Roadkill

Or, she thought she could handle it.

A bullet wound, straight through Roxanne’s shoulder, and a grimace on her face. They’re bruised, eyes wet, and Stephanie’s heart drops.

“Rox… Roxy?” she stutters, feeling faintly tingly in her fingers as she lets the kid into the house. 

She couldn’t focus on anything besides those injuries all over her mentee. How did Roxanne get so banged up? Why didn’t he call for me? I would’ve helped, why did they walk all the way here? Should I have-

"Couch, now," she chokes out, shutting the door behind Roxy. Her fingers twitch against the doorknob, and she squeezes her eyes shut to calm down.

@thegirlblunder-spoiler

Roxy finds it hard to focus on anything but the pain in her shoulder and the look on Steph's face. It had been stupid, so stupid, but they thought they could handle it. She always did that, didn't she? Underestimate just what she was up against, and get herself hurt. The burden always wound up falling on its friends' shoulders. It hated it.

He flops on the couch, fingers digging into his shoulder as he tries to keep the blood from spilling all over the place. She's mad at him. She has to be. He didn't know where else to go, he was so tired and dizzy and scared—

She must hate them.

“You- upset?! Yes, I would have been upset, Roxy! Why would I want you to—“ Calm down, Stephanie.

She crouches down in front of Roxanne, fingers trembling as she grabs the first aid kit under the table. Her mom was asleep, so it should just be them two. Carefully, she grabs gauze and stuffs the wound, holding pressure there.

The wound wasn’t as deep as she had originally thought when Roxy came in with blood all over her front, and it was treatable, but that didn’t help Stephanie’s bone deep fear.

It winces as she stuffs the wound, trying not to make any noise. It's just a bullet, people have been shot before, it's fine. It needs to stop overreacting. It keeps the hand with blood on it on its lap to avoid ruining the couch, dragging its thumb across its palm and watching the sticky red liquid spread like expired ketchup.

He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment before responding, "I found these guys trying to break into some building and there were only two so I thought it would be fine. I knocked one of them out but the other had a gun and I didn't realize it until he shot me.. I tried to catch him but, you know, I was bleeding and he... he got away."

“Why didn’t you call?” she asks, voice in a similar state to her hands. Whether from fear or from anger, or a mix of both, who knew. “Why did you assume you could handle it? Now look at you! You could’ve seriously gotten hurt!”

She fishes the bullet out using tweezers, and sucks in a breath at her now bloodied gloves.

"I— I didn't think it was that big of a problem. It was just two guys, and I was doing perfectly fine before he shot me. I probably would have been able to handle it if he didn't have a gun, or if I'd realized he had one earlier." He doesn't really mean to argue, but he hates that she thinks he can't handle himself because of this. It was one mistake. He's good at this, or at least he's not bad, he knows it.

She stares blankly at the bullet as it's fished out of her shoulder, seeming weirdly mesmerized by the metal that screwed her up so bad.

“Of course I’m okay,” she says. “I’m not the one who got shot like an idiot because I took on more than I could take.”

Grabbing a washcloth, she cleans off the area around the wound, and tries not to vomit as it gets on her gloves. The purple gloves she normally wears on patrols that she sanitized weren’t helping with her current state. In fact, it was doing the exact opposite.

“Seriously, Roxy, I thought you were better than this,” she says, looking at them. “I thought you were… I don’t know. I don’t know what I thought, but clearly I was wrong about it.”

Maybe this was her fault. She overestimated Roxanne, and now look what happened? It ended up injured, bleeding, and hurting because he rushed into something she wasn’t prepared for.

They're an idiot. They aren't ready to do any of this stuff, and they're just dragging everyone they care about down with them with every screw up.

Maybe they never should have talked to Steph. Maybe they were never meant to come here in the first place. They're just hurting her every time they come back with another wound, another failure on their head. The more they try to help, the more they hurt.

"I... I guess you were wrong." They swallow to keep their throat from closing up. She expected better of him. She expected better of him, and it failed her. It fooled her into thinking it was actually good at this—that it was someone good—and now she's never going to want to see it again.

“What?” Steph asks, eyes going wide. “Wh- You don’t have to leave. What do you mean? I’m not firing…”

Guilt hits Steph like a tidal wave, or, no, more like a tsunami.

Is that what Roxanne thought? That Steph was kicking him out? That Steph didn’t still care for him? No, no, that’s not…

Quickly, she pushes Roadkill back down.

“No, no, Roxy, no, I’m not…” she swallows. “Buddy, no. That’s not what I mean. Do I.. You thought I was kicking you out?”

Steph’s voice broke, and she feels even worse. How dare she be the one getting emotional when she just made Roxy feel unwelcome and unwanted. God, Steph’s just the worst mentor in the world.

"Even if you aren't, I'm... I should still leave. I messed up, and I keep messing up, and I'm always going to and you're always going to be the one who has to deal with it if I don't stop now."

They're not good at this. No amount of training will change that, or has changed that.

"You're right. I was reckless and stupid and I'm not nearly as good at this as you are— I'm just making this all harder on you by sticking around. You have enough to deal with without me leeching off of you and bothering you all the time."

Steph's been a great mentor. She's understanding and funny and kind and strong and everything Roadkill wishes she could be. It thought it could be like her, could learn from her, but all it's learned is that it's a terrible mentee and it shouldn't burden people by acting like it isn't.

She stood up, shaking her head as he stares at her so blankly. The expression felt like it was trying to slice her heart into fifty pieces, and she can’t help but look away.

“No, you- you’re good, Roady, you’re not a burden at all. You aren’t a leach, either!” she looks back. “I don’t know how you came to that conclusion, honestly, because I never saw you, for a second, like that.”

She lets out a humorless laugh, boggled by how she managed to fuck all this up so badly that her mentee thinks that she hates her.

“You’re great at this! Better than I was at your age! There’s nothing wrong with how you’re doing this! I’m just messing this up! There’s nothing you ever need to change, but I…”

She stares at Roxy before sucking in a breath.

It feels like it's watching a horror movie as it stares at her, like its some ugly monster and she's the headstrong protagonist that'll kill it and save everyone, or die by its hand to be immortalized as a savior.

The guilt and regret recedes for a moment and it loosens up. "Really?" It feels so stupid asking, but it has to be sure. What if she's lying? What if she's messing with them? What if she's going to take it all back once they think they're in the clear?

"You're not messing anything up! You've made this all so much better by just being here, you've made my life—you've made me better just by being around me, by helping me and being there for me and... Steph, I don't know what I'd do without you."

It stands up to follow her but keeps its distance, not wanting to aggravate her any more.

“No, Roxy. No, I want you to be better than me,” she says. “You’ve never disappointed me, not once. You’ve got so much potential, Roxy, you know that?” she opens her eyes. “My life’s improved since you came into it, kiddo. You’re such a kind person, and you’re like a mini light. You try so, so hard to appease me but you don’t need to and you shouldn’t feel like you have to.”

She blinks back her tears, but it doesn’t work, and she ends up just landing onto the floor, sitting.

“You’re a good kid. You deserve so, so much more than me, bud. I’m trying my best but you didn’t deserve my anger. I should have known better, that’s on me.” Stephanie brings her knees up to her chest, voice shaky. “I don’t want to imagine you dying. I’ve seen what happens- felt what happens to kids like you.”

She shook her head.

"Yeah, it hurt a little but... you're trying your best. You're doing a lot better than most people. At least you can admit when you've made a mistake." She lowers herself to their knees, taking a little bit longer than necessary to settle.

"You keep saying I deserve better but I don't think anyone else could do what you do, and that's why we go well together! We both fuck up a lot, yeah, but if you're willing to forgive me.. and, yknow, I'm definitely willing to forgive you."

Their hand reaches up to hover above their wound, fingers lightly brushing against the gauze.

Or, she thought she could handle it.

A bullet wound, straight through Roxanne’s shoulder, and a grimace on her face. They’re bruised, eyes wet, and Stephanie’s heart drops.

“Rox… Roxy?” she stutters, feeling faintly tingly in her fingers as she lets the kid into the house. 

She couldn’t focus on anything besides those injuries all over her mentee. How did Roxanne get so banged up? Why didn’t he call for me? I would’ve helped, why did they walk all the way here? Should I have-

"Couch, now," she chokes out, shutting the door behind Roxy. Her fingers twitch against the doorknob, and she squeezes her eyes shut to calm down.

@thegirlblunder-spoiler

Roxy finds it hard to focus on anything but the pain in her shoulder and the look on Steph's face. It had been stupid, so stupid, but they thought they could handle it. She always did that, didn't she? Underestimate just what she was up against, and get herself hurt. The burden always wound up falling on its friends' shoulders. It hated it.

He flops on the couch, fingers digging into his shoulder as he tries to keep the blood from spilling all over the place. She's mad at him. She has to be. He didn't know where else to go, he was so tired and dizzy and scared—

She must hate them.

“You- upset?! Yes, I would have been upset, Roxy! Why would I want you to—“ Calm down, Stephanie.

She crouches down in front of Roxanne, fingers trembling as she grabs the first aid kit under the table. Her mom was asleep, so it should just be them two. Carefully, she grabs gauze and stuffs the wound, holding pressure there.

The wound wasn’t as deep as she had originally thought when Roxy came in with blood all over her front, and it was treatable, but that didn’t help Stephanie’s bone deep fear.

It winces as she stuffs the wound, trying not to make any noise. It's just a bullet, people have been shot before, it's fine. It needs to stop overreacting. It keeps the hand with blood on it on its lap to avoid ruining the couch, dragging its thumb across its palm and watching the sticky red liquid spread like expired ketchup.

He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment before responding, "I found these guys trying to break into some building and there were only two so I thought it would be fine. I knocked one of them out but the other had a gun and I didn't realize it until he shot me.. I tried to catch him but, you know, I was bleeding and he... he got away."

“Why didn’t you call?” she asks, voice in a similar state to her hands. Whether from fear or from anger, or a mix of both, who knew. “Why did you assume you could handle it? Now look at you! You could’ve seriously gotten hurt!”

She fishes the bullet out using tweezers, and sucks in a breath at her now bloodied gloves.

"I— I didn't think it was that big of a problem. It was just two guys, and I was doing perfectly fine before he shot me. I probably would have been able to handle it if he didn't have a gun, or if I'd realized he had one earlier." He doesn't really mean to argue, but he hates that she thinks he can't handle himself because of this. It was one mistake. He's good at this, or at least he's not bad, he knows it.

She stares blankly at the bullet as it's fished out of her shoulder, seeming weirdly mesmerized by the metal that screwed her up so bad.

“Of course I’m okay,” she says. “I’m not the one who got shot like an idiot because I took on more than I could take.”

Grabbing a washcloth, she cleans off the area around the wound, and tries not to vomit as it gets on her gloves. The purple gloves she normally wears on patrols that she sanitized weren’t helping with her current state. In fact, it was doing the exact opposite.

“Seriously, Roxy, I thought you were better than this,” she says, looking at them. “I thought you were… I don’t know. I don’t know what I thought, but clearly I was wrong about it.”

Maybe this was her fault. She overestimated Roxanne, and now look what happened? It ended up injured, bleeding, and hurting because he rushed into something she wasn’t prepared for.

They're an idiot. They aren't ready to do any of this stuff, and they're just dragging everyone they care about down with them with every screw up.

Maybe they never should have talked to Steph. Maybe they were never meant to come here in the first place. They're just hurting her every time they come back with another wound, another failure on their head. The more they try to help, the more they hurt.

"I... I guess you were wrong." They swallow to keep their throat from closing up. She expected better of him. She expected better of him, and it failed her. It fooled her into thinking it was actually good at this—that it was someone good—and now she's never going to want to see it again.

“What?” Steph asks, eyes going wide. “Wh- You don’t have to leave. What do you mean? I’m not firing…”

Guilt hits Steph like a tidal wave, or, no, more like a tsunami.

Is that what Roxanne thought? That Steph was kicking him out? That Steph didn’t still care for him? No, no, that’s not…

Quickly, she pushes Roadkill back down.

“No, no, Roxy, no, I’m not…” she swallows. “Buddy, no. That’s not what I mean. Do I.. You thought I was kicking you out?”

Steph’s voice broke, and she feels even worse. How dare she be the one getting emotional when she just made Roxy feel unwelcome and unwanted. God, Steph’s just the worst mentor in the world.

"Even if you aren't, I'm... I should still leave. I messed up, and I keep messing up, and I'm always going to and you're always going to be the one who has to deal with it if I don't stop now."

They're not good at this. No amount of training will change that, or has changed that.

"You're right. I was reckless and stupid and I'm not nearly as good at this as you are— I'm just making this all harder on you by sticking around. You have enough to deal with without me leeching off of you and bothering you all the time."

Steph's been a great mentor. She's understanding and funny and kind and strong and everything Roadkill wishes she could be. It thought it could be like her, could learn from her, but all it's learned is that it's a terrible mentee and it shouldn't burden people by acting like it isn't.

She stood up, shaking her head as he stares at her so blankly. The expression felt like it was trying to slice her heart into fifty pieces, and she can’t help but look away.

“No, you- you’re good, Roady, you’re not a burden at all. You aren’t a leach, either!” she looks back. “I don’t know how you came to that conclusion, honestly, because I never saw you, for a second, like that.”

She lets out a humorless laugh, boggled by how she managed to fuck all this up so badly that her mentee thinks that she hates her.

“You’re great at this! Better than I was at your age! There’s nothing wrong with how you’re doing this! I’m just messing this up! There’s nothing you ever need to change, but I…”

She stares at Roxy before sucking in a breath.

It feels like it's watching a horror movie as it stares at her, like its some ugly monster and she's the headstrong protagonist that'll kill it and save everyone, or die by its hand to be immortalized as a savior.

The guilt and regret recedes for a moment and it loosens up. "Really?" It feels so stupid asking, but it has to be sure. What if she's lying? What if she's messing with them? What if she's going to take it all back once they think they're in the clear?

"You're not messing anything up! You've made this all so much better by just being here, you've made my life—you've made me better just by being around me, by helping me and being there for me and... Steph, I don't know what I'd do without you."

It stands up to follow her but keeps its distance, not wanting to aggravate her any more.

The tranquility is shattered by a scream.

Wade doesn't have the luxury of hearing something outside the house. It's coming from one of the rooms. It doesn't sound entirely panicked, but he doesn't get to deliberate for long. Almost as soon as it starts, it stops and goes silent again. Eerily quiet this time.

Roadkill is staying the night tonight. The sound seems to have come from their room, followed by the sounds of quick and shallow breathing, and a couple quiet thuds.

- @roadkillwontstaydead (feel free to ignore)

*wade's hearing isn't awesome but he's pretty sure that was a scream. and he's not even sure who scrumpt.*

*he runs out to check it out, but he can't tell where it came from. maybe roadie's room?*

"Wade?"

Their eyes are wide as they step out of their room, shutting the door behind them with frantic movements. They're running their hands along the wood and wall as they do so.

"Sorry, I'm fine. I was just..." They pause, not wanting to admit something so stupid. "I was having trouble waking up, and usually if I really really need to wake up I just start screaming. It was one of those dreams where you fake-wake up over and over again and I didn't realize that I was actually awake this time. I'm sorry."

*wade strokes their hair as he's hugging them.*

The tranquility is shattered by a scream.

Wade doesn't have the luxury of hearing something outside the house. It's coming from one of the rooms. It doesn't sound entirely panicked, but he doesn't get to deliberate for long. Almost as soon as it starts, it stops and goes silent again. Eerily quiet this time.

Roadkill is staying the night tonight. The sound seems to have come from their room, followed by the sounds of quick and shallow breathing, and a couple quiet thuds.

- @roadkillwontstaydead (feel free to ignore)

*wade's hearing isn't awesome but he's pretty sure that was a scream. and he's not even sure who scrumpt.*

*he runs out to check it out, but he can't tell where it came from. maybe roadie's room?*

"Wade?"

Their eyes are wide as they step out of their room, shutting the door behind them with frantic movements. They're running their hands along the wood and wall as they do so.

"Sorry, I'm fine. I was just..." They pause, not wanting to admit something so stupid. "I was having trouble waking up, and usually if I really really need to wake up I just start screaming. It was one of those dreams where you fake-wake up over and over again and I didn't realize that I was actually awake this time. I'm sorry."

*wade strokes their hair as he's hugging them.*

The tranquility is shattered by a scream.

Wade doesn't have the luxury of hearing something outside the house. It's coming from one of the rooms. It doesn't sound entirely panicked, but he doesn't get to deliberate for long. Almost as soon as it starts, it stops and goes silent again. Eerily quiet this time.

Roadkill is staying the night tonight. The sound seems to have come from their room, followed by the sounds of quick and shallow breathing, and a couple quiet thuds.

- @roadkillwontstaydead (feel free to ignore)

*wade's hearing isn't awesome but he's pretty sure that was a scream. and he's not even sure who scrumpt.*

*he runs out to check it out, but he can't tell where it came from. maybe roadie's room?*

"Wade?"

Their eyes are wide as they step out of their room, shutting the door behind them with frantic movements. They're running their hands along the wood and wall as they do so.

"Sorry, I'm fine. I was just..." They pause, not wanting to admit something so stupid. "I was having trouble waking up, and usually if I really really need to wake up I just start screaming. It was one of those dreams where you fake-wake up over and over again and I didn't realize that I was actually awake this time. I'm sorry."

*wade strokes their hair as he's hugging them.*

The tranquility is shattered by a scream.

Wade doesn't have the luxury of hearing something outside the house. It's coming from one of the rooms. It doesn't sound entirely panicked, but he doesn't get to deliberate for long. Almost as soon as it starts, it stops and goes silent again. Eerily quiet this time.

Roadkill is staying the night tonight. The sound seems to have come from their room, followed by the sounds of quick and shallow breathing, and a couple quiet thuds.

- @roadkillwontstaydead (feel free to ignore)

*wade's hearing isn't awesome but he's pretty sure that was a scream. and he's not even sure who scrumpt.*

*he runs out to check it out, but he can't tell where it came from. maybe roadie's room?*

"Wade?"

Their eyes are wide as they step out of their room, shutting the door behind them with frantic movements. They're running their hands along the wood and wall as they do so.

"Sorry, I'm fine. I was just..." They pause, not wanting to admit something so stupid. "I was having trouble waking up, and usually if I really really need to wake up I just start screaming. It was one of those dreams where you fake-wake up over and over again and I didn't realize that I was actually awake this time. I'm sorry."

The tranquility is shattered by a scream.

Wade doesn't have the luxury of hearing something outside the house. It's coming from one of the rooms. It doesn't sound entirely panicked, but he doesn't get to deliberate for long. Almost as soon as it starts, it stops and goes silent again. Eerily quiet this time.

Roadkill is staying the night tonight. The sound seems to have come from their room, followed by the sounds of quick and shallow breathing, and a couple quiet thuds.

- @roadkillwontstaydead (feel free to ignore)

*wade's hearing isn't awesome but he's pretty sure that was a scream. and he's not even sure who scrumpt.*

*he runs out to check it out, but he can't tell where it came from. maybe roadie's room?*

"Wade?"

Their eyes are wide as they step out of their room, shutting the door behind them with frantic movements. They're running their hands along the wood and wall as they do so.

Or, she thought she could handle it.

A bullet wound, straight through Roxanne’s shoulder, and a grimace on her face. They’re bruised, eyes wet, and Stephanie’s heart drops.

“Rox… Roxy?” she stutters, feeling faintly tingly in her fingers as she lets the kid into the house. 

She couldn’t focus on anything besides those injuries all over her mentee. How did Roxanne get so banged up? Why didn’t he call for me? I would’ve helped, why did they walk all the way here? Should I have-

"Couch, now," she chokes out, shutting the door behind Roxy. Her fingers twitch against the doorknob, and she squeezes her eyes shut to calm down.

@thegirlblunder-spoiler

Roxy finds it hard to focus on anything but the pain in her shoulder and the look on Steph's face. It had been stupid, so stupid, but they thought they could handle it. She always did that, didn't she? Underestimate just what she was up against, and get herself hurt. The burden always wound up falling on its friends' shoulders. It hated it.

He flops on the couch, fingers digging into his shoulder as he tries to keep the blood from spilling all over the place. She's mad at him. She has to be. He didn't know where else to go, he was so tired and dizzy and scared—

She must hate them.

“You- upset?! Yes, I would have been upset, Roxy! Why would I want you to—“ Calm down, Stephanie.

She crouches down in front of Roxanne, fingers trembling as she grabs the first aid kit under the table. Her mom was asleep, so it should just be them two. Carefully, she grabs gauze and stuffs the wound, holding pressure there.

The wound wasn’t as deep as she had originally thought when Roxy came in with blood all over her front, and it was treatable, but that didn’t help Stephanie’s bone deep fear.

It winces as she stuffs the wound, trying not to make any noise. It's just a bullet, people have been shot before, it's fine. It needs to stop overreacting. It keeps the hand with blood on it on its lap to avoid ruining the couch, dragging its thumb across its palm and watching the sticky red liquid spread like expired ketchup.

He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment before responding, "I found these guys trying to break into some building and there were only two so I thought it would be fine. I knocked one of them out but the other had a gun and I didn't realize it until he shot me.. I tried to catch him but, you know, I was bleeding and he... he got away."

“Why didn’t you call?” she asks, voice in a similar state to her hands. Whether from fear or from anger, or a mix of both, who knew. “Why did you assume you could handle it? Now look at you! You could’ve seriously gotten hurt!”

She fishes the bullet out using tweezers, and sucks in a breath at her now bloodied gloves.

"I— I didn't think it was that big of a problem. It was just two guys, and I was doing perfectly fine before he shot me. I probably would have been able to handle it if he didn't have a gun, or if I'd realized he had one earlier." He doesn't really mean to argue, but he hates that she thinks he can't handle himself because of this. It was one mistake. He's good at this, or at least he's not bad, he knows it.

She stares blankly at the bullet as it's fished out of her shoulder, seeming weirdly mesmerized by the metal that screwed her up so bad.

“Of course I’m okay,” she says. “I’m not the one who got shot like an idiot because I took on more than I could take.”

Grabbing a washcloth, she cleans off the area around the wound, and tries not to vomit as it gets on her gloves. The purple gloves she normally wears on patrols that she sanitized weren’t helping with her current state. In fact, it was doing the exact opposite.

“Seriously, Roxy, I thought you were better than this,” she says, looking at them. “I thought you were… I don’t know. I don’t know what I thought, but clearly I was wrong about it.”

Maybe this was her fault. She overestimated Roxanne, and now look what happened? It ended up injured, bleeding, and hurting because he rushed into something she wasn’t prepared for.

They're an idiot. They aren't ready to do any of this stuff, and they're just dragging everyone they care about down with them with every screw up.

Maybe they never should have talked to Steph. Maybe they were never meant to come here in the first place. They're just hurting her every time they come back with another wound, another failure on their head. The more they try to help, the more they hurt.

"I... I guess you were wrong." They swallow to keep their throat from closing up. She expected better of him. She expected better of him, and it failed her. It fooled her into thinking it was actually good at this—that it was someone good—and now she's never going to want to see it again.

“What?” Steph asks, eyes going wide. “Wh- You don’t have to leave. What do you mean? I’m not firing…”

Guilt hits Steph like a tidal wave, or, no, more like a tsunami.

Is that what Roxanne thought? That Steph was kicking him out? That Steph didn’t still care for him? No, no, that’s not…

Quickly, she pushes Roadkill back down.

“No, no, Roxy, no, I’m not…” she swallows. “Buddy, no. That’s not what I mean. Do I.. You thought I was kicking you out?”

Steph’s voice broke, and she feels even worse. How dare she be the one getting emotional when she just made Roxy feel unwelcome and unwanted. God, Steph’s just the worst mentor in the world.

"Even if you aren't, I'm... I should still leave. I messed up, and I keep messing up, and I'm always going to and you're always going to be the one who has to deal with it if I don't stop now."

They're not good at this. No amount of training will change that, or has changed that.

"You're right. I was reckless and stupid and I'm not nearly as good at this as you are— I'm just making this all harder on you by sticking around. You have enough to deal with without me leeching off of you and bothering you all the time."

Steph's been a great mentor. She's understanding and funny and kind and strong and everything Roadkill wishes she could be. It thought it could be like her, could learn from her, but all it's learned is that it's a terrible mentee and it shouldn't burden people by acting like it isn't.

Ive been eating at the manor for the last few days

I broke into the wrong apartment and didn't realize until after the bacon was made

Ive been eating at the manor for the last few days

I broke into the wrong apartment and didn't realize until after the bacon was made