29 and terrible

am I unforgivable or is it just thursday

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

driving 90 minutes to my favorite empty lot to smoke 1 cigarette

This is a really fantastic return to form for this genre of post. In recent years there's been less and less effort put into this vital aspect of internet culture, it's nice to see a return to the truly artisanal work of the late 00s.

Now THIS is what the internet exists for. I was LOCKED IN the whole time.

Give a man a leaf and he will eat it. Teach a man to leaf and he will go away

posts that could have also been in a newspaper in 1910 on a slow day

onion rings but it goes to voicemail

learning to knit and crochet is not enough i need to eat the yarn

Freaky Ted is living up to his name.