Nat

It's just REALLY DIFFERENT now that I'm not in an abusive relationship, I feel like I should re-frame some things and I feel I can do better dissection work.

I mean I WONT re-do it, not on tumblr, maybe I'd edit it into a fuckin youtube series somewhere down the line or something, idk

but it feels incomplete as it is because a) I've noticed even more things b) having anecdotes about-- AT ONE POINT I DONT TALK ABOUT ADORA GETTING HIT WITH A STUN BATON BECAUSE MY EX HIT ME WITH A BDSM CATTLE PROD MULTIPLE TIMES WITHOUT CONSENT IN FRONT OF OTHERS OUTSIDE OF A SEXUAL SCENARIO "TO SHOW OFF"

Like there's just shit that like I shoulda talked about but I didn't feel comfy talking about because I wanted the support and adoration of an abusive woman if she read the stupid she ra rants I posted on tumblr dot fucking com

anyway she sucked I'm doing better now

accidentally got another girlfriend because I pull like nobody else it's my fucking cross to carry but this girl is like

frustratingly perfect

like it's irritating how perfect she is

like I feel how I should like the little lancer bastard I am, she makes me want to improve myself because I don't want to fucking lose to her in this game called love or any other game either I want to win I love her and I want to be the best thing she can fuckin imagine because she's being the best thing I can imagine and it's FRUSTRATING AND I WANNA WIN

I love her even though the start of our relationship was hectic and yanno we were hopping outta some pretty terrible relationships on both our ends before we started really noticing each-other way before we were planning on like

even considering dating again

I have a sci fi series I'm writing by the by

I put my tumblr down as a contact in like a book where my short story about lesbians got published-- so I should probably TALK about my writing more. I'm just uncertain how to do that in an AUTHENTIC way without giving away spoilers and such.

On the left here we have Eda, the protaganist, and on the right we have Artemis. I'm not afraid to wear my inspirations on my sleeve, as I'm sure you're capable of gathering. It sprung from a wellspring of inspiration that She-ra 2018 delivered unto me, but it's managed to distance itself into being quite firmly its own.

I can say this much: because of how publishing works, you likely won't be getting any snippets of the full writing here. I recently reached 24k words, which is around a quarter of where I'm AIMING the full first entry of the series to be.

My conflictions with the work I've put in so far are as simple as this-- I am not very practiced with action as of yet. Of course, that's what I'm working on, here. I'm aiming for a YA audience, but I don't plan to shy away from the more brutal aspects of violence, as that's just-- how I WRITE.

I'm quite confident in the character dynamics I've managed to foster-- Eda is a suitable everyman-- she's very firmly steeped in this world and environment, but I've made her a bit ditzy to the point where her forgetting and being reminded of smaller details doesn't come off as blatant exposition. The dynamic between the two leads doesn't come off as contrived in the opinions of me nor anyone who I've spoken to about it-- nor do people seem confident in taking sides.

With Artemis I've done a good job at showing that she's a very flawed and volatile character, but people don't write her off as being undeserving of love. The dynamic and banter between the two is fun-- sweet when it needs to be, and upsetting when it's supposed to be.

With Artemis especially I've fleshed her out to the point where she's able to make some decisions individually from me as her writer. She's clear enough in my head I can ask what she'd do, and I'll see it without needing to lead her in any direction as her creator. For character work, that's heavily desirable. Eda's approaching that point as well, but as she's a more inherently relaxed and tame personality her less-than-cartoonish nature makes it take longer to foster that level of confidence. I'm still having breakthroughs with her-- recognizing the directions I want to push her character in to make her a more compelling leading lady.

Have I even-- said what it's called yet? It's called The Trinkets you Take. I've spent a lot of time on it this year, and it's been very instrumental on teaching me exactly how my editing process should work. It's also taught me a lot about pacing-- I've been using unorthodox methods to keep momentum going consistently with fewer lulls. As for when I'll have some version of a finished manuscript, I'd predict SOMETIME next year. I tend to binge my work on certain projects-- not always the HEALTHIEST, sure, but good golly gosh do I get that work done.

I spent today actually drafting out the skeleton for the first few action scenes-- this coincided with having realizations about how Eda's dynamic with Artemis seems more natural if it EVOLVES rather than CHANGES. Again, I won't give you the specifics, but the first version of Eda, back when she was named different, in a draft much closer to She-ra where I was flying by the seat of my pants, was VERY passive. And it didn't work. It made Artemis seem like a psychotic little freak, and it made Eda's fascination with her seem very perverse and uncomfortable. As I give Eda more and more agency, she makes more and more sense. Her odder habits stop seeming like surprises. Writing little stories about the pair apart from the main continuity has been a particularly helpful exercise-- exploring them in a world where I have no worry about tying it back to things. Maybe, if you're lucky, you'll get to see some of those here-- but I really wouldn't hold your breath. They're very firmly WARMUPS. I don't have much desire to send them to anyone besides close friends who I imagine getting a kick out of this stuff.