i swear i won't be defeated

So I think its quite possible that one of the three (My bet is Connie) died when they attacked the Armored Titan. They made a big deal to point out that there was one huge weakness with the Thunder Spears. And that was if you pulled the plug without getting out of the way in time youd be blown up too.

Now we see Hange and Mikasa swooping up after they detach from their spears. But Connie, Jean, and Sasha were headed right for it. All we saw was the explosion, and we didn’t see anything after. We didn’t see if Reiner died, but we also didn’t see if any of the three survived either.

As you can see, we can only see two people pulling away here, and their faces are hidden from us, meaning we weren’t meant to know who they are so they could surprise us with a death in the next chapter.

Also, in the very next panel, we see the third figure pulling away, but is much closer to the blast then others, and by the looks of things, it appears as though its missing limbs. Maybe its just the way its drawn, but it me it really looks like that person is missing arms and legs, and again, with the face hidden from us.

The discussion about this has turned downright stupid. Everyone is crying about poor Erwin this and poor Erwin that. Okay, I get it. Y’all like Erwin. Me too! Which is why I’ve given him lots of thought. Because a complex character like Erwin Smith cannot be boiled down to ‘he feels guilty’ & ‘that’s sad! what a tragic figure.’

Erwin has every right to feel guilty for asking people to sacrifice themselves for humanity when all along he’s only wanted to know the secret of the world. If you want to dig even further down, it’s starting to seem like he doesn’t even want to know this to save humanity! HE JUST WANTS TO KNOW BECAUSE HE WANTS CLOSURE. FOR HIMSELF. (This is because of his father. He needs to know if his father was just a whack conspiracy theorist put down to avoid civilian panic, or if he was really onto something for real all along and silenced because of that–because Erwin opened his big innocent mouth and told all his friends. But because he feels guilty about opening his mouth, we know that this is 100% something he’s in for for himself.)

Erwin’s admirable trait isn’t that he feels guilty: it’s that he knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s very self-aware.

What people should be asking is this: does Erwin really feel guilt for what he’s done?

The answer is yes, but the next question is: what does this guilt mean?

And the answer to that is: nothing.

The reality is as follows: the guilt has always been overshadowed by his longing for the answer he’s sought most of his life. Because of this, he will sacrifice all his friends and subordinates for his own selfish goal. And he’s aware that this is what he is doing. He’s aware of the people he’s hurt–that have died for him. People he liked and trusted (Mike, Nanaba, Gelgar). Yet his caring is not enough to overthrow his obsession.

Because obsession is what it is! He’s literally at a point in his life where he needs to know the truth of the world before he dies and he doesn’t care about anything or anyone else–not enough, anyway.

Erwin has been consumed by his end goal. THAT is what’s sad. Not his guilt.

His guilt is nothing in the face of his obsession with wanting to learn the truth about the world–in seeing his father’s theory proved true (or not, but we know he thinks it’s true).

I won’t deny that he’s sacrificed a lot for this…but some of what was sacrificed? Was not his to sacrifice.

And we can argue day and night about how those who join the SC are adults and can make their own choice, but were tricked into it (to an extent). They believed in his speech. Hell, he admits that sometimes he was able to believe in it, too–in his own constructed myth of what the Survey Corps meant under his command. He admits that he took a position of power and used it for his own selfish gains–just because they are not monetary gains doesn’t mean any less. He fooled even those he considered his friends (I mean come the fuck on he tricked LEVI into believing it! Levi! Who watched his friends die in front of him!!!!) and encouraged people to lay down their lives not for humanity’s sake as they believed, but for Erwin Smith’s sake. So he could reach his goals.

That’s scary.

This is not an attempt to discredit Erwin. The Survey Corps was beating their head against a wall (pun intended I guess) for too long. They needed Erwin’s long-range scouting formation because ultimately it did save lives. They needed his fresh ways of doing things.

And it’s not as if he was in this mindset all the years of his command, either; for a very long time he had nothing to go on. His first hint of something was Eren. After that point is most of what we (the readers) see of Erwin, and so really only in the last handful of months has he truly been acting with selfish intentions in mind. Before this, his goal aligned pretty much with everyone else’s in the Survey Corps: fight for humanity (because in doing so I may learn the secret of our world that my father died for)!

But after Eren’s abilities are shown, Erwin’s obsession manifests itself–and quickly. It’s hard to hate him for it, even though it’s terrible of him to be so absorbed in his own fucking world at this point that he doesn’t even involve his ONLY living friends (Hange, Levi–hell, even Nile). The reason for this is probably because we know why he gets obsessive. We know about his past–about his father, about that pre-existing guilt and the desire that his father not have died for naught.

And like I said: no one can deny that he did the Survey Corps a world of good. When his arm was ripped off, he was ready and willing to die, telling a soldier that he was ‘replaceable.’ Erwin doesn’t take pleasure from the deaths of his subordinates. So it’s not as if he is 100% selfishly obsessive.

(2/2) forest of giant trees but even in the scene at Eren’s bedside or after Armin’s first kill, Levi improves upon his interactions and puts others more at ease by making himself better understood. He hears her and she helps him.

I also noticed that Levi always corrects himself when Mikasa calls him out/misunderstands him, like in these scenes:

Levi isn’t very good at expressing himself, and even Hanji is shown “translating” his words sometimes. But when it comes to Mikasa he always elaborates more so she understands where he’s coming from, which means her presence is actually helping him learn to communicate better. Shipping aside, I think their relationship is super healthy and beneficial because they help each other come out of their comfort zones. Levi is learning to speak his mind more thanks to her, and Mikasa is slowly learning to accept and trust people outside her close niche of friends by allowing Levi into her life. 

I like that you brought up how Mikasa’s pain isn’t bluntly dealt with on-screen. Mikasa is so unappreciated it’s not even funny. Her peers respect her, but they don’t appreciate her or make time for her as much as they ought to.

From the very beginning, Mikasa never quite fit in:

Mikasa looks like a lonely girl in a school cafeteria that wishes she could be included with the other girls. This scene happened right Eren walked out on her when she was right in the middle of a conversation. 

Everyone in the squad has someone they could really rely on, but Mikasa hadn’t gained a single new friend since joining the military.

Mikasa is such talented girl, but she’s not vain and over confident, just like Levi. Deep down, I think Mikasa is just extremely lonely and that’s why she comes across as “clingy” because she actually wants someone who treats her the way she treats the one she cares for. And you know what? She deserves to have someone looking out for her. She’s always looking out for everyone but herself, yet she never gets rewarded for her selflessness.

But ever since her and Levi appeared in more scenes together, I can’t help but to feel ecstatic because I feel like she FINALLY found someone who she could relate to, someone who help her come out of her shell, someone could appreciate her and give her the respect she deserves.

Levi isn’t intimidated by her abnormal strength because he’s just as abnormal strong as her. Mikasa isn’t very good at expressing herself, and this is probably why she never made new friends, but Levi isn’t either so they’re definitely on the same social level with each other.

I love Mikasa and I just want her to have SOMEONE who has her back for a change. I want her to have someone who actually takes her seriously and doesn’t dismiss her feelings (even as wild as they may be, like when she insisted Eren was alive after being defeated by Annie). I want her to have someone she can relate to, someone of equal strength she can fight alongside with and protect her, someone who cares about the things she cares about–and the only person who fits this criteria is Levi.  

[Inspired by a brief convo with fuku-shuu]

Scribbles of Rivamika visiting that one rabbit island in Japan, Ōkunoshima.  Mikasa quite enjoys it but Levi gets smothered within seconds.

Levi sketch commission. Thanks Kev! 

http://instagram.com/posmash

I suppose Im not the only one who want to see this badly.

But nobody drew it.

Feudal Japan!Au where Levi’s a shape shifting demon with both a human-like form and that of a fox. 

The ‘smoke’ coming from the Kiseru are souls he harvested from human beings who let down their guard near him. They’re nothing more than toys to him. 

Cut in half to prevent Tumblr from stupidly resizing it. 

hello anon!

i haven’t been reading any new rm fics lately so these are some oldies i could think of off the top of my head

professeur levi by gorillabaseball

the last disciple by chayashix (in-universe)

pavlovian by beschleunigte (nsfw; levi’s a t.a. in this one)

more than a love song by amebelena

forbidden by mikasassqueen (i haven’t actually read this one but i’ve heard good things!)

tension in three parts by nogoshi26 (nsfw; in-universe; one of my fave rm fics and while it’s not strictly teacher-student, it features a bit of that dynamic in it)

as for anyone else, feel free to reblog or reply with your own recs in case i’ve missed out on some (which i’m sure i have!)