Killjoi

& have you ever known a body not to be haunted?

My body is a haunted             house that I am lost in.             There are no doors but there are knives             and a hundred windows.

It tends toward my cousins in Spring, but… yes.

What does it feel like to be lonely? It feels like being hungry: like being hungry when everyone around you is readying for a feast. It feels shameful and alarming, and over time these feelings radiate outwards, making the lonely person increasingly isolated, increasingly estranged. It hurts, in the way that feelings do, and it also has physical consequences that take place invisibly, inside the closed compartments of the body. It advances, is what I’m trying to say, cold as ice and clear as glass, enclosing and engulfing.