Rocks

Fortunately, he landed in the body of a palace maid that had been on the verge of death and not his original body — the maid to wife #247 - who is actually the system’s first attempt at using Shen Yuan to fix LBH’s life but transmigrated him too late in the story and LBH hadn’t spent enough time with him to remember his presence in the harem

Shen Jiu is quite comfortable in her new body but not comfortable in the palace and intends to escape as soon as possible — at least until she learns the person LBH is searching for so earnest is the wife he’s so coldly forgotten in his harem

Shen Jiu decides to ensure LBH never finds happiness by first trying to sabotage Shen Yuan’s place in the harem by intentionally causing an embarrassing situation (which gains the attention of a sympathetic Ning Yingying — oof that hurts) so then Shen Yuan has the attention of #1 wife

Shen Jiu tries poisoning Shen Yuan but this only results in LBH sweeping in to save her and dammit now LBH is actually paying attention to Shen Yuan

Time for the ultimate plan — seduce the wife and disgrace her (wait — she wasn’t actually supposed to fall in love with shen yuan)

In the meantime, Shen Yuan is freaking out because she’s been perfectly content to be a discarded wife and not gain the ire of the more jealous wives but now not only does she have the attention of the protagonist, Ning Yingying, and all of the jealous wives but she’s starting to really like her high IQ maid who is suddenly very protective of her against the more dangerous wives and — the protagonist?

Is she intentionally making Shen Yuan (safely) I’ll every time Binghe plans to visit her? Well if she is, SY isn’t complaining, she isn’t sure she can handle a night with the emperor yet.

My piece for the Parallel Worlds BingQiu/BinggeYuan Zine ! I'm deeply honoured to have been part of this project, thank you SO much for having me!!

Bingliushennnnnn

Now what

Shizun Binghe's reaction

↓

I (652M) have a son (idk maybe 80? 14?M) who has major hots for his milf teacher (milf age M). Teacher is just insanely slutty, absolutely built to take dick. My son isn’t even 100 yet (I think), he would have no idea what to do with all that. Meanwhile, me and me nephew (187M) are older and know how to treat a lady (gender neutral). Ideally I would like to marry my nephew to teacher after having my way with him, but teacher is very attached to son. Son is also rather volatile- teacher pushed him into the abyss at some point and he recently climbed out. He’s nothing I can’t handle, but he keeps threatening to destroy my rpf collection if I keep trying to fuck his little crush.

I decided that soft power was probably the best way to go, so I started writing rpf about teacher and son getting a messy divorce. I gift them to teacher, which he always graciously accepts. Currently I’m working on a harem drama AU where teacher leaves son for nephew after a life changing night in my bed.

(Tag via @voidpersonthing )

So Luo Binghe gets accepted into Cang Qiong contemporaneously to Shen Jiu, Yue Qingyuan, Liu Qingge, Shang Qinghua (Airplane flavor), etc. Shen Yuan is also there, not related to Shen Jiu, just making his way through the Beast Peak ranks and praying that the plot doesn't find him (it does).

Luo Binghe is still also accepted as a disciple to Qing Jing. He and Shen Jiu are rivals. Mostly because Shen Jiu quadruple hates him for having a similar background but being the "ideal age" for beginning his cultivation, and being competition for the head disciple position. How is he supposed to take over the peak and be second only to Yue Qingyuan and have power & money & social security forever if the world's luckiest fucker is right next to him, doing everything better with just as few advantages and managing to be slightly more personable on top of it?

Shen Jiu wants to bury Luo Binghe a million feet under, meanwhile Luo Binghe just wants to become a cultivator and doesn't even have designs on the head disciple position. He'd let Shen Jiu have it, except that SJ's made it clear that if he becomes peak lord he's going to do everything in his power to run Luo Binghe out of the sect entirely, and possibly also kill him and make it look like an accident.

Enter Shen Yuan, whose shizun has recently discovered his Liu Qingge wrangling talents and ability to understand more than half the shit that comes out of that Shang kid's mouth, attributes this to his equally phenomenal success in getting otherwise horrifying demonic beasts to treat him like a Disney princess, and loans him out to the current Qing Jing peak lord as a sort of Jackass Whisperer who might figure out how to resolve the drama between disciples long enough for the peak lord to actually assess their potential. Without someone get poisoned, or missing a test because they were locked in a shed, or getting the time of the test wrong and having to be awkwardly escorted out of a brothel by one of their shidi.

Shen Jiu and Luo Binghe manage to misunderstand this situation as like, whoever wins over Shen Yuan the best will be declared the superior strategist and get confirmed to the head disciple position.

They are both absolutely terrible at figuring out how to get people to like them, though. Shen Jiu just keeps attempting to find blackmail material and Luo Binghe is like, well I guess I could seduce him. That's practical. Plus I want to seduce him, so win-win. But then he's running aground against the rocky shores of Shen Yuan's internalized homophobia. Which only gets worse when Shen Jiu figures out that either Shen Yuan has no skeletons in his closet, or else what skeletons are there are so bizarre that he can't really utilize them, so Plan B: Steal that Beast's Idea and Also Seduce Him gets implemented.

What he doesn't know is that Shen Yuan transmigrated into wife #216 (the one from the sexy slime chapter...) the same night he came back and have been living his best life in the palace's library every day. He's been 'giving' his night with Bingge to the harem member who managed to sneak him in a 'Flower of Transing your Gender'.

It's kind of uncomfortable to wear a woman's clothes when he's just a totally normal straight guy, but he's FINE!! He's low enough on the totem pole that he is ignored for most of the harem drama and since he's a DUDE now he isn't pulled into any wife plots! Now he gets to study all the monsters he could ever want! Plus, just occasionally glimpsing the 'best wives' like Liu Mingyan, Sha Hauling, and Ningying is pretty cool, too!

Things are going GREAT until he passes by an upper courtyard one morning and finds a Beauty Devouring Harpy-Lizard has three wives cornered and is about to eat them! Oh no! Well, this is probably a wife plot, so Bingge will come any moment now to save them....

any moment now....

any moment....

...

WHERE is he???

Shen Yuan uses his new Beast Knowledge and his stolen body's mild cultivation to tame the lizard. Turns out it's just a juvenile and they can wean it off eating pretty women if they feed it enough regular meat! Now Shen Yuan has three women in his corner, too! They can help keep him off Bingge's radar while he stays in the palace!

Except... well... it keeps happening.

Beasts attack when Shen Yuan is nearby. Bingge doesn't show up. And then Shen Yuan has to deal with it! He's forming his own harem inside of the harem and he doesn't WANT that!!! Bingge will kill him!!!

It all comes to a head when one of the IMPORTANT wives, Ningying, is cornered by a Ravenous Rainbow Gem Tiger! Even using all of his cunning and smarts, Shen Yuan isn't sure he's going to make it! He manages to get Ningying out of there, but he's on the back ropes...

Then Bingge shows up just in time to save the day.

Oh and he looks BAD. Hair unkept, bags under his eyes, like he hadn't been eating; even with Airplane's shitty Cultivation rules the protagonist shouldn't look like this! Shen Yuan INSTANTLY starts fretting over him. Bingge doesn't seem that impressed, probably used to it by now and thinking that this is just gunna lead to The Usual Business. But he gets this little nagging feeling when Shen Yuan invites himself back to his chambers. Shen Yuan bullies him into bathing, brushes out his hair, makes him eat something, and gets him tucked all nicely into bed. And without a hint of papapa in sight!

In fact, Shen Yuan just... pats Bingge on the head and makes him promise he'll sleep and then leaves.

[ID: Sketch of Yue Qingyuan from Scum Villain. With his hands folded behind his back, he's smiling blankly and looking at a spinner wheel that's has one large section and one very thin slice. The arrow is mid-spin. Behind the wheel is a poster that labels it: Wheel Of How I Am Going To Feel Today. The key indicates the thin slice is "sliver of joy" and the large section making up most of the wheel is "wishing I was allowed to kill myself". /end ID]

Luo Binghe is praying to the only gay married god he knows for love advice (and his husband because doubling up never hurts)