind of twisted how much his dick throbbed at the feeling of having you like this. With your lipstick smeared. Drool spilling out from the corners of your mouth. Glasses shifted and lenses fogged up from the heat shared between you two. Tears stuck to your lashes already and he wasn’t even all the way inside of you yet. It was so fucking sexy. And he felt like a king because of it. 

“That’s my girl.” Jeongguk praised, words slurring while he raised your thigh higher when it threatened to drop from around his waist, “And you’re gonna let me come see you here whenever I fucking want, right?” He asked as the rest of his length sunk into you, filling you up entirely and stretching you apart, “Gonna let me do whatever the fuck I want?” His sexy Busan accent slipped out from his lips as he started to thrust, barely giving you time to adjust. 

You let out a pitiful whine and nodded sharply, struggling to form a breath let alone coherent words, “Anything you want.” You managed to respond and then he was thrusting. Making slow, deliberate plunges in and out of you. Dragging his length against your walls so slow you could practically feel the veins along his girth throbbing. 

“That’s right.” Jeongguk mused with satisfaction, “Anything I fuckin’ want.” He nodded quickly, freehand reaching down to you for his fingers to clasp under your chin and wrap around your throat. Forcing you to raise your head and look into his eyes as his thumb and index finger on either side of your neck squeezed along those two points to constrict your breathing just a bit. Timing his thrusts to hit right after he squeezed at your throat. 

Only he could do this. Only he knew just what to do to make you feel him everywhere all at once. He was so fucking good at making your body arch and shake. How could you ever stay away from this? 

The magical curve of his length touched the sweet spot inside of you along with your breaths constricting instantly had you almost black out from the feeling, “Fuck– right there. Yes.” You whispered, “Feels so good.” You babbled, reaching up to hold onto his wrist where he held you by the throat, “More, baby.” You pleaded, nails digging into his skin to make him increase the pressure on your neck more but not to totally stop you from breathing. 

He didn’t crush your windpipe. Only squeezed under your jaw lightly to make it the oxygen drain from your lungs and brain just enough, “So fucking good.” You nodded mindlessly and slurred the words out. Drunk on lust and Jeongguk. Your wrist twisted the material of his jacket and you pulled him closer, making him fuck you deeper. 

He let go of your neck and grabbed your hand that was wrapped into his jacket to bring your fingers to his mouth, wrapping his wet lips around your index and middle fingers to suck over them. He coated the digits with his saliva. Taking his time. Making you watch him with blown pupils. Making it sloppy just the way he liked. And then he released them with a lewd pop before saying, “Touch yourself for me.” 

Weakly you reached down between the two of you and pressed your two fingers up against your throbbing clit at Jeongguk’s instruction. Dragging them over the bud slowly before gasping softly. Your toes curled and your walls squeezed at his length. You were so sensitive. And you knew it wouldn’t take much to come if you continued this way. 

Jeongguk waited for you to move your fingers and you both locked gazes as you began to rub circles around your clit. Your chest felt as though it were about to cave in on itself and you shook your head quickly as he began to thrust again. The feeling was too much. You had barely touched yourself and you were already seeing white. 

A small cry broke free from you and your head dropped back, glasses sliding backwards off your face in a careless fashion and falling onto the desk with a clatter as you started to tremble, “I’m– Fuck. Please. Please.” You didn’t even know what you were begging for. You just didn’t want him to stop. You were teetering on the edge. Feeling the intense pressure building up higher, higher and higher and then you were unraveling right before Jeongguk’s eyes. 

“My pretty girl.” Jeongguk rasped, hips snapping up to fuck you through the orgasm unleashing through you powerfully, “Fuck, I can feel you creaming all over my dick.” You only whined ridiculously in response while he cooed out to you sweetly, “I know, doll. I know. Feels too good, huh?” He hummed with approval, a proud smile flashing over his lips, 

“Let me fill you up, kay’?” The words spilling from his lips started to stutter along with the rhythm of his thrusts. It was like watching you come took him right to the edge and pushed him off faster than fucking you ever could, “Fuck, gonna fill this pretty pussy up.” He swore, burying his dick all the way into you with one more brutal thrust and then he was emptying himself into you with a harsh hiss followed by a deep groan. 

You were floating on a cloud. Barely registering anything except the sync of Jeongguk’s waist moving in you. You felt his grip around your thigh tighten and then he slammed his length into you. Rocking his hips in a circle. And finally you felt the heat of him spurting his release into you. Filling you up just like he promised. 

You thanked him like the cock hungry slut you were. Eyes rolling back to a close as you relished in the feeling before he pulled out of you at once and left you empty. Making you let out a tiny whimper from the loss of feeling him inside of you.

Meanwhile Jeongguk looked like he had barely broken a sweat. If it weren’t for his unbuttoned jeans that he already tucked his dick back into, you would have never known he just fucked the life out of you. His leather jacket was fitted perfectly back into place. Tight compression shirt smoothed down and stuck to his abdomen. Hair pushed back into its rightful place. And he was already collecting his sunglasses and earpiece where he had left it on your desk, pushing the earpiece into the back of his jeans and taking his phone out to check it. 

“Feel better now?” He asked with a hum of interest, stuffing his phone into his pocket as he stood in front of you. Funny that he was trying to sound casual as if he didn’t just make you forget your full government name just a few seconds ago, “Next time, just say you missed me. It’ll make it easier for both of us.” He chided although there was the faintest hint of a smile along his lips as he buckled his belt. 

“Well, um.” You slowly sat up in a daze, “So…” You shook your head and gingerly slid off the desk. Landing on your feet and fixing them back into your heels that had almost slid off, “Okay...” You finally breathed out with a loss for words, leaning down to pull your underwear back on clumsily. 

Your hands were shaking from the aftershock still. You wanted to say you felt like a new person, really but you knew that would only make Jeongguk’s already giant head swell more. So, you sighed out tiredly and fixed your clothes. Picking up your glasses that had toppled off your face. You placed the lenses on top of your head and circled around the desk slowly. Grabbing a tissue from the box near your computer to wipe away his release that had already begun to trickle down the inside of your leg. 

“You good?” He asked as he watched you struggle to pull yourself together but he made no effort to help because the view of you shakily fixing your appearance made him ecstatic. 

You ignored him and wordlessly balled up the tissue then tossed it into the trash before wobbling on weak knees to your desk chair. You plopped down with a sigh and grabbed your compact mirror, opening it to look at your reflection. Immediately beginning to wipe under your eyes and the corners of your lips where your makeup had smeared. 

Jeongguk's eyes drifted to the watch face on his inner wrist and a quiet exhale left him.

Almost six. 

He made his way over to wear you sat and he leaned against the edge of the desk, reaching out to cup your face with both his hands. Making you tear your attention away from the mirror in your hands as he lifted your head up to look into his eyes when he gazed down at you, “You alright, baby?” He asked, thumbs swiping across your cheeks where your tears had stained your skin, 

“I’m okay.” You nodded, staring up at his face. His expression was unreadable. But his eyes held a warmth behind them that you only saw when he was looking at you, “I might have been a bit of a bitch earlier.” You admitted, “I’m sorry.” You said earnestly this time, slowly standing up and letting Jeongguk tower over you while you felt his strong arms slide around your waist protectively, “Maybe I’ll just be honest and tell you how I feel from now on.” You grumbled the last part out, eyes shifting away from his intense stare. 

Your words settled deep in Jeongguk’s heart and he couldn’t help the warmth fanning out through his chest from it, “That’s progress.” Jeongguk mused out with a nod, “Maybe I’ll ask you before I show up here next time.” He paused, “No promises though.” He added with a small smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. 

You simply huffed in response. Too tired to even argue about how insanely annoying it was that he was borderline stalking you. Instead, your head dropped against the front of his chest while your arms tucked under his jacket and slid around his abdomen. You could barely wrap your arms around his wide frame but you clung onto him anyways. Inhaling the leather and cologne stuck to his clothes and skin. 

You both hugged each other quietly for a long moment. No words needed to be said. Your mind was goop anyway. Jeongguk seemed perfectly content with the silence too. He pressed his face against the top of your head. Breathing in your scent. Fingers trailing down your spine before he began to shift, his hand lingering along your lower back as though he didn’t quite want to pull away yet, 

“Want me to take you home? I gotta go walk that dog.” He mumbled, jaw shifting in place with mild irritation. 

He didn’t have anywhere else to be but he knew Mrs. Grey… that old hag would be waiting by her front door with Pebbles. Leash already in hand. And undoubtedly wondering where he was. Yeah, he could flake on her but Jeongguk made a promise. And unlike most people, he intended to keep it. 

“I’m already behind on work because of you so, no.” You nodded and began to pull away from his hold to sit back down on your chair. 

Jeongguk’s attention stayed on you, “Right, right.” He nodded with understanding because he knew how seriously you took your job. That was one thing he actually didn’t mess with when it came to you. Even if he invaded your office and spent the better part of an hour distracting the shit out of you. Still, this job was everything to you. He had already taken up too much of your time anyways. 

"You busy later?" He asked as he began to make his way to the door, "You could come over." He nodded, “I can cook us dinner for a change.” 

You let out a soft breath, already knowing the weight behind his invitation. Although you did miss Jeongguk’s cooking. He was a far better cook than you. You had plans you couldn’t cancel. Plans you weren’t going to ditch just for him because that’s what you used to do when you were his puppet. Not anymore. 

You held his gaze before giving him a small shake of your head, "Can't. I'm meeting my coworkers. And a few clients. We're going to the club after work." You nodded as your gaze drifted down to your haphazard appearance, “Well, after I go home and shower now.” You added the last part with a faint smile

His jaw tightened once before relaxing again. His tongue pressed briefly against the inside of his cheek, eyes dropping to the floor for the briefest second as though he were sorting through a dozen thoughts he had no intention of sharing before he finally asked, 

“What’s the club called?" He questioned you with curiosity in his eyes. 

You paused, trying to remember, “I think it’s called…” You thought more then you shrugged, "The violet rectangle or something like that." 

That wasn’t even the right name, you silly goose. But Jeongguk knew where you were going immediately anyway. The Purple Circle. 

The club wasn’t famous but he had been there before. It was a place where powerful people gathered because they believed the flashing lights and expensive drinks made them untouchable. A place where conversations happened in corners and deals were made beneath the noise.

He wasn’t visiting as a guest that time. He came in as The Ghost. Blending into the crowd and following another figure who’s shadow was swallowed by the movement of people dancing and lights. The place where he followed a man into the bathroom stalls and ended his life with a knife to his neck. Slipping out into the night soon after with not a drop of blood or a single scratch on him. 

Hearing you casually mention going there with coworkers and clients, the memory surfaced without permission. The same walls. The same thunderous music. The place where he had once entered for work.

And now you were going there. A part of him was bothered by you going to that place in particular. Not due to the fact that you would be with your fellow friends and coworkers. It was more about the fact that a place he associated with blood deals and secrets had somehow become part of ordinary life. Exposing innocent patrons to the atrocities people in his world conducted in plain sight. 

Jeongguk looked back at you with his expression carefully neutral. You had no idea. No idea how familiar The Purple Circle was to him. But he nodded anyway and his jaw clenched for a moment before he turned away, “Call me if you need me.” He reached for the doorknob, the leather of his jacket shifting as he moved. 

Before opening the door, he paused long enough to slide his sunglasses back into place over his eyes. The dark tint of the lenses separating him and the rest of the world, "And be careful." He said finally. 

You opened your mouth to respond. You weren't even sure what you were going to say. Maybe a sarcastic comment. Maybe a reluctant goodbye. Maybe something softer that you would immediately regret letting him hear. But you never got the chance because Jeongguk was already gone. The door closing behind him with a quiet click. 

You sat there for longer after Jeongguk left. Deep in thought. Eyes on the door he had left through. Memories of those heated moments you spent with him just a breath ago played behind your eyes like a movie scene. 

He crossed a boundary and made you apologize for it. Manipulated you into thinking you were in the wrong. He didn’t even feel bad for it all because he thought he was doing the right thing. Thought protecting you meant control. 

Thoughts of the ghost that haunted you plagued your mind because after all those evenings spent together. After all the dinners and conversations that stretched longer than either of you expected, you had started to believe maybe you were finding your way back to each other. 

It wasn't just that he had broken into your office. It was that some part of him still believed he could. That loving you meant having access to every part of your life. That protecting you meant crossing every boundary you tried to set.

You hated that he didn't see the difference. Hated that you didn’t confront him for it either. 

You stood up and crossed to your office door. Making a split second decision. Your fingers hovered over the screen to change the passcode. You hesitated for a long moment.  

Maybe Jeongguk didn't understand why walking into your office without permission was wrong. Maybe he saw it as concern. Maybe he saw it as love. But you knew better. Love didn't mean someone could unlock every door just because they used to have the key.

Your hand slowly lowered because you couldn't do it. It wasn’t because you didn't think you deserved that boundary. And it wasn’t because you weren't angry. You were fucking furious. 

However, changing the code meant admitting that you were shutting him out completely and somewhere in the dark pit of your heart, you didn’t want to do that at all.

Remember? Crazy matches crazy? Yeah. 

You let out a quiet breath and stepped away from the keypad. The screen eventually went dark. The old code remained. And you really hated yourself a little for it. You knew Jeongguk would probably never understand that this was the part that made him so difficult to leave.

No matter how much he hurt you… some part of you was always leaving the door unlocked.

Jeongguk reached the street to his motorcycle waiting where he had left it earlier. He swung a leg over the bike and sat there for a moment, one hand resting loosely against the handlebar. The other on his leg. 

Your words replayed in his head. The club. The Purple Circle.

A hand slipped into the inside pocket of his leather jacket and his fingers found the familiar shape before he even pulled it out. A crushed pack of menthols. The corners were worn, the cardboard slightly bent from being carried around too long. He turned it over once in his hand before tapping the bottom lightly against his palm.

He pulled one free and placed it at the corner of his lips, lighting the end of it with the click of his lighter. The small flame illuminated his face for a second before disappearing. He took the first drag slowly, letting the menthol settle on his tongue.

The taste was cold. A strange contrast to the warmth still fluttering around in his stomach from being around you. Smoking had never been about enjoying it. It was something to do with his hands when his mind refused to quiet down. And today, his mind wouldn't stop.

His mind ran a marathon. Thinking about the fact that you would be walking into a place tonight he knew far too well about. Not knowing about the things hidden beneath its surface. The fact that he wanted to tell you all about it. The fact that he couldn't.

He knew you weren't a target. You weren't an enemy. You weren't someone he needed to study, track, or anticipate. He still treated you like one though. It was like he was waiting for a threat instead of standing beside the person he loved. 

And then he turned it all around. Making you think you were the one at fault the entire time. 

He knew it wasn't normal. He knew you deserved something softer than the way his mind worked. Jeongguk wanted to be normal more than he would ever admit. He wanted to love you without analyzing every detail. Without needing to know every possibility. Without turning every feeling into something he had to control.

But this life was the only one he knew. Being The Ghost was the only version of himself he had ever been allowed to become. And even when he was with you, he forgot he didn’t need to be a ghost.

The cigarette burned slowly between his lips as he stared out at the street. When it reached the end, he didn't toss it aside. Jeongguk leaned forward instead, carefully pressing the remaining ember out against the metal near the rear of his motorcycle. Close to the tire where it would never be noticed.

Jeongguk waited and made sure it was completely out then he tucked the extinguished cigarette butt into the small sewn pocket hidden inside the lining of his leather jacket. He had learned a long time ago that you leave with everything you came with. That was the rule. No traces. No evidence. Nothing that proved you had ever been there. Disappear completely. Leave nothing behind.

He reached into his jacket and pulled out his phone next, scrolling through his contacts until one name appeared. 책사 (Chaeksa or The Strategist). The call connected instantly. 

"Yeah?"

Jeongguk didn't waste time, "I need a favour.”

“What you need, twin?” Came the voice from the other end of the call. 

“Need a table at The Purple Circle tonight."

On the other end, The Strategist was already figuring out what needed to be done before Jeongguk had even finished explaining what he wanted. 

He wasn’t called The Strategist for nothing. 

Every operation passed through him before it ever reached the field. And people often mistook his composure for kindness. It wasn't. 

He stood tall and composed. Impossible to rattle. His appearance was refined without being flashy. All clean lines, tailored suits and the kind of professionalism that suggested he had no interest in proving his status to anyone. 

There was an intelligence in his face that was difficult to miss. He had sharp dragon-like eyes that seemed to catch details everyone else overlooked. Specks of gray in short black hair. A pair of deepset dimples that kissed his cheeks on the off chance he did crack a smile. 

His strength was never intimidation. It was his mind. He knew things. He remembered things. Everything. Faces, names and conversations spoken months earlier. He could recall insignificant details everyone else dismissed. To him, nothing was insignificant. Every piece belonged somewhere like a puzzle. 

If The Ghost was the blade… The Strategist was the hand that decided where it fell.

"For yourself?" The Strategist asked after a moment. 

Jeongguk confirmed, “Just me.” 

"What time?"

"Before she gets there."

Jeongguk could picture it. The tilt in The Strategist’s expression. The moment where he registered the request without questioning it, "I'll have someone clear the VIP balcony."

"Nah." Jeongguk mumbled into the phone, "I want the main floor."

The words made the silence last a little longer. Jeongguk listened to the timed breaths coming from the other end of the call. There was a long stretch of silence. As though the person on the other end of the line was in utter shock that The Ghost was requesting a table in the middle of the most exclusive club in the city. 

It wasn’t that the request couldn't be done. 

It was because it was Jeongguk making this request because another thing Jeongguk despised more than art was clubs. He hated flashing lights. The fucking noise. The constant movement of strangers around him. He hated environments where everyone was trying to be noticed. And he fucking hated sloppy drunks too. Unfortunately, it just so happened to be that clubs had all those things.

Nevertheless, The Strategist finally said, "I'll make the call."

The line ended at once and Jeongguk slipped his phone back into his jacket and reached down, pulling his gloves out from the seat behind him. Slowly, he pulled them on. One hand. Then the other. The leather tightened around his fingers as he flexed them, his gaze fixed somewhere beyond the street in front of him.

The only reason he ever stepped inside places with boisterous noise and drunk idiots was because he had a job to do. But tonight wouldn’t be for business. Tonight, a visit to The Purple Circle wouldn’t be for work. 

And when the time came for the club doors to open later tonight, he would already be seated at a table. Waiting. Yes, The Ghost would be waiting. For you. 

A/N - My own writing stressed me out to the point where I needed to go smoke a cigarette. Anyways, I’m done for the day. See you in the next chapter where I make the ghost do more fucked up shit. 

BTW originally big man was packing 9 inches but i thought that might be tew long for miss girl. 7 inches seemed good enough (ahhh yes the 7 again) dont come for me okay i aint ever seen a big dick irl so idk blame illya rozanov for that or smth