C'est la vie, C'est la Mort

Dodger is well known for his graffiti artwork throughout Tulsa. He eventually grows into a more serious artist and Delainey is his most favorite subject to draw.

It’s official

One of the hotter planets, the hottest tiny human-carrying planet. You’ve got a Dodger in there, babe, our ego has to fit somewhere. { he kisses her and laughs } Please don’t hit me, you’re stunnin’.

Today’s theme song …. 

Wonderland Magazine (2014)

“I could love you more now than I could back in the day. I’ve changed,” she mused, coming back to him. “But you and I both know that’s out of the question,” Holly said, giving him a knowing smile. “I’d settle for being in your life again, as friends.” She dumped the pasta into the water and turned to him. “I’ve missed you.” 

As the water boiled, he turned around, bracing himself on the counter. At her words, he felt his stomach drop. Facing her again, he couldn’t even manage a smile. Holding up his left hand, he agreed, “yeah, it is. I asked a different question to another woman a long time ago.” Placing it back on the counter, he added as he leaned back, "Her name’s Carmen Dodger now, been that way since January. I’ll be a dad in a few months too, pretty fuckin’ terrifyin’, huh?” He shrugged, the light in his eyes when he talked about his family faded as he met hers, “I’ve never been happier. Turns out you can give your heart to someone else, who knew? I love my wife, she’s everything I want, but it doesn’t changed what happened between us and I don’t know if we can be friends. I just don’t know.”

“The divorce was finalized a few months ago,” she said, her voice flat. “That’s why I’m back here. I married to cope, I think. I lost you and Noah back to back, but losing you was my fault.” She looked up at him, feeling calmer as his voicec softened. “What happened? I was broken, you know? I kind of just gave over control, because every time I was in control, I hurt someone.” She turned to stir the pot of water, begging it to boil. “And then the marriage just fizzled out, because I didn’t care and I didn’t try. Everyone I actually cared about was gone.” Holly looked back to him, trying to smile, but it didn’t look natural. “I’ve never been good at coping, you know.”

He didn’t interrupt, he just listened. It was hard to hear, and suddenly all his heartbreak seemed for nothing. “If you want me to say it’s okay, I can’t,” Rodney had no profound sentiment or compassionate word, and he couldn’t let himself feel any sympathy for her. “No, I know, you never have been. Hell, you’re looking at one long coping mechanism. I want you to be happy, Holls, somehow I can’t wish you any sufferin’ after all that. But I offered you everything I had and it nearly cost me everything. I loved you more than you’ll ever know, and you sent me a letter to tell me you never did feel that same devotion back. It stung, fuck it--it ripped the very heart from my chest, and I can’t and never could hate you for it, which just hurt worse.” He grabbed her arm, forcing her to stop stirring that damn pot and look at him, “this has always been you not knowing what you want. You are one of the strongest, most interestin’ women I have ever met and so damn fickle. You cope so you don’t have to know, but you’re gonna answer me. What is it you really want, Holls?”

Holly looked up at him over her nose as she bent over to get a pot. “You’d be surprised how few secrets there are in this house,” she laughed, pulling herself to her feet. “And if there were secrets, Rodney Dodger, they definitely wouldn’t be in the kitchen. You sure? No favorite foods or anything you’re dying to have?” Filling the pot with water, she turned her head to look at him. “I was married, for a year and a half,” she said tentatively, after a few moments. If they were going to talk, Holly thought, she might as well start off with the bombshell. “Noah and I moved to Oregon, but things ended. I moved it with a friend of mine, and he and I got married a few months later. His name was Henry. I was Holly Meyers for a year and a half.” She shrugged and turned to walk to the pantry. He had said to surprise him, after all.

“Well, hearts are fickle things,” he added. All her talk about how she could only give her heart away once, and she went off and married some guy who made her name sound like a housewife who had Tupperware parties. “And yours is very possibly the most fickle I’ve seen. It’s an art, Holls.” He came around the counter, still frantically trying to process this. “You still married--of course not, decided it wasn’t worth it, did ya?” It had taken so long to get over what she had done to his heart, and she didn’t seem to miss a beat. He took a deep breath, his voice softer as he exhaled, “Holly...what happened?”

Holly’s house was white, inside and out, but she used her bare walls hang pictures of people from her life. There were pictures of Carmen, Rose and Hailey, Cain. Old photos of the Four Amigos: Holly, Hunter, Lauren and Noah. Family photos. Andrew, Henry and Adiland from Oregon. Rodney. White bookshelves leaned against almost every wall, corralling the lazy, mismatched furniture in each room. Drafts of her poems were tacked to the door frames. Her record player, the same one she and Rodney had used to dance to Elvis the first time she brought him around, sat in the middle of the floor. “Um…you can look around if you want while I get food started. Be as nosy as you’d like. I’m an open book.” She dropped her bag on the floor and headed to the kitchen, grateful for the time to compose herself. “Is there anything you really want?”

Studying her walls as he was allowed entry to not just her home, but her life, he smiled at the thought of how much had changed since the first time he had charmed his way into Holly’s life. His eyes scanned her poems, he always knew she was good. Better than good. Spinning around to face her, the question felt weighted. Sure it was about dinner, but he couldn’t help wondering what he really wanted. Walking through her house was wandering through what might have been. “Got any Soc secrets in there?” He joked, to lighten the internal tension. The fingers of his left hand curled around the wall’s corner as he leaned into it and laughed. “Surprise me.”

“Noah’s long gone,” she said, grimacing both at the question and at it’s delivery. Too many people in her life were distant memories and Noah Harvelle was an unfortunate one on the list. She paused, hesitant to continue. There were too many things she could tell him, but none of them felt appropriate standing outside while she was practically strangers with the man. “Do you want to come inside? I could make you dinner, if you’d like.” The sudden need for company overwhelmed her, but she tried not to let it be seen on her face.

Mentally fighting the urge for a victory comment or a self-righteous smirk, he had to be the bigger man. Then again, out of all accusations, that was never one of them. “What a waste of paper,” he muttered. It was a childish remark, but he didn’t care. He had never known what Noah’s letter had said, but if it was the more positive spin of what he got, he couldn’t feel sorry for either of them. She had a choice, and she made it. Not his fault it wasn’t worth it. He did want to talk to her, though. Tell her things, but the time had to be right. Carmen would be with Hailey until at least after dinner. “Yeah, yeah I do. I got a bit of time before I need to be home.” It was always near impossible to walk away from her when she had that look on her face, the subtle hint of vulnerability. He could always see it.

“Rodney,” she said, her voice cracking softly as she uttered his name for the first time in almost two years. After a moment, she tore her eyes away from his, glancing back down at her bag, finally pulling her key out of a crevice somewhere at the bottom. When she looked back to him, he was still there, very much real and not an illusion from the heat. “I…hi.” A small smile appeared on her face. “Hi.”

Taking a half-step back, he wouldn’t go where he wasn’t invited. “Nice house,” he commented as he looked it over. It just screamed Holly, why he’d never noticed before, he didn’t know. Probably because he tried not to think about her anymore. His jaw clenched a bit before the next question, married or not, he’d hate that man ‘til his last breath. “Uh, Noah come with ya?”

Holly was distracted when she began to dig around in her bag to find her house key, ignoring the footsteps she could hear faintly around the corner. She never knew anyone she met on the street anymore, anyway.

Her hair was longer now, her clothes were different, and she held herself a little differently. A maturity to her posture had grown since they had last met. He walked up the sidewalk, coming up behind her. “Well, I’ll be damned,” he murmured, shoving his hands in his pocket, “you never could find your keys.” Despite the years, that tug at his lips was the same boyish grin. It never would change. “Hey, Holls.”

When you fucking dive into another person or character. I’m a Gemini so for me I try to keep one side of my life for everyone that I’m around and then the other side I can kind of explore in other people with the character stuff. I can get away with doing things that I would probably never do, but the other side of me would.

Jack smiled on the sound of Rodney’s voice.  There was something strangely comforting about it.  “Cat?  Nah man, it was the call of the wolves,” he responded with a friendly smack on the arm.  “What have I missed?  Are the Socs bowing down at our feet yet?”

Jack could never stay away from Tulsa.  He had to travel.  The thought of settling down was a nightmare but Tulsa was home.  It was where he always had friends to give him a place to stay and a much needed good meal.

“Look what the cat dragged on ‘ome,” Rodney hollered to a long lost face around here. He wasn’t much for envy, but if there was any life he wanted a quick peak into, it’d be Jack’s. The freedom of the open road, all the traveling. It was always a tempting call. “Fuckin’ Massey,” he greeted with that infamous smirk playing on his lips.