See, there’s nothing inherently aggressive about private messaging someone. People absolutely do abuse the DM feature—I am very wary about receiving them because half the time the messenger is just baiting you to let your guard down so they can immediately screenshot and publicize whatever you say out of context. (Which is awful, and IMO the publication of private correspondence should be considered a lot more taboo and ‘last resort’ than it currently is on this site for the sake of trust and human decency.)
But going straight to public callouts gets aggressively personal and threatening, too. A one on one conversation can be unpleasant and insulting, but it’s literally always better to check in and make sure you’re not misunderstanding something before you drag a confrontation into the public where literally anyone can get involved. Getting doxxed or nearly doxxed because some rando made unflattering assumptions about my personal post is one of the most stressful things that has ever happened to me and if they’d just… talked to me privately first for clarification I could have saved a small fortune in therapy bills, lmao.
I’ve seen a lot of people claim that DMs make manipulation tactics easier. That… really depends on the manipulation tactics. No one coming into your DMs with fists swinging is likely going to be reasoned with, but some people are just assholes in any context. 🤷🏻♂️
whatever security a witness provides is negated if the witness happens to be an axe murderer
theartofmadeline
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