⌈ — young volcanoes. ⌋

SPENCER: Do you miss your phone? I miss my phone. (Have you found my nudes yet, lol?) But it'd be weird if we had each other's phones and Gabe was answering Spencer's texts.

SPENCER: I also miss my body.

SPENCER: ...

SPENCER: Wait, s h i t.

QUINN: Agreed. I have really smooth legs, too. They look great when I wear dresses, or really right jeans. Ugh, I really look good in jeans. Too bad I never wear them. I should do that tomorrow.

QUINN: I'm halfway through a pregnancy and while I'm usually really good at pretending like nothing is ever wrong with me and I am perfect both mentally and physically, I am going to complain because it is my God-given right as a tired, young pregnant girl with perfect grades, a busy schedule that would be even busier if Sue wasn't an even witch of a woman who is clearly discriminative against those whose body are currently in the process of making another human being.

QUINN: Those words mean nothing to me. Are you trying to suggest eating Gabe? That's pretty weird, but I still love you, anyways. Does that mean you two are happy as ever?

SPENCER: I never wear dresses, but I'm thinking about wearing a dress tomorrow. You can wear jeans, and I'm gonna wear a dress. But we're still gonna look pretty because we're really fucking pretty.

SPENCER: ...but you should also take a nap, perhaps?

SPENCER: No, we do not eat Gabe. Gabe does the eating.

[ PAUSE. ]

SPENCER: ......

SPENCER: Let's ignore that, thanks.

SPENCER: We are. He was a dick a little while ago and I felt like punching him because he's a dumb, dumb boy, but we're good now.

CLAIRE: Its actually great to wear dresses.

CLAIRE: Did you remember to shave?

CLAIRE: Are you sure?

CLAIRE: I wouldnt know, since I dont look at other people's SO's. So Im going to take your word for it Spence.

SPENCER: Isn't it? I might wear a dress to school tomorrow. I wanna feel free.

SPENCER: Of course. I always shave. No wonder my legs feel so nice.

SPENCER: I'm sure!!! Are you okay Claire?

AUD: gross. not the sexy lady legs but the gabe part. not into dudes. i’m only here for that sexy lady vagina

AUD: too much?

AUD: where are you wearing these shorts and getting this yummy coffee? i found a $10 in my jacket pocket and i’m excited to spend money i didn’t earn

SPENCER: Wouldn't expect any less from you, so at least there's that?

SPENCER: I just have a feeling I'm gonna wear shorts for the time being. I like my legs. They're nice and soft.

TONY: ya, shorts are quite nice

TONY: same with baths

TONY: tho i dont really trust you when you say "no other reason. nope" .... whats up spencer ?????

TONY: no memory of it no, but like. ya? he's pretty, ur a lucky girl????? are you okay ????????

SPENCER: Nothing's up!!! I just have a feeling I'm going to be drinking lots of coffee and just act hyper. Mhm.

SPENCER: I'm fine!

PUCK: if feeling's an option i got a deal 4 u

PUCK: it's called the 3sum of a lifetime

PUCK: u, me, ur snacc ass bf

PUCK: think about it

SPENCER: ...

SPENCER: NO??

SPENCER: I don't share, sry.

[ PAUSE. ]

KENZIE: OH

KENZIE: HELLO

KENZIE: I was about to ask how are you but I think I may already know the answer to that

SPENCER: Amused by this point.

SPENCER: But kinda hoping this doesn't last long??

SPENCER: I miss my body.

PUCK: wut would u rate this?

PUCK: askin 4 a friend

PUCK: -- Attached is a nude photo taken in Puck's bathroom mirror. A life size sock monkey is propped up on the counter beside him, one of its hands resting casually upon Puck's flaccid dick.

SPENCER: 0/10. :)

SPENCER: Wanna know what I love about this warm weather? Shorts. Gotta show off these nice legs, ja feel?

SPENCER: Also, I totally took a bath this morning and now I feel pretty.

SPENCER: I’ve had lots of coffee today, so if I seem a little hyper, that’s probably why. No other reason. Nope.

SPENCER: Also, remember when I said Gabe’s a snack? Goddamn, is he a snack. Snacc? Who cares.

KENZIE: wait

KENZIE: who is this???

GABE: You should come over right now. Like right now.

SPENCER: Okay. OKAY. I'm coming.

[ PAUSE. ]

SPENCER: Wait.

SPENCER: You have to come over.

GABE: You need to FREAK OUT. This is weird.

GABE: I don't want this. I love you, but I love my body. I want to be in my body and in my life.

SPENCER: Oh, it is. It's really weird. We woke up in some supernatural... /THING/, and now I have boobs and you have a penis.

SPENCER: Why couldn't we wake up like werewolves and vampires?

SPENCER: That'd be nice.

SPENCER: Not that having your body isn't nice, 'cause it is, babe.

SPENCER: But wouldn't it be nice to be a vampire instead of your stinky boyfriend?

SPENCER: I freaked out.

SPENCER: I think that's why Charlie's here, 'cause he was like is everything okay?

KENZIE: oh god

KENZIE: it happened to you too didn't it

KENZIE: ...this isn't spencer is it

SPENCER: ...nope.

GABE: Remember how I said I've only been mad at you once? I'm MAD AT YOU AGAIN.

GABE: ... why

GABE: ARE

GABE: YOU

GABE: SO CALM

SPENCER: UMMMMM

SPENCER: Because it smells nice in your room, I get Charlie, I get to wear short shorts.

KENZIE: YES

KENZIE: I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED BUT I'M NOT IN MY ROOM

KENZIE: AND EVERYTHING IS LOUD

KENZIE: LIKE ??? DOORS CREAK WTF

SPENCER: Oh.

SPENCER: Oh my GOD????

SPENCER: I mean. That's awesome and all and I'm glad you get to hear everything you could possibly want.

SPENCER: Really, I'm just. Really, really glad.

SPENCER: But. You should text Gabe's phone.