the fumblerr

not to be a hedonist but humans are meant for pleasure. we play, we laugh, we dance. we have sex for pleasure, eat for pleasure. we bare our teeth as a sign of joy, not aggression. humans are meant to enjoy things. its in our very nature.

[very clearly indulging the urge] im fighting the urge

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

four line sentences are good and okay. its cool. you dont need to end your setnence or that thought! add another comma or an em dash. everything will be okay. it makes sense and flows well. #awesome #mybehemothsentence

taking the time to jerk off with just your own hand when u usually default to a pretty heavy duty vibrator is like.... okay so we decided to make our pasta from scratch today

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

I have GOT to stop spending $30