needed my saucy batjokes fix

but also he forms a mouth underneath it sometimes

And he also has a...... mouth thats. Lower than that

okay, so the general public when they think of bill cipher is gonna consider him male or like, male adjacent. the results of this blog as evidenced by past polls appear to be that if its a man that isnt annoying that exhibits love for a woman (dracula tepes, milo thatch) then people are gonna say yes and if its any other man its probably gonna be no.

so the question is more "is this character annoying enough for you to say no" in which case, yeah, bill cipher does not meet this standard of like, human framed, "would this person know How to eat pussy and would they be an actual decent enough lover to Want to" BUT I DONT THINK THIS METRIC THAT IS BEING APPLIED FOR HUMANS APPLIES AT ALL HERE. does bill give off Guy Who Eats Pussy vibes? hell fucking no. but he IS a weird little alien that all but textually is suggested to Be Into Sex in Some Capacity (for the bit, mostly, i think) and would not have this odd human metric of eating pussy being like… a green flag. like why wouldnt he eat pussy. i would argue, as we KNOW he has a tongue, him eating pussy is infinitely more plausible than any other brand of bill cipher sucking and fucking, aside from the obvious like. monsterfuckery not translateable to human sex stuff

bill cipher is a little hedonist and we know he has at least some interest in sex. why wouldn't he eat pussy? is the implication that oral sex is considered a giving act, and the idea is bill doesn't give? because A) oral sex can be as satisfying for the giver as much as it is for the receiver and B) bill is known to bestow gifts on/act generously towards those in his favor or who he's trying to manipulate.

the fact that A) there's a debate and B) humans have hang ups/taboos around eating pussy signal to me that bill would do it if for no other reason than because he does whatever he can to go against the grain/societal norms.

eating pussy is often regarded as "gross" within the general male-identifying zeitgeist. bill works hard to present as male (his clothing, his chosen pronouns, his chosen names, the bodies he chooses to possess), and bill loves things that are considered "gross." i think he'd do it to see what the fuss is about!

so my question is, why would a hedonist that likes to do things others consider strange or disgusting not eat pussy? the only argument i can see being made against it is that he isn't a sexual being, except that we know he is to some capacity. whether he's doing it for himself (e.g., he derives some form of gratification from it) or he's doing it as an act of defiance against social norms or he's doing it as a reward/manipulation i think there's far stronger evidence he would than wouldn't.

Me and my Madness ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ🦢˚. ᵎᵎ

Mad Hatter/Reader drabble

warnings ୭˚. dom afab reader, sub mad hatter, premature ejaculation, p in v, slight overstim, NOT PROOFREAD**

a/n ୭˚. I already have riddler stuff coming? so i decided to make this all about jervis <3

Jervis Tetch was a twitchy man. He fidgeted with his gloves as your hands found their way to his chest. He squirmed and blinked madly while you slid off his clothes. He sputtered and talked over himself, in a backwards kind of pillow talk.

“Oh-oh my, you know, I never quite thought you’d— not saying I don’t want you too, of course — but it just never occurred to me that you’d want me this way— o-of course, i’d prefer it too you not wanting me at all, but—Nnghah!”

He’s ceaseless restlessness didn’t stop when you finally begun to tease him, sliding a finger slowly up his shaft, coursing a long whine from him. “You need to relax, Jervis. I’m right where I want to be.”

You spoke without wavering, and without doubt. This actually made Jervis more uneasy, as he’d never found himself in any situation where he was the one being desired — well, without tricks up his sleeve, to say the least.

A hand comes up to brush his hair from his eyes, and you smile, “I’d like this to be a good experience for you,” You begin, as your hand wraps around his cock. He nearly tears up as his breathing shutters. “A sweet boy like you deserves to feel nice.” Your hand delivers one slow pump up his cock, and then down.

However, It’s too much for poor Jervis. He whimpers uselessly, and climaxes all over your hand, and his stomach.

You blink, and his hands shoot up to cover his face, as his eyebrows knot in frustration. “Blasted— oh, dear… I-i’ve spoiled everything!”

Your surprise fades to sympathy, and your hands reach up to take his own, “oh no, baby, you didn’t ruin anything. We can still have fun.”

“But how? I’ve already finished, there’s nothing more for you to do but leave me,” Jervis’s voice quivered.

“Well for starters,” you slide down on the bed, and lean in like a lion stalking its prey, “You’ve made quite the mess, sweetheart. Do you need a little help cleaning up?”

Before he could answer, your tongue was trailing up his body, cleaning him of his seed. The heat and contact was dizzying, and he was already hard again. He whimpered, “Oh my—“

Suddenly, he felt your mouth trail down, once again, and he gasped as your tongue made contact with his dick.

“Hold still, honey,” You say, and he really tries, but your hot mouth against his already throbbing member is too much, and he bucks his hips up. You pull away abruptly; he hisses.

Greedy.

“Jervis,” the authority in your voice nearly tripled. “If you want to feel good, you’re going to have to listen to me. Are you going to behave?”

“Yes,” he breathed, desperately, “Yes. Anything, anything for you— I, ungh!”

You positioned yourself above his cock, teasing his tip against your entrance. “Tell me you’ll behave yourself, Jervis. Say it, baby.”

He could only whine and breathe shallowly.

You sink down slightly on his dick, so he’s partially inside of you, before slipping all the way off. He cries out, “Y-yes! Yes, I’ll behave, I’ll behave! Just please, please I need you!”

“Oh, that’s my good boy,” You remark too sweetly, slowly sinking yourself into his cock.

At this point, Jervis was already losing ability for coherent thoughts because of pleasure. From this angle, the authority you commanded struck him deeply, reminding him slightly of the queen of hearts. Then again, maybe nicer.

“I’m going to start slowly, sweet boy. Promise not to squirm,” You began to work yourself on his dick, and Jervis teared up immediately.

“I— mmph- Ah!” He sputtered beneath you, desperately trying to form a sentence to meet your expectations.

“Use you’re words, Jervis,” you commanded, patiently. You began to sweet up.

“Oh! Y—yes, I— I promise I promise I promise…” He rattled on absentmindedly.

“Very good,” You ran your hands along his chest soothingly, and he shuddered. “What a good little listener you are, Jervis.”

He whimpered at your approval.

You moved faster on him, knowing he would ultimately finish incredibly soon. However, he was being good for you, and you knew how desperate he was, so you obliged.

Looking down, you noticed Jervis was drooling, eyes almost crossing with pleasure. He wasn’t a very attractive man, but he was endearing in his soft spoken nature, his shyness, his desire for love.

His whimpering was high pitched a breathy, progressively getting more intense as he drew closer and closer to orgasm. It sort of hurt, how much attention he was getting, but he knew better than to complain. He knew better than to disrespect your graciousness.

“Oh— Oh— i’m going too— im sorry!” He tried to speak, he tried to warn you.

“Ask me now, Jervis. What do you need?” You replied, keeping yourself together, painfully aware tonight you would not be finishing. That’s alright, there’s always next time.

“Please, my— my queen. Ineedtocum!”Jervis cried out, and you allowed it. He finished with one long whimper, fading in to short tearful breathes.