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i have a hard time making friends and maintaining relationships because not only am i in a constant state of paranoia where i think everyone is out to get me and every little thing is "a sign", i also dont understand what friendship is really supposed to look like. i struggle with understanding what kind of friend everyone around me wants or needs me to be. i wish people could tell me outright what they expect of me as a friend, but it irritates people that i just dont understand it right off the bat. im unreliable, i dont mean to be, but i just get so depressed and stuck in my own head that i cannot do anything.

i feel like no one really knows me, understands me, is intrigued by me, or really enjoys me at all. i have few friendships and a lot of my friendships end because the more a person knows me, the more they grow to hate everything about me. i hate the way that i am. i dont like feeling like an outsider all the time. i dont like that i cant grasp social concepts as quickly as everyone else. i dont like that everything sends me into so bad of a panic that i cannot bring myself to leave my bed without screaming and crying. i dont like that im hard to be around.

boris with merzbow - 2r0i2p0, fiona apple - fetch the boltcutters, christie front drive - first lp, death cab for cutie - forbidden love ep & transatlanticism, first day back - forward, modern baseball - holy ghost, american football - lp3 & lp4, sleepytime trio - memory minus, pool kids - music to practice safe sex to (cassette), owen - other people's songs, everyone asked about you - paper airplanes paper hearts (cassette), the get up kids - problems, the jazz june - the boom the motion and the music, car seat headrest - twin fantasy (original and rerelease versions), and hum - you'd prefer an astronaut.

Glocca Morra is was a Philly-based indie-punk band from around 2007 or 2009 (sources seem to float around those years) to 2014. The band's original lineup of members were Zack Schwartz, Arik Dayan, Jean-Paul Casanova, and Ruben Gallego (with Nate Dionne taking over for Ruben around 2011.) They're all still friends, or at least that's what Zack said in a FaceBook post, but they have confirmed as recent as January 2021 that the band is never getting back together.

The album is actually considered a rarity since it hasn't been repressed since.... I believe it's release? (someone correct me if that's wrong) I really hope to get my hands on an official record, or to at least someday burn my own CD with this album on it LOL. They have another album but I haven't actually listened to it yet. Once I do, I will review it for you all ASAP!