timeless

 i’ll be moving rkyngsun over to another blog and i’ll also be changing her face her to loona’s ha sooyoung, otherwise known as yves, i can be found here @rkhsy !

only one thing is changing about her and that is her age, she’s now 1 year younger, so no longer a ‘96 line but a ‘97 line yes! everything else is staying the same & she has solar’s voice still uwu

- - -

all that does it point to her eventual release from the project. and unlock the additional trainees brought into this, she cannot simply go back to her company and forget all about the debut she missed out on. sphere was her company. so she had to sit here every day, seeing them in the corridors knowing that they’re prepping for a debut she wasn’t good enough for. it was drive her crazy. what if this turns out to be a fate worse than kt?

“are we?” chungha asks, tilting her head at her. “what year were you born?”

she understood where the female was coming from-- she herself didn’t really think that she would suit the concept and that she would get rejected, yet here she was-- “don’t they usually have a certain concept in mind--,” to herself she knows they always had the image of and*roma that they had-- she never suited the image... “it’s their time, it’s an opportunity to improve...” she didn’t want to be that person but she sounded like one.

“she’z are mostly good singers,” she nods, “even if they aren’t good singers they are great performers,” she sounds like she is defending the concept when in reality she wasn’t the biggest fan-- “they have made the transformation from innocent pure girls to confident and charismatic women... maybe we’ll get something more like that next month, who knows-- i don’t know but i think you have what it takes, charisma so you just have to be confident through it.”

at least she had learned somethings in nova-- now if she failed here, she’d know this path wasn’t for her and she could give it up, but that wasn’t something she told the others, she kept it to herself.

It felt great to be a part of a group where her opinion was valued or had significance. Chaeyeon is used to following people along, she isn’t a pushover but a quiet voice someone who genuinely is more or less on a neutral basis of situations. So it was safe to say that she felt comfortable and confident with her conversation with Yongsun. 

Chaeyeon hums in agreement, before taking a moment to consider the older’s thoughts. “Yeah, it would have been nice to perform something more recent, if not at least bit more upbeat. Like say ‘Five’ or even Mr. Chu- they give off the pure girl vibes but still managing to main some sort of xfactor into the mix.” Trying to recall other She’z songs that would have been better than the one they were assigned with. Thoughtfully she turned to Yongsun and asked, “how are you settling in with this whole ‘sphere project’ thing? You probably miss everyone in Nova too, cause I do with the KT folks.” Sheepishly smiling hoping she hasn’t crossed the line with Yongsun by assuming things. 

one could say that yongsun had learned from the last time she was apart of something like this, her desire to show her improvement and stand out had been her downfall and now she was here, fighting again to be apart of a debut lineup that she wasn’t sure she suited. the girls were all pretty, they looked youthful-- something yongsun thought she lacked.

while chaeyeon talked about the different songs, she nodded along agreeing-- “i personally think i’m so sick, l.u.v or hush? would have been good options but they don’t suit the pure girl aesthetic that they want,” she smiled and shrugged her shoulders. she had settled on the song even if she wasn’t the happiest with it, “so far, i don’t mind it-- the girls are sweet and it doesn’t feel as competitive as i think the coaches want it to be?” maybe it was just she that thought like that, “there are a handful that i miss, the girls i was close with all debuted last year so-- i guess taeyang, seokwoo and nakyung? but i can go to nova and practice so it’s not half bad,” it wasn’t a dumb thought, she did miss some of them but she had learned to distance herself from people as sad as that was.

                                                                                                        ⊰ ◝ @rkyngsun​ ⊱

- - - 

when he opens the door to a studio, he’s shocked to see a familiar face: yongsun. “yong noona?” once the initial surprise wears off, he knows she wouldn’t be here if she wasn’t a trainee practicing herself. why was she in sphere, though? “what are you doing here?” it’s certainly not a bad thing. in fact, he wants to smile; he hasn’t seen her in a while. he refrains, though, just in case it is bad news for her.

while practicing for the solo of the month, yongsun swapped between nova and sphere. out of habit she always walked to nova first before remembering that she could use sphere’s practice rooms as well. yongsun wasn’t concerned about her vocals, it was true she was concerned with her dancing ( still ), she had never gotten recognized for improving even though she was completely aware that she had improved. thus she was in an endless struggle to show that she could do both even if her voice was her strong point.

today she had managed to get to sphere and as she was practicing-- when the door to the studio opened she could think of a couple names from the top of her head at who it could be, the one name that she didn’t think it’d was the face she saw.

- - -

and just because she feels this way, doesn’t mean that others do.  there are girls who have transferred from other companies for this opportunity and she doesn’t want to destroy their hopeful desperation.  this is something that they want  -  sua doesn’t understand why they’re asking to burn.  her eyes pull to yongsun especially, shot down once by her own company and still trying.  she sighs a little as she watches her practice on her own.  “ the move you’re doing there  -  it should have a little more impact.”  sua finally speaks up.  “ you’ll get noticed more that way.”

˟ ▀  &. @rkyngsun

why was she still trying, was she even good enough for this life? this was a constant thought ever since she had gotten rejected from the final line up of and*roma last year, now around the same time as the supernova project had started she had embarked on yet another journey. a journey she considered to be her last, if she didn’t make it this time, she would leave her dream be-- she always had her previous job to go back to ( a job she had taken a degree to be able to do ).

that didn’t mean she didn’t want to try her best just one last time, the last spurt-- even if the concept wasn’t her desired concept. even when she had thought about it yongsun had wondered, what was her dream concept, what kind of group did she want to be in.

while the practices the she’z choreo she feels her mind and body almost reject the cute moves, the time she had spent to learn how to dance was it going to be used on a concept like this. she was no where near perfect and maybe it was her discomfort that was showing, so when sua ( a far better dancer than she would ever be, it was like dancing was embroidered in her genes, maybe like singing had always been something yongsun had a talent for.

although this is not something that sua is used to doing, letting yongsun go alone to the bazaar itself seems a little less than a good idea.  too many people in a questionable flea market kind of situation immediately makes sua suspicious, especially because she’s already been to the bazaar once now with chungha.  although she’s sure that yongsun didn’t think that this was the reason she accepted her invitation in the first place, regardless  -  even if nothing happens at all, sua agrees that it might be a good way to spend some time together somehow.  even if she’d much rather find herself alone at times.

they finally arrive at the bazaar and yongsun seems as if she’s looking for something in particular as they go in and out of the little stalls.  sua has her eyes peeled instead for other people around them, the frown on her face warning them away if they come too close.  “ what exactly are you looking for?” sua finally asks, turning her attention to yongsun after narrowing her eyes at a couple of guys she caught staring at the both of them.  “ maybe i can help.”

there were many things that she wanted to consider for the group, maybe give them a little braclet or a pin they could have on their bag. in the stalls she saw many different kinds, some zodiac pins and bracelets and also some that were related to animals. while looking at them she wondered who she could put with what animal-- glancing over at sua she immediately thought a swan would suit her, because she looked so graceful when she danced.

for chaeyeon-- maybe a hamster, she smiles to herself small and cute like one. when sua questions what she is doing yongsun takes a moment and considers whether she should be honest or not, in the end, she opts to be honest. 

Taeyang roams the building with concerning thoughts as per usual, it seems as though he can never find a moment in peace where he doesn’t have to worry about a single thing. Perhaps it will always be this way, like some sort of punishment for past faulty behaviour, where karma is haunting him to make sure that he is aware that he doesn’t deserve happiness. 

The kind of mindset is not particularly new to him anyway, it has admittedly been on Taeyang’s mind for years on end already. He find himself staying behind after schedules more often as of late, to preoccupy his mind and to keep from feeling lonely now that his girlfriend is busy– they don’t see each other anymore, even less than before, and it’s tearing on him now.

His distress can easily be mistaken for tiredness, it’s late after all and they are all preparing to perform during monthly evaluations, and he doesn’t have time to put on a mask when he spot someone he hasn’t seen in a while. “Oh? Noona? That’s a rare sight,” he smiles.

╌ starter for @rkyngsun、

if anything she was focused, in between both sphere and nova she felt a little overwhelmed but she wanted to practice for her solo performance in peace and quiet, where she could focus properly and nova was still kind of like home for her. despite everything that was going on in her life-- how unhappy she had felt at nova previously-- now it was almost like safe haven for her.

arriving at nova however had never felt so welcoming and haunting at the same time, so when taeyang calls out to her she can’t help but feel a little calm, “taeyang ah,” she sighs and smiles calmly at the other, “what do you mean a rare sight? it can’t be that long ago that you saw me right?”

✰ ╎ @rkyngsun ;

- - -

amidst her introduction, juyeon glances around the room. it’s happening. after what feels like an eternity of waiting, practicing, dreaming and hoping, everything she and the other girls had been working hard for was coming to life. are all of these girls her future group mates? is she going to end up making the cut? or is she still dreaming? 

it felt like a new world when she had first entered the sphere building, yongsun remembered back when she had auditioned for the mgas. she had listed sphere as one of her preferred companies-- yet she had ended up in nova, for whatever reason whens he couldn’t even debut. it felt a little full circle now that she was in sphere, even though no one but her knew that she had wanted sphere from the start of her journey-- although she was happy where ever she ended up.

with the sphere girls, yongsun is reminded that she is most likely one of the girls that have trained the least amount of time here-- eunji had gotten signed with her during the mgas, chungha was new to sphere and chaeyeon she had come from kt and barley been a trainee for a year. now they were all here-- when juyeon approaches yongsun she is startled at first but smiles up at the female, “hello,” she muses and looks at the other female, “thank you, i am yongsun, originally from nova...” she wondered there was a possibility that she knew and also knew that she had gotten rejected from the and*roma lineup at the last moment.

The days had been a little intense lately. The transitions between the companies have been relatively hard, the location has is farther away from her place and at the same time, being surrounded by new girls and in a new environment. Well, it was a lot, Chaeyeon is just glad that everyone has a sense of comradery despite their career status. 

“Oh, yongsun-unnie” smiling back as she greets her fellow heartz trainee, “honestly, I think it fits the ‘sweet girl’ concept perfectly. Personally, I like it but I know it’s not for everyone, although I wished it was a little… charismatic?” Ending her statement in a question as though she was asking Yongsun if she made sense. After all, her comment felt a little contradictory, “does that make sense?” asking sheepishly, blushing as she ducks her head. 

there were many thoughts in her head as she was deciding how she should be going forward, with chaeyeon here she found it more peaceful. like her mind wasn’t stuck on what would be a constant competition-- she also wondered how chaeyeon was holding up, the younger hadn’t been a trainee for that long and yongsun couldn’t at the top of her head remember if they had ever done an evaluation together.

- - - 

“i’m not a cute person. any and all of my choices for performances can show anyone that. i wasn’t even aware that any of this was going on. i got signed and literally after last month’s evaluations that i only had two weeks to do they told me about this. and i was the only one who didn’t know! so i really think this happened before i was even signed.”

she groans, laying back on the floor. she was not ready for this. but the more she told herself the more panicked she became. “sunbae-nim i don’t think i can sing in aegyo. they should just kick me out already.”

listening to chungha talk, yongsun couldn’t help but feel for her maybe a little-- but at the same time, to get this opportunity just as she has gotten signed, there were many that would do anything to be in chungha’s position. even if she thinks that the older doesn’t judge-- everyone is entitled to their own feelings about a situation and if someone doesn’t feel they are ready then it is only natural for them to be worried like this.

“i don’t really think i am someone that suits these kinds of, pure concepts either--” she nods, finding common ground with the female, “but i think it is a part of an idol's job to also do concepts that they don’t think suits them-- besides i don’t think you will do a bad job, if you feel awkward then you will seem awkward.”

it felt weird giving advice-- but because of the mgas and all of the evaluations up to this point-- yongsun had tried so many different concepts. pure and cute wasn’t one she had attempted yet-- “you have to try, if anything it will be a good learning experience for you... that is what i think. if you wanna learn to sound more aegyo-- sing nasally.”

@rkyngsun

- - -

she jumped onto her feet staring at the mirror in the practice room then start practicing her lines trying out various facial expressions while singing loud & clearly to see what suited more to the routine since she wants to make sure she looked her best while doing it and what would touch their hearts more than others. she’z is that group she always works on doing the song justice since she is quite a big fan of her sunbaes so she couldn’t just give a half-ass performance. during her little practice, she could hear someone opening the door to come in, it happened to one and only yongsun. the older trainee stopped looking like a deer in headlights as she didn’t know who it was at first but once she realized it was her fellow group member her eyes formed into happy crescent moons. 

“Yongsun! Have you came to practice with me??!” 

if anyone were to ask her if she was disappointed, she would most likely be honest with them. she was-- that was her pride as a vocalist speaking, yongsun also told herself that was the reason why she wasn’t picked for and*roma in the first place because wendy ha always been their go-to main vocal-- yet here as well, she had a verse in the group number and of course, taeyeon and eunji were the ones singing that.

she didn’t have anything against the females, they were great singers and suddenly yongsun had to face the reality where she might not end up as the main vocal but what was she if she wasn’t a main vocal. she wasn’t a great dancer ( even though she had gotten much better since she ha become a trainee ), what would that make her.