RIPTIDEWARRIOR

I've been on a bit of a kick with this Merlin fic idea I got laying in bed last night (spent a significant portion of my work day writing down bits and pieces because i could NOT stop thinking about it) and now i've been home from work for like two hours to my downstairs neighbor POUNDING on something with a hammer soooooo i'm not going to be getting an early night tonight sooooo looks like ive got plenty of time to puzzle over the Merthur angst tonight and eat my body weight in tempura seaweed chips and chocolate

Anyways it's going to be titled "To Forgive an Enemy" after the William Blake quote "It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend" and yes, that will be relevant here

So I guess this fic will have a hefty dose of long-suffering Leon in addition to Arthur and Merlin and Gwaine and damn near everybody else

Join the club, dude. Sorry.

Fandom: Merlin (TV) | Rated: M

Tags: Major Character Death, Not Canon Compliant, Immortal Merlin (Merlin), Temporary Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Comfort, Betrayal, Angst, Whump, Banishment

Summary

When Merlin is fatally wounded on a quest, his greatest secret is revealed. Turns out, that might not be his biggest problem.

A) There are a ton of fruits that get categorised as vegetables. Like this also applies to pumpkins, squashes and cucumbers.

When he find’s out, Shane is like. YOU are fixing this and I am staying with my parents until you do. He leaves the house and starts laughing the second he’s in the car. It’s so them, it’s so Ilya. Shane loves this stupid, goofy man.

He’s so relentlessly amused by this but he can’t tell Ilya that, not yet, no, first he’s gotta send out a mass message of Hi! Ilya and I are postponing our wedding because Ilya may or may not need to get a divorce from Cliff Marleau before we can get married. We will send out invitations with new date as soon as we can. Best wishes! Shane Hollander

(He ignores the dozens of phone calls & texts that meet hit his phone the second he sends that message) (that’s a later Shane problem)

(Shane calls Ilya every night, asking for updates and to see how he’s doing. He is never angry nor is he hurt, he’s just firm about You are Fixing This Mess)

Ilya has never worked faster to resolve something in his life. He spends an amount of money that would make any sane person flinch. Shane sees him three days later with a bouquet in one hand and in the other proof of dissolution of marriage.

So imagine her meeting this sweet little friend of Percy’s that was named after a hero that lost all favour with the gods and died alone on a ship.

And was sailing around on a life or death quest on a ship of that same name.

they get back from the extended family christmas gathering and david says goodnight and goes to bed and these three are in pajamas, ilya and yuna are sharing a bottle of wine, and shane is drinking his ginger ale out of a wine glass because ilya poured it for him and got rid of the can so he "can fit in with the cool people" and they are tearing! people! apart!

they have got NOTES!! they have got PREVIOUSLY GATHERED INFORMATION!!! someone said something off color during the event that had the three of them snapping heads to each other with the understanding of, "oh this WILL be discussed later"

does ilya know all of the people being mentioned? no. does this matter at all? also no.

"and then brenda-"

"do we like brenda?"

*yuna and shane together* "no we hate her"

I think I realized this when I had went to see my dad and stepmom one day and asked if I could place my hawk’s food. (A rabbit leg) in the freezer. My step mom was disgusted by the idea that a leg from an animal was in the freezer meanwhile an entire chicken was sitting in the fridge.

Your rotisserie chicken is an entire chicken.

Your pork chop is a hunk of pig.

Your rack of ribs are from a cow’s rib cage.

It’s like Americans view meat as colorful red and pink hued shapes that just exist and come into the world packaged.

You see so many people getting harassed or even having their content flagged for showing how to process or field dress meat when it’s at it’s freshest. Right after culling. For some reason this is considered “gore” by many folks when in reality it’s no more different from plucking a processed chicken after cull.

You also notice that Americans have an idea of what’s normal meat and what isn’t normal meat and there’s racist undertones that I’ve noticed in a lot of these comments left on foreign cooking videos

You have people that claim a video of a man in a different country preparing something like this is “eating a dog.” Meanwhile this is roasted goat.

You have people who’s only perception of an edible fish is in fillet or fish stick form and they call something like this nasty because “Eww there’s a head!” Yeah.. most animals have heads..

time traveling au inspired by this post by @mountmortar

feat. confused af arthur and tired at life merlin

more of this au