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A few ideas on how to answer this.

Multitasker Extrordinaire

My intentions with your daughters are completely noble. I am fully capable of keeping both of the twins happy. I am remarkably dextrous. Last week alone I taught myself how to juggle while your…

Some ideas on how to answer the question.

Honest to a Fault

Well, sir, that is a good question. And by good question I mean thought provoking. There are my intentions and then there is what will actually happen.

My intention is to see your daughter and…

Bored http://wp.me/s2rYim-bored

In this lesson we will learn how to demonstrate self-worth and value by demonstrating that “The Man” is trying to keep you down.

Sun News Network wants to be in your houseand everyone else’s too. However, the CRTC controls which networks are on cable, the…

Who are the people the government represents? Blogging Tory, and ugly website owner, Maggie’s Bear demonstrates the redefinition of “people” very slyly and acutely. In her post Idle No More vs Government By The People For The Peopleshe successfully…

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This is a test page of plugins I have installed to see if they work properly.

link footnotes

Annie

Lorem Ipsum

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Hello. I hope this letter finds you well, and clothed. Even if you are not well, I hope you are clothed. In the past you have provided me with criticism of my performances either during or after the performance. Some of you gave me feed back verbally (some were rather abusive) or written, either email, SMS, or hand written. A few of you left your criticisms in the Comments and Suggestion box I installed by the door. At any rate, I want to thank you for this input and I will take it under advisement. I would, however, like to take this moment to respond to some of the comments I have received.

First of all I would like to respond to the most common criticism. A poor performance does not necessarily mean that I am a virgin. But I do want to thank you for starting to sing “Like a Virgin.” Your dance is forever in my spank-bank. Thank-you for that.

Second, I am very sure that during our dinner together I mentioned that I really, truly love and adore science. And, in my opinion, there is nothing sexier or dirtier than describing the actual mechanics of the act we were performing together. Maybe, just maybe, my reference to you and I being two parts of a simple machine might have sounded strange. But you were very, very wrong when you started referring to my member as being the fulcrum. Yes, I do know that the word “fulcrum” does sound a little dirty. But, strictly speaking, that is an incredibly stupid comment you made. That is why I had to change the topic of our dirty talking. Again, maybe, I should have just tried traditional dirty talk and not talking about the chemical processes that were happening. I did think that “serotonin, seroton-out” was funny. Apparently humour did more than just lighten and soften the mood. I do suffer from performance anxiety.

Third, I’m sorry about the competition I wanted to have with the neighbours who were also getting it on. When you refused to compete with the screams of the girl in the other room, I did the only thing I could think of (other than continuing what we were doing) and that was for me to scream like the girl. I didn’t think that this would have been a turn off for you, considering what you told me about your previous interactions with women, men and other objects. However, somehow this turned you off. This says more about you than about me. I’m just saying.

Fourth, I want to a very specific comment.

It is like buying candy for a gum-ball machine you own. Why would you want to have to put in a quarter every time you want gum? Isn’t that like paying for it again? Also it feels like it cheapens the moment.

This would, of course, be in reference to the condom and tampon dispenser I installed in the bathroom. Where I agree with this comment is with paying for the condoms. Putting in a buck to get something intended for recreation is a bit ridiculous. And, so, I have made them free. I also have cut the tampon cost in half. I am not confortable with someone asking me to borrow a tampon. I would much rather be asked for a buck-twenty-five. I feel the likelihood of being repaid is much greater if it is money rather than a tampon.

Lastly, while I do believe that laughter is good medicine, and I like to make people happy, I am not, repeat not, into physical comedy. That is why my dancing is not ironic in any way, shape or form. Speaking of shape and form. My body is not a cruel joke from god. I would prefer to think of myself as being at least a god-in-waiting form. I realize that I will never be a contestant in a Statue of David look-alike contest. Mostly this is because of the curvature of my spine and the curvature of my… Anyway, it is just plain rude to laugh at someone’s physical appearance if that attribute is outside the control of the person. So take your webbed toes and go home.

Ok, that might have been a little harsh. But I just want and need you to know that I have heard all of your criticisms and will continue to mull them over and try to do better next time. All I can do is try and maybe that is why point number one has occurred more often than I would like to admit. Maybe trying isn’t enough. Obviously the “educational” videos I have been watching are not exactly instructional. At any rate, thank-you for your help and, if you are interested, would you like to maybe come over and provide some extra feedback?

Sincerely yours,

E.R.

Which one of the Conservative Party of Canada’s founding principles is the biggest joke?

A balance between fiscal accountability, progressive social policy and individual rights and responsibilities;

Build a national coalition of people who share these beliefs and who reflect the regional, cultural and socio-economic diversity of Canada;

Develop this coalition, embracing our differences and respecting our traditions, yet honoring a concept of Canada as the greater sum of strong parts;

The Conservative Party will operate in a manner accountable and responsive to its members;

A belief in loyalty to a sovereign and united Canada governed in accordance with the Constitution of Canada, the supremacy of democratic parliamentary institutions and the rule of law;

A belief in the equality of all Canadians;

A belief in the freedom of the individual, including freedom of speech, worship and assembly;

A belief in our constitutional monarchy, the institutions of Parliament and the democratic process;

A belief in the federal system of government as the best expression of the diversity of our country, and in the desirability of strong provincial and territorial governments;

A belief that English and French have equality of status, and equal rights and privileges as to their use in all institutions of the Parliament and Government of Canada;

A belief that the best guarantors of the prosperity and well-being of the people of Canada are:

The freedom of individual Canadians to pursue their enlightened and legitimate self-interest within a competitive economy;

The freedom of individual Canadians to enjoy the fruits of their labour to the greatest possible extent; and

The right to own property;

A belief that a responsible government must be fiscally prudent and should be limited to those responsibilities which cannot be discharged reasonably by the individual or others;

A belief that it is the responsibility of individuals to provide for themselves, their families and their dependents, while recognizing that government must respond to those who require assistance and compassion;

A belief that the purpose of Canada as a nation state and its government, guided by reflective and prudent leadership, is to create a climate wherein individual initiative is rewarded, excellence is pursued, security and privacy of the individual is provided and prosperity is guaranteed by a free competitive market economy;

A belief that the quality of the environment is a vital part of our heritage to be protected by each generation for the next;

A belief that Canada should accept its obligations among the nations of the world;

A belief that good and responsible government is attentive to the people it represents and has representatives who at all times conduct themselves in an ethical manner and display integrity, honesty and concern for the best interest of all;

A belief that all Canadians should have reasonable access to quality health care regardless of their ability to pay; and

A belief that the greatest potential for achieving social and economic objectives is under a global trading regime that is free and fair.