There is no us in us when I'm lacking trust
scary love series -> masterlist
4 times Alex doesn’t trust Luca.
+1 time he does.
first part whoop whoop :D
maybe you remember the summary I posted for a wip game a few weeks ago, this is part one hehehehe, part 2 will be rosquez :))
Alex has been staying as far away as possible from any Rossi associated riders ever since *that* happened. So imagine his face when Luca Marini sat down next to him at a Hawkers PR event.
He didn't see Luca as someone who was looking for trouble, so this was all very confusing to him. Not even going into the fact that the alpha’s presence made him invredibily uncomftable.
He shifts in his chair, trying to seem confident. “Hi,” Luca says softly once he realises that Alex has noticed him. “Hey," Alex replies warily.
He doesn't trust this one bit.
“You looked lonely; that’s why I sat down here, but if you’re uncomfortable, I can go and sit with someone else,” the Italian explains with an ease that almost makes Alex believe him, but uncomfortable his ass, he won’t give Luca an inch.
He puts on his best Mask, straightening his back and a quirky smile appearing on his face. “No, it's fine, don't worry,” he reassures.
“Nice,” the Italian replies and starts small talk about the newest sunglasses collection, which he really couldn't care less about, yet his eyes never leave Luca’s, and he begins noticing things he hadn't noticed before. Like how focused Luca’s icy blue eyes look when he is holding eye contact and how carefully he chooses his every word.
Almost like he genuinely wants to have this conversation with Alex.
Alex will never admit that he doesn't leave the table that day because his omega feels safer with Luca than with all the strangers that are in this room. Or that he actually started relaxing halfway through the conversation, or that he actually ended up enjoying an evening he was dreading for weeks.
Alex drove home that night with an odd feeling settling in his chest. Something was changing, something he couldn't name, not yet, but his omega felt it.
Maybe Luca isn’t as bad as he thought…the scary thought crosses his mind before he can push it away…far away…because he couldn’t…he wouldn’t…
The next time something like that happens is in the paddock and weirdly enough it doesn't feel half as strange as it did the last time, his instincts have been screaming at him to find Marc and to hide away in the nest with him all day, which obviously he can’t do, because his brother is in Madrid, arm in sling, once again, while Alex is here halfway across the world, racing in Phillip Island.
Which is why he has been on edge the entire day, snapping at his crew chief, giving short and unsatisfying answers to the press, which caused his press officer to be annoyed at him. Just a shit day in general, but it all fades away the moment Luca joins him on the small bench he is sitting on.
“Hey,” he says breathlessly, and when Alex studies him, he sees the small beads of sweat running down his face. “Hey,” he replies, sounding more cheerful than he wants to. Luca’s scent wraps around him like cloth; for once, the alpha isn't controlling it as much, and it’s the most calming things he ever smelled, not like any other alpha Alex has ever gotten close to. He smells like vanilla and like a fresh summer day, just after dawn; his scent wraps around Alex, not in an overwhelming way but more like a warm hug; it nearly leaves him breathless.
“I’ve been meaning to ask: how is Marc? Everything okay with the arm? I saw he had to get surgery.”
“Mhhhm,” Alex says, too tired to talk but also protecting his peace, because Luca couldn’t want anything good from this question; none of them ever did… they always go yapping to the press and dragging Marc’s name through the mud.
“That doesn’t sound good,” remarks Luca, and he looks genuinely worried for a second, which straddles Alex because in his mind there couldn’t be any reason for him to care.
“He’s fine, Marini.” The words slip out ruder than he meant for; they carry frustration, but not at Luca per se, but just at everyone who keeps asking him about Marc and him always having to give his answer, never being able to say it’s so fucking shit that they just wanted to celebrate the championship and now this happened.
He desperately wishes that someone in the paddock would be something close to a friend and who would understand, but thanks to the brother of the man who was sitting across from him, that would never be possible.
That man really was his personal devil.
And he honestly doesn’t know why Luca expects him to say anything close to the truth; still, he feels bad about how harsh his words sounded. “Sorry,” he mumbles, dragging his hands over his face as a sign of his frustration. “Don’t worry, I get it; you both deserved better,” he says softly when their eyes make eye contact again. “Yeah,” he sighs and drops his head onto the table.
Luca doesn’t bring it up again after that; his chatter turns into talk about his sessions or just random chatter from the Moto2 paddock. Alex doesn’t talk much, but he also doesn’t tell Luca to leave, which in Luca’s books is already a big win.
At some point, they settle into a comfortable silence as the chatter in the paddock quiets with the sun setting, but Luca stays.
He simply stays by Alex’s side.
His intentions were getting harder and harder to read for Alex.
It’s become a rhythm; somehow, Luca would always find him over the course of the weekend, especially now that Marc wasn’t there and Alex was alone more.
They started having dinner every weekend, and somehow Alex, without even knowing, started telling Luca things, actually telling him how he’s been feeling or how Marc's recovery has been going.
He never told too much, but he told way more than he normally would have.
His omega has been unusually settled thanks to the Italian alpha, especially because he normally is a mess without Marc. Even from Madrid, his older brother has noticed and has been teasing him about “falling for someone,” which Alex has deemed him as ridiculous for, while the older just teased that “just wait, Alexito, soon you’ll see it too”, god sometimes he could really choke the guy.
“Maybe today, after the race, we could go to a nicer place to eat,” Luca suggests, nervousness slipping into his usually calming scent, a scent Alex has learned to love.
“What?” Alex says, not really understanding where Luca wants to go with this, “I meant, we could go for dinner, like a date?” he explains shyly as the blood rises to his cheeks. “Oh,” Alex says, too stunned to say anything else.
This was a bad idea is the first thing his brain tells him, the second though that pops up is a memory, of his call with Marc where he claimed that Alex was falling for someone, little did he know that someone might be the devils brother…this was a terrible idea his subconscious told him while his omega couldn’t help but purr, oh what a mess he was.
Luca looks shocked at the conflict between the purring and Alex’s face, because those things were telling two very different stories…
“Ehh, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he somehow tries to talk himself out of this, no matter how much it hurts his omega.
No matter how much everything in his screams to not do this, to just forget all about the alpha.
“Why?” Luca asks, and Alex wants to die cause he looks so hurt. This was never his intention; all of this wasn’t supposed to happen. “Why can’t you trust me?”
“I trust you.” Alex defends himself, cringing at his own worded cause he really doesn’t trust Luca, and he knows it.
He hasn’t given him an inch, not once.
“No, you don’t.” Luca corrects his statement.
“You’re right, I don’t.” Alex sighs, finally admitting the truth.A small whine slips out before he can stop himself, and Luca’s entire body stills. “Is it because of Vale?” Luca asks, and another whine slips out of Alex’s throat, his scent slipping through the scent patch.
“It’s okay, maybe I can get two pizzas, and we can eat them in your hotel room? I’ll even get you one with pineapple.” Luca softly teases, trying to lighten the mood, dancing around the clearly sensitive topic.
“Even with pineapple?” the Spaniard shyly asks,
“Even with pineapple,” Luca repeats, “I’ll do anything if it means spending time with you.”
Reluctantly, Alex slides closer to Luca until they are sitting shoulder by shoulder. He tentatively reaches out and wraps his arms around Luca’s torso, resting his chin on Luca’s shoulder, painfully close to his scent glands.
Luca’s scent is stronger but controlled; Alex can tell his heart beats a little faster when he realises the alpha is probably doing it to make sure he doesn’t get overwhelmed.
Oh, how could something feel so good but be so wrong at the same time? Maybe he could try to give Luca an inch - just an inch couldn’t hurt, right?
At some point, they end up going out, and Marc also notices who Alex’s is crushing on when he gets a look at his Insta feed. To Alex’s surprise, he doesn’t even bat an eye, and Alex blames his unhealthy crush on the Italians older brother, little did he know things were already much further than a crush, but that is a probelm for future Alex.
So he does go out with Luca, and they do end up being in a relationship, and Alex tries to trust him; he really does.
Today, during the race, when they made contact, his stomach dropped. He couldn’t look at Luca afterwards, just walking to a scooter, head down. He winces when he gets on it; his ribs hurt like hell.
He probably should go to medical, but he just can’t bring himself to, because Luca will be mad; Luca will hate him because he’s been a bad omega, crashing his alpha out.
God, why did he ever let himself believe this could work?
After debrief, he doesn’t go to Luca’s motorhome like they had agreed on, not thinking he’d be welcome there any longer. But he doesn’t go to his own either; he doesn’t make it that far, instead slumping down a wall between trucks somewhere far away from people.
He makes himself as small as possible.
“Everything was so perfect…” he mumbles as the tears he’s been trying so desperately to hold in finally slip out.
He wants Luca to find him, to tell him that everything will be alright. He wants his alpha to wrap him in his arms, drown him in his scent and never let him go again, but he knows that isn’t happening.
Imagine Luca’s shock when Alex doesn’t show up. He’s worried sick, texting Marc, begging him to tell him if Alex is injured, but Marc also hasn’t heard from Alex.
Crashing with you might have freaked him out; you need to find him
the older Marquez texts him, and Luca doesn’t need to be told twice.
He rushes through the paddock desperately trying to get a sniff of Alex’s now so familiar scent; he almost misses it at first, but then he takes another sniff, and he smells it: roses and honey, but not as beautiful as normally; no, it was full of distress, panic and fear.
Luca follows the trail through the truck maze of the outer paddock till he finally sees him, and when he does, his whole heart shatters cause Alex looks painfully small, wedged between two trucks. His head is tucked between his knees, and he is shaking so horribly that it makes Luca’s instincts scream. Protect. Fix.
“Oh, amore,” Luca whispers, crouching down to his eye level. Alex shrinks further into himself, rolling into an even tighter ball, as if that would protect him from everyone’s eyes. Luca shifts closer, simultaneously trying not to crowd Alex but also to show him he’s here and that he is not leaving him alone.
He tries his best to somewhat control his concern, to not let the utter fear and panic he was feeling slip out, cause that wouldn’t help anyone.
After a few minutes, Alex finally meets his eyes, tentatively, and there are still tears running down his cheeks.
“I’m sorry.” Alex immediately apologises as soon as his and Luca’s eyes meet. “I should have known better; I’ll be better, I promise. Please don’t leave me,” he cries, and Luca is too stunned by the confession to even come up with something to say, because Alex is so scared and Luca never imagined he’d have to see his mate be so scared of himself, or rather his reaction.
It physically pains him that Alex didn’t feel safe enough to come to him, but he knows why, and he’ll never blame Alex for it. Instead, he’ll try to make up for it, to earn Alex’s trust every single day. Luca pulls Alex into a hug, holding him close.
He pushes Alex towards his scent gland, not fully into it but close enough, offering. Alex immediately realises what he is doing and pushes his head into Luca’s neck. Luca hugs him a bit closer, causing Alex to let out a painful whine.
“Amore, are you hurt?” he asks, and he tries to push Alex away from him to study his face, but Alex is having none of it, gripping onto Luca with all his power, whining again.
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, baby. I just need to know if you’re okay.” Alex whines again, sucking on Luca’s scent gland in a desperate attempt to calm himself.
“Amore,” Luca tries to regain Alex’s attention, and this time it works; Alex stops his sucking for a minute, whispering a small “ribs” into Luca’s shoulder. Luca sighs, a small feeling of relief flashing through him, not that ribs were good, but just that Alex told him and that he knew how to help, whether Alex would like it or not.
He tries to pick Alex up as gently as possible, making sure to keep the omega close at all times. Alex swiftly wraps his legs around Luca’s waist and pulls himself closer.
Luca makes sure to stay in the shadows, not wanting the press to see Alex like this. The moment they step into the Medical Center, all eyes are on them.
Luckily, somebody is quick enough to lead them into a room, and Luca makes a mental note to definitely tell Marc about this so he can make sure none of this ever comes out. They examine Alex, which is not exactly easy, cause he is still so clearly distressed and clinging to Luca like a lifeline.
Someone tries to lift Alex’s shirt up, which earns them a sharp hiss from the Spaniard, and he desperately tries to shrink back into Luca’s arms. Someone else tries to hold him down while a nurse pushes Luca slightly away.
Alex completely loses it; he grabs Luca, particularly dragging him back to his side. In a desperate attempt for comfort, he pushes himself back into Luca’s scent glands, his vanilla scent wrapping around Alex like a shield of protection.
“Luca,” he whines, “I’m right here, amore”, the Italian immediately reassures, wrapping his arms around Alex. “They’re trying to take you away,” he mumbles, letting his fears slip out.
Luca nudges Alex’s head up with his fingertips. “No one will ever take me away from you.” While Alex still looks doubtful and scared, he eventually reluctantly lets the medic check his ribs.
Alex has never been this happy. He won the sprint, and Luca also had a great race; he’s been waiting for his boyfriend; that word still sounds kinda weird to him.
He made the prettiest nest he ever had in Luca’s motorhome, having made Marc drag half their nesting supplies there. He didn’t even call Marc out on the five trillion VR46 shirts that “somehow” ended up in there, because today he is way too happy.
He won’t spend time thinking about his brother and his weird ass situationship. He'll be mad at him tomorrow.
He made sure to make the nest absolutely perfect, smoothing out blankets and shirt till it looked pretty enough. It sits in Luca’s bedroom, like a gift, cause it is.
Cause to Alex, this means more than any ‘I love you’ ever could; this was him showing pure trust; nobody but Marc was ever allowed into his nest.
This was him giving everything, not just an inch. He gives all of himself, showing Luca every piece of himself, more than he had ever given anyone but Marc.
He knows he can’t say it yet, but he doesn’t need to; he knows that too, because Luca has been nothing but patient and understanding.
Luca is hit with Alex’s beautiful rose and honey scent as soon as he steps into the motorhome.
“Hi amore,” he says into Alex’s hair as the Spaniard pulls him into a rushed hug. “Come with him; I want to show you something,” he hastily says and pulls Luca towards the bedroom. Luca is stunned when he discovers the neatly placed nest that definitely wasn’t there this morning.
He turns towards Alex, his face showing nothing but pure love: “This is the prettiest nest I’ve ever seen.’ The Italian breathes out, „Really?“ Alex asks his expression is covered in disbelief.
"Yes amore. When did you even have the time to do this?” he asks, completely star-struck by the amount of effort Alex has clearly put into this nest.
“After the race, Marc helped me carry all the stuff; you’ll never guess whose t-shirts “somehow” ended up in there.”
“Ewwww,” Luca says, but a soft giggle leaves his mouth. “They are so stupid.”
Alex pulls him towards the nest, getting in it before pulling Luca down next to him.
“Your brother better not fuck this up,” he says while settling in Luca’s warm arms, while Luca can only nod in agreement. He knows Alex will kill him either way.
Alex glances up, “scent me?” he shyly asks, and Luca smiles softly, “always, amore,” and Alex is already nuzzling into the other's neck.
“Te amo,” he whispers while drowning in his alpha's scent, not even realising what he just said.
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this! <3
