hee-hee hoo-hoo!

let 👏 actors 👏 have 👏 male 👏 pattern 👏 baldness 👏 again

All right, hold on – is there anyone in this room who wasn't grown in a tube by a shadowy quasi-governmental conspiracy as a living weapon? Anyone at all?

Mine was a sphere

you guys got your own containers? I was grown in a high-capacity vat with the rest of my batch

Bougie mf over here with a high-capacity vat acting like they were soooo much worse off than those of us grown from the fucking SOIL

big fan of whatever the youth is doing to torment scientology buildings

the thing you need to understand is that mario is not a young skinny guy. mario is a kindly old uncle to me. and he's fat, and thats fine. like. he's like an uncle who would babysit you as a kid and he never yells at you and would make you the best plate of spaghetti you've ever had, and when he leaves you can't wait to see him again. he loves going on adventures and he loves his brother and he loves the mushroom kingdom. and like he's a silent character in the RPGs but (to me) in the sense that he's just a quiet, humble guy who prefers to listen and when you're talking you can tell that he's listening and he cares. if you got interrupted in mid-sentence by someone else, mario would ask you to carry on where you left off when there was a chance. if you were walking in a group and you had to stop to tie your shoe, and everyone else went on without you, mario would wait for you patiently. i dont mind if you ship him and peach but to me he doesnt rescue her because of romantic love, he's just a good guy who wants to help out. this is my truth. mario is not Crisp Rat. mario is a nice older man and i stand by this. i love you mario mario.

To me Mario was always like my mexican grandpa. To this day I struggle to not consider him latino.

feels like some of u aren't properly appreciating the fact that he sleeps in a berry patch. and he rolls over and squishes the berries into his fur. because he's so sleepy and content.

maybe people think he's an ugly dog but just to be clear he is actually a beautiful pig

Cyber decks are so cool and I'm so happy we've moved in this direction honestly.

now all we need is a company to start turning ragweed into plastics and for Miku to marry Grok on the ISS.

The fuck does that even mean

Cyber decks are so cool and I'm so happy we've moved in this direction honestly.

now all we need is a company to start turning ragweed into plastics and for Miku to marry Grok on the ISS.

whatever. go my scallops

last night I had the experience of "referencing a tumblr post that you think is widely known but turns out to not be as widely known as you thought it was" last night and it was this post. whatever. go my scallops

You can always tell when someone's idea of some marginalized group comes from shitty movies