Rikilvrrr

perms:

hands over your face, you let out a frustrated yell. “fuck why can’t i just get this?” you were tired. the world and everyone in it felt like they were moving too fast for you, constantly progressing and advancing through life while you were still here, catching your breath, barely seeing a shadow of their figure. you felt yourself slump against the cold wall, fist pounding against your chest, struggling to breathe as weak winces left your dry lips.

useless. four hours and not a single thing has changed. how pathetic. are you even trying at this point? just give up. everyone is doing so much better than–

“stop,” he uttered, his soft hand grasped your wrist, gently pulling it away from you and down to rest on the floor. “i don’t like you hurting yourself, it hurts me too. it makes me upset, you don’t want me to be upset, do you?” he tilted your chin up and there you met his eye. your knight in shining armor, your best friend, yang jungwon. his hold around your wrist loosened, moving to cradle your cheek, thumb carefully wiping away the teardrop that you failed to notice were falling. “why the long face, pretty?”

he flashed you a smile, one so soft and inviting. a whine left you lips as you lunged forward to wrap your arms around his neck, him reciprocating with his around your waist moving your head to rest in the crook of his neck. his embrace felt so warm, like a safe haven that would welcome you after a long day. “where were you?” you cried, tears soaking into the tan hoodie he was wearing.

“at my own house, angel. i only came by to deliver you some side dishes that your mom made for you… it’s a good thing i came by, huh?” you silently nodded, eyes shut with broken whimpers leaving every once in a while. he felt your grip tighten as he adjusted you, pulling you closer into his lap with a sigh. “let it out, i’m here now.” and let it out you did.

he didn’t say anything as you cried in his arms, not a single peep. all he did was hold you tight against his chest, like a promise that he was there to protect you from all the bad things that would hurt you. slowly but surely you felt your tears dry, breath ease, and body relax like magic. you must’ve been crying for at least an hour, but as you lift your head from his shoulder you only find him smiling at you. dimples framing his mochi-like cheeks, eyes sparkling but eyebrows just the slightest bit furrowed to show his worry for you. there you felt it, your heart turn with a thump and thoughts quicken. “feel better?” he asked, snapping you out of your gaze. his voice was a whisper, considerate so as to not startle you while you calmed down.

“mhm, much. thanks, wonie.” he mindlessly nodded, attention shifting to stroke your head, playing with the ends of your hair. the room remained quiet with him distracted, playing with your hair, and you, distracted with him.

there was something about yang jungwon. something strange yet so special. you always knew he was the kind of person that many easily gravitated towards with his joyful demeanor that would light up rooms, his lovable look that made him seem so cute, the way he could suddenly switch from sweet to serious when the situation called for it, and how heart remained kind despite how cruel the world was. a fool to some, but a heart of gold to you.

your eyes are meticulous with how they take in each one of his features once again, as if the first time wasn’t enough. his supple skin that shone the lightest bit golden under the warm lights, hair slightly curling in on itself showing that natural curl he’s had since before, boba eyes that hold every bit of emotion he expressed on his face, the tips of his mouth sinking into his cheeks as his smile melts while looking at you, cheeks flushed with a rosy pink when he realized that you were looking at him, and teeth shyly poking out to nibble on his lower lip turning it a bright red. so pretty. you nervously reached up to pull his lip from his teeth, frowning as you caress the swollen flesh.

“don’t do that. you told me not to hurt myself, i don’t want you to do that either.” his lips quipped into a cheeky grin, childishly giggling at the furrow between your brows. you sighed, heart heavy in your chest from all the running emotions. “i missed you.” you started, shyly admitting the thoughts in your head, playing with the strings of his hoodies as you continued. “it was really scary without you here a while ago. i was doing nothing, nothing productive, and yet it felt like i was doing everything. there was so much going on in my head and it was so loud and endless and i just wanted it to stop. but it didn’t. it just kept on going and going–”

“hey, hey, look at me.” your sight was blurry with tears. you hated how weak you were like this. “you’re safe now, okay? nothing can harm you, not even those thoughts of yours.”

“everyone is moving forward, wonie. and i feel stuck here. it’s like quicksand the way that, no matter how hard i try to get out, i just end up sinking deeper… it was suffocating. i couldn’t breathe!”

“yn,” he grabbed your hand and pressed it against his chest, right where his heart was. thump thump thump. it was steady, loud against your palm. thump thump thump. was his heart always this fast? “the only thing you’re sinking into are those negative thoughts of yours. angel, it’s okay to rest. you don’t always have to push yourself when you’re tired. i can promise you that even if you take a break, you’re not falling behind. everyone moves at a different pace, they have good days and they have bad ones, it’s normal.” his other hand raised and lowered in the air, face obnoxiously guiding you to breathe in and out with every motion. “it’s natural to want to do your best, but that shouldn’t come at the cost of your health and mental well-being.”

“then what am i supposed to do? you and i both know that this won’t be the last time it happens!”

“then call me! text me. i don’t care. i just want to be there for you at times like these. i like you enough to want you and protect you even when you’re spiraling. just tell me and i’ll be there to hold your hand, wipe your tears, hug you tight, make you listen to how hard my heart beats because of you. if you want to sit in silence, then i’ll be quiet. if you want to be distracted, then i’ll talk forever. if you’re sporting a frown, then i’ll pull funny faces after comforting you just to make you laugh.” he rambled, eyes digging into yours as he spilled his feelings for you. “don’t shut yourself in when i’m more than willing to help you.”

you froze, watching as his chest went up and down, breathless from his rant. his cheeks flushed a deeper red and mouth turned to a frown from how painful his heart hurt. so many words but all you could focus on was, “jungwon, you like me?”

his eyes widened, fingers squeezing your hip as he replied a breathless “yes. for a while now. a year or so, maybe longer.” wow. jungwon liked you. your best friend liked you. no more was your head stressing over pace, future, nothingness. now it could only repeat his confession, yelling at you to reply to the one trust.

just confess already! don’t go telling yourself that you don’t like him, when we all know that you like this man. for fucks sake, he’s the only one who could calm you down with a hug. that’s romance. kiss!

before you could stress any further, you closed the distance between you two. it hits you instantly. fireworks. a feeling that you didn’t expect to happen, burying it deep in your heart to not ruin your friendship. but those feelings only developed, coming up to make butterflies flutter in your stomach. you feel him stiffen and you pull away slowly. “i-i’m sorry, i just– you said you liked me and i realized i liked you too. and i just really wanted to kiss you then,” your words got slower and quieter as your sentence dragged on. maybe that was too sudden. he just confessed and everything.

as if sensing your mind start to stress, he held your cheek and pulled you into him once again. “payback,” he muttered against your lips, a smirk forming before his thumb brushed the skin by your ear. his words made you scoff into the kiss, lips soon melting into his as if this was where you two were meant to be all along. jungwon tilted his head, creating a new angle that allowed him to deepen the kiss with his hand lowering to cradle the back of your neck. his tongue moved to lick your bottom lip, begging for entrance only to be met with a little shake of your head. he huffed in annoyance, teeth suddenly biting your lip catching you by surprise with a gasp.

he easily slipped his tongue in, holding you tighter against him when he felt your grip on his hoodie start to falter. “focus, pretty.” your tongue bumped against his as you tried to copy his actions, breath quickening and the heat between you two growing hotter. it was intoxicating. he tasted like sugar, probably from the gummies he ate on his way over, the ones he always keeps on him as a little treat. with every kiss, bite, and breath swapped between the two of you, it only further confirmed your feelings for one another. an intense kiss, fueled not from the heat of the moment but from all the feelings that you two kept hidden thinking it was never reciprocated. it was getting harder to breathe again and as his grip moved to thighs, pulling you impossibly closer, did you become aware of how pressed up you were against him. it was dizzying how addicting his kiss felt.

“jungwon, hah... need to breathe,” you sighed, trying to pull away simply to find him leaning further in your direction to keep your lips connected. he successfully managed to attach his kiss swollen lips against yours, both of you laughing with silly smiles on your faces. “you’re so annoying. keep kissing me and my head’s gonna be stressed out again with thoughts of you this time.”

“oh no, what horror. don’t worry, pretty. if it ever gets too loud,” he tenderly guided your hand back to his chest, resting on his heart. just like before, thump thump thump thump. his heart loud against your palm, ringing in your ears with its vibrations. thump thump thump thump. “just remember my heartbeat, the way it strums a melody, fast but beautiful all because of you.” jungwon was obsessed, finding himself completely lost in you and the way you tasted. he felt his heart continue to thump in a frenzy, beyond elated at the feeling of you softly laughing against his lips, a giddy grin on your face. “or you could just kiss me. either works.” he joked, teeth fully on display when you pulled back with a bubbling laugh.

“hmm, i might just have to take you up on that offer.”

“i look forward to it!” and with his fingers guiding your chin back to his lips for the third maybe fourth time today, all you could think of was how grateful you were to have jungwon by your side to ease both your brain and heart, with his words and kisses.

FROM YAN 🐰 ➤ idk how this idea hit me but it has and you all have to bear witness bc i think it's funny and i have to materialize it. :3 part two will be coming out soon. will open one tag list for it so just lmk !!

PERMANENT TAGLIST  ➤  @mariegibeau @kristynaaah @ikeukiss @zerocoded @alex-is-sleeping @ntxs1 @angelhyuka @tsukheeshima @clxssy1997 @cripplinghooman @xoxo-seraphine @jakeycakeys @neozon3nha @jakeycakeys @vmpiricou @ja4hyvn @luv4dani @nightcat101 @wonkiipiilled

COD TAGLIST  ➤  @xolaufeyberry @sleepymochiiii @rikingrinse @katalior

The Kingdom of Elias worshipped three things above all else. The Crown. The Gods. And bloodlines. In that order.

A noble's worth was measured by the name they carried. A shop owner’s worth was measured by how much he earned. A soldier’s worth was measured by victories.

And the daughter of a blacksmith? She was supposed to be worth nothing at all. Yet somehow, everyone in the kingdom knew your name.

Perhaps it was because your father never stopped talking about you. Or perhaps it was because people genuinely believed the old man's ridiculous claim.

"My daughter is the Moon Goddess reborn."

Every person in the capital had heard him say it. Every market vendor rolled their eyes whenever he brought it up. Every noble laughed.

Yet none of them could explain why the entire room always seemed brighter whenever you entered. None of them could explain why flowers bloomed unusually well around your home. None of them could explain why even the grumpiest villagers softened whenever you smiled at them.

Your father certainly couldn't. He simply crossed his arms proudly and declared that he was right. As always. "My daughter was blessed by the moon."

The man was impossible. Your brothers agreed. All four of them.

Unfortunately, that meant you had five overprotective men in your life. Your father. And your four older brothers. It was unbearable.

─ · ✿ · ─

"You're not going," your oldest brother, Seo-jun, shook his head.

"I am," you replied.

"You're not," Min-hyeok agreed. 

"Yes."

"No," Tae-rin patted your shoulder almost sympathetically even if he was disagreeing too. You glared across the breakfast table. Seo-jun glared back. The rest watched the argument unfold.

"I am attending Decelis Academy," you repeated.

"You're not," Ha-jun, your youngest brother, laughed as if your ideas of leaving where hilarious.

"I was accepted."

"You can reject it."

"I earned my place."

"You can still reject it."

You wanted to throw bread at him. Instead, you settled for kicking his shin under the table. He yelped. Victory.

Your father immediately pointed at him, "See? My angel-daughter has spoken."

"Dad."

"What?"

"You cannot keep calling me that."

"I absolutely can."

Your Tae-rin groaned and Min-hyeok rubbed his face. Seo-jun looked ready to jump out a window as Ha-jun simply laughed again- like he found your suffering funny. Your father remained completely serious.

"You were born under a full moon."

"Dad."

"The moonlight turned silver-" he continued.

"Dad."

"The village priest cried-"

"Dad."

"The cows started mooing-"

"The cows always moo!"

"I know." You buried your face in your hands and the table erupted into laughter. For a moment, warmth filled your home. For a moment, everything felt perfect.

Then your father spoke again, "Any boy who looks at my daughter loses his eyes." The warmth vanished immediately and- of course- all four brothers nodded. 

You stared at them in horror. "WHAT?"

"Reasonable," Seo-jun spoke.

"Completely reasonable," Min-hyeok nodded.

"Very reasonable," Tae-rin agreed.

"Honestly, we should take their hands too," Ha-jun suggested calmly.

You nearly choked, "No one is taking anyone's eyes!"

Your father snorted, "We'll negotiate, sweetheart."

"DAD!"

Unfortunately for you, they were only half joking. Unfortunately for every young man in the kingdom, they were only half joking. Because you were adored. Absolutely adored. And nowhere would that become more obvious than Decelis Academy.

─ · ✿ · ─

The buildings stood upon a mountain overlooking the capital. Ancient stone towers pierced the clouds. Silver 'WELCOME STUDENTS!' banners fluttered against the wind. Future rulers, generals, scholars and nobles studied within its walls.Only the kingdom's most talented students could attend. Which was why many nobles were furious about your acceptance.

A blacksmith's daughter. Among aristocrats. Among heirs. Among future lords.

Scandalous. You didn't care, you had worked too hard, studied too much, sacrificed too many nights. No one would take this from you, not even nobles- especially not nobles. The academy gates opened and students poured inside.

─ · ✿ · ─

Carriages lined the roads.

Expensive fabrics. Precious jewels. House crests. Power. Everywhere.

You adjusted your books, lifted your chin and walked forward.

Immediately, people stared. You ignored them. Then someone collided into you. Books crashed. Papers scattered. A groan followed.

"Watch where you're—" The stranger froze. You froze. The boy kneeling among scattered books looked around your age. Dark eyes. Handsome features. Expensive uniform.

Noble. Definitely noble. Unfortunately.

The boy stared. And stared. And stared.You frowned, "Are you alright?" No response. His mouth opened slightly. Still nothing. A second boy suddenly appeared. Then another. Then another. And another. And another. Until six other young men stood around him.

All nobles. All staring. You were beginning to feel concerned.

"What happened?" a boy with soft eyes and gentle asked. The kneeling boy pointed at you and you blinked as they looked at you. Silence. 

Then one of them whispered, "Oh."

Another whispered, "Definitely oh."

A third whispered, "Completely oh." You had no idea what was happening. Then the kneeling noble finally stood, his eyes never left yours. 

"Hello."

You raised an eyebrow, "Hello."

The silence returned. The other boys exchanged looks. One visibly fought laughter. Another looked horrified. A third pinched the bridge of his nose.

Finally, one sighed, "He's broken."

"What?"

"Completely broken." You blinked. The noble in front of you still hadn't looked away. He extended a hand.

"My name is Lee Heeseung." Something about the way he said it felt important, as though he expected recognition.

You simply shook his hand, "Nice to meet you, Heeseung."

His friends looked excited. Heeseung looked hopeful. You smiled politely. Then walked away.

The seven nobles remained frozen. Several moments passed. Finally, one spoke, "She doesn't know who you are."

Another burst into laughter. A third nearly fell over. Heeseung stood motionless. Completely devastated. Because for the first time in years— someone had treated him like an ordinary person.

And somehow...

He liked it.

─ · ✿ · ─

The next few months changed everything. Mostly because Heeseung became impossible. Absolutely impossible. You saw him everywhere.

Library? Heeseung. Courtyard? Heeseung. Dining hall? Heeseung. Garden? Heeseung. Hallway? Heeseung.

At first you assumed coincidence. Then you discovered he had changed his study schedule three times just to match yours.

You discovered he sat near you whenever possible. You discovered his friends regularly abandoned him so he could speak with you. You discovered he was shameless. Utterly shameless.

"Good morning," he whispered for the third time that lesson.

"You said that already."

"I missed you."

"You saw me ten minutes ago."

"It was a difficult ten minutes."

You stared. He smiled. Infuriating. Months passed. Friendship grew. Slowly. Steadily. Against all logic.

Because despite his ridiculous behavior... He was kind. Painfully kind. He remembered everything. Your favorite books. Your favorite flowers. Your favorite tea. The subjects you struggled with. The subjects you loved. He listened. 

He cared. And worst of all—

you started looking for him too. The realization terrified you.

─ · ✿ · ─

One winter evening, snow drifted outside the academy library. Most students had returned home. Only a handful remained. Including you. And including Heeseung.

You sat across from each other studying. Or at least pretending to study. Heeseung had read the same page five times. You hadn't read yours at all.The silence felt different tonight.

Heavy. Expectant. Dangerous. Finally, Heeseung closed his book.

"(Y/N)."You looked up. His expression was serious. Far too serious. 

Your heartbeat quickened, "What is it?"

"I need to ask you something."

The room suddenly felt smaller. Outside, snow continued falling.Inside, neither of you moved. "What?"

He swallowed. Then stood, "Come with me."

─ · ✿ · ─

The gardens of Decelis were famous throughout the kingdom. Flowers bloomed among silver fountains. Crystal lanterns illuminated winding paths. Winter snow glittered beneath starlight.

It looked almost unreal. You followed Heeseung deeper into the gardens. Neither of you spoke. Your heart was racing. His was worse. Far worse.

Finally he stopped beneath a moonlit archway. For several moments, neither moved. Neither breathed. Then Heeseung turned toward you.

And everything changed. Because for the first time since you met him... There was no teasing.No laughter. No confidence. Only honesty. Raw. Terrifying honesty.

"(Y/N)," he said quietly. Your breath caught. His eyes never left yours. "I've liked you for a very long time." The world seemed to stop.

Snow drifted around you. Moonlight painted silver across the garden. And Heeseung continued, "I tried not to, it didn't work." A nervous laugh escaped him. "I thought it would."

His hands trembled slightly. "I thought if I waited, it would disappear."

It hadn't. You could hear it in every word. Every breath. Every heartbeat. His feelings had only grown stronger. "And now?" You whispered.

His gaze softened, "Now I think about you constantly." The confession struck like lightning.

You couldn't move. Couldn't breathe. Couldn't look away. He stepped closer. Only slightly. Enough. "Will you let me court you?"

The question hung between you. Simple. Terrifying. Life-changing.

Your heart pounded because the answer had been growing inside you for months. Every smile. Every conversation. Every stolen moment. Every ridiculous greeting. Every shared laugh. Every glance.

You already knew. And so did he. You smiled- a small smile- but it was enough. "Yes." For a moment, Heeseung simply stared. As though he couldn't believe it.

Then the realization hit. And his entire face lit up. The joy there was so pure it nearly stole your breath.

He looked happier than anyone you had ever seen. And under the moonlit sky- the future seemed endless.

Neither of you noticed the figure watching from a balcony above.

Lady Lee.

Heeseung's mother. Her face cold. Her eyes sharp. And her expression furious. Because the future her son envisioned... Was not the future she intended. And she would do everything in her power to destroy it.

─ · ✿ · ─

Lady Lee did not sleep that night. Neither did Heeseung. Neither did you.

For very different reasons. You lay awake in your small room at the academy, staring at the ceiling as snow continued falling outside.

Your heart refused to calm. Every time you closed your eyes, you saw him. The way his hands had trembled. The way his voice had cracked. The way he had looked at you after you said yes.You smiled into your pillow despite yourself. Then immediately buried your face in it. This was ridiculous.

You had never been the sort of girl who daydreamed about romance. You had spent most of your life studying, helping your father, dodging your brothers, and trying not to get dragged into village gossip.

Yet somehow Lee Heeseung had appeared and ruined everything because now your heart was doing strange things. And you hated it. Mostly.

─ · ✿ · ─

Meanwhile, Heeseung was having a far worse evening because his mother had summoned him. Immediately. The moment you left. The doors of Lady Lee's private chambers closed behind him. The sound echoed. Dangerously.

Lady Lee stood near the fireplace. Elegant. Perfect. Terrifying.

The resemblance between mother and son was obvious. The same sharp features. The same dark eyes. The same commanding presence.

Unfortunately, Lady Lee possessed none of her son's warmth, "Heeseung."

His jaw tightened, "Mother."

"Who is she?" Straight to the point. Of course.

Heeseung didn't pretend ignorance, "(Y/N)."

"The blacksmith's daughter."

The words dripped with disdain. Something ugly twisted inside him, "She has a name."

Lady Lee's eyes narrowed, "You forget yourself."

"No," His voice was calm. Dangerously calm, "I remember exactly who I am."

The silence that followed felt sharp enough to cut skin. Lady Lee studied him carefully. Then sighed-like she was disappointed. "As your mother, I am attempting to save you from making a mistake."

The anger inside him grew, "(Y/N) is not a mistake."

"She is a commoner." The words struck like a slap. His hands clenched. Lady Lee continued, "You are a lord's son."

"Second son."

"That changes nothing."

"It changes everything." His voice rose for the first time, "You know it does."

The room fell silent. Because they both knew the truth. Heeseung would never inherit the titles. His older brother- Lee Heedo- would.

His future had always been different. Less restricted. Less political. Less important.

Yet somehow his mother still expected perfection. Still expected obedience. Still expected him to marry according to status. According to power. According to blood.

Never according to love. "End this," the command rang through the room. Heeseung laughed. A single sharp sound. Lady Lee looked startled.

Then offended. Then furious.

"No."

The word landed like a sword strike. "No?"

"No," Lady Lee stared. Her son had never spoken to her like this. Not once. Not ever. Yet here he stood. Meeting her gaze directly. Refusing.

Over a girl.

A blacksmith's daughter.

The realization made something cold settle inside her. Fine. If Heeseung would not end this willingly—She would end it herself.

─ · ✿ · ─

The next morning, you walked into class and immediately knew something was wrong.Heeseung looked murderous. Actually murderous. You paused beside his desk, "Good morning?"

He looked up. The murderous expression disappeared instantly, "Oh."

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

"You look like you're planning a crime."

"Only a few." You blinked. Heeseung smiled. But the smile didn't reach his eyes. Not entirely.

Something had happened. Something important.

Before you could ask further questions, arolled up piece of paper struck the back of Heeseung's head. He didn't even flinch, "Ow."

"You deserved that," Jake lowered his arm, Sunghoon nodded, Jay looked unimpressed, Sunoo looked entertained, Jungwon looked exhausted, Riki looked curious.

The entire friend group had arrived. Unfortunately.

"What did I do?"

Jake stared, "You disappeared."

"Yes?"

"You abandoned us."

"Mum."

"You missed dinner."

"Okay?"

"You have a girlfriend for one night and suddenly forget your friends exist." The classroom exploded into laughter. You nearly choked. Heeseung looked smug. You wanted the floor to swallow you whole.

"He's not my—"

"Courting partner."

Jay interrupted, "Potential future wife."

Sunoo added, "Future mother of his children."

Riki smirked subtly. You nearly died. Absolutely died. Heeseung looked delighted. "Thank you, Sunoo."

"You're welcome."

You covered your face. The boys continued arguing. The teacher eventually arrived. Order returned.

Mostly.

But one thing became painfully clear. Everyone was going to know. Soon. Very soon.

─ · ✿ · ─

The disaster arrived two weeks later. In the form of your brothers. All four of them. At once.

You were walking through the academy courtyard with Heeseung when a familiar voice echoed across the grounds, "(Y/N)!"

You froze. Heeseung froze. Slowly. Very slowly. You turned around and immediately wished you hadn't.

Because Seo-jun was standing there. Alongside Min-hyeok. Tae-rin. And Ha-jun.

The Four Horsemen of Your Personal Apocalypse, "Oh no."

"What?"

"Oh no."

Heeseung finally noticed them, "Who—"

"My brothers."

"Oh." A pause. Then another. Then:

"Oh no."

Now he understood. The four men approached. Their expressions growing darker with every step. Particularly when they noticed Heeseung standing beside you.

Very close beside you. Far too close. Ha-jun pointed, "Who is that?"

You considered lying. Unfortunately, Heeseung stepped forward. And bowed politely. "My name is Lee Heeseung."

Traitor. Absolute traitor.

The brothers exchanged looks. Dangerous looks. The kind of looks soldiers exchanged before battle. "Lee?" Seo-jun repeated.

"Yes."

"The noble family?"

"Yes.""The lord's son?"

"Yes." Silence. 

Then: "No."

Heeseung blinked, "No?"

"No."

"You don't even know what I'm asking."

"I know enough," Seo-jun crossed his arms, "You are not courting my sister."

The courtyard became completely silent. Students immediately began watching. Of course they did. You wanted to disappear.

Unfortunately, your family prevented that. Frequently.

"I'm not asking permission." The words left Heeseung's mouth before he could stop them. Your brothers stared. You stared. Even Heeseung looked shocked because that had been a terrible thing to say. A truly terrible thing to say. The resulting silence was horrifying.

Then Seo-jun smiled. That was somehow worse. Much worse. "Interesting."

Min-hyeok nodded slowly, "Very interesting."

Tae-rin cracked his knuckles. Ha-jun looked delighted because chaos was his favorite hobby.

"Oh, this is going badly," You whispered.

Heeseung whispered back, "I noticed."

And somehow against all logic of the situation—You almost laughed.

─ · ✿ · ─

The first letter arrived three days later. Lady Lee's seal gleamed upon the wax. You frowned. Then opened it and your blood ran cold because the contents were clear.

Painfully clear.

'You are not suitable for my son.'

You read the words once. Twice. Three times. Each reading made your stomach twist further.

She spoke of bloodlines. Status. Reputation. Duty.

Everything nobles valued. Everything you lacked. The message beneath the polite language was unmistakable.

'Leave him.'

You folded the letter carefully. Then walked home. Your father was working. Sparks danced through the air. The familiar sight usually comforted you. Today it didn't. Immediately, he noticed. His hammer lowered, "Sweetheart."

You swallowed, "Dad."

His expression changed instantly. The smile disappeared, "What happened?"

You handed him the letter. He read. Once. Twice. Then a third time. The air became very still.

"Dad?" No answer. "Dad." Still nothing.

Slowly, your father folded the letter, placed it on the table, then rolled up his sleeves. You stared, "Dad?"

"Where is my hammer?"

Your eyes widened, "Dad."

"Just asking."

"Dad."

"Perfectly innocent question."

"DAD."

The forge door suddenly opened and your brothers entered. Unfortunately. Your father immediately handed them the letter. You watched all four read it. You watched all four become angry. Very angry. Perhaps murderously angry.Your headache arrived immediately. 

Because this situation had somehow become worse. And you were fairly certain nobody had reached peak anger yet.

Not even close. Especially not Lee Heeseung. Who had not yet discovered what his mother had done.

When he did—

The kingdom itself might have reason to worry.

─ · ✿ · ─

The kingdom had much more to worry than expected because Heeseung discovered the letter the very next day. And he was furious.

Not the quiet irritation his friends were accustomed to. Not the mild annoyance he displayed when Jake stole food from his plate. Not even the dangerous anger he showed during academy tournaments.

No. This was different. This was the kind of fury that settled deep in a person's bones. The kind that remained. The kind that changed things.

Forever.

─ · ✿ · ─

You were sitting beneath the old oak tree near the academy gardens when Heeseung found you. Immediately, you knew something was wrong. His uniform was immaculate as always. His posture was perfect. His expression was calm. Unbothered.

The sort of calm people possessed right before disaster struck.

"Heeseung?" No response. Your stomach dropped because he only ignored you when something was truly wrong.

Slowly, he approached. Then held out an envelope. Your blood ran cold. The letter. Lady Lee's letter, "Oh." The single word escaped before you could stop it. 

Heeseung's jaw tightened, "She sent this to you." Not a question. A statement.

You swallowed, "Yes."

"When?"

"Three days ago." The silence that followed felt unbearable. Students passed nearby. Birds sang. The world continued turning. Yet somehow everything felt frozen.

"You didn't tell me." You stared at the ground because he wasn't wrong. You hadn't told him. Partly because you didn't want to worry him. Partly because you knew exactly how he would react. And judging by his expression—

You had been right, "I handled it."

"No," his voice cut through the air. Sharp. Precise. “You shouldn't have needed to." The anger beneath the words startled you. Not because it was directed at you. Because it wasn't. Every ounce of it was aimed elsewhere.

At Lady Lee. At the expectations surrounding him. At every person who believed they had the right to decide your worth, "(Y/N)."

You looked up. His eyes softened immediately. Just for you. Only for you. "You should never have had to read that." Something tightened painfully in your chest. Because nobody had said that. Not your father. Not your brothers. Not even yourself. 

Everyone had focused on the insult. The injustice. The anger. Only Heeseung focused on the hurt. The fact that someone had deliberately tried to make you feel lesser. And he hated it. You could see it. You could feel it.

His anger wasn't pride. It wasn't possessiveness. It was heartbreak. For you. And somehow that made everything worse. Because suddenly you wanted to cry. Which was ridiculous. You never cried. Almost never. 

Yet Heeseung looked at you as though the letter had wounded him personally. As though your pain belonged to him too. Without thinking, you reached for his hand. His fingers immediately intertwined with yours. Natural. Effortless. As though they'd been doing it forever.

The realization sent heat rushing to your face. Heeseung smiled slightly. The first genuine smile all day, "There you are."

"What?"

"I've been looking for that smile."

You scoffed quietly and the moment shattered. Thankfully. Because if he kept looking at you like that—You might've forgotten how to speak entirely.

─ · ✿ · ─

Unfortunately, someone else witnessed the interaction. Lady Lee. Again.The woman seemed to appear whenever she was least wanted. Which was always. She had arrived at the academy to attend a noble council meeting.

Instead, she found herself standing in a stone corridor overlooking the gardens. Watching. And what she saw horrified her. Not because you were holding hands. Not because Heeseung looked happy.

But because he looked devoted. Completely devoted. The sort of devotion people wrote songs about. The sort of devotion that ignored reason. Ignored status. Ignored logic. Ignored consequences.

The sort of devotion that could not be controlled. And Lady Lee despised anything she could not control.

─ · ✿ · ─

The rumors exploded by week's end. They spread through Decelis Academy like wildfire. The blacksmith's daughter. The lord's son. The impossible romance.

Students whispered during lessons. During meals. During training sessions.

Everywhere. Most were supportive. Some were curious. A few were cruel. One particularly foolish noble girl approached you during lunch.Her smile was sweet. Artificially sweet. The kind that usually preceded unpleasantness, "You must feel very fortunate."

You looked up from your book, "What?"

"Lord Heeseung," she laughed lightly, "As a commoner, opportunities like this don't come often."

The table went silent. Completely silent. You recognized the trap immediately. Unfortunately, so did everyone else. Including Heeseung. Who happened to be sitting directly beside you with his arm around your shoulders.

The girl has made a mistake. A terrible mistake.

Because now the noble girl had purposely insulted someone Heeseung cared about and he was already angry.

The combination was unfortunate. For her. "What exactly do you mean by that?" The question sounded polite. Almost gentle. 

The girl relaxed.bAnother mistake, "I only mean she should know her place."

The dining hall froze. Completely froze. Hundreds of students stared. Waiting. Watching. Heeseung slowly set down his fork. Then stood.The movement alone made the girl pale because suddenly she realized something. 

The problem wasn't that a noble was courting a blacksmith's daughter. The problem was that the noble in question was Lee Heeseung.

And Lee Heeseung looked ready to start a war, "Her place?" His voice was terrifyingly calm. The girl swallowed. No response. Heeseung stepped forward. Just once. Yet somehow it felt threatening. "If you ever speak about her like that again—"

"Heeseung," Your voice interrupted him. Immediately. Instantly. His attention shifted. The anger disappeared.

Not completely but enough. The transformation stunned everyone. One moment he looked furious. The next he looked at you. And softened. As though the world itself revolved around your opinion.The entire dining hall noticed- every single person. The silence became deafening. You suddenly wished for death. Or invisibility.

Either would suffice. "Heeseung," You squeezed his hand gently, "Sit down."

He obeyed immediately. The dining hall collectively lost its mind. Because apparently watching one of the academy's most respected nobles obey a blacksmith's daughter without hesitation was shocking.

Personally, you thought everyone was overreacting. Heeseung disagreed, "You could tell me to jump into the Han River."

You stared, "What?"

"I probably would."

"That's ridiculous."

His smile returned, "There it is again."

You kicked him under the table and he looked delighted.

─ · ✿ · ─

Several days later, Heeseung visited your home for the first time. In retrospect, nothing good could have come from this.

The signs were obvious. Your father spent three hours preparing. Your brothers spent two. Nobody explained why, which somehow made everything worse.

When Heeseung arrived at the house, everyone was waiting.

Your father.

Seo-jun.

Min-hyeok.

Tae-rin.

Ha-jun.

All standing together. Watching. Like executioners.

"Oh."Heeseung stopped walking. Reasonable. Very reasonable. Your father smiled. The smile was terrifying.

"Welcome."

Heeseung bowed respectfully."Sir."

"Come inside." The smile remained. Still terrifying. You considered warning him. Unfortunately, it was already too late. He had entered the house. There was no escape now. The interrogation lasted three hours.

Three.

Entire.

Hours.

By the end, even Heeseung looked exhausted. Your father had questioned everything. His intentions. His future. His studies. His finances. His character. His plans. His feelings.

The weather. Probably. You couldn't remember anymore.

At one point Seo-jun demanded to know how many books Heeseung had read. At another point Min-hyeok somehow started discussing swordsmanship. Tae-rin wanted to know whether Heeseung could repair a wagon. Ha-jun simply asked increasingly bizarre questions for entertainment.

The entire experience felt surreal. Yet somehow, Heeseung never complained. Not once.Not even when your father asked the most important question of all, “Why her?"

The room fell silent. You froze. Everyone did. Even Ha-jun, which was rare. Extremely rare.

Heeseung looked toward you. Then smiled softly and answered, “Because she's her."

Silence. Absolute silence. Your heart stopped. Completely stopped. Your father stared. Seo-jun stared. Everyone stared. Heeseung didn't seem to notice. Or care. Because he continued.

"She's kind." Your face burned. "She's stubborn." Your face burned more. "She's brave." The room disappeared. "She's smarter than most nobles I've met." You considered jumping through a window. “She's honest." Death would be preferable. "And because I love who I become when I'm with her."

The silence afterward felt endless. No one moved. No one spoke. No one breathed. Then your father looked away. Quickly. Suspiciously quickly. As though hiding something. Seo-jun suddenly found the ceiling fascinating. Min-hyeok cleared his throat. Tae-rin rubbed his eyes. Ha-jun looked emotional- which was horrifying. Because if Ha-jun became emotional- the world was ending.

You looked down immediately because your own eyes suddenly felt suspiciously wet. And you absolutely refused to cry in front of everyone. Especially not because of Lee Heeseung. Especially not because he loved you.

─ · ✿ · ─

The problem with Lee Heeseung was that once he decided something- nothing could stop him. Not his friends. Not your brothers. Not the academy. And certainly not his mother.

Unfortunately for everyone involved, Heeseung had decided he loved you. Which meant the entire kingdom was about to suffer the consequences.

─ · ✿ · ─

Lady Lee summoned him again three days after his visit to your family's forge. This time, Heeseung arrived already irritated. A dangerous sign. Because normally Heeseung was patient. Reasonable. Diplomatic.

Today he was none of those things.

The moment he entered the sitting room, Lady Lee dismissed the servants. The doors shut. Silence settled. Then the argument began. "You visited her home."

Not a greeting. Not a question. An accusation.

"Yes," Heeseung shrugged.

Lady Lee inhaled sharply, "As if they are your equals."

The words landed like a slap.Heeseung's expression darkened immediately, "They are."

"No."

"They are."

"Heeseung—"

"No." The interruption shocked her. Again.

Recently, her son had become increasingly difficult to control. Increasingly willing to challenge her. Increasingly willing to choose you. Every single time. And she hated it. "You are embarrassing this family."

The statement hung between them. Cold. Cruel. Deliberate. For a moment Heeseung simply stared. Then he laughed. Not because it was funny. Because it was absurd. "Embarrassing?" his voice was dangerously quiet, "You think loving someone is embarrassing?"

"I think forgetting your responsibilities is embarrassing." Something snapped. Not loudly. Not dramatically. Just enough. The patience he'd spent months maintaining finally disappeared.

"You want to know what's embarrassing?" Lady Lee froze, because her son looked angry. Truly angry. The kind of anger that rarely surfaced. The kind that made even grown men nervous.

"I've spent years doing everything you've asked," his voice shook. Not from fear- from fury. "I studied what you wanted." Silence. "I behaved how you wanted." More silence. "I became the son you wanted." Lady Lee said nothing because she knew it was true. "And now." His jaw clenched. "You've decided the one thing I want isn't acceptable."

The room felt suffocating. Heavy. Painfully heavy. For the first time, Lady Lee saw something she'd never expected. Resentment. Years of it. Buried beneath obedience. Buried beneath politeness. Buried beneath duty. All finally surfacing.

And somehow- it was your fault. At least in her eyes. Because before you, Heeseung had accepted everything. Before you, he'd listened. Before you, he'd obeyed. Then you arrived. And suddenly he was fighting back. Suddenly he was choosing himself. Suddenly he was happy.

And Lady Lee despised the fact that happiness had made him stronger.

─ · ✿ · ─

You had no idea any of this was happening. Instead, you were attempting to survive another day at Decelis Academy. A difficult task. Mostly because your relationship was no longer a secret. At all. Not even slightly. The academy had become unbearable.

Everywhere you went, people stared. Whispered. Gossiped. Speculated. It was exhausting. You were halfway through lunch when Sunoo suddenly appeared beside you. Without warning. Like a particularly annoying ghost.

"(Y/N)."

You nearly dropped your spoon, "What?"

Sunoo grinned. "Do you know what Heeseung did yesterday?" The answer was immediately concerning.

"No."

Sunoo looked delighted which made it worse, "He threatened a duke's son."

You choked, "What?"

Across the table, Jake nodded. "Twice."

"TWICE?"

"Technically three times," Jay corrected. You stared. Sunghoon looked embarrassed. Jungwon looked tired. Riki looked fascinated. The usual.

"What happened?"

Jake pointed toward Heeseung, who was currently reading a book several tables away. As though he hadn't apparently threatened multiple nobles. The liar.

"The duke's son called you a gold digger."

The dining hall immediately became quiet. Again. You hated when that happened. Because it usually meant trouble. And trouble frequently involved Heeseung. "Oh."

Jake nodded, "That was our reaction too." You looked toward Heeseung. He still hadn't looked up from his book. The picture of innocence. Fraudulent innocence. The worst kind.

"What exactly did he say?"

The six boys exchanged looks. Then Sunghoon sighed, "Heeseung informed him that if he ever insulted you again-"

Jake interrupted, "He'd throw him through a window."

You stared. Sunoo continued, "Then through another window."

You blinked. Riki nodded seriously, "There were several windows involved."

The silence lasted five seconds. Then, "He wouldn't actually do that." The six boys looked at each other. Nobody answered. Your stomach dropped."Oh God."

─ · ✿ · ─

The academy's Spring Festival arrived two weeks later. Traditionally, it was one of the most anticipated events of the year. Students dressed elegantly. Musicians performed. Nobles socialized. Future political alliances formed. And young people found excuses to dance together. You hated it already. Your brothers were visiting.

Lady Lee would obviously attend.

Half the nobility would be present. Nothing good could possibly happen, which meant disaster was inevitable. Heeseung disagreed because he was excited. Extremely excited. Suspiciously excited.

The realization should have worried you sooner.

─ · ✿ · ─

The festival began at sunset. Lanterns illuminated every pathway, music echoed through the academy grounds, students filled the gardens, laughter drifted through the evening air.

Beautiful. Elegant. Dangerous. You adjusted your dress nervously. Immediately regretting it because dresses attracted attention. Attention attracted people. People asked questions. You hated questions.

"(Y/N)." You turned and forgot how to breathe. Entirely.

Because Heeseung was standing there looking unfairly handsome. Completely unfairly. It should have been illegal. Actually illegal.

His dark formal suit fit him perfectly, his hair was neatly styled, his expression softened the moment he saw you.

Then completely disappeared. He stared. And stared. And continued staring. Your face warmed instantly.

"Heeseung." No response. "Heeseung." Still nothing. Finally, Jake appeared. Looked at Heeseung. Then at you. Then sighed, "He's broken again."

The others arrived immediately. Of course they did. Jay took one look at Heeseung's expression, and agreed, "Completely broken."

Sunghoon nodded, "Beyond repair."

Sunoo looked entertained, "As expected."

Jungwon pinched the bridge of his nose. Riki looked thoughtful, "I think he's in love."

You wanted to disappear. Immediately. Forever.

Meanwhile, Heeseung finally remembered how to speak. Barely, "You look beautiful." Silence. Complete silence.

Even his friends stopped talking. Your heart stuttered. Then stopped entirely because he wasn't teasing. Wasn't flirting. Wasn't joking. He meant it. Entirely. And the sincerity in his voice nearly destroyed you, "Oh."

Brilliant response. Truly. A masterpiece. Heeseung smiled. The soft smile. The dangerous smile. The one reserved only for you. The one that made your heartbeat impossible, "You always do."

Your death became imminent.

─ · ✿ · ─

The dancing began shortly afterward. You had hoped to avoid it. A foolish hope. A hopeless hope because Heeseung found you almost immediately. Then held out his hand. The gesture was simple. Yet somehow it felt enormous. Terrifying. Important.

Every noble custom suddenly became relevant. Every watching eye suddenly mattered. The entire world narrowed. Only him. Only you. Only this moment.

"May I have this dance?" his voice was quiet. Gentle. Yours. Always yours.

The realization terrified you because somewhere along the way- he had become home.

You placed your hand in his, "Yes." The smile that followed nearly blinded you.

Together, you stepped onto the dance floor. The music swelled. The crowd disappeared. The world faded. Only Heeseung remained. His hand resting carefully at your waist- your fingers in his. His eyes fixed entirely on you- as though nothing else existed. As though nobody else existed. For several moments neither spoke. Neither needed to.

Then: "I'm going to marry you someday."

You nearly tripped, "Heeseung!"

"What?"

You stared in horror. He looked confused- genuinely confused. The audacity. The absolute audacity. "You cannot say things like that."

"Why?"

"Because-" Words failed. Completely. Heeseung looked pleased, which was suspicious. Very suspicious. Then he leaned slightly closer. Only enough for you to hear, "I mean it."

Your heart stopped. Again. This was becoming a problem. A serious problem because he sounded completely serious. Not hopeful. Not dreamy. Certain. As though he'd already decided. As though the future itself had been settled.

And somehow- part of you wanted to believe him.

─ · ✿ · ─

Unfortunately, someone else heard.

Lady Lee.

Standing across the hall. Watching. Always watching. And for the first time- fear entered her heart. Because she finally understood. This wasn't infatuation. Wasn't youthful attraction. Wasn't a phase.

Her son loved you. Entirely. Completely. Irrevocably. And the terrifying part? You loved him too. So, naturally- she needed a better way to destroy that.

─ · ✿ · ─

The problem with fate was that it never cared about anyone's plans- not yours, not Heeseung's.

And certainly not Lady Lee's.

Because only three days after the Spring Festival, a storm descended upon Decelis Academy unlike anything seen in years. The sky darkened before noon. Thunder shook the mountains. Rain battered ancient stone walls.

Students rushed indoors. Lessons were cancelled. Hallways filled with confusion. And by evening, nobody was permitted to leave their assigned dormitory wing.

Unfortunately, you were nowhere near yours.

---

"This is your fault."

Heeseung looked offended, "My fault?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"You wanted to walk through the gardens."

"You agreed."

"That isn't the point."

"It feels like the point."

You glared, he smiled. That infuriating man had the audacity to smile. Even now. Even while rain hammered against glass windows. Even while the academy staff attempted to organize hundreds of stranded students.

Even while you were both trapped in the administrative wing- too far from your dormitory.

"This is bad."

"It's not bad."

"It is."

"It isn't."

"Heeseung."

"(Y/N)."

You narrowed your eyes. He looked pleased with himself. Again. You hated when he looked pleased with himself, mostly because he was usually about to say something outrageous, which meant you were never prepared.

"We're dry."

"Yes."

"We're safe."

"Mhm."

"We're together."

You immediately looked away. A mistake.Because his grin widened, "Oh, there it is."

"What?"

"The blushing."

"I am not blushing."

"You absolutely are."

You were. Unfortunately.

─ · ✿ · ─

The academy staff eventually found a temporary solution. A terrible solution. An absolutely horrifying solution, which was how you found yourself standing beside Heeseung while an exhausted professor explained the situation, "We've run out of rooms." Silence.

"What?"

The professor sighed, "The lower dormitories flooded."

"Okay..."

"The guest wing is full."

"Oh."

"The faculty quarters are full."

"Oh."

The professor looked increasingly tired, "So you'll be sharing one of the study suites until morning."

The world stopped. Entirely.

You stared. Heeseung stared. The professor continued speaking. Neither of you heard a word because one sentence was repeating inside your mind.

Sharing. One. Room.

"Oh no."

The professor left. Immediately. Probably because he valued his own survival. A wise decision. Very wise.

You and Heeseung remained standing there. Motionless, neither speaking, neither breathing. The silence became unbearable. Then: "This is fine."

You looked at him. Heeseung looked back. Neither of you believed that. At all.

─ · ✿ · ─

The study suite was surprisingly large. A fireplace. Several bookshelves. A sofa. A desk. Two armchairs. One large window overlooking the storm. Comfortable. Private. Far too private.You hated it immediately. Mostly because Heeseung seemed entirely unaffected. At first. Then you noticed the slight tension in his shoulders, the way he kept adjusting his sleeves, the way he avoided looking directly at you.

Interesting. Very interesting.Because Lee Heeseung was nervous and you'd never seen that before. Not truly. Not like this.

The realization was oddly comforting. Good. He deserved it.

─ · ✿ · ─

Hours passed. Rain continued outside. Thunder echoed through the mountains. Inside, the fire crackled softly.

You sat in one armchair. Heeseung sat in the other. A respectable distance apart. Neither of you acknowledged how aware you were of each other's presence.Not once. Not verbally. At least.Until Heeseung ruined the peace, "Can I ask you something?"

You looked up from your book. He was watching the flames.

"What?"

His expression softened, "When did you start liking me?"

The question nearly killed you. Brutally. Mercilessly. You considered pretending not to hear. Unfortunately, he was patient. Annoyingly patient.

So eventually you answered, "I don't know." A lie. A complete lie. You knew exactly when- the library, the study sessions, the way he remembered everything, the way he listened, the way he cared.

You remembered all of it. And apparently Heeseung did too- because he smiled, "You're lying."

Your jaw dropped. The audacity- again, "You asked a question."

"And you didn't answer it."

"I did."

"No, you didn't."

You wanted to throw a book at him but, instead, you hugged it tighter. A much more mature response. Probably.

─ · ✿ · ─

For a while, neither of you spoke. The silence wasn't uncomfortable, which somehow made it worse- because being comfortable with him had become dangerously easy. Dangerously natural.

You watched rain slide down the window. He watched you. The realization arrived suddenly. Without warning.

And when it did- you couldn't ignore it- no matter how hard you tried. You loved him.

The thought struck like lightning. Not because it was new but because it wasn't. Deep down, you'd known for weeks. Months, perhaps. You just hadn't said it. Hadn't allowed yourself to say it because saying it made it real. Terrifyingly real. 

And Heeseung... He loved you too. Enough to fight his mother. Enough to challenge nobles. Enough to risk his future. Enough to choose you. Every single time. Your chest tightened painfully because no one had ever chosen you like that before.

─ · ✿ · ─

"(Y/N)." You looked up almost immediately because something in his voice sounded different.  Heeseung wasn't smiling anymore, wasn't teasing, wasn't joking.

His gaze held yours. Steady. Certain. And suddenly the room felt much smaller. "What is it?"

For a moment, he said nothing. Then quietly, "No matter what happens..." Your breath caught. "No matter what my mother does." Silence. "No matter what anyone says." The storm raged outside. Inside, however, only his voice existed, "I am not leaving."

Your heart shattered because he meant it. Every word. Every promise. Every impossible vow. He meant all of it. And somehow- that frightened you more than anything.

Because what if he lost everything? What if loving you cost him too much? What if- "What if I ask you to?" The question escaped before you could stop it.

Immediately, regret followed. Heeseung stared. Then stood slowly, crossing the room until he stopped beside your chair. Close. Too close to be innocent. Just enough.

Carefully, he placed his hand on your cheek, moving forward as his breath ghosted over your lips. Leaning in, he pressed a heavy kiss to your lips. A kiss that held too much pent up tension and too much heat, and far too much love.

His tongue slipped into your mouth, still carefully cradling your face with his large palm as the other slid over your hip. You breathed into his mouth, your hands coming to rest over his shoulders as you melted into the kiss. 

Heeseung pulled back slightly, his forehead pressing to yours as he began unbuttoning your uniform shirt. When it was done all the way, he did his own, pulling both of them off both of you and throwing them into the corner of the room with a muffled thud.

Discarding the rest of your clothes, he pushed you back gently into the soft plush of the mattress, coming to giver over you as your naked bodies tangled together in the heat of the kiss.

“Do you want this?” Heeseung whispered, his lips trailing down your chin and to your neck, sucking lightly on the skin there, nipping a few times but soothing it with worshipping kisses and licks.

You nodded wordlessly, your arms wrapping around his neck as you arched into his touch.

“Words, my love, I need words,” he muttered, the sound vibrating through your body and sending searing heat straight to your core.

“Please, Hee,” you whined quietly, the flickering candles set around the room framing your feverish expression with a soft, warm light. The thunder cracked outside, making you jolt and press against him once more, feeling his growing hard-on.

You glanced up through your lashes to where he had changed positions. With a single view of your doe eyes staring at him, he groaned, the noise cutting through your thoughts and adding to your arousal.

Without warning, Heeseung dropped half his weight onto your body, crashing his lips onto yours as his hand cupped your small chest, thumb flicking over your nipple. You moaned into his mouth, pulling him closer towards you while grinding on his thigh.

He dipped down, parting from your mouth to rest between your thighs, face-to-face with your slick pussy. He pressed a kiss to the throbbing mound, then licked a broad stripe up the middle. You arched off the bed, as the obscene wet noises of Heeseung making out with your dripping cunt filling the room.

You reached down, threading your fingers through his hair and pushing him further down until he was nose deep inside you, smelling the slick arousal that was gathering there.

He moaned around your entrance, moving his hand to push inside you, scissoring your gummy walls next to his tongue. Quickening his pace, Heeseung pumped his tongue and fingers together inside and out of you, trying to get you to your high as quick as possible.

You whined loudly, followed by another whine, and another, and another, until Heeseung spoke, “Cum for me, princess, please cum for me.”

With one final noise, the coil setting low in your stomach snapped, sending gushing liquid down your thighs and Heeseung’s chin. He didn’t waste a bit of it, licking every last drop until only his spit remained on your legs and pussy.

You panted quietly, pulling him up by his shoulder till he was face-to-face with you, “My turn,” you whispered into his ear, rolling both of you until you were sat on top of him.

Heeseung looked up at you, eyes filled with adoration as he followed your movements until you were seated between his thighs. “(Y/n), you don’t have to-“ he started.

“I want to,” you cut him off, your hand wrapping around the base of his flushed red cock. He inhaled sharply at the contact, hips shifting slightly before you pressed your forearm down on his hipbone, “Stay still.”

Carefully, you took him into your mouth, your lips wrapping around his leaking tip, the salty taste of precum and sweat melting on your tongue. Heeseung let out a content sigh, his head dropping back onto the pillows behind him.

Taking him deeper, your nose pressed flush against his pelvis, you swallowed around him, your throat squeezing his length lightly. “Oh my god,” he arched slightly, fingers slipping into your hair as you swallowed again.

You looked up at him through your lashes, gagging deliciously when his cock hit the back of your throat, to which he moaned again- louder this time. Pulling your mouth off him completely, a string of spit connecting your lips to his tip, you wrapped both hands around his length and squeezed, “(Y/n)-“ Heeseung gasped, his grip on the bed sheets beside him turning his knuckles white.

Outside, the thunder from the storm cracked, but you were too focused on the pleasure to notice. Taking him back into your mouth again, you pushed all the way down, so he hit the back of your throat repeatedly.

He groaned, lifting one hand to bite on the skin there to keep his noises quiet. “Don’t, Hee, I want to hear you when you come,” you mumbled as you pulled off and peppered kisses on his thighs.

You licked a long stripe up the underside of his cock, from base to tip, pressing a soft kiss to the slit at the top. Surprisingly, that made him come, the white liquid coating your cheek and nose and mouth. Looking up innocently, you made eye contact and Heeseung groaned again, more of the liquid squirting out again onto you.

When he was done, Heeseung pulled you up till you were laid next to him, his hand on your breast and his other on your ass, while he wiped his cum off your face and licked it off his finger.

“You’re such a pervert,” you scoffed, laughing slightly, but still obeyed when he lifted his finger to your mouth, sucking on it until it was clean.

“Shhh, sweetheart, I’m going to make you feel so good,” Heeseung held your jaw, pulling you into a dizzying kiss while slipping his hand down between you to rub over your clit. You whimpered into his mouth, bucking into his hand as he smirked at your reaction.

“Needy, are we, doll?” he teased, rubbing over your pussy in tight circles while his hand dropped from your jaw to your breast, thumb flicking over your nipple.

“H-hee,” you protested, trying to get some more pressure that he wasn’t giving you, “don’t, ah, t-tease…”

Heeseung chuckled quietly, pulling his hand back as he pushed your body onto the bed and got on top of you, “Sorry, angel, I couldn’t help myself, I’ll take good care of you,” he muttered against your neck, before nipping the skin there.

You could feel his hard cock pressing against your entrance, and his hips moving back and forth so it was rubbing against you but not entering yet. “Heeseung, please,” you pleaded, eyes closing briefly to hold back a whine as he teased you.

“Okay, baby,” he smiled, pulling his hips back and lining himself up with your entrance. With one rock of his hips, he pushed inside, the stretch burning gloriously  as you both moaned loudly.

“Fuck- oh my god,” Heeseung groaned.

“Shit-“ you gasped, hands flying to his shoulder as your nails dug into the skin there to ground yourself.

“Baby, you feel so perfect, squeezing me so tight,” he whispered, pressing his lips to yours.

He pulled his hips back, only to snap them back in just as fast, causing you to moan into his mouth. Taking the opportunity, he slipped his tongue into your mouth, the wet muscle sliding against yours.

He moved back and forth inside you, stretching you out completely with his girth. Pulling his mouth back, a string of saliva connected your lips, and you moaned again- louder this time. As you did, Heeseung spat into your mouth, “Swallow,” he growled.

You complied, too pleased to even care that he had just done was so perverted that it was actually insane. 

Heeseung looked down between your bodies, watching his cock slide in and out of you easily from the messes you had both created before, “That’s it,” he eased back inside of you again, “Take it like a good girl, my good girl.”

Your eyes squeezed shut, mouth open in a silent scream as your face painted a picture of pure, fucked-out pleasure, “You gonna come, angel?” he whispered, “For me?” 

You nodded, opening your eyes again and staring into his, “…p-please…” 

He smirked, biting his lip as he reached between your bodies and began rubbing small circles on your clit. “Hee-“ you whimpered, the dual pressure too much and building up pressure in your lower belly again.

“Good girl,” he praised, rubbing harder as he slammed his cock into your pussy, “Come for me. Now. Again. All over my cock.”

With a drawn-out moan, you arched off the bed, warm liquid dripping out of you and onto his cock, “Fuck-“ you yelped as you came hard.

“Shit, baby, you’re squeezing me so much, can I come inside, yeah?” Heeseung cursed, rubbing your clit harder- to which you nodded and fluttered around him. He came heavily, the orgasm crashing down on both of you as he pumped inside of you to mix your fluids, “Fuuuuckk, you feel too good, milking me like this…” he growled as he leaned down and hit down on your neck, sucking on the skin.

Breathing heavily, he hoisted your leg up onto his hip, fully prepared for round two, but you rested a hand on his cheek, making him pause, “I don’t think I can move much, I won’t be any good,” you whispered, embarrassed that you couldn’t help him.

“My poor baby,” Heeseung pouted, dropping your leg back onto the bed and cradling your cheeks, “How about we cuddle-fuck? You know, spooning? You can be my pillow-princess,” he kissed you gently, watching the way your eyes lit up and chuckling.

As soon as you got into position, your back to his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around your waist, he pushed inside you again, moving his hips at a steady pace. He moved his hand down to your lower abdomen, feeling the bulge there every time he pushed back in.

“Feel that? That’s how deep I am, right inside you, fucking you senseless, doll,” he growled and you whimpered breathlessly, your hands cradling his over your stomach.

Heeseung kept the slow pace, moving behind you gently, careful not to disturb you as he chased his own pleasure while you fell asleep in his arms. He lifted his leg over yours, pulling your whole body flush against his as he whispered sweet praises at how amazing you were into your hair.

“My perfect angel, letting me do this,” he mumbled as he kissed down the back of your neck and to your shoulder, leaving wet trails as he did. He thrust inside of you again, the bedsheets tangling between your legs as you woke up slightly, jostled awake by the pleasure once again.

You gasped quietly, your back giving a small arch against him as his tip hit your cervix once more, “Hee,” you leaned back onto his chest, your head on his shoulder as you spoke, “you’re too good, ah, at this….”

“Only for you my love,” he breathed against you, you sweaty skin pressing tight her in every way, it got to the point that you believed he would actually crawl into your skin if possible, “I only do anything for you…”

You felt the coil in your stomach pull tight again, giving a clear sign you were approaching you high again. Still reeling from the last orgasm, you moaned half-silently.

“My perfect girl,” Heeseung pressed a kiss to your shoulder, thrusting into you one more time until the coil snapped inside you. Liquid gushed between you two and onto the bedsheets, soaking the mattress as well as your thighs. 

He looked at you in awe, eyes gleaming with adoration as he pushed in and out of you, chasing his own release. The overstimulation was perfect, giving you more cum to release as he modded your gummy walls around his cock.

Heeseung came with a quiet groan, pressing his face into your neck as he spilled out inside of you, liquid releasing more and more until you had milked him dry and both of you were empty of nothing but love and pleasure.

Pulling back slightly, he answered- his voice was gentle but firm, "I won't leave you if you ask me to."

Your heart nearly stopped. Again. This was becoming a serious health concern, "You don't mean that."

"I do."

"Heeseung—"

"I love you." Silence. Absolute silence. The words settled between you. Heavy. Real. Beautiful. Terrifying.

Outside, thunder shook the mountains. Inside, the world changed because this time- neither of you pretended not to hear it, neither of you looked away.

And for the first time since this impossible train wreck of a story began, you realized that perhaps true love was stronger than fear. Stronger than status. Stronger than expectations. Perhaps even stronger than Lady Lee.

And somewhere far below the academy walls- Lady Lee was already preparing her next move. The cruelest one yet. One that threatened to separate you and Heeseung forever.

─ · ✿ · ─

The first sign that something was wrong was the silence. Not the comfortable silence that existed between you and Heeseung. Not the kind that came with shared books, stolen smiles, or lingering glances.A different silence. A frightening one.

The kind that settled over a room before disaster arrived. The kind your father always recognized immediately. The kind your brothers hated. The kind that made people uneasy without understanding why.

And unfortunately- that silence arrived in the form of a letter. Again. Only this time it wasn't addressed to you- it was addressed to your father.

─ · ✿ · ─

He read it once, then twice, then a third time. His expression became harder with every line. You were sitting across from him in the dining table. Immediately, your stomach twisted. "Dad?" No answer, "Dad." Still nothing. The silence stretched. 

Then slowly, he handed you the letter. Your eyes moved across the page.And your heart dropped because Lady Lee had escalated. Drastically. The letter was polite. Respectful. Elegant. Which somehow made it worse.

She wasn't threatening. She wasn't insulting. She wasn't demanding. Instead- she was offering money. A lot of money. Enough money to change your family's life forever. Enough to expand the workshop. Enough to buy land. Enough to ensure comfort for generations.In exchange for one thing. You. Or rather- your absence.

Your hands began to tremble. She wanted your father to convince you to end things with Heeseung. Permanently. A price.She had placed a price on your love. As though it could be purchased. As though you could be purchased.

Your vision blurred. For a moment you couldn't breathe. Couldn't think. Couldn't move. Then suddenly- the letter disappeared from your line of sight.

Your father had snatched it from your hands and the next second it was in the fireplace. Burning. Gone. Destroyed.

You gasped, "Dad—"

"I don't care if she offered the royal treasury," his voice shook. Not from fear- but from anger. The kind of anger that made grown men dangerous, "My daughter's love isn't for sale."

Something inside your chest broke because your father didn't hesitate. Didn't consider it. Didn't even think about it. He simply burned the letter. As though the very suggestion disgusted him.Your eyes filled again, "Dad." His expression softened.

"Oh sweetheart." And that somehow made everything worse because now you really might cry.

─ · ✿ · ─

Unfortunately, Lady Lee wasn't finished- not even close. Because while she was attempting to buy your absence- Lord Lee was finally becoming involved.And unlike his wife- he was far more dangerous because Lord Lee rarely interfered. Rarely raised his voice. Rarely involved himself in family matters. Which meant when he did- people listened.

Even Lady Lee. Even Heeseung. Especially Heeseung.

─ · ✿ · ─

Heeseung was summoned home three days later.

The message contained no explanation- only a request. Yet somehow he already knew. The moment he entered his family's estate, he knew.

The servants looked nervous, the atmosphere felt heavy, and his father was waiting.

That alone was enough.

Because Lord Lee never waited for anyone. Not even his sons. Yet there he sat, inside the family study. Hands folded. Expression unreadable. Watching.

"Heeseung."

"Father."

The door closed behind him and silence followed. Long. Heavy. Uncomfortable.

Then finally- Lord Lee spoke, "I hear you've been causing problems."

Straight to the point. As always. Heeseung remained standing, "I disagree."

A slight eyebrow raise. Interesting. "I see." More silence. Then Lord Lee spoke again, "The blacksmith's daughter."

There it was. The real reason. The actual reason. The only reason.

Heeseung's jaw tightened, "(Y/N)." Lord Lee's gaze sharpened, "You correct me."

"She has a name." A mistake. Perhaps. Yet Heeseung didn't regret it. Not even slightly. The silence that followed felt endless. Then his father sighed. A tired sigh. An almost disappointed sigh. And somehow that hurt more than anger would have. 

"Heeseung," The use of his name was rare, which only made it worse, "You are making this difficult."

His hands clenched, "By loving someone?"

"By refusing reality." The words struck hard because Lord Lee wasn't cruel. Never cruel. Just practical. Painfully practical. And practicality was often more damaging than cruelty.

"Reality?" Heeseung laughed. A short, bitter one, "You mean status."

"I mean consequences." The room became very quiet because both men understood exactly what was being said. Lord Lee leaned forward, "The world is not kind." Neither spoke, "It never has been." Silence, "It never will be."

More silence. Until he spoke again, "If you continue this relationship, people will use it against you."

Against him. Against you. Against everyone. Political rivals. Noble families. Future opportunities. Everything.

Lord Lee wasn't lying and that was the problem. He was telling the truth. And Heeseung hated it.

─ · ✿ · ─

Meanwhile, you were completely unaware of any of this because you were too busy sneaking around with Heeseung. Entirely his fault. Mostly.

─ · ✿ · ─

It began with notes. Small folded messages hidden inside books, inside desks, inside library shelves. Everywhere.

You found one tucked between pages of a history text. That was considerably suspicious. Especially because the handwriting was familiar.

𝑴𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒃𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒈𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒔. ♡

You scoffed, then groaned, then went anyway. A terrible decision. An absolutely terrible decision because Heeseung was waiting.

And unfortunately- the moment he saw you, he smiled, which ruined any chance of remaining annoyed, "You came."

"You knew I would."

"I hoped."

"Liar."

His smile widened, "You know me too well, angel."

You rolled your eyes at the nickname but the realization was oddly comforting, you did know him, better than most people. Perhaps better than anyone.

That mattered. A lot.

─ · ✿ · ─

The hidden garden became yours. A tiny forgotten corner behind ancient stone walls. Nobody visited. Nobody interrupted. Nobody watched.It felt impossible. A place existing outside the rest of the world. Outside expectations. Outside family names. Outside duty.

Just you. And him. The first kiss happened there. Properly happened. Not accidental. Not interrupted. Not rushed. Just real.

You had been arguing- again- because apparently neither of you knew how to behave normally,  "Heeseung."

"What?"

"You are impossible."

"I've heard that."

"Repeatedly."

"Usually from you."

You opened your mouth, fully prepared to continue. Then stopped because he was smiling. That smile. The one that always ruined your train of thought. The one that made coherent thinking difficult. The one reserved entirely for you.

And suddenly- you forgot what you were saying. Heeseung noticed immediately- of course he did. He always noticed. Everything. His expression softened, then softened further.

Until neither of you were speaking. The air felt different. Warmer. Closer. Your heartbeat became impossible. His wasn't much better.

And when he stepped forward- you didn't step away. Not once. His hand lifted- carefully- as though you might disappear.

As though you were something precious. Something fragile. Something worth protecting. 

The thought nearly broke your heart.He rested his gently against yours and for one quiet, still moment, everything stopped. The world. The academy. The rumors. His family. The future. Everything.

Only this remained. Only him. Only you. His voice was barely a whisper, "I love you."

The words still affected you. Every single time. Without fail. So before fear could stop you, before doubt could interfere, before the world could intrude- you kissed him.

Soft. Brief. Perfect.

His breath caught as soon as you pulled back and so did yours. Somehow- the second kiss was even worse because now neither of you could pretend. Not anymore.

─ · ✿ · ─

For a while things felt almost normal. They were the happiest weeks either of you had had. Shared lunches. Hidden notes. Stolen moments. Secret meetings. Quiet walks. Too many kisses- never enough kisses.

The kind of happiness that felt borrowed and temporary- fragile, even.The kind that usually existed right before tragedy and tragedy was coming fast.

─ · ✿ · ─

It arrived in the form of another meeting. This time involving both of Heeseung's parents. And the consequences were devastating.

Because together, Lady Lee and Lord Lee were unstoppable. One ruled through emotion. The other through logic.

One applied pressure. The other applied reality.

Together they cornered him. Piece by piece. Argument by argument. Fear by fear. Until finally Lord Lee spoke the words that changed everything.

"If you truly love her," silence, "Then let her go."

Heeseung's mouth opened- yet no words escaped his lips. His father continued, "Eventually this family will destroy her."

The room froze, every breath, every thought, every heartbeat.

Stopped.

And the worst part? For the first time- Heeseung wasn't certain his father was wrong

─ · ✿ · ─

The realisation haunted him. For days. Then weeks. Every insult directed toward you. Every rumor. Every whisper. Every cruel comment. Every attack. Every scheme. Every threat.

He saw all of it.

Terrible questions began growing inside him.

What if loving you wasn't protecting you?

What if it was hurting you?

What if he was the reason Lady Lee kept targeting you?

What if he was the reason your family kept suffering?

What if-

The thoughts destroyed him slowly and brutally. You noticed. Of course you noticed. Because you always noticed.

The smiles became rarer. The laughter quieter. The stolen moments shorter. Something was wrong. Terribly wrong.

And no matter how many times you asked-Heeseung wouldn't tell you.

─ · ✿ · ─

The truth broke through one evening in your hidden garden- the place that belonged only to the two of you, the place where everything had begun, the place where everything would end.

At least for now. You knew immediately. The moment you saw him because Heeseung looked heartbroken.

Completely heartbroken. Your stomach dropped, "Heeseung." No smile. No teasing. No warmth. Only pain.

You couldn't breathe, "What happened?"

His eyes closed briefly as though the question hurt.

He looked at you and the devastation there shattered your heart because you had never seen him look at you like that before.Like someone saying goodbye.

The realization hit you so hard that for a moment you genuinely forgot how to breathe. The hidden garden suddenly felt colder. Smaller. Wrong.

Nothing had changed. The stone walls still stood around you. The flowers still climbed the ancient arches. The evening breeze still rustled through the trees. Yet somehow everything felt different. Because Heeseung was looking at you as though his heart was breaking.

And yours was beginning to break too. "Heeseung." Your voice came out smaller than intended. His jaw tightened immediately. As though hearing you say his name hurt. As though everything hurt.

The sight terrified you. Because Lee Heeseung was many things. Stubborn. Protective. Infuriating.

Romantic. Ridiculously dramatic.

But he was never weak. Never uncertain. Never the person standing in front of you now. “What happened?" The question came again. Softer this time. Almost pleading.

For several moments he didn't answer. Simply stared. As though trying to memorize your face. Your smile. Your eyes. The features everyone so greatly described as the ‘Moon goddess reincarnated’. Every detail. The realization made your stomach twist violently.

"Heeseung."

His eyes closed, then opened again.

And when he finally spoke, his voice sounded broken. "We need to stop."

The world ended. Not literally. The kingdom remained intact. The stars remained overhead. The garden remained standing. Yet your world ended. The silence that followed felt endless.

You stared, certain you had misheard or your mind had invented the words.

Because they made no sense. Not from him. Not from Heeseung. Not after everything. "What?"

His throat moved, a difficult swallow,"We need to end this."

The second blow landed harder. Far harder. Because now there was no misunderstanding. No confusion. No mistake. He was saying it. Actually saying it. And suddenly the garden became difficult to see.

Your eyes were burning, "No." The word escaped automatically, without thought, without hesitation.

Simply no. Heeseung visibly flinched. As though the single syllable had physically hurt him, "(Y/N)—"

"No." Again. Stronger. Fiercer. Because this couldn't be happening. It couldn't. Three weeks ago he had promised he wasn't leaving.

Three weeks ago he'd stood beside the fireplace during the storm and sworn he wasn't going anywhere. Three weeks ago he'd looked at you like you were his future. And now-

Now he was trying to walk away. "No." Your voice cracked. The sound stunned both of you. Because you never cried. Yet tears were already gathering. Already threatening. Already impossible to stop.

Heeseung looked devastated. Completely devastated. For some messed up reason, that made everything worse.

Because if he didn't want this- if he'd fallen out of love- you could hate him, you could be angry, you could survive. But he looked heartbroken. As heartbroken as you felt.

Which meant something else was happening. Something terrible. "Tell me the truth." Silence. "Heeseung." Nothing. "Tell me the truth."

His hands clenched. Then unclenched. Then clenched again. Until finally, the truth emerged. "My parents are right." The words sounded poisonous. As though he hated them. As though they were destroying him.

You inhaled sharply, "What?"

His laugh was bitter, broken,"They'll never stop."

Your heartbeat slowed painfully, "Lady Lee—"

"My father too." The words stunned you because Lord Lee joining the battle felt worse. Much worse. You'd expected Lady Lee. Not him. Never him. "My father thinks they'll destroy you."

Silence, "My mother thinks you'll ruin me," more silence, "And every day they find another way to make your life harder."

You opened your mouth and immediately closed it because he wasn't wrong. The rumors. The whispers. The letters. The insults. The pressure.

All of it had become worse. Much worse. Yet- "So what?"

The question escaped instantly. Without thought. Heeseung looked shocked.

"So what?" your voice shook but you continued, "They've hated me from the beginning," you paused, "So what?"

"(Y/N)."

"No," your tears finally escaped. One. Then another. Then another. You hated it. Absolutely hated it. Yet couldn't stop, "Since when do you care what they think?"

His expression shattered because that wasn't the problem. Not really. He knew it.

So did you.

Because the answer arrived. Slowly. Painfully. Like a knife. He didn't care what happened to him. He cared what happened to you. The realization nearly destroyed you, "Oh."

His eyes closed. As though he'd been caught. As though the truth itself hurt. And suddenly everything made sense. The distance. The sadness. The silence. The shorter meetings. The haunted expression. All of it.

He wasn't protecting himself. He was trying to protect you. You hated it. You hated it so much. "You're an idiot."

The insult escaped through tears. Heeseung laughed. A strangled sound. Half laugh. Half heartbreak, "I know."

"You absolute idiot."

"I know."

"You don't get to decide that."

His eyes opened slowly, "Maybe I do."

"No."

"(Y/N)—"

"No."

You stepped closer and closer until only a small distance remained. His breath caught. Yours did too. Neither moved. Neither looked away. "I love you."

The confession escaped before you could stop it. The first time you'd said it. Actually said it. Out loud. The first time. And perhaps the worst possible moment because Heeseung looked as though his entire world had just collapsed.

His eyes filled instantly. The sight broke your heart because he looked happy and devastated at the same time.

Like someone receiving everything they'd ever wanted. And losing it. Simultaneously. You reached for him. Without thinking. Without permission. Without hesitation.

And the moment your hand touched his face- something inside him finally broke.

He stepped forward, closing the remaining distance. And kissed you. Not desperate. Not rushed. Not reckless. Just heartbreakingly gentle. The sort of kiss that felt like a goodbye. The sort that lingered. The sort people remembered forever.

Your fingers tightened against his coat. His hand found yours. Holding it. As though he couldn't bear to let go. As though letting go might destroy him. Perhaps it would. Perhaps it already had.

When the kiss ended neither of you moved. Foreheads resting together. Breathing uneven. Eyes closed. The garden silent around you.

"I love you too," his voice cracked. The words nearly killed you because you knew. Of course you knew.

Yet hearing them now hurt more than anything.

"I always will."

Your chest tightened painfully.

"No."

His eyes opened. Confused. You forced yourself to continue. Because somebody had to say it. Somebody had to be brave. Even if it wasn't him. Even if it wasn't you. Even if neither of you survived it.

"No."

The second time sounded stronger. Steadier. "If we're ending this," his face went white, "If that's really what you're choosing," silence, "Then don't tell me you'll always love me."

Your words shook yet you continued, "Because I won't survive hearing that." The truth hung between you. Raw. Terrible. Honest.

And for the first time all evening- Heeseung cried. Not dramatically. Not loudly. Just one tear. Then another. Then another. And suddenly you couldn't remember ever seeing him cry before. Not once. Not ever, which somehow made this infinitely worse.

Because if Lee Heeseung was crying, then this was real. Actually real. And neither of you wanted it. Not really. Not at all. Somehow it was happening anyway.

The garden felt colder. The night darker. The future impossible. Eventually Heeseung stepped back. The movement almost made you reach for him. Almost. But you didn't.

Because if you touched him again- you would beg. And you refused to beg someone who loved you. Even if it hurt. Even if it killed you. You refused.

So instead; you stood there and watched the boy you loved break his own heart and then yours at the same time.

When he finally turned away, neither of you stopped him because neither of you knew how.

RUIN THE FRIENDSHIP┆𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗢𝗨𝗦 ─ 𝗡𝗘𝗫𝗧

FROM YAN 🐰 ➤ for a bit more context, the mission: wony/n gc has been made the morning after jungwon wake up drunk so right around chapter O8 because riki finally FINALLY got jungwon's confession 😂 i cba to add it in slides because there's so much story to fit and i want to keep the chapters as low as possible LOL

PERMANENT TAGLIST  ➤  @mariegibeau @kristynaaah @ikeukiss @zerocoded @alex-is-sleeping @ntxs1 @angelhyuka @tsukheeshima @clxssy1997 @cripplinghooman @xoxo-seraphine @jakeycakeys @neozon3nha @jakeycakeys @vmpiricou @ja4hyvn @luv4dani @nightcat101 @wonkiipiilled

It’s in the way he’s always just had to be a step ahead of you. Like that time in the fifth grade when your teacher held a mock election for your government lesson, and he’d deliberately ran against you with the sole intention of annoying you. And when he won, he didn’t even do any of the things he’d promised! All he did was pass out whiteboards, and he always made sure to give you the one with the annoying black scribbles on them.

You went through high school like that, with him constantly one upping you in everything you did. He’d even almost beaten you for valedictorian, but you scored two and a half points higher than him on your AP Physics final and the spot was rightfully given to you. 

He didn't even seem mad about it, which made the entire thing even more infuriating. He’d spent years trying to prove he was better than you and didn't even flinch when it all amounted to nothing? What a tool.

University was supposed to be an escape. Not just from the mean high school girls and the boring small town you came from, but from him as well. You’d finally be able to breathe without him constantly hovering, you’d finally be able to relax without the constant worry that he was going to do something to ruin it.

So when you walked into your first day of classes at Decalis University, fully expecting to see no one familiar, you can imagine your absolute horror to see him sitting front and center like he owned the place.

He was already making good conversation with your professor, you could tell by how the older man was talking so admittedly with his hands and smiling like he couldn’t get enough of whatever it was Heeseung was talking about. 

That’s the thing about Heeseung, everyone around you always seems to think he’s this perfect, charming guy. They don’t see what he really is, not like you do. You seem to be the only person he decides to be his actual evil self with. Why he chose you, you aren’t entirely sure. You don’t think you ever will be.

But that was six months ago, and despite the giant Heeseung shaped stain on your university experience, the entire thing has been significantly better than high school. You don’t see him as much for starters, and when you do he seems too busy to actually try and annoy you. Not for a lack of trying though—those first few months were torture.

You’ve got an eight am class today, which means you have an excuse to make a stop at the coffee shop on campus. It’s right next to your dorm which is insanely convenient and definitely bad for your health, but you're a freshman in college. You don’t think you could name a single person who isn’t surviving off of cheap coffee and gas station noodles.

The line is long, which wouldn’t normally be an issue, but you’re running late and your professors decided he'll dock a letter grade for every tardy. You haven’t had to go through that pain yet, and you really don’t want to change that now.

You rock back and forth on your feet uncomfortably, the line seeming to move slower and slower. You almost consider saying fuck it and just going to class, but then you remember that you’re running off of two hours of sleep and decide you’d rather not fall asleep during your lesson.

It takes another ten minutes before you place your order, and then you’re solemnly waiting off to the side and trying to act like your nerves aren’t tangling up in your stomach.

“Long line, huh?”

You tense. You recognize that voice, and when you look up, the face that accompanies it is enough to ruin your entire morning more than it already has been. So much for not bothering you.

Sharp cheekbones, messy dirty blonde hair, big, beautiful shit brown eyes.

Your eyes narrow, lips curling downwards. At this point, you’re starting to believe your body's natural reaction to Lee Heeseung is immediate disdain. “Why are you talking to me?” You ask bluntly. No point in small talk with him, especially when you know he’s just trying to get under your skin by speaking to you.

He laughs, teeth on display as he does. “Are you this hostile with everyone when you first wake up?”

“Only people who annoy me.”

“I just made an observation, why would that annoy you?”

You shoot him a glare, crossing your arms over your chest. He knows exactly what he’s doing–he always has. His innocent act may work on every other person in this university, but not you. You know Heeseung, you know that getting under people's skin is his favorite pastime. You just wish you understood why he loves to do it to you specifically.

“Can you just…not? You know what you’re doing.”

“I promise I don’t.” The smirk threatening to break onto his lips says otherwise.

You take a deep breath and choose not to play into his game anymore. It’s pretty easy actually, because the barista calls out your name and you practically trip over your feet to grab it. You’ve got ten minutes to make it halfway across campus and into your lecture hall before you’re docked an entire letter grade. You’ve made it there with less.

You don’t bother saying goodbye to Heeseung, but you feel his gaze on you as you leave. Your skin prickles from the weight of it, but you don’t have the mental capacity to dwell on that right now. It’s too early for that.

Tonight’s the last game of the football season, which means practically the entire university showed up to the stadium to show their support, if support meant getting drunk off their asses.

You hadn’t planned to go, mostly because sports had never really been your thing, but Yunjin insists you have to come.

“It’ll be fun!” She pleads, her lower lip jutting out in a pout. She grabs your wrist and pulls on it, but you don’t budge from your spot at your desk. You told her that you had a big test to study for and that’s why you couldn’t go. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but you didn’t really need to study, you already knew the material like the back of your hand.

You sigh and pull your arm from her grip, “I can’t do bad on this test, Yunjin. You know what’ll happen if I do.”

“Yes, yes, the big bad Heeseung will score higher than you and your entire life will be ruined. Believe me, I know.” She clicks her tongue and walks behind you so her hands can rest on your shoulders. “But I think Sunghoon would be so sad to see that you didn’t come to support him for his last game.”

You immediately tense, your face going hot and stomach flipping in ways you didn’t know were possible. Even just the mere mention of Park Sunghoon forces a physical reaction out of you. It’s honestly a little embarrassing.

Sunghoon is the kind of boy you read about in romance novels or watch romcoms about. He’s sweet, smart, and the kind of handsome you weren’t aware a person can actually be. And he does it all effortlessly, like being perfect is something he was just born with. It probably was.

It doesn’t help that he’s always going out of his way to talk to you. Study dates, coffee runs after class, texts about nothing in the middle of the night, all things that feel like a relationship but actually aren’t.

Yunjin keeps insisting that you go for it, and you know that it’s probably not going to be as scary as you’re thinking it will be. After all, all it would do is put a title on whatever song and dance it is that the two of you’ve been putting on for the past couple months.

“I doubt he’d notice if I was there or not.” You shrug, doing your best to seem casual and not like the thought of him has hearts forming in your eyes.

Yunjin squeezes your shoulder and spins your chair around so you’re forced to face her. Her red hair is pulled back into a ponytail, her brows furrowed in determination. She looks a little bit like some kind of strange love coach who takes their job way too seriously. “You’re going to this game.” She says firmly.

“I’m not.”

“That’s what you think.”

The stadium is loud, people talking over each other in the hopes their friends will be able to hear them. They don’t, which means people just talk louder. The lights are bright and overwhelming, and you almost feel claustrophobic with how close the seats are to each other, like whoever designed the place did it without any regard for personal space at all.

Yunjin and Jake are on either side of you, both of them way too invested in the game. You are too, but not for the same reasons as them.

Sunghoon got into Decalis on a football scholarship and is the school's best starting quarterback in fifteen years. Even though he has every right to have a big head about it, he’s so humble you don’t think the thoughts ever even crossed his mind. Someone always approaches him about it when you’re out together on campus, and every time without fail his cheeks go bright pink and he gets this bashful smile on his face. It’s one of the reasons you’ve fallen for him as hard as you have, because unlike most guys you’ve interacted with, he doesn’t seem to have much of an ego at all.

It’s a very welcome contrast to Heeseung.

You can see him on the field too, walking behind the players sitting on the bench and getting candid shots of them. Even though you hate admitting it, he’s always been a gifted photographer. His photos were always hanging up in local art shows or featured in your high school yearbooks. Strangely, it’s the only thing he doesn’t brag about, despite it being the only thing he deserves to. 

“Oh, that’s bullshit!” Jake yells, popcorn spilling from his lap as he gestures wildly. “That was our play!”

You give him a side-eye and sink further into your seat. You honestly couldn’t care less about this whole thing; you're just excited to see Sunghoon in his post-game glow as you like to call it. Damp hair, face glowing with a sheen of sweat, his chest still heaving from running up and down the field. The entire thing is admittedly your guilty pleasure.

Yunjin elbows your ribs gently, her chin poking out to the field. You follow her gaze and find Sunghoon with his helmet in hand, drinking out of a green gatorade bottle and laughing at something one of his teammates says. He looks perfect. He is perfect.

And if things go right, he’ll be yours.

By the time the game ends, you’re more than ecstatic to finally get out of your seat and see Sunghoon. Yunjin teases you the entire way down, but you barely notice her. Not when your heart is nearly fluttering out of your chest.

But when you get down there, it’s not Sunghoon you see. No, it’s something much worse.

Heeseung.

He doesn’t notice you at first, and you almost think you’ll be able to sneak around him, but then Jake decides it’s a good idea to open his big mouth and alert the enemy to your presence.

“Heeseung!” He calls, raising his hand in a wave. “What’s good, man?”

Heeseung looks up then, sharp eyes falling onto Jake, and slowly trailing over to you. He grins, all teeth and something akin to mischief, and casually makes his way over to your small group.

“Hey Jake,” he greets, jutting his chin out swiftly. “Yunjin.”

Yunjin returns the greeting politely. “Heeseung.”

She has no reason to be mean to him, but as your closest friend, she understands that she must, by international girl-code law, dislike anyone you dislike, which includes him.

He turns to you then, and you swear you see something flash in his eyes. He keeps the same smile on his face despite the way you glare at him. “Hi, Y/N.”

“Hi.” You respond shortly. You don’t know why he even bothers trying to be nice to you in public, especially when he knows you're not going to return whatever sentiment it is he has.

He smirks like you’ve just said the funniest thing in the world. “Would it hurt you to be nicer?”

“Yes,” you respond easily. “It would, actually.”

He frowns and grabs at his shirt dramatically, right over where his heart is. “Always so mean.”

“You’ll live.”

He chuckles, reaching out and roughing up your hair. You smack his hands away and rush to fix it, palms smoothing down the parts he frizzed up. “Don’t do that!”

He ignores you and turns to talk to Jake about the game, and you can hear them say something about how the referees almost cost the team that last quarter, but you aren’t paying attention to that anymore.

Because behind Heeseung you can see a familiar head of damp black hair, thick eyebrows, and a perfect smile.

“Hey guys,” Sunghoon grins as he approaches. He’s ditched his football uniform and is instead wearing a black long sleeved compression shirt, and you swear your brain short circuits at the sight.

His attention falls to you first, just like it always does, and his smile widens just a fraction. Not enough for it to seem like anything else but a friendly gesture, but it doesn’t stop your heart from fluttering out of control or your cheeks from heating to near impossible levels.

“Hey!” You chirp a bit too loudly, hand shooting up in a wave.

“Nice game tonight, man!” Jake gushes, his hands moving animatedly. “The way you got that goal right at the beginning was insane! I swear, Penn didn't even know what hit them.”

Sunghoon grins and brings a hand up to his neck, the way he always does when somebody praises him, like he still can’t quite process the amount of attention on him. “Thanks, Jake. Seriously.”

“Those refs were awful though,” Yunjin throws in. 

The three of them end up in conversation about the game, all of them spewing out football lingo that you couldn’t be bothered to understand. Heeseung's still here too, just…lingering.

He’s friends with Jake and Sunghoon, yes, but he’s always on the sidelines. He’s been like that since high school. He’s friends with everyone, but he never lets them in. Doesn’t make any attempts to know them outside of a surface level friendship. 

It’s a little sad, honestly. But you stopped questioning the way his brain worked a long time ago. If he wanted to keep to himself, then that was perfectly fine by you. 

You don’t notice her approach, not until she’s sliding into the spot next to Sunghoon like she belongs there. Short black hair, bangs that frame her face like she was born with them, big brown eyes. Kim Chaewon is as beautiful as she is smart, and unbelievably kind. Not to mention she’d made cheer captain as a sophomore, and has kept the title all the way into her junior year.

“Hey, Hoon,” she says, voice sweet like honey. You know it shouldn’t, but something twists low and deep in your chest at the way she looks at him. Like she knows him. Like he belongs to her.

You expect him to greet her like he does everyone else. Always polite, but without the extra tenderness he saves for you. Without the small quirk of his lips or the subtle softening of his eyes, because that had always been yours. Your look.

Instead, when he looks at her, his lips quirk up, his eyes soften, and he snags a hand around her waist like he can’t imagine it being anywhere else.

You think this must be a joke. Not a very funny one, but a joke nonetheless. A tasteless prank. Because there is no way Park Sunghoon—the same Park Sunghoon that calls you in the middle of the night and insists he walk you home from class—has his arm around Kim Chaewon and is giving her the same look he gives you.

Yunjin looks just as shocked as you feel, but she’s never been as good at having a poker face as you. Her jaw drops, eyes going wide as she stares at the pair of them. “Um,” she laughs uncomfortably, “Sunghoon do you mind maybe… informing us as to who this is?”

Yunjin knows who Chaewon is, you know that. She's doing that thing she does where she tries to indirectly ask someone something without coming off as rude. For once, you're thankful for her weird methods.

Sunghoon clears his throat, his eyes flickering to yours for a split second before they return to Chaewon. “Right, uh,” he swallows, and you watch as his fingers flex at his side. A nervous habit. “This is Chaewon. We’ve been…seeing each other.”

You blink, your mind going a million miles a minute as you try to make sense of what he’s saying. The words are coming out of his mouth, and yet they still feel fake. Like a figment of your worst nightmare where the boy you’re in love with tells you he’s seeing someone.

“Seeing each other?” You repeat, voice raising in pitch. 

Chaewon nods, her lips curling up into a shy smile as she places a hand on Sunghoon's chest. “It was a recent development,” she chuckles.

You feel like you’re going to be sick.

Sunghoon smiles at her before removing his arm from her waist so he can gesture at the three of you. “How do you feel about dinner so Chae can get to know you guys? My treat.”

Chae. How long has this been going on for them to already have cute little nicknames for each other?

The thought of sitting at dinner with them sounds like torture. Having to sit there and watch him touch her? Smile at her? You don’t want to sound jealous (you are), but that’s supposed to be you. You’re the one he should be smiling at—you were the one! You can’t wrap your head around how he could suddenly be seeing someone when just last week he was smiling at you like you meant something to him?

Had you imagined it? Convinced yourself there was something there when he was just being friendly? But even Yunjin said he looked at you differently. Was she just feeding into your delusions?

Heeseung's voice pulls you out of your frenzy, and when you look up, he’s looking straight at you like he can read your mind. “Sorry, man,” he says, eyes staying on you for a moment longer before they shift to Sunghoon. “I’ve gotta get these pictures developed before they close the red room.”

Sunghoon waves him off, “don’t worry about it.” He says, “I’ll see you when we get home tonight. What about you guys?”

There’s absolutely no way you’re going to dinner with them. You can’t, like, physically can’t. You think you’ll die if you do.

Instead of saying that, or coming up with some kind of excuse, what comes out is, “I’m free.”

Yunjin's head snaps to you in shock, and then she blurts out a sudden, “same!”

Jake shrugs, “I’ve got nothing better to do.”

“Great!” Sunghoon grins, “let’s meet at that diner off of fifth? They’re usually open late.”

He walks away after that, hand in hand with Chaewon, and you watch them go while your heart sinks deep into your chest. She’s laughing at something he says, her free hand slapping his arm lightly, and he smiles down at her like she’s the only girl in his universe. The same way you thought he was doing to you.

“Well,” Heeseungs starts, his eyes finding you’d once again, like he can feel the hurt radiating off your body. He probably can. “Since when was that a thing?”

Jake shrugs the way most clueless men do. “No idea.”

The two of them walk away after that, and you’re thankful to be left alone with Yunjin.

“What the fuck?” She says, hands resting on her hips. “That’s gotta be a joke. Or maybe some kind of dare. I don’t fucking know, but there’s no way they’re actually seeing each other! He was literally blowing up your phone two days ago!” She snaps her fingers like she’s made some kind of profound discovery. "It must be some kind of spell. You know, I’ve always thought witches and magic were real–”

“Yunjin,” you interrupt, eyes already glassy and throat closing up with an onslaught of tears. You aren’t going to cry over him–that would be ridiculous, especially since you weren’t even dating, but that doesn’t mean it still doesn’t hurt. If you’re being completely honest, it hurts like hell.

Yunjin notices immediately, and before you can process it, she’s throwing her arms around you and pulling you into her chest in the middle of the field. “I’m sorry, babe,” she sighs, “I really thought he was going to ask you out tonight.”

She’s not the only one. 

You just shrug, doing your best to mask your hurt, even though you know there’s no point when it comes to Yunjin. You’ve only known her for six months, yet she’s the only person who can read you like an open book. “It’s fine.”

“It’s not,” she mumbles, pulling away from you and placing her hands on your shoulders. “But it will be. Because we’re going to show Sunghoon exactly what he missed out on.”

You snort, rolling your eyes and shrugging her off of you so you can make the trek back to your shared dorm. “What are you talking about?”

She shrugs, “you’ll see.”

You should question her. Should refuse to go anywhere with her until she tells you what her plan is, but you don’t do any of that. You trust Yunjin, and you know that while her methods may be strange, she does everything with good intentions. Besides, you doubt you won’t be able to handle whatever it is she’s cooking up.

The diner off of 5th is the only place that stays open after ten pm and still serves edible food. It’s a campus staple, which means it’s nearly always packed—especially after games. So, you aren’t too surprised that you have to weave through multiple bodies just to find the table Sunghoon had managed to snag for the five of you, and nobody comments when it takes you nearly five minutes just to make it from the front door to your seats.

“I’m starving,” Yunjin groans, her tongue swiping over her lips as she flips through the menu. The both of you know she’s just going to get the same thing she does every time, but she says she finds joy in looking unpredictable.

“Me too,” Sunghoon agrees. 

He looks good. Tired, but good. His hair is falling over his eyes in that dorky kind of way and he’s wearing his glasses—a rare sight. Normally, you’d be the only one doing this much analysis into his look, but when you glance over at Chaewon, she’s staring at him with a dopey grin on her face.

You frown and look down at your menu. You still don’t understand how this could’ve happened. It just didn’t make any sense. When you take out the part where you’re totally in love with Sunghoon, it still makes no sense for him to hide his apparent relationship with Chaewon. Was it a relationship? Are they even dating? Or are they just in that weird space between where you both know it’s going to happen, but they’re still choosing to dance around it?

You’d thought you were there with Sunghoon. You thought it was only a matter of time before he swept you off of your feet and confessed his love for you with some kind of grand, dramatic gesture.

But your life is clearly not a movie, because Park Sunghoon is reaching for Chaewon's hand under the table. His thumb is rubbing small, comforting circles into her skin, and she’s doing a very bad job at hiding her smile.

You shouldn’t have agreed to come.

Jake, for all his strange qualities, has always been observant (except when it comes to possible romantic partners), and he watches the entire exchange with narrowed eyes and bated breath. You’d never talked to him about your relationship with Sunghoon, but he (along with your nemesis) was the guy's roommate, so you assume he must've known that there was something going on between you. Unless you really are just delusional and everything had been entirely friendly.

“So,” Jake starts, wagging his finger towards the couple. “We’re so glad you’re here, Chaewon. Seriously. But I just can’t believe this is the first I’m hearing about…this. I mean, not to sound like a douche or anything, but I live with Sunghoon and he hasn’t brought you up once. He’s talked about–” his eyes find yours for a fleeting moment, before he clears his throat and tries to pretend it never happened. “It’s just kind of unexpected.”

Chaewon giggles, reaching a hand up and swiping her bangs over her forehead. They fall right back into place. “It was a recent development.”

Yunjin snorts, taking a sip from her cup with the kind of casual confidence you wish you had. “Clearly.”

If anybody catches the irritation in her tone, they don’t comment on it. 

“He actually hit me with a football during practice,” Chaewon laughs, bringing her arm up to rest casually behind Sunghoon. You can nearly make out her fingers playing with the soft hair at the nape of his neck. “It was the total opposite of a meet-cute. But it still worked out anyway, because he invited me to coffee as an apology and things just went from there.”

Coffee? He always takes you to coffee. Did they go to the same place you go to? Did he show her the secret menu that’s not really a secret? Did he joke around with your favorite barista like he does when he’s with you?

Your throat feels tight again, but you suck down a gulp from your drink and try to act like you aren’t on the brink of emotional collapse.

Yunjin smiles, but it looks forced. She taps your thigh once, like she’s warning you, but before you can question it, she’s already opening her mouth. “You know, that’s honestly kind of crazy. Two of my friends are getting into relationships at the same time. You’d think I’d get some of that luck too considering I seem to be the common denominator here, but nope!”

You blink. You love Yunjin, you really do, but outside of you the only other person you saw her consistently speak to is her pet gerbil. And even that was leaning into more of a casual situation lately.

Sunghoon’s eyebrows raise briefly, but he’s quick to lower them. “Really?” He mumbles. You can practically feel the curiosity radiating off of him. He’s always been way too nosy. “Who?”

The next few moments are still a bit of a blur in your mind. You remember feeling like someone had spilled a bucket of cold water on you, but when you ran a hand through your hair, it was completely dry.

Yunjin smiles, and she looks so innocent you almost believe the lie that rolls off of her tongue like honey. You probably would’ve if it didn't have to do with you. “[Y/N], you’ve been seeing someone recently as well, haven’t you?”

You nearly choke, eyes widening into saucers. You splutter for an answer, blinking rapidly as you do. “What? A relationship? I don’t–well, I mean–maybe–?” It’s not until Yunjin sends a swift heel to your shin do you manage to get out a full sentence. “Yes,” you squeak. “I have been…seeing someone. It’s very recent. Very new. Honestly, I’m just as surprised as you are that it happened so quickly.”

The table goes silent for a moment, and you suddenly feel very, very exposed. You know Yunjin knows you’re a terrible liar, she witnessed it firsthand when you tried to lie about eating her leftover cheesecake, and yet she thought making you lie in a group setting would make your skills any better? If anything, it just made them ten times worse!

You’re waiting for the inevitable–for someone to give an uncomfortable laugh before attempting to move the conversation forward. Meanwhile, you’re going to pray to whatever is listening up in the sky for the floor to swallow you whole and for this day to have never happened.

But that doesn’t happen. Instead, the next few moments are probably the most confusing of your life. 

“That’s good, [Y/N],” Sunghoon says, smiling at you the way he does with everyone else. It’s not the smile you’re used to. Not the curl of his lips that would send butterflies fluttering around in your stomach and make your cheeks burst with color. This one is practiced, easy. Entirely wrong. “Who’s the lucky guy?”

You pale, parting your lips to give some shitty excuse. Maybe your delivery man? You met when he was dropping off your amazon vibrator and he complimented you on the brand. A very plausible start to any college relationship, and it’d be easy to hide considering he’s not real. 

But before you can tell your made-up story, Yunjin beats you to the punch.

“Oh, you’re going to lose your mind. I know I did when she told me.” She laughs aloud, and when her eyes find yours, you suddenly wish you’d never even gotten out of bed this morning. Maybe finishing the course with a B wouldn’t have been so bad if it meant you got to avoid this terrible fate.

She leans forward on the table, lowering her voice into that soft teasing tilt she’s perfected. “She’s been seeing your other roommate. The one she apparently can’t stand.”

Jake’s eyes widen, his hands slamming on the table so he can lean against them and get a better look at you. He practically screams when he asks, “you’ve been seeing Heeseung?”

You should’ve just taken the dock off of your grade.

“Yunjin, do not come near me right now or I swear to God you’re going to be missing chunks of hair.”

She winces, hands immediately tugging on the red strands. “Anything but the hair! You know it’s my best feature.” She attempts to joke, but you’re having absolutely none of it.

“You realize they live with him, right? What happens when they ask him about his apparent relationship with me?” You snap, slamming the door to your dorm behind you. The walk here had been completely silent—or, at least, it had been from your end. Yunjin spent the entire time trying to act like she hadn’t just lied to all of your friends that you were dating Lee Heeseung. The one person in this world everyone knows you cannot stand.

She flops onto her bed and stretches her arms over her head. “They’re guys! They don’t talk about that kind of stuff. Jake didn’t even know Sunghoon was seeing Chaewon! Which, can we talk about that, actually? I mean, seriously, what the fuck? One second he’s taking you on these cute little dates and the next—”

“Yunjin,” you groan, rubbing the heels of your palm into your eyes. You’re absolutely exhausted, and you aren’t sure how much longer you can talk about Sunghoon without your head wanting to explode. “As much as I’d love to talk about Sanghoon's sparkling love life and my lack of one, I’ve got a nine am tomorrow that I’d rather not have to sleep through because I stayed up all night talking about my nonexistent love life.”

She nods, a small smile on her lips. "No, yeah, of course. But, before you become dead to the world, you’re actually kind of wrong about something.”

“What?”

“Your love life isn’t nonexistent,” she says thoughtfully. “You’re seeing Heeseung, remember?”

You throw the pillow at her so hard you’re surprised it doesn’t mold to her face.

You’ve always enjoyed your nine am literacy analysis lecture. After all, you’re an English major. Literacy analysis is kind of your whole thing.

The only part of the class that is mildly annoying is the fact that you share it with Heeseung. But, surprisingly, he rarely ever bothers you. You aren’t sure if it’s because he’s finally matured and realized it’s stupid to bother you during lecture, or if he’d just gotten bored of the entire thing. Either way, you’d be perfectly fine with whatever the answer was as long as it kept him away from you.

Today though, your nerves are practically fried. Does he know? Did he expose you? You don’t know why he would lie for you, and honestly, you don’t expect him to. He probably laughed out loud before Sunghoon and Jake even asked him about it.

God, you love Yunjin, you really do, but right now you wish she’d stayed home with her gerbil last night. Maybe that way she wouldn’t have been able to open her big mouth.

You don’t look at Heeseung when you enter. You don’t even look in his general direction. You just keep your head down and try to look as normal as possible through the lecture, which is exceptionally difficult when your mind is buzzing with so much nervous energy it could power the entire university.

The usual hour seems to pass by in a blur, and when your professor releases you for dismissal, you’re quick to pack your bags and make a swift exit. You're practically out of breath by the time you make it outside, but you’re relieved you managed to get out without having to make any contact with Heeseung. You aren’t sure you would’ve been able to survive the embarrassment.

You pull the strap of your bag further up your shoulder and pull out your phone, fully ready to call Yunjin and complain to her about the mess she’s gotten you into, but a call of your name forces your head up.

Heeseung makes his way over to you casually, a backwards baseball cap covering up his dirty blonde hair and his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans. He isn’t giving you that usual teasing smile he always wears when he sees you, instead he looks unusually serious. 

You tense, pulse pounding in your ears and alarm bells ringing in your head. You have half the mind to turn and make a run for it, but he reaches you before your feet can move.

“Hi,” he says simply. Casually. Like he’s talking to a friend and asking about the weather.

You hesitate, but return the greeting nonetheless. “...Hi.”

He cracks a smile, but scrunches his nose before it reaches his eyes and his lips fall back down into a straight line. “We need to talk.”

Your blood turns to ice, skin paling before you can stop it. He knows. And if he knows that means he told everyone the truth, and he’s probably already told the entire campus about your stupid lie as well. You’re going to be known as the girl who lied about being in a relationship because she couldn't accept that the boy she likes has a girlfriend, and then you're going to have to transfer somewhere else and start going by a new name. 

God, you are going to kill Yunjin. It’ll be like a final goodbye before you’re forced to move across the country.

You shake your head immediately. “No, uh, we don’t actually. I already know what you’re going to say, so I’ll just start packing my things now. No need for this awkward rejection or whatever–not that I’m being rejected by you. God, I’d rather die before I go out with you. But, Yunjin has a big mouth and I never know how to stop her before she says something stupid, so now my social life is totally dead and–”

You’re rambling so fast it takes a moment for you to register that Heeseung's laughing, and even longer to realize that he’s laughing at you. His shoulders shake from the force of it, and the back of his hand comes up to cover his mouth. If this was anyone else, you might even think he looked cute.

You swallow, unable to help the pout that forms on your lips. “And now you’re laughing at me.”

“I’m sorry,” he chuckles, taking in a deep breath and trying to find some composure. “It’s just…you’ve always been really good at jumping to conclusions.”

Your brows furrow, mouth parting as you try to process his words. What does he mean you’re good at jumping to conclusions? Why does he always talk like he knows anything about you? You know they shouldn’t, but the words tick you off. “What are you talking about?”

He shrugs, lips curving up into that smile you’ve unfortunately become way too familiar with. The one that screams trouble and always means he’s up to no good. “I have to admit, I was pretty surprised when Jake grilled me for half an hour last night on our apparent relationship–” you visibly wince, but he ignores it and continues– “but, I thought to myself, why on earth would [Y/N] [L/N] tell our friends we were in a relationship? I figured you had to have a reason, so I went along with it.”

Your jaw drops, eyes blinking a mile a minute like maybe that’ll help everything make sense. Newsflash, it doesn’t–if anything it just makes everything feel ten times more confusing. “You what?”

He shrugs, “you have a reason, right? Otherwise, we just became a couple for no reason. Unless that’s what you wanted? Was this whole thing just an elaborate scheme to get with me?” His voice drops an octave, and he takes a step closer, until suddenly he’s in your space and you can smell the fresh linen from his detergent and his cedarwood cologne. “You know, princess, if you wanted to be with me, all you had to do was ask.”

You might be extremely confused right now, but you’ve got enough sense to know that the last thing you want in your life is to be in a real relationship with him. And you definitely don’t want him calling you princess. 

You take a step back, your arms coming up to put space between the two of you. “Ew, no, absolutely not. Like I said, I’d rather die before I dated you.”

He hums, shoving his hands back in his pockets and beginning to walk away. “Okay. I’ll just go tell Jake and Sunghoon that you lied then–”

Your hand shoots out and wraps around his arm before you can stop yourself, and you feel the muscle tense up beneath your fingertips. He stills, his head tilting as he looks back at you.

You swallow, taking your pride down with the saliva. “I’m sorry,” you sigh out, “I just don't know how to go about this without sounding like a total loser.”

His lips curve up and he turns so he’s facing you fully. “You’re going to sound like a loser to me no matter what, so just tell me.”

You glower, your hand dropping back to your side. You try to ignore the warmth lingering in your palm as it balls up at your side. “I’ve had a thing for this guy–”

He nods. “Sunghoon, right?”

Is it really that obvious? You narrow your eyes, “How’d you know? Did he say something about me?”

He shakes his head. “No, but I’ve seen the way you follow each other like lost puppies. I’ve gotta admit, I was surprised when he popped out with Chaewon and not you.”

You don’t know if that makes you feel better or worse. If even Heeseung, the one person you absolutely cannot stand, could see that there was something between you and Sunghoon, then that must mean you aren’t delusional. But, on the other hand, it makes you wonder what made Sunghoon change his mind so quickly.

Were you trying to take things too slow? Did he get bored of the waiting? You thought the dancing around each other was sweet, but maybe he was looking at it differently. Maybe he just got sick of waiting around for you.

Heeseung must notice how your thoughts have wandered, because he waves a hand in front of your face and raises his brows. “You still with me?”

Your eyes snap to him and your cheeks heat with embarrassment. “Yeah, sorry, um, as I was saying, I’ve had a thing for him for a while. So, when he took us to dinner with Chaewon last night, Yunjin had this bright idea to say that I was also in a relationship with…you. And the whole thing just kind of spiraled from there.”

He’s silent for a moment, like he’s processing your words. “She said we were dating to make Sunghoon jealous? How does that work?”

You groan and run a hand over your face. “I don’t know! I don’t know what she was thinking! I’ve already yelled at her over it!” You feel your frustration building again, but you take a deep breath and force it down. “It was stupid. And now you’re dragged into this entire mess and I don’t know how I’m going to tell everyone the truth.”

There are a lot of things you dislike about Heeseung. He’s rude in that passive aggressive kind of way, and he only ever does it to you. He always forgets a pen and never gives yours back when you lend one to him. He’s wildly selfish and thinks that the entire world revolves around him. He also always manages to catch you by surprise, and you absolutely loathe surprises.

Today is no exception.

His lips part in thought, and for the first time you can actually see him thinking about what he’s going to say before he says it. Usually, he just blurts out whatever's on his mind and deals with the consequences later.

“What if…” he hesitates for a moment. “What if you didn’t tell them?”

“What?”

He splutters for a moment, a nervous laugh bubbling from his lips. “I just mean, what if we let everyone think we’re dating? Not that we actually date. That would be…awful.”

“Why would we do that, though?” You ask, crossing your arms over your chest. “It’s not like me having a boyfriend is going to change Sunghoon's mind. And what would you even get out of it aside from undeniable blackmail material?”

He shrugs, “actually Sunghoon looked pretty distraught last night. He kept asking me about you and our budding relationship.”

Your heart skips a beat at that. He was asking about you? It shouldn't affect you like it does, especially when he’s got a girlfriend, but the thought of him thinking about you has butterflies flying around your stomach.

Still, it doesn’t explain why Heeseung would want to help you. He’s never gone out of his way to do it before, so you don’t see why he would now. 

“But, what do you get out of this?” You ask, pointing a wary finger at him. “You’ve never been nice enough to actually help me before.”

He scoffs, “first off, that's not true. What about that science project we did Junior year? The one with the ant colony? I partnered up with you after Stella got that weird illness.”

“You mean the ant colony you released into Mrs. Hong's room? She made us deep clean the room every day for, like, two weeks. And Stella had pneumonia.”

“Yeah, but that was after we’d already gotten an A.”

You resist the urge to roll your eyes.

He sighs and pulls out a creme folder from his bag. He taps it once and hands it to you. You accept it questioningly, looking up at him through your lashes with suspicion. “What is this?”

“My portfolio,” he explains. Just as he said, when you open it there's what you think must be hundreds of photos. Some of nature, some of the people on campus, some of just random mundane things. They’re all breathtaking shots, and it's then that you remember he’s here on a full scholarship after winning some national photography contest. It’d been the only thing he talked about for weeks.

You knew he was going to win the moment it was announced.

“Wow,” you mumble, continuing to flip through the photos. “These are amazing.”

He brings a hand up to his neck and scratches at it nervously. “Thanks.”

One picture captures your attention. It’s a candid shot of Sunghoon in class, his glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose, eyebrows tucked in that adorable way they always are when he’s frustrated. The people around him are blurry, and you assume they’re getting their stuff for dismissal.

“The photography committee on campus is holding a competition,” he continues, “$100,000 and your pictures are featured in international art shows. But, in order to enter, I need a muse. Someone I can get consistent pictures of. If we’re “dating”, no one will question why I’m constantly taking pictures of you, and it saves me the hassle of having to ask anyone else.”

You raise a brow. He wants to be in a fake couple so that he can take pictures of you for a contest? It doesn’t feel like a fair trade to you at all. “Why don’t you ask Jake or Sunghoon? I’m sure they wouldn’t mind.”

He gives you a fixed look. “I already did, but they both claimed they were too busy. You’re my last resort before I start asking random people on campus.”

The explanation still feels weird to you, but you aren’t going to fight him anymore on it. Besides, you’re still trying to wrap your head around the fact that you’re now in a fake relationship with public enemy number one.

“So…what now?” You ask, closing the folder and handing it back to him. He takes it with steady hands, and when his fingers brush yours, there’s a solid five seconds where your breath catches in your throat and you almost forget about everything you dislike about Heeseung.

“Jay Park’s having a party tomorrow night,” he breathes, lips turning up into that awful smile. “Beer. Dancing. Maybe some weed. Sunghoon and Chaewon will definitely be there, which means you and I will also be there.”

Your nose scrunches at the thought. You’d only gone to one party so far, and the entire experience had been so awful you’d sworn them off completely.

“I don’t really do parties,” you mumble.

Heeseung snorts like that’s the understatement of the century. “We won't stay for long. Just long enough for Sunghoon to see us, and then we’ll go.”

You nod, and the air between the two of you suddenly feels heavy. Your tongue darts out to wet your lips and your eyes fall to the floor. “Thank you,” you say sincerely. “For helping me.”

He doesn’t smirk. Doesn’t tease. Just nods casually like fake dating people is something he does daily. “I’ll see you tomorrow night, princess.”

You really need to tell him to stop calling you that.

When you tell Yunjin, she doesn’t even try to act surprised. “I knew it would work out,” she says confidently, staring at a pimple in her reflection. “That's why I said it in the first place.”

You roll your eyes, fingers moving over your keyboard rapidly. You need to finish up your analysis paper before the deadline next week, but every time you sit down to write your brain wanders to dirty blonde hair and that annoyingly perfect smile.

“Whatever.” You mumble, “he’s expecting me to go to some party with him tomorrow night, but I don’t know. I really need to finish this paper, and the last time we went to a party I got so drunk I collided with the wall.”

Yunjin snorts at the memory, and then she’s standing and making her way over to you. She sits crisscrossed on your bed and ever-so-gently forces your laptop closed. You don’t argue with her, it’s not like you were getting anything done anyway.

“So, your fake boyfriend–who by the way, is super hot–is asking you to go to a party with him, and you don’t want to because you’d rather stay at home and analyze Edgar Allen Poe?” She asks, drawing out the sentence so you feel completely and utterly stupid.

“It’s not Edgar Allen Poe,” you mutter, “and, I don’t know, this entire thing just feels so insane! Like, what am I hoping happens? Sunghoon realizes he’s actually in love with me and breaks up with Chaewon?”

“Exactly that, yes.” Yunjin nods, like it’s obvious.

You shoot her a glare. “That’s not fair to either of them. If they’re happy, why should I try to ruin that?”

Yunjin sighs, her hands reaching out to grab yours. She brings them into her lap and squeezes them comfortingly. “If they’re happy, then you being in a relationship with Heeseung isn’t going to matter. But you said he asked about you, right? That means he still cares at least a little bit, and if that’s the case, then it’s not fair to Chaewon for him to stay with her.” She smiles softly, her shoulders bobbing as she shrugs them. “I don’t know what he’s doing right now, but I know that there was something going on between the two of you. And if you care about him, you shouldn’t let that go without a fight.”

When she wanted to, Yunjin could give some seriously killer advice. Your lips curve up, chest feeling lighter and mind not so hazy. “Thanks, Yunjin. Seriously. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Die, probably.”

You laugh loudly, throwing your head back with it. “Yeah,” you agree, “probably.”

The next night, your nerves are absolutely shot. Heeseung texted you that he’d pick you and Yunjin up from your dorm at seven, which meant you’d spent the entire day stressed out of your mind.

Sunghoon was going to be there, that much was obvious, but the thought of parading yourself around with Heeseung in front of him makes you feel sick. For one, he knows you. He’s always been able to see right through you, and you have half the mind to think he’ll make your little lie before you even step through the door.

You suck in a breath, your hands smoothing out the sides of your skirt. The dress Yunjin lent you is a lot shorter than anything you’re used to wearing, and the black cloth hugs your curves in a way you’re not entirely used to seeing on yourself. Your heels force your back to arch, highlighting the curve of your spine and the plump of your ass.

You give yourself a once-over in the mirror, hands coming down to tug the fabric further down your thighs. “Are you sure this isn’t too much?” You ask.

Yunjin clicks her tongue, and you can see her fighting with the straps of her own dress through the mirror. “Absolutely not. You look amazing. The guys are going to lose their minds when they see you in that.”

You raise a brow and turn around to face her. “Guys? Like, plural?”

“Well, yeah,” she shrugs, “Sunghoon and Heeseung.”

Sunghoon, yes. You’d love for him to notice you. But Heeseung? Absolutely not. You could seriously care less about what he thinks about you. He was there when you didn’t understand how to get rid of your acne and when makeup was more of a suggestion then something you actually did everyday.

“Ew, no,” you gag, “I don’t care what Lee Heeseung thinks about me. The only reason he’s even helping me is for his portfolio or whatever. He’s not doing it out of the kindness of his heart.”

Yunjin hums, smoothing out her dress and giving herself one final look over in the vanity mirror. She looks amazing–she always does. You aren’t jealous of Yunjin, but sometimes you wonder what it’d be like to have her confidence. “You seriously think he’s doing this just for his portfolio?”

“Um, yeah. That’s what he said.”

She walks over to you then, her chin resting on your shoulder. “I think–and don’t go nuclear on me for this–but I think he likes you. Like, like-likes you.”

A laugh bursts from your chest. That is the single most absurd thing you’ve ever heard in your life. Heeseung can barely stand being in the same room as you without having to get under your skin. He doesn’t like you, he just enjoys pissing you off. 

“You’re funny,” you snort, “and so insanely wrong.”

She shrugs and takes a step back from you. “I don’t know, [Y/N]. I don’t know many guys who get into fake relationships with people they dislike just so they can finish their portfolio.”

Your phone buzzes from your bed, and when you pick it up you’ve got a text message from Heeseung saying he’s here. 

“You don’t know many guys in general, Yunjin.” You retort. You quickly grab your purse and stuff your phone inside. “He’s here. Don’t say anything weird in the car, please. I think you’ve embarrassed me enough in the last two days to last a lifetime.”

“No promises,” she winks.

Heeseung's car isn’t super nice. It’s pretty typical for any college student, actually. There’s a scratch on the passenger side door and a dent on the hood, and it looks like it could definitely use a round through the car wash. But, despite that, the sight of it makes you nostalgic.

You remember when he pulled into your first day of Junior year with this thing. He bragged about it to anyone who would listen. He’d saved up the entire summer to buy it, and he treated the run down thing like it was his pride and joy. You wonder if that’s still the case today.

He’s leaning against your door when you step outside. Dirty blonde hair, backwards baseball cap, that same fucking smile. The sight alone is enough to irritate you.

But there’s a brief moment where the smile falters. His eyes trail over you, all the way from your heels to your eyes, and you swear you see his ears go the lightest shade of pink.

You raise a brow, but before you can comment on it the smile is back and he’s acting like nothing happened. “Nice dress,” he clicks his tongue, “I didn’t think you owned anything that didn’t look like it came from a librarian's closet.”

You hate him. You hate him so much it hurts your soul. It envelops your being like an ugly monster.

You want to tell him that, but you don’t, because at the end of the day he’s helping you for whatever reason, and your mother told you that hating people was inherently wrong. So, you swallow down your annoyance and make your way to his car. “Can we try and go one night without you being a dick?”

“I don’t know,” he smirks, “you’re the one dating this dick, princess.”

You frown and try not to think about the double meaning behind his words. “Fake dating,” you correct.

“Right. Fake dating.”

The tension between you is thick, and not in the way you’re used to. Instead, this feels like some sort of gravitational pull towards him. Something you’d kept buried that is trying to dig its way back from the grave.

Yunjin groans behind you. You’d nearly forgotten she was here. “God, can you guys just fuck already and get it over with? Your sexual tension is starting to make me jealous.”

“Yunjin!” You practically screech. Your hands gesture wildly as you attempt to defend yourself. “This is not–there is no sexual tension! That’s not what this is!”

She gives you a look that says: don’t make me call bullshit.

You sigh and run a hand over your eyes. “Just get in the car.”

The party is just outside of campus, in Jay Park's two-story home that he mysteriously pays for by himself. (Everyone knows he’s a trust fund baby.) There’s some stragglers outside, all holding red solo cups and trying to act drunker than they really are. You’ve never understood the appeal for parties. To you, they just look like sweat fests that people gaslight themselves into thinking are fun.

Yunjin gets out of the car as soon as you pull up and quickly makes her way over to some guy by the front door. You watch as she tries to talk to him, and for once he doesn’t look intimidated by her outgoing nature. It’s kind of cute, actually.

You, on the other hand, feel a bit sick. For one, you don’t know what you’re going to do when you see Sunghoon. Is he even going to care? Probably not. He literally has a fucking girlfriend, and here you are trying to show off for him like that’ll change anything.

“Hey,” Heeseung murmurs from beside you, his eyebrows knitted together in what you think might be concern. “You good?”

You blink. “I don’t know.” It’s the most honest thing you’ve said all night.

He’s silent for a moment, before he’s letting out a breath and turning to you. “You look good, [Y/N]. Really fucking good. Don’t let a dress like that go to waste because you’re in your head.” He emphasizes his point with a gentle tap to your forehead. “Let’s go in there and show Sunghoon exactly what he lost, yeah?”

You feel your cheeks heat at the compliment, but you force the words to the back of your mind to be dwelled on later. Right now, you just need to get out of this car and get through tonight without wanting to explode. And, honestly, you do want to show Sunghoon what he’s missing out on. 

“Okay,” you nod.

He grins. “Okay.” 

Inside, the party is practically buzzing with people. There’s a few people you recognize, but it’s mostly randoms that you didn’t even realize you went to school with. That’s the thing about college; you’re always meeting someone new. Your high school was the complete opposite of that–you knew everyone in your graduating class on a personal level.

Heeseung keeps a hand on your lower back the entire time, and for some reason, you’re grateful for the subtle comfort it gives you. Like it’s a reminder that he’s here and that you aren’t going into this mess alone.

You eventually make your way over to the drinks, and Heeseung grabs a can of alcohol for himself and water for you. You raise a brow as he hands it to you. You hadn’t planned to drink, but him handing you water makes you feel like he’s treating you like some little kid.

“Actually,” you clear your throat, pointing towards the other beer can on top of the ice, “I’ll have that.”

He looks caught off guard for a moment, but then he shrugs and hands the can over to you. You open it with a pop and immediately take a swig. It goes down like tar against your tongue, and your nose scrunches in disgust.

He chuckles, “sure you don’t want the water?”

You really do. “I’m sure.”

Your eyes search the crowd for Sunghoon, and sure enough he’s here. He’s playing beer pong with some of his friends from the football team, and Chaewon is at his side cheering every time he scores. They look perfect for each other, and your heart squeezes painfully at the sight. Your hands shake as you take another gulp of your beer.

Heeseung taps your waist once, before he’s tugging you into his side and pulling you towards the dance floor. Alarm bells ring in your head as you weave through the crowd. You can’t dance, anytime you’ve tried you’ve embarrassed yourself so bad you’ve debated never showing your face in public again.

“Heeseung,” you attempt, “I can’t dance!”

“Neither can anyone else here. Besides, we can’t just sit in the corner and expect Sunghoon to care. If he’s having a good time, you need to be having an even better one.” He says easily.

You scoff as he comes to a stop in the middle of the floor, directly in Sunghoon's line of sight. Heeseung has always been able to make confidence look easy–like it’s something he was born with. You, on the other hand, are not like that. Your movements are awkward and you fumble to find a rhythm that doesn’t make you look like you’re on the verge of collapse.

“Wow,” he laughs, whistling lowly when you nearly trip over your own feet. “You weren’t kidding.”

Your eyes narrow as embarrassment flushes your cheeks. “I told you! God, I’m going back to the drinks–”

Before you can walk away, he catches your wrist with his hand and pulls you back towards him. Your chest nearly collides with his, and his face is suddenly so close you can practically taste his breath on yours.

“I’m not making fun of you, princess.” He murmurs, his hands sliding up to rest on your hips, “just…observing.”

His voice is right beside your ear, and the proximity makes your body feel like it’s on fire. Suddenly, the room is too small and all you can think about is him. Sunghoon is a thought so distant in your mind you nearly forget you’d ever been thinking about him in the first place.

He brings his lips to your ear, his grip on your hips tightening the smallest bit. You wonder if he’s able to hear your heartbeat. If he can, does he know it’s beating so rapidly because of him?

“He’s looking,” he murmurs into your hair.

The call back to reality feels like a bucket of ice water against your spine. If Heeseung notices the way you tense, he doesn’t comment on it.

You clear your throat and try to ignore the way your voice shakes. “He is?”

“He was,” he grumbles with a click of his tongue. He pulls back so you can see his eyes, and for a moment you think he almost looks as wrecked as you feel. “I’m going to kiss you.”

Your eyes widen and you nearly choke on your own spit. “What?”

You barely have time to process before he’s bringing a hand up to cup your cheek, the other sliding to your spine and pulling you impossibly closer. You’re so close your noses are nearly touching, and his cedarwood cologne feels like it’s enveloping all of your senses.

“Trust me, okay?” He murmurs.

Later, you’ll say you don’t know how it happened. You’ll tell Yunjin that it all happened so fast and that it really wasn’t that big of a deal. He was just helping you get Sunghoon's attention.

But the truth–the truth is that you want him to kiss you. You want him to take your breath away and for his hands to hold you like he’s afraid he’ll die without you.

And that scares you.

All you can manage is one simple word. “Okay.”

And then his mouth is on yours.

The kiss is awkward at first, more a peck than anything else, but he slides his hand to the back of your neck and pulls you closer and suddenly his tongue is in your mouth and he’s kissing you like you’re something precious.

Your hands slide to his chest instinctively, fists balling up the fabric of his shirt between your fingers. His breath mingles with yours, and his tongue licks into your mouth like you’re the best thing he’s tasted in years.

You can’t help the whine that slides from his lips when he pulls away, your own lips chasing his without your permission. It’s like your body's an addict and he’s your drug of choice. 

Heeseung's lips are swollen and his pupils are completely blown, but you doubt you look much better. His tongue darts out to swipe at his lower lip, and then he’s smiling at you. But it’s not the teasing smile you’re used to or the one he gives everyone else. It’s softer. Real. 

Your lips part to say something, anything, but then your thoughts go back to Sunghoon and what comes out instead is a soft, “did he see?”

Heeseungs smile immediately drops, and something akin to disappointment flashes over his face. You don’t know why the sight makes you cringe internally. 

He glances up and nods his head. “Yeah,” he says, using his grip on your hips to turn you around, “he definitely saw.”

When you look, Sunghoon’s cheeks are pink and he’s staring directly at you. When he sees you looking, he’s quick to avert his gaze and try to act casually, but you know Sunghoon. He’s jealous.

This is a complete win.

So, why don’t you care as much as you should?

You should be ecstatic that Sunghoon’s feeling a certain way towards you. That’s the whole point of this stupid deal–to get Sunghoon back.

But when you turn back around and look at Heeseung, all you can think about is the way he smiled at you like you meant something to him. And how you hope he does it again.

It’s been a week since the kiss. A full week of acting like a couple. Holding hands on campus, cheek kisses in class, coffee dates at the cafe you used to frequent with Sunghoon. 

It’s…weird. Somewhere along the way, you stopped hating Heeseung's general presence. Instead of a nemesis, he’s managed to turn himself into someone you don’t really mind having around. A frenemy, maybe. He’s funny, something you never cared enough to notice before, and he’s got this soft side to him that makes your heart melt the smallest bit.

“So,” Yunjin grins, taking a bite of her ramen. “Any word from Sunghoon?”

Your mouth goes dry at the mention of your apparent crush. In truth, you hadn't really thought about him at all. You used to go to sleep imagining it was Sunghoon next to you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear and holding you like you were something fragile.

Now when you close your eyes at night, all you can think about is the way Heeseung's mouth felt against yours. The way his hands gripped your hips and held you close to him.

It takes everything in you to remember that Sunghoon is the goal. You’re just feeling this way because Heeseung kissed you. Once you have Sunghoon, you’ll get over it completely.

“Um,” you mumble, sinking further into your blankets, “not yet. But Heeseung said he saw him looking at us in the coffee shop the other day. That’s good, right?”

She turns to you, her eyes narrowed the tiniest bit. “It is. So why don’t you sound more excited?”

You immediately go on the defensive. “I am excited! I’m just…tired right now. It’s late, and I’ve been up since seven.”

“Whatever you say.”

In truth, you aren’t that excited. It’s nice that he’s thinking about you. It’s the entire reason you and Heeseung are doing this anyway. So why can you not bring yourself to care more?

Your phone buzzes next to you, and you have to dig through your sheets to find it. When you do, the screen is lit up with a message from Heeseung.

Hey, it reads, got time to take some photos tomorrow? There’s this park just a little off campus that I think would be a good spot.

Right. The portfolio. You’d been so busy with yourself you nearly forgot you were supposed to be helping him as well.

Sure, you reply, what time?

It doesn’t take long for him to respond. I’ll pick you up at eleven. Wear something nice, please.

You heart the message and set your phone down. You aren’t sure what something nice is supposed to entail, but you’ll do your best.

The next morning, you’re waiting outside your dorm in an outfit that you deemed appropriate for the park while also being cute. It isn’t something you usually wear–the long skirt feels restricting and the jean vest is more form-fitting then you thought it would be, but Yunjin swore up and down that you looked great, so you’re choosing to believe her.

You rock back and forth on your feet while you wait, scrolling mindlessly through your phone. Heeseung is never late, but today seems to be an exception to that.

You sigh, ready to turn around and go wait in your dorm, but the sound of your name catches you off guard.

When you look over, Sunghoon is walking over to you. He must’ve been on a run, because his arms are on full display in his sleeveless tank top. Usually, the sight would send your mind reeling. But now you barely even glance towards them.

“Hi, Sunghoon.”

He nods, coming to a stop a few feet in front of you. He’s close enough for you to see the moles on his face, but far enough that you can’t smell his usual expensive cologne. A complete opposite of Heeseungs soft cedarwood and linen.

Why the fuck are you thinking about Heeseungs cologne right now?

“I haven’t seen you in a while,” he says shyly, eyebrows knit together. “I’ve…missed hanging out with you.”

Your heart skips a beat, but for all the wrong reasons.

“Sorry,” you murmur with a shrug. “I’ve just been super busy lately. You know how it gets.” It’s not a lie, you have been busy. Just…busy with Heeseung.

He pauses, his tongue darting out to lick at his lips. He looks like he’s contemplating his next words, which is something you’ve never seen him do. It hurts a bit that your relationship has turned into this. Just a month ago the thought of ignoring Sunghoon would’ve seemed unfathomable. Both of you being in separate relationships (given yours is fake) would’ve been a complete joke. And yet here you are, talking like complete strangers.

“Yeah,” he says eventually, the words quiet and hesitant. “I’ve seen you and Heeseung around campus. I was a little surprised, honestly.”

Your response is dry. Bordering on the edge of annoyance. “Yeah. So was I.”

You both know you’re not talking about Heeseung. For a moment, he almost looks regretful.

“[Y/N]-”

“Hey.” 

You didn’t even notice Heeseung's beat up Honda pull onto your street, nor notice him walk out of it. He’s dressed casually in a Decalis University sweatshirt and gray sweatpants. His camera hangs off his neck and rests against his stomach, and his hand instinctively hovers over it as he approaches.

Relief floods your chest at the sight of him. You don’t know why. It must be some kind of hormonal thing.

Sunghoon takes a step back like he’s trying to put up an invisible wall between you. The two live together, and yet the tension radiating off of them makes you wonder what their living situation must be like right now. Jake must be in a constant state of stress.

“You’re late,” you murmur.

Heeseung smiles, his hand reaching for yours and pulling your wrist to his mouth. He leaves a soft kiss on your inner wrist, and your cheeks flare at the gesture. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles against your skin. “Traffic.”

You fold immediately. “It’s fine. I was just worried.”

Sunghoon must sense that he’s no longer wanted, because he murmurs a soft goodbye and makes a swift exit. You watch as he jogs away, his forming growing smaller and smaller, and it doesn’t hurt like it used to. It just feels like…nothing. You look back to Heeseung, and any tension you had melts.

“What was that about?” He asks.

You shrug. “Was just saying hello.”

“And?”

You raise a brow. “And what?”

“Did he say anything about me? About our relationship?”

Oh. Right. You’re in love with Sunghoon.

“Oh,” you clear your throat and attempt to act like you hadn’t completely forgotten your deal. “Yeah, he did. I think he’s jealous, but he’s still with Chaewon, so does it even really matter?”

“Trust me, it does.” He snorts, leading you over to his car. “He was talking to Jake last night about how he apparently isn’t feeling any sparks with Chaewon. He wants to break up with her.”

That’s good. That’s what you wanted. You should be ecstatic and your heart should be fluttering in your chest. Instead, all you feel is a cold pang of disappointment.

“Good! That's great. Amazing, even.” You say, attempting to sound the littlest bit excited, but it just comes off flat and dull. Like you’re talking about an assignment and not the boy you’ve been in love with for months.

He gives you a side-eye as he opens the passenger door for you, and you slip in like it’s second nature. At this point, it is. “You don’t sound too excited,” he observes.

You’re not, but you can’t say that. “I’m just shocked, I guess. I don’t understand why he even got with Chaewon in the first place if he didn’t feel anything for her. It’s kind of…mean.”

Heeseung takes a second to respond as he climbs into the driver's seat. He wordlessly hands you his phone and lets you put on your playlist–something you hadn’t even realized was an option. You play Ariana Grande and watch as Heeseung tries to act like he doesn’t enjoy it.

“Sunghoons always been like that,” he says eventually. “He’s impulsive. Doesn’t think about what he’s doing until he’s regretting it and trying to act like he’s not.”

“Why?”

Heeseung shrugs, glancing at you from the corner of his eye for a split second before going back to the road. “Don’t know. It’s just how he is.”

You chew at the inside of your cheek and look out the window. The campus passes by in a blur, people walking to class together, pigeons scavenging for any scraps they can get, the lecture hall you walk to every morning. It’s familiar. Comfortable.

You look back to Heeseung, and instead of annoyance, you get the same feeling you do when you’re looking at campus. Familiarity. Comfort. And it scares you so much your throat nearly constricts.

“Well,” you croak, running a hand through your hair, “that’s stupid. And all it does is hurt the people around him.”

“Yeah,” he agrees softly, “it does.”

You don’t talk the rest of the car ride, and you’re thankful for it. Your mind is too alert for conversation right now. You can smell his cologne, can hear him humming along to Needy by Ariana Grande, can feel his presence consuming your very soul. It’s too much. It’s not enough.

You don’t hate Lee Heeseung. Because your mother used to say that hate was just another word for love, and that is the last thing you feel for the boy you grew up with.

When you arrive at the park, you’re entirely too eager to get out of the car. You barely wait for him to park before you’re practically stumbling out of your seat with the ordinance of a baby giraffe. 

Heeseung gives you a look, but he doesn’t say anything about it. Just directs you to where he wants to go with confidence. His hand hovers at your lower back–never touching–just there. Like he’s unsure of what to do with himself when you’re not around your friends and having to keep up your act.

You don’t comment on it.

Eventually, he takes you to a small pond in the middle of the park. There’s white lilies around the water, each of them dancing in the wind while the water flows around them. The sun is bright, shining in your eyes and making you squint slightly. It’s pretty beautiful, actually. You had no idea this place was so close to your campus.

Heeseung directs you on how to pose. How to smile like you have no idea you’re being watched. It’s awkward at first, mostly because the only time you’ve ever had someone take pictures of you like this was during your high school graduation, but it doesn’t take long for the tension to ease into something softer. Easier. 

He tells you to sit on the grass and tilt your head towards the pond–but each shot he gets just doesn’t feel right.

“Maybe lean more towards the left?” He mumbles, hand flying out to gesture at you. You do as he says, but apparently, he’s still not getting the shot he wants. 

He clicks his tongue in frustration, “no–that’s not–just–let me fix you.”

You furrow your brows. What does that even mean? “You don’t need to fix me, Heeseung–”

He interrupts you with a laugh. “Not like that, idiot. God, you’re always so defensive.”

You part your lips to retort, but before the words can get out, he’s walking towards you and your chin is in his hand, and you suddenly forget how to communicate entirely.

He tilts your head where he wants it, the pink of his tongue poking out the tiniest bit. His face is so close that it takes everything in you to not remember how he’d tasted when his tongue was in your mouth.

You feel your cheeks heat up, but you let him do what he needs to.

“There, that’s the angle.”

“You couldn’t have just told me to tilt my chin up?”

He smiles and goes back to his camera. “I did, princess. You just don’t listen.”

God, he’s so annoying.

But still, your lips curve up and your heart gets that same feeling it did at the party. The one that you’re not quite ready to name.

“Do we really have to go to this brunch?” You groan, flopping down onto your bed. “Sunghoon and Chaewon are going to be there, and I really don’t feel like watching them be all over each other.”

Yunjin shakes her head, “that’s exactly why we have to go. So that you and Heeseung can do it right back to them.”

“They already saw us kiss! What more do we have to do? Feed each other and do that weird baby talk bullshit couples do?”

Yunjin gags and rolls her eyes. “I don’t know what couples you’re talking to, but please tell them I said to stop doing that immediately. But, no, that’s not what I meant. How is it going to look if everyone's there except for you and Heeseung?”

“Um, fine? No one’s going to care.”

“It’s going to look suspicious. Everyone knows you had a thing for Sunghoon before he popped out with Chaewon. You and Heeseung need to prove to everyone–not just Sunghoon–that you’re actually in love.”

You sigh. You know she’s right, you just hate it. Why do you need to prove your fake relationship to your friends? It feels wrong. It feels like lying.

Actually, it is lying. 

“I hate lying to everyone,” you sigh, hugging your pillow to your chest. “Makes me feel like a bad friend.”

“You’re not a bad friend,” Yunjin reassures, rolling her chair over to you. It gets caught on the rug for a moment, but she’s quick to force the wheels to move again. “Besides, what they don’t know won’t hurt them.”

You give her a look. “That’s like, the worst advice you’ve ever given me.”

She chuckles, “sorry I’m not well versed in the art of therapy for fake dating. I’ll make sure to switch my degree to better accommodate you.”

“That would actually be great, thank you.”

She takes in a breath, her hand reaching for yours. “Just…don’t think of it as lying. Think about it like two friends helping each other out.”

“He’s not my friend.” You scoff, but the words don’t hold any bite behind them. Not like they used to, at least.

Yunjin grins knowingly. “Yeah, he is.”

You don’t bother correcting her again.

Brunch is at noon at that diner off of fifth. The same one you’d gone to when this entire mess started. The same one you’d started falling in love with Sunghoon at. It’s weird now, seeing how much your life has changed in the short amount of time since you were last here.

You have a fake boyfriend now. You don’t talk to Sunghoon. Your life feels like it’s falling apart and coming back together all at once.

You and Heeseung sit next to each other wordlessly, both of you more cautious about touching. It feels like there’s enough space between your leg and his to fill out the Grand Canyon. It shouldn’t bother you, but it does.

Sunghoon holds Chaewon's hand under the table, and their shoulders brush every time they move. It’s irritating and annoying and you strangely enough couldn’t care less about it. That sense of jealousy you’d felt the last time you were here no longer spills over your guts like acid, instead you feel nothing.

You try to force yourself to remember what you’d liked about Sunghoon. He’s kind. Smart. Dedicated. Absolutely fucking gorgeous.

But he’s not…

“Honestly,” Jake says between spoonfuls of biscuits and gravy, “when Yunjin told us you guys were seeing each other, I thought she was lying. I mean, you guys couldn’t even be in the same room without having some kind of argument.”

You tuck a strand of hair behind your ear nervously, “yeah. I was pretty surprised too.”

You don’t miss the way Heeseung cracks a smile at that. “It was kind of sudden, but I'm glad it happened.” He says easily, “means I finally get to stop pretending I can’t stand her.”

You can tell he hadn’t meant to say that last part, because his eyes go wide and he tenses for a second. Not long enough for anyone to catch it, but you do. You see the way fear flashes behind his irises for a moment, the way his breath catches before filling out his chest once again.

Sunghoons throat bobs as he swallows, dark eyes darting between the two of you slowly. “Pretending?” He asks cautiously, like he’s testing the words on his tongue.

But you don’t care about Sunghoon. All you can think about is what Heeseung said. I finally get to stop pretending I can’t stand her. Is he being honest? Or is this all just a part of your act? You hate that you can’t tell.

“Uh,” he laughs nervously, bringing a hand up to scratch at the back of his neck. “When we were in school, I didn't know how to get her attention. She was smart and kind and friends with everyone, and I was just…there. She used to do this thing in kindergarten where she’d wait for everyone else to fall asleep during naptime before she did because she didn’t want anyone to have to sit there alone, and I remember thinking she must’ve been sent by some kind of angel.” He laughs then, a genuine one. The kind that lights up his entire face.

You hadn’t even remembered you did that, but it’s true. You did. It always just felt like the right thing to do, but the fact that he remembers it all these years later makes you feel almost dizzy. 

“I think it was in third grade when I figured the best way to get her attention was to piss her off,” he continues. “I don’t know why. But I spent the next ten or more years making sure I annoyed her to the best of my ability. I think I just decided that I’d rather have her hate me than not have her in my life at all.”

The table is silent aside from the people talking around you. They’re all having normal conversations while you're going through the biggest existential crisis of your life. You understand that this is supposed to be fake–but that didn’t feel like something he made up on the spot. It felt like he was finally coming clean about something that’d been sitting on his chest for years. And if that’s true, where does that leave you?

“Heeseung…” You attempt, eyes searching the side of his face. When he turns to you, he looks more sincere than you’ve ever seen him. His hand reaches for yours under the table and he intertwines his fingers with yours. The hold is gentle, soft, right. It feels like you’re exactly where you were always supposed to be.

“Sorry,” he laughs, turning back to the group. “That was kind of sappy.”

“Nah, man, that was beautiful.” Jake murmurs, bringing a hand up to his chest. “I’m happy for you guys, seriously.”

“Yeah,” Sunghoon nods, “you guys are good for each other.” He looks resigned. Like he’s accepting defeat. It makes something click in your brain.

For the first time in your life, you think you’re starting to see Heeseung exactly for who he is.

You don’t notice the way he looks at Sunghoon. Or how he swallows back his pride and comes to terms with what he knows he has to do.

You don't comment when he pulls his hand away from you, you just assume it's because he wants to be able to properly eat his food.

When brunch is over, you say your goodbyes to everyone with a pep in your step. You know that telling Heeseung how you’re feeling might complicate things, but he basically just confessed that he remembered things you did in kindergarten. You don’t remember that kind of stuff unless it means something, right?

“I’ll walk you back to your dorm?” He murmurs next to you, and you nod.

“I’d like that.”

There’s tension in the air as you walk, one that you’re practically dying to address. But Heeseung doesn’t look like he did in the diner. He looks conflicted, scared–he keeps his eyes ahead and his hands shoved into his pockets. Nothing like the bright boy you’d been sitting next to barely an hour ago.

“Are you okay?” You ask, voice soft.

He doesn’t even glance at you. “I’m fine.”

“Then why do you look like a kicked puppy?” You attempt to joke, but he doesn't laugh. Instead, he pauses on the sidewalk, and you barely get a few feet in front of him when you notice he’s stopped.

“What’s going on, Heeseung?” You attempt again, reaching for his hand. He pulls it back so sharply you nearly flinch.

“I think…I think we need to stop.” He says finally.

Your heart drops. “What? Why? Did I–Did I do something to make you uncomfortable?"

“No, no, it’s not–” He runs a shaky hand through his hair, “fuck, it’s not you.”

You raise a brow. He’s not making any sense. He wants to stop now? After what he said in the diner? “Then what is it?” You snap.

He shakes his head like the words are too painful to speak. “You like Sunghoon, [Y/N], and he’s going to break up with Chaewon soon. I got the pictures I needed for the competition. There’s no reason to drag this on any longer than we already have.”

His words shouldn’t feel like a breakup, but they do. God, they do.  They feel like he’s pulling away from you after you’ve finally come to terms with what you feel for him. “What about what you said in the diner?” You ask finally, voice breaking. “I can’t just act like that didn’t happen, Heeseung. Not when I’m finally–I’m finally…” The words get caught in your throat, but you both know exactly what you mean by them.

His hands squeeze into fists at his side. “That didn’t mean anything, [Y/N].” he says lowly, like breaking your heart is something he does daily. Maybe it was and you just never noticed before. “It was just helping the act. Keeping up the lie. That’s all.”

Tears come to your waterline, the back of your throat beginning to ache from the force of it. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do,” he says firmly, but you can see the way his eyes are beginning to turn glassy. “I really do.”

He turns on his heel then, leaving you alone on the sidewalk and turning his back onto whatever fucked up thing it is you’ve built together. 

Your mother used to say that hate and love were synonymous. You know now that she was wrong.

Because what you feel for Lee Heeseung has nothing to do with love, and everything to do with pure, unadulterated hate.

Your phone chimes, and when you check the notification, what you see doesn't make you feel good. It doesn't bring joy to your heart or make you want to skip down the street. Instead, it makes your heart break a little bit more.

Yunjin: Sunghoon just broke up with Chaewon. We’re so in

You should be happy. This is exactly what you wanted, right?

So why do you feel like you just lost the one thing that mattered the most?

You haven’t talked to Heeseung in three weeks. He transferred out of your shared class–something you didn’t even know was possible this late into the semester–and stopped showing up to any group hangouts. Not that you care, obviously. 

The both of you said your breakup was mutual. That the stress of school and work just didn’t make a relationship possible, but there weren’t any hard feelings. Jake had raised a brow at the entire thing, but ultimately accepted it without a word.

But, Sunghoon seeing the both of you being single at the same time again, decided that meant he could shoot his shot. Which is good–it was the entire point of this entire thing, right?

Sunghoon is nice. He holds the door open for you and he pays for your meals and he takes you back to that coffee shop the both of you loved so much.

He is perfect for you in every sense.

But when he sits next to you, you don’t feel that same spark low in your belly. When he makes a joke, you don’t laugh until you swear you’re going to run out of oxygen. He doesn’t look at you like you mean something to him.

Yunjin's not dumb, she knows something's wrong. Just a few months ago you would’ve been ecstatic at the idea of going on dates with Sunghoon, so why do you seem like you couldn’t care less about him now?

“Are you okay?” She asks, voice filled with concern. “You’ve been…distant.”

“I’m fine,” you answer a bit too quickly. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don't know, why don’t you tell me?”

You blink, turning to look at her in your mirror. You’re in the middle of getting ready for you and Sunghoons third date. He told you to dress nicely for dinner, but all you can think about is the fact that Heeseung would be presenting his pictures for the contest tonight. You didn’t even get to see them, which is more annoying than anything else.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Yunjin.” You lie.

She sighs, crossing her arms over her chest and making her way over to you. She smooths down the hem of your skirt without a second thought. “Fine. You don’t have to tell me but, if it’s because of Heeseung–”

“It’s not.”

“–If it’s because of Heeseung, then I’d understand.”

You freeze, eyes snapping to hers. You never told her about the last conversation you’d had with Heeseung, because you figured there wasn’t really any point. He’d “broken up” with you, and that was that. It doesn't mean anything else.

You want Sunghoon. You know you do. It’s the entire reason you and Heeseung came up with that stupid plan in the first place. You aren’t going to throw away a good guy because you’d gotten confused.

“It’s not,” you lie again, “I’m just stressed with finals and stuff. That’s all.”

Yunjin obviously doesn’t believe you. You don’t blame her, of course. You’ve always been an awful liar.

She doesn’t say anything for a moment, and you’re already dreading what she’s going to say. Every time Yunjin goes silent, it always means she’s going to say something that you probably don’t want to hear. 

“You know,” she starts, voice soft and low, “I’ve never seen you look at anyone the way you looked at him.”

You freeze, a shiver rushing down your spine like ice cold water. “What?”

“I just mean–” She backtracks for a moment before deciding to just say it, “you never look at Sunghoon the way you looked at Heeseung. You looked…happy with him. Like, actually happy. Not just because you thought you were supposed to be, but because you actually felt it.”

You go silent at that. You were happy. Even if you hadn’t wanted to admit it–even if you were fighting it for whatever reason. “I’m happy with Sunghoon.” You say with finality, but you both hear how your voice shakes.

“If you say so,” she sighs, turning back and sitting at her desk. “What’re you guys doing tonight?”

You’re grateful for the change in topic. “He’s taking me to dinner,” you shrug, clipping on your earrings. “Somewhere fancy, I guess.”

She hums. “Do you think he’s going to kiss you tonight?”

God, I really, really hope not.

“I hope so,” you answer instead. Maybe kissing Sunghoon will be exactly what you need to get your mind off of him. “I think I’ve waited long enough.” You laugh, but it’s weak. Dishonest.

Yunjin frowns at the sound of it, but she doesn’t push. “Yeah,” she mumbles, “me too.”

Sunghoon arrives at five on the dot. Just like he said he would. You should’ve been watching the clock because you were excited for him to get here, but instead all you could think about every time you glanced at it was how nervous Heeseung must be right now. The contest starts at seven, which means he finds out in the next two hours if he wins the money. Your hand twitches at your side. You want to text him and say good luck, but you don’t. 

“You look beautiful,” Sunghoon says. He’s all dark hair and dark eyes, not a single hair out of place. His suit looks expensive, and you wonder if he bought it just for the occasion. That definitely feels like something he would do.

“Thank you,” you respond, hoping he doesn’t see how fake your smile is. “You clean up pretty nicely as well.”

“I try,” he jokes, outstretching his arm for you. You take it easily, but it doesn’t feel right in your palm. It’s sturdy, easy. But, it doesn’t have any of that fire that you think it should.

Sunghoon is a gentleman the entire night. He takes you to eat, makes corny jokes, kisses your knuckles with pink cheeks. And it’s good. It’s so, so good. It’s exactly what you’ve always wanted.

But when you close your eyes, it’s not Sunghoon you see.

It’s dirty blonde hair covered by some ratty baseball cap. It’s that fucking teasing smile that you used to hate seeing. It’s watching him grow up and having him remember things about you that you’d completely forgotten about.

It’s him. Heeseung.

Sunghoon leads you to your front door nervously, his eyes searching yours like he’s trying to get some kind of read on you. You wonder if he can see that your heart isn’t here–that it never was.

“I had a good time tonight,” he says, lips curling up into a soft smile. “I hope it was the same for you.”

“I…” Your words catch in your throat. You know what the logical thing would be to do right now. Accept his compliments, kiss him sweetly, go into your room giddy and wait for him to text you. But it’s wrong. It’s so, so wrong.

“Sunghoon,” you start, eyes filling with tears. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

He’s silent for a split second, like he’s trying to process your words. “Why?” He asks, “Did something happen? Did I–Did I do something?”

God, you wish he had. That would make this entire thing so much easier. 

“No,” you laugh wetly, “It’s not you. It’s–it’s me.” You know it’s cliche, but it's true. Because while you should’ve been enjoying him tonight, all you could think about was Heeseung. About the way he’d kissed you at the party. About how he always looked at you like there was more he wanted to say but he just never knew how.

Sunghoon blinks, his eyebrows knitting together and creasing his forehead. “What?”

“You’re perfect, Sunghoon.” you start, the words flowing out of you like you’re finally admitting them to yourself. “And for a long time, you were everything I ever wanted. You went to the cafe with me. You invited me to your games. I thought–I thought that I’d finally found the person I was meant to be with.”

“I–I don’t understand,” he murmurs, “Is that not how you feel anymore?”

Your heart constricts as you shake your head. “I wanted to. I really, really tried to remind myself of how I felt for you before. But…”

It takes him a second, but you see the exact moment recognition flashes across his face. He takes a step back from you, lips falling into a straight line. “But I’m not him.”

You can’t help the sob that rips from your throat. “I’m so sorry, Sunghoon.”

You half expect him to yell, maybe flip you off and drive off in his Porsche while he gets Chaewon on speed dial. But he doesn’t. He stands there for a long moment, breathing slowly, tongue poking the inside of his cheek every now and then.

And then he looks up at you, at the tears staining your cheeks, at how the honesty ripped out of you like a force of nature. He checks his watch–6:50 pm. Ten minutes before the contest starts.

“Come on,” he says, already jogging to the driver's seat.

You’re frozen, watching him with wide eyes. Did he not hear what you just said? “Sunghoon–”

He gives you a look so sharp it nearly steals the breath from your lungs. “We’ve got ten minutes to make it to that contest, and unfortunately, I’m not very big on breaking traffic laws. So, hurry up and get in!”

You gawk at him, a smile curling onto your lips, but you run into his car, nevertheless.

He was right, he’s not big on breaking traffic laws. But you see he’s going five over the speed limit compared to his usual three, and that feels like it counts for something. Even though you’d been leading him on for the past three weeks, he’s still trying to make sure you’re happy. He’s still looking out for you. 

“Thank you,” you sniffle. And you truly mean it.

His gaze stays glued to the road. "Don't mention it.”

You arrive at the photography center with two minutes to spare. Sunghoon doesn't even let you say bye, just rushes you out of the car and wishes you good luck. You don’t look back as you run inside.

You’re thankful you at least dressed nicely for the date, because everyone in here looks like they come from money. Women in floorlength gowns, men in suits you’re sure cost more than your entire tuition. These must be the donors.

The hall is filled with pictures, some simple–some you think you have to be involved in the community to understand. But even as you practically sprint down the hallway, Heeseung is nowhere to be found.

“Please make your way to the dining hall as the photography committee prepares to announce the winner of this year's $100,000 grant!” A voice rings from the intercom, and you blindly follow the crowd into the large room parallel to the hall.

It’s filled with tables, and there’s a stage right at the front of the room with a podium and a giant projector. There’s nothing on it yet, but you’re assuming that’s where they’ll show the winning portfolio.

The tables all have name cards, so you do your best to conspicuously make your way to the back where nobody will notice you standing awkwardly. Plus, from back here it’ll be easier to try and find Heeseung.

You study the crowd, looking for the familiar head of blonde hair, but you come up empty. For a second, you wonder if he’s even here. He has to be here, you think. This is everything to him.

But every time someone new walks in, it’s never him.

You rock back and forth on your feet, a nervous habit. Pretty soon all the chairs are filled out and Heeseung is still nowhere to be seen. You wonder if he’d dropped out of the contest, but that still wouldn’t make any sense. Why would he drop out when photography was so important to him?

You reach for your phone, half tempted to call him and ask where the hell he was, but the lights dim and the president of the photography committee walks up the podium. She’s an older woman, with pin straight grey hair and huge glasses. She has to pull down the microphone to match her height. Heeseung used to joke that even though she looked like she belonged in a Disney movie, she was the toughest mentor he’d ever had. 

“Thank you all for coming tonight,” she starts, voice light. “We had many great admissions this year. All of which I personally took the time to look through, and let me tell you, there was some tough competition. I almost threw up my hands and gave the money to everyone!” 

The crowd laughs at that, but you can tell it’s just them being polite. “But, unfortunately, we can’t do that. So, after many sleepless nights and lots of talks with the committee, I was able to come to a decision. This year's winner is someone I think has put in more effort into his photos than anyone else I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with. He’s not naturally talented, no, but he’s dedicated. He takes risks. He tries new things and doesn’t shy away when they don’t work.”

The projector begins to come to life. “As you know, this year's theme was muse. The participants were meant to find a singular person and put together a portfolio of said person.”

The first photo flashes against the screen–and your breath catches in your throat. It's you. But it’s not the ones from the park, no, it’s you in class. Your pencil is in between your lips; brows scrunched together the way they always are when you get frustrated. You’re not wearing any makeup–hell, you look like you just rolled out of bed!

Your breath catches as the photos continue. Some of you in class, in the diner, at that God forsaken party. All pictures that look old and new at the same time. You can tell some are from after this entire mess started, when you and Heeseung started to actually enjoy each other's presence. You look happier in those ones.

But there’s some from before too–when the only times you ever thought about Heeseung were when you were thinking about how much you can’t stand him. Those ones are mostly you in class, all of them shot from the same angle. There’s a few of you from group hangouts, and you wonder how you never noticed him taking them. Maybe it’s because you’re just so used to seeing him with his camera that you stopped noticing it entirely.

It’s the last photo that really gets you though. It’s from the park, you’re sitting in the grass, head tilted to the side, lips curling up into a soft smile. You’re looking into the camera–or, behind it actually–directly at Heeseung, and the look in your eyes is enough to knock the breath from your lungs.

You look like you’re in love.

“This year's winner–though I doubt anyone's surprised–Is Lee Heeseung!”

You barely register her words, because all you can see is Heeseung walking up onto the stage. So that’s where he was, you think.

He’s wearing a suit, though it doesn’t look nearly as nice as everyone else's here. His dirty blonde hair is actually styled for once, and his lips are curled up into a small smile. But it’s not the one you’re used to seeing. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes, doesn’t make his face light up like it usually does. Despite winning, he looks almost sad.

He gives a small bow at the podium, shaking hands with the Committee President. He looks nervous as he comes up to the mic, and you squeeze your hands together. Does he want you here? Should you try and make your presence known?

You are the girl in his photos, after all.

“Wow,” he starts, voice shaking slightly. “This is…an honor. Really. I didn’t go into this contest thinking I would win. In fact, I wasn’t going to enter at all. Not until I realized I’d already accidentally found my muse.” He laughs then, but it’s short. “I entered for selfish reasons. Not for the money. Not so that I could get my photos in international shows. But, because I wanted an excuse to get closer to her.”

His eyes scan the crowd, until finally, they land on you. His eyes widen for a moment, lips parting in shock. For a moment, you think he wants you to leave. You wouldn’t blame him if he did.

But he smiles. Really smiles. “None of this would’ve been possible without her.” He continues now, voice more confident. “These photos would’ve sat tucked away in my camera forever. But she made me confident. She reminded me of why I love photography in the first place. So, I’m dedicating this grant to her. To my muse.” His eyes find yours again. “My [Y/N].”

You don’t get a chance to go up to Heeseung until after all of the sponsors have congratulated him, which admittedly takes a lot longer than you think either of you would like.

You can see him on stage, shaking hands with people who you assume must be important. He never keeps his eyes on them for too long. Instead, they trail over to you, like he’s hoping he’ll be able to communicate with you through eye contact.

By the time you can actually speak to him, the hall is mostly empty aside from a few stragglers. He approaches you with caution, like he’s scared of getting too close.

“Hi,” he breathes, stopping a few feet in front of you.

“Hi,” you say back.

The air is softer than it had been the last time you’d seen him. Then, it was harsh. Like smoke filling into your lungs. Now, it feels like a breath of fresh air.

You’re both silent for a moment, like you’re unsure of what to say to each other.

“I broke it off with Sunghoon,” you say eventually, eyes falling to the floor. 

He blinks. “You did?”

“I did.”

“Okay.”

More silence.

“You took pictures of me,” you observe.

“I did.”

“Why?”

He laughs, a full hearty sound, like he’s caught off guard by the question. You don’t know why he would be. You think it’s a perfectly fair thing to ask.

He shrugs, “I felt inspired by you.”

You raise a brow at that. “Inspired? By what—me chewing my pencil like a child?”

He grins, shoving his hands into his pockets. “No. I was inspired by how I felt when I looked at you.”

That makes you pause. “What?”

He fiddles with the corner of his pocket, thumb grazing it once before darting away. He sucks in a deep breath, and then finally, he says everything you know he’s been holding back.

“I’ve been in love with you since we were six years old,” he starts. “Ever since I watched you stay up the entire nap time because Jungwon couldn’t fall asleep. I knew right then and there that I loved you and that I was going to continue to love you for as long as I knew you.”

You can’t help the way your eyes go glassy, heart thumping a million miles an hour in your chest. “Heeseung…”

He doesn’t let you finish. “But I was shy—well, scared is more like it—I was scared that you weren’t going to want to be my friend and I would never be able to be around you.”

“Why would you think that?” 

He shrugs, “why does a third grader think anything?”

You don’t have a reply for that.

He sighs before continuing. “After that it just…became a thing. Our thing. I annoyed you and therefore I got to keep being in your life. Even if it wasn't what I wanted, I figured it was better than not being around you at all.” He swallows, tongue darting out to wet his lips. “But then we got to university and you met Sunghoon and I felt you slipping away from me, and I didn’t know what to do with that. I thought that maybe…maybe it was time for me to let you go.”

Your heart cracks at the strain in his voice, like he’s recalling a bad memory.

“So, I’m sure you can imagine my surprise when Jake came home and started asking me a million questions about our apparent relationship.” 

“Oh, God,” you laugh, shaking your head at the memory. At the time, it’d genuinely felt like the end of the world. Now, you really can’t imagine where your life would be without Yunjin's lie.

For starters, he probably would’ve never told you this, and you would’ve gone your entire life chopping up your relationship to nothing but a high school rivalry that didn’t have any deeper meaning. You would’ve never found out he felt this way—or that you feel the way you do.

“It was good,” he starts again, “pretending. Even though it wasn’t really pretending for me. And then we went to that diner and I just…I got scared. I didn’t want to hold you back from what you really wanted. I thought, she’s hated me for years, at least now she’ll have an actual reason. And I wanted to be okay with that. I really did.” He takes a step closer. “But now you’re here. And I think I know why, but I’m getting tired of assuming things, princess. So, I think you’ll have to tell me.”

You suck in a shaky breath, your own hands fiddling with the hem of your dress nervously. “I…tried. With Sunghoon. I thought it was what I wanted, the easiness of it all. He was kind and he made bad jokes and I thought I was content with that.” 

You roll your eyes, “But then you happened.” You say it like it’s an insult, but you both know it’s not. “And every time I was with him all I could think was how his car didn’t have that mysterious dent in the front. How he didn’t let me play pop music and pretend he wasn’t singing along when we both knew he was. How he didn't make me feel like I actually meant something to him.” 

Your eyes find his for the first time since he approached you tonight. “All I could think about was how he wasn’t you.”

For a brief second, the only noise between the two of you is your breathing and the faint hum of people around you. Heeseung's lips part, his Adam's apple bobbing as he takes in your confession. He’s silent for so long you nearly think you overstepped.

But then he’s taking a step towards you and cradling your jaw with his hand. You don’t move away.

“I’m going to kiss you now, okay?” He says, and the familiarity of his words brings a smile to your face.

“Okay. I trust you.”

And then his lips are on yours.

This kiss is different from the first one. It’s not hungry, not a performance for anyone else. This kiss is solely for you, for the love you’ve found and never plan on losing. It tastes like him and feels exactly like coming home.

His thumb rubs the apple of your cheek, his lips moving against yours slowly. He doesn’t use tongue, but you don’t need him to.

When you finally pull away, he rests his forehead against yours and brings his hands down to your waist. They feel heavy against you, like a claim you never knew you needed.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” he murmurs.

You giggle, bringing your own arms up to wrap around his neck. “Have you?”

“Yeah,” he responds, “along with…other things.”

You raise a brow at that, “yeah? Like what?”

That’s exactly how you end up back at his apartment, his lips moving against yours like he’s trying to memorize your body with them. Jake and Sunghoon are out thankfully, which means you’ve got the entire apartment to yourself. 

Heeseung leads you blindly to his room, never once turning away from you or attempting to look where he’s going. You laugh as he trips over the carpet, but he swallows it with his mouth on yours.

“You’re so beautiful,” he says against you. You don’t even notice you’ve made it into your bedroom before your legs hit the mattress and suddenly, he’s pulling you down onto it. “Been waiting so long to have you like this.”

“Yeah?” You manage to say, your voice airy. “Show me, then.”

He pulls back for a moment, eyes looking directly into yours, and then he’s moving his lips to your neck. He leaves wet kisses down the column of your throat, your shoulder, sucking marks into the delicate skin of your collarbone. 

His teeth graze a particular spot at your neck that makes you gasp, and he processes the noise with a slight groan of his own. He bites down on the spot–not hard, just enough for your back to arch and your fingers to find purchase in his hair. Your legs wrap around his waist as his tongue shoots out to soothe the bite.

Slowly, he brings a hand up to the strap of your dress, his fingers slipping under it but never pulling down.

“Hee,” you practically whine, “please.”

He grins, and then he pulls the strap down ever so slowly. You know he’s teasing you, and the thought makes heat pool between your legs.

Once the dress is off, he throws it to the side and sits back on his heels so he can stare at you. You still have your underwear and bra on, but the sight of your bare stomach and legs is enough for him to let out a low whistle.

“You’re so beautiful, princess,” he murmurs. The sincerity in his voice makes your cheeks hot. “So fucking perfect.”

Your lips part to respond, but he leans down and kisses you again. This kiss is different from all the others. It’s messy and deep and pulls noises out of you that you weren’t even aware you could make.

He sucks on your bottom lip once, and then he pulls away and leaves kisses all down your body. Down your neck, your cloth-covered breasts, your stomach, all the way down until he leaves one final kiss at your ankle. 

He seats himself at the edge of the bed and ever-so-gently pulls you down so your legs hang over the edge of the bed and your cunt is level with his face. He stares at it for a long moment, at the wet patch growing on the lace. At your pretty white panties.

Your hands fist the sheets, legs nearly closing on instinct, but he just pushes them over his shoulders and keeps you open for him. “Don’t hide from me,” he mumbles. His hand slowly trails up your thigh until it finds the edge of your underwear.

He keeps it there for what feels like forever. Never touching. Just looking. 

“Please,” you whimper, “please touch me.”

He grins, “yeah? Want my mouth on you, baby?”

You nod, hips rolling against nothing. “Yes, fuck, please.”

That seems to finally break him, because he licks one large stripe up your cunt through your underwear. You gasp at the feeling, your back arching slightly.

He continues licking small kitten-licks over your panties, and the mixture of his saliva and your arousal begins to turn the cloth nearly translucent.

He groans like the taste of you is his favorite meal. “You taste so good,” he murmurs against you, “like heaven.”

You bite your lower lip to keep yourself from crying out when his tongue catches your clit, and then he brings his hands up to your waist and pulls your underwear down your legs. You don’t miss the way he stares at them for a second before letting them drop to the floor.

He spits on your cunt, watching the way his saliva drips down your slit before he sucks your clit into his mouth.

You cry out at the feeling, your toes curling at his back. He groans at the taste and brings his hands up to your hips, gripping them and keeping them still.

“Fuck,” you moan when he brings his tongue down to your hole, collecting the arousal there like it's his own personal ambrosia.

“All this is for me, right?” He questions, trailing a hand down and rubbing his thumb against your clit. The feeling has your head spinning. “Not for Sunghoon, all for me, isn’t that right, princess?”

You nod feverishly, his possessiveness nearly enough to make you finish right there and then. “Yours! ‘S all yours.”

He smirks, “that’s a good girl.” 

And then he brings a finger to your entrance, circling over it once before letting it slip inside the ring of muscle. The air punches from your lungs at the feeling, but then he sucks your clit into his mouth again while his finger thrusts into you and you really think you’re going to start seeing stars.

“Hee–Heeseung,” you cry, “fuck!”

He hums but doesn’t stop. Instead, he pushes a second finger inside and begins to curl them upwards. You feel him hit that spongey spot inside of you and you know you’re done for.

“I’m close–fuck,”

He doesn’t work you harder, just keeps going at the pace so he can drag out your orgasm for as long as possible. “Come on, baby, cum for me. Show me just how bad you want it.”

That’s all it takes for you to release all over his face and hand. Your muscles tighten and relax over and over again, back arching and vision going white. He groans and licks up every drop, working you through it without a complaint.

You expect him to stop now that you’ve finished, but he doesn’t. If anything, he goes harder. The overstimulation begins to border on the edge of too much, and your hips buck up without your permission.

“Fuck, too much, I cant–”

He doesn’t let up. “Yeah, you can. Come on, wanna see you fall apart for me all over again.”

It doesn’t take long for your second orgasm to crash over you, and this one nearly leaves your body feeling limp and your pulse to blare against your ears.

Your body is still twitching from aftershocks when he climbs up next to you, and you watch with blurry vision as he brings his fingers up to his mouth and licks them clean. He hums at the taste and then brings his hands to the hem of his shirt and slips it off.

Your eyes trail over the sight of his bare chest, noting every ridge of muscle and mole, watching the way his chest heaves slightly. He’s absolutely beautiful, like a painting you’d find at some stupidly expensive art show.

“You’re beautiful,” you murmur.

Now it’s his turn to blush. His ears and cheeks turn a slight shade of pink, but he brings his lips down to yours before you can tease him for it.

Before you know it, his underwear is off and he’s lining himself up with your entrance. He looks up to you for permission, and you nod at him.

Pressure blooms between your legs as he pushes in, but it isn’t exactly painful. It just feels like something you never knew you needed. Like he was made exactly for you.

You keen, back bowing off the bed and eyebrows knitting together. He brings a hand up to cup your cheek and rests his forehead against yours as he finally bottoms out.

You can feel him kissing your g-spot, and he experimentally rolls his hips against yours once. You both groan at the feeling of you tightening around him, and then he pulls out slightly and snaps back in.

You cry out, your nails raking down his back. He hisses slightly at the sting but doesn’t make any moves to stop you. Instead, he begins to rock onto you like his life depends on it. You can feel every ridge of his cock; can feel the way it curves at just the right angle. 

“You feel so fucking good,” he gasps, “so perfect. Always knew you would.”

He buries his face into your neck, his hips snapping against yours like his life depends on it. 

You feel yourself getting close, but before you can warn him your back is arching and you're finishing against him.

He cries out, his thrusts beginning to turn sloppy. “Fuck, fuck, I’m–” He finishes inside you without another word, painting your insides with his cum. 

You both lay there for a moment, trying to catch your breath. He pulls out of you with a low breath and then reaches over for something at his nightstand to clean you up silently.

You watch him as he does, noting the way he cleans up your thighs with so much care. He doesn’t rush the aftercare process either, he kisses your skin gently and murmurs sweet words against you.

By the time your thighs stop shaking and you actually feel like you can breathe without your chest caving in, he’s laying down beside you and pulling you against his chest.

You lay there for a moment, feeling the way his chest rises and falls against your back. The warmth from his skin.

“Heeseung?” You mumble.

“Hm?”

You blink, a smile curling onto your lips. “I love you.”

He doesn’t even hesitate. “I love you, too.”

And for once, you know that you both mean it.

Your mother used to say that hate was just another word for love. And right now, you know that she was right. Because what you feel for Lee Heeseung used to have everything to do with hate, but now you know it was really just another word for love.

By lunch your entire department knew of this boyfriend and you were being questioned to no end. Your coworkers didn’t mean any harm, not really, your office building could get so boring and mundane on a Tuesday afternoon, what else is there to do but gossip? You managed to avoid certain questions until they practically begged you to bring him to the annual holiday party. 

The entire drive home you considered every possible way out of this, you considered not going to the party altogether, feigning sickness or telling them your boyfriend was to spend the holidays with his family back home. Whilst believable, you knew the nosy older ladies in your office would only ask for pictures and more details afterward. 

It wasn’t until you got home, finding Jungwon sitting on the couch already in his pjs watching some old action movie, the kind that had cartoon-like sound effects and funny studio lighting, that the idea popped into your head. Anything after that was pure word vomit of this master plan that could possibly end up messier than it was worth. 

“Please, Jungwon, you’re my only hope! My only other close guy friends are Jake and Sunghoon. Jake works in the same office as me, everyone in our office has seen us together and no one is going to believe we’re dating. It’ll just be messier in the long run! And Sunghoon has a girlfriend!” You clasped your hands to your chest, pouting slightly to express the distress in your tone. 

“Why can’t you just tell them your boyfriend can’t make it?” He shook his head, leaning forward to rest his arms on his knees as if in deep thought. 

“They’ll only ask for pictures after, if I bring someone to the party with me that’ll be proof enough. They can meet you, ask whatever they want to ask. We just have to lie for one night and it will all die down after that. Please?” 

Jungwon looked up at you, his eyes studied your own and you can sense the hesitation in them. The two of you were not only roommates, you’ve been very close friends for years. Your best friend from college, Sunoo, introduced you once you were looking to move into the city. You were searching for a place to stay and Sunoo knew his friend, Jungwon, was looking for a roommate. Everything worked out pretty well after that, you moved in and now here you were nearly three years later. 

“I don’t know y/n this could get complicated.” His eyebrows knitted together in that unfairly attractive way they always did when he was deep in thought. A characteristic you had hidden in that little folder in the back of your mind along with other things about Jungwon that you pretend not to notice. 

“Come on, you have literally nothing to lose. You will never have to see these people again, if anyone has to deal with the consequences it’s me at work.” 

Jungwon looked over you again, noting the way your lips pushed outwards in an annoyingly adorable pout, he wished he could say no to you. 

“Fine, just one dumb holiday party.” 

The night of the party came by a lot faster than you were prepared for. With you being swamped at work and Jungwon constantly in and out of the studio, the two of you barely had any time to work out how you would go about this. 

It seemed simple enough but you knew you had to at least come up with one solid storyline for this to be believable. Which is how you found yourself sitting in the passenger seat of Jungwon's car as he drove to the party, fingers tugging at the hem of your festive patterned sweater, asking the most ridiculous questions for the sake of preparing yourself for tonight. 

“I don’t think they’re gonna ask us which side of the bed we sleep on, y/n.” He chuckled, gripping the steering wheel with his right hand as his left forearm rests on the door. 

“You don’t know that! You are seriously underestimating how nosy some of my coworkers can be.” 

Jungwon shook his head, not bothering to hide the amused grin playing at his lips. “Okay, let’s just keep it simple, hmm? We met through a mutual friend, started off as roommates then friends and about let’s say…four months ago we started dating. If they ask why you haven’t mentioned me before, just say you didn’t want to say anything until you were sure we were serious. We’re already best friends so we know a lot about each other, just stick as close to the truth as possible. Oh and I sleep on the right side of the bed, the one closest to the door. Always.” 

You couldn’t help but stare at him in awe, he seemed so calm about this as if it was normal to pretend to be in a relationship with your best friend. Maybe you were over complicating things, surely this wouldn’t be too different from your normal life, you and Jungwon were already very close, talking about him and acting comfortable around him is second nature to you. 

“Okay, lets keep the pda to a minimum though, I’ll stand by your side, maybe you can place your hand on my back or hold my hand occasionally, we shouldn’t over do it.” You added, nodding to yourself. 

Jungwon raised an eyebrow in your direction, turning to face you momentarily before looking back onto the road. Without hesitation he switches the hand on the wheel, his left hand taking over and his now free right hand travels down to hold your own two hands that were still pulling at loose threads of your sweater. The sudden contact made you flinch, your eyes darting up to his in search of an explanation. 

The corner of his lips lift upward into another amused smirk, “No one is going to believe we’re boyfriend and girlfriend if you flinch every time I touch you.” He says matter-of-factly. 

“I won't, I just wasn’t expecting it.” You try to defend yourself. He squeezes your hand once.

“That’s the point, baby.” He replies, the grin on his lips never faltering. 

“Baby?” Your eyes widen again in shock although your mind is still very much aware of his hand still on yours. 

“Sorry, do you prefer princess? Maybe sweetheart? My love?” Jungwon laughs this time, slightly throwing his head back as he enters the parking garage for your building. 

“Very funny.” You shove his hand off of you, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“Come on, we’ve got a long night to get through.” He pats your knee once as he parks into a spot. He’s quick to get out of the car, walking over to your side to open your door and extend a hand out for you to take. 

“You ready, darling?” He winks as he throws another pet name at you just as you grab his hand. “Be good, Jungwon.” 

“That’s Wonie to you.” He smiles again, turning to walk beside you with his hand placed comfortably on the small of your back as you walk into the building together. 

The two of you make your way into the building, heading for the large conference room that was turned into a makeshift party room for the night. The team at HR helped decorate the room to make it feel as lively and inviting as four white walls and a bland carpeted floor could muster. 

All eyes were on you the second you walked in. Well, really, they were on the man standing behind you. Jungwon was the kind of man to demand attention in any room he entered, regardless of who his real or pretend girlfriend was at the time. 

You lasted all but fifteen seconds before the group of ladies standing around the refreshments table circled around you. “There you are! y/n, this must be your boyfriend, introduce us!” 

Jungwon only smiles as you introduce him to the older women, his hand finds its way around your waist in an almost possessive manner. 

“It’s so nice to meet you, I’ve heard so much about all of you.” Which is true, after countless nights coming home from work just to rant over a glass of wine with a very tired Jungwon, he didn’t have to lie regarding that. 

“We haven’t heard nearly enough about you! Tell us, how long have you been together?” Then came the flood of questions and comments,

“Do you two live together?” 

“Who asked who out first?” 

“You’re such an attractive couple!”

“The flowers you sent her last week were beautiful!” 

Jungwon's eyebrows perk up at the last comment, sparing a glance down to you in question. You had forgotten all about that, those flowers were one of the main reasons you found yourself in this mess. The beautiful array of roses had been an early Christmas gift from Jay, as printed on the small card placed neatly against the bouquet. No one had seen who they were from so you threw out the card, left your office to reject his affections once again in the nicest way possible just as you had several times before. Only this time you found yourself saying you had a boyfriend. 

Jay was more than surprised, you had never even shown signs of having a partner before that day. You kept the flowers at your desk, not really knowing what to do with them and somehow that led to the entire office assuming you had a boyfriend as well. 

One of the ladies from the front desk smiled, “Yes, those roses were gorgeous, I saw when they got delivered. They got to her office before she did in the morning.” 

Jungwon grinned but slowly shook his head, “I’m sure they were but I’m afraid I can’t take credit for those. I wasn’t the one to send her those flowers, if I was I would’ve known to send her hydrangeas, those are her favorite.” He squeezes at your waist, pulling you closer as a sign of affection in front of the others. 

The ladies swooned momentarily, as did you before you caught yourself. Your eyes widened, right hand coming up to rest against his chest as you smiled up at him adoringly. You had mentioned it in passing surely, living together for almost three years there’s a lot he probably knows about you that you don’t realize and vice versa. Still, the casual mention of your favorite flower along with his nearly imperceptible possessive tone is enough to make your breath hitch. 

“Well, if that wasn't you then who was it?” 

You shrug, “Not sure, they were beautiful though. But Jungwon’s right, he’s always gotten me hydrangeas, I instantly knew they weren’t from him.” The lie spills past your lips all too easily just as you notice Jay walking up to you, a drink in one hand as his other rests in his pocket. 

“I don’t believe we’ve been introduced, I’m Jay.” He holds his hand out before Jungwon, plastering an award winning grin on his face. You had given Jungwon the run down on Jay and his flirtations so he was more than prepared for this interaction. 

“Nice to meet you man, I’m Jungwon.” He shakes his hand, matching his smile without ever letting go of your waist. Some of the ladies had dispersed now, making small talk conversation around you whilst still being within earshot. 

“Hey, I hope you don’t mind me keeping your girl late some nights, that Taiwan proposal was very demanding, I wouldn’t have been able to do it without her.” Jay’s expression is charming but his tone is striking, you hadn’t expected him to play it like this. Jay had always been a gentleman toward you, sure a bit insistent with this flirting but he had never crossed a line as broadly as this before. 

Jungwon doesn’t seem phased, almost like he was expecting this from the start, his grin only widens. 

“Don’t worry about it, my girl is the best at what she does. I don't blame you for asking for her help.” He smirks at him, you can feel the way Jungwon’s fingers flex against your hip. “And besides, it worked out perfect on nights I’d get back late from the studio. Usually I get home way later than her so on those rare chances we get home at the same time, we definitely take advantage to spend more time together before bed. I should be thanking you, really.” The innuendo isn’t missed on either of you, the smirk on Jungwon’s face says it all. 

You have to hold back a laugh as Jay’s jaw clenches, his grip on his glass tightens. In contrast, Jungwon looks the picture of calm. “You want a drink, baby?” He turns to look at you but your eyes are already on him. He waits for you to nod before turning back to Jay, “If you’ll excuse us.”

The two of you manage to find a table after grabbing some wine, taking a seat next to each other. You cross your legs, turning to face Jungwon just as his hand casually  comes to rest over your legs, holding you in place. This proximity and casual touching was becoming more and more normal as time went on.

“That was perfect.” You whispered to him with a smile. You turned, expecting him to be smiling with you but instead his jaw was set, eyes focused on one corner of the room. You follow his eyes, finding Jay conversing with another associate from a different department. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“That’s the asshole that won’t leave you alone?” His voice is quiet but stern. 

“He’s not all bad, really. He’s usually more composed than that, I really don’t know where that came from.” It’s true, Jay's sudden change of character upon seeing you with Jungwon was unexpected. He had always been so kind and proper you wouldn’t have guessed he’d be the type of guy to subtly challenge someone's boyfriend. 

“Looks pretty bad from where I’m sitting. He ever make you feel uncomfortable?” His eyes turn to you then, all serious and protective you almost let yourself fall into the immersive role of him being the jealous boyfriend. 

You shake your head, “Nothing like that, he gets flirty but it’s never inappropriate. I’ve tried shutting him down before but it’s my fault for not being as stern as I should’ve been. That’s why I told him I had a boyfriend, I thought he would surely back off then.” 

“Any respectable guy can tell when a woman isn’t into him, if he was as kind as you say he would’ve taken the first hint and it wouldn’t have had to go this far. Now he’s threatening me, knowing I’m your boyfriend.” He takes a sip of his wine then, his sharp jawline poking out as he swallows down the scarlet liquid. 

Boyfriend. Not fake boyfriend, just boyfriend. He said it so definitively, you couldn’t bring yourself to correct him. 

“He crossed a line, let’s just hope he gets the hint now, yeah?” Jungwon nods in agreement, hand squeezing your knee softly in reassurance. 

The night seems to go by pretty quickly after that, you converse with some coworkers, Jungwon constantly at your side while you do, occasionally jumping into the conversation whenever prompted to. 

It was about an hour before midnight, most people had gone home by then, you and Jungwon found yourselves talking to Jake about some mutual friends you have when Jungwon received a phone call. 

“One second, baby, it’s Heeseung from the studio. I'll be right back.” He informs, pressing a fleeting kiss to the side of your head before walking out into the hallway. You almost freeze at the contact, despite him having his arm around you all night, the kiss was unexpected. You recovered quickly though as Jake continued the conversation as though everything was normal, though you guess for him it was. 

The silence of the hallway provided Jungwon a moment to speak with Heeseung, he called about an upcoming meeting and new deadlines for a client. A new artist they’re working with requested a change in their sound, this would set back their work by at least a week. Jungwon ran a hand through his hair, groaning at the news. “Yeah, yeah, that’s fine I’ll stay late tomorrow if I have to. We’ll scrap what we got. Cool, thanks.” 

The call ends and just as Jungwon is about to turn back into the conference room he finds Jay leaning against the wall with a glass of some dark liquor in his hand.

“Hey man, look I don’t like getting involved in stuff but I just wanted to let you know man to man,” Jungwon raised an eyebrow in question at the man, who clearly looked like he had one drink too many, “Your girl has been flirting with me for a while, I mean she’s clearly into me. She only told me she had a boyfriend a couple days ago. Just looking out man, who knows what would’ve happened between us if she had never mentioned you.” The smirk on the man's face tells Jungwon exactly what he thinks would have happened. 

An ugly, angry, feeling stems deep in Jungwon’s chest, he feels his jaw clench. If only Jay knew how you would have never allowed that, how he would never allow that. 

“Is that so? Because what I heard is that you have continued to bother my girlfriend despite her telling you over and over again that she’s not interested. She didn’t tell you about me because it’s none of your business, she only chose to tell you hoping you’d finally get the hint but it seems you still don’t get it, huh?” Jungwon stares him down, eyeing the drink in his hand and how Jay clutches the glass. 

“If you’ll excuse me I have to get back to my girlfriend, I would appreciate it if you left her alone from now on but hey, thanks for looking out.” Jungwon walks past him with a grin, patting his shoulder as he does. 

Back inside the room, he returns to your side instantly, jumping right back into the conversation between you and Jake like he never left.

Another half hour or so passes before you squeeze Jungwon's arm, deciding to call it a night. “We should go, Jungwon’s got work tomorrow and I’m getting pretty tired, right, love?” You look up at him with pleading eyes and Jungwon only smiles warmly in return, nodding. 

“Yeah we should head home. Jake, man, it was really great to meet you, I’ve heard great things, we should meet again.” He goes to shake his hand which your coworker happily takes, “Likewise, we should all get drinks one night, I’ll introduce you to my friend Riki. I think you two would really get along.” Jungwon nods happily and you bid your goodbyes to the rest of them. 

Jungwon doesn’t let go of you the entire walk to his car, opening the door for you and only letting go once you sit down. 

“I don’t like that Jay guy, you’ll let me know if he bothers you again, yeah?” He says after a few moments of silence on the drive home. 

“I don’t think he will but yes I promise I will let you know if he does. Is everything okay, did he say something else to you?” You study him, the way he grips the steering wheel with both hands he clearly looks bothered by something. 

He hesitates, you can pinpoint the exact moment his body slightly tense and his jaw clenches. “It’s not important, I think he finally got the hint but if he says anything or makes you feel uncomfortable just let me know.” You nod along, knowing better than to argue with Jungwon when he gets like this. 

When his voice drops an octave or two and his eyebrows strain together in a focused gaze, he was so stern like this and it’s very rare he used that tone on you so you weren’t about to push your luck. 

“I’ll tell you, I promise.” You reach over the center console to softly squeeze his arm in assurance. Jungwon tenses under your touch, feeling the ugly feeling from earlier return deep in the pit of his stomach. He wasn’t sure what to call it yet and he was still trying to decide whether he liked it or not.

The following weeks after the holiday party were shadowed by a tense cloud that seemed to hover over your shared apartment with Jungwon. He’s been working day in and day out thanks to changes with their client and the label. You barely saw him at all, sometimes you’d cook dinner and leave him a sticky note on the fridge, if you were lucky you’d wake up to a missing tupperware and a response on the same note stating, “thank you.” 

You weren’t much better off either, you were tasked to work on another proposal with Jay for an international deal that was currently putting you through the ringer. If the stress of the workload wasn’t enough, working with Jay now was no walk in the park. He was less flirty than before but even now you continue to catch him staring at you with dark eyes. It’s a bit unsettling, the other day you hadn’t realized your skirt had ridden up slightly until you felt the burn on his gaze onto your skin. 

He also continues to ask about your reservation for the company gala coming up, surely wanting to know if Jungwon will be there. Each time he asks, you avoid the question, you haven’t mentioned the gala to Jungwon and you don’t intend to. He’s been so busy with work there’s no way you would bother him with your nonsense right now, you were sure to survive one night without him. 

With the gala just over a week away work was piling and deadlines were nearing. Thankfully you had somehow managed to leave the office at a reasonable time today, slipping into the elevator before Jay could keep you later under the guise of unnecessary modifications for your proposal. It was only 6:30pm by the time you got home, the earliest you’ve returned all week. 

You hadn’t expected to find Jungwon in the kitchen, serving himself some pizza he happened to buy from your favorite place. 

“Whoa, hey, you’re back early. Good you can eat while it’s still hot.” He greets you with a smile, despite barely seeing each other since the party there was no awkward tension between you. Things may have gotten quiet around you but never awkward, Jungwon wouldn’t let that happen. 

The smell of the fresh pizza was enough to have you drooling before you finished taking off your shoes. Jungwon was already serving you a plate along with a soda. He set your plates down on the dining table, waiting for you before taking a bite of his slice. 

“How was work?” He breaks the silence first. “Exhausting, I’m all over the place recently.” You sigh, biting into the pizza. 

“Is that why you forgot to mention the gala your company is hosting?” He raises an eyebrow at you, smirking slightly due to the look of surprise on your face. 

“How did you know about that?” 

“I bumped into Jake yesterday, he mentioned the gala and said you’ve been so busy with your project that you haven’t submitted your rsvp so he just marked you down for a plus one, he said he expected to see me there.” The look on his face tells you he’s not at all bothered by this information but still you find yourself wanting to apologize. 

“Jungwon, I am so sorry I dragged you into this, I’ll come up with some excuse, I’ll say you got sick or had to go into work.” You’re already shaking your head, coming up with a dozen different believable excuses so Jungwon won’t have to be involved again. You had promised this ruse would only be for one night, that was all he agreed to.

But Jungwon was already shaking his head before you could finish your sentence, “Why would you do that? Your boyfriend should attend this gala, I hear you might get an award.” 

Boyfriend, once again missing the ‘fake’ in front of it. And once again you don’t find yourself correcting him.

“Jake really told you everything, huh?” You scoffed to which Jungwon only nodded, “Yup, wish it would’ve come from you though. Were you not planning on inviting me?” 

“Jungwon, our agreement was that you pretended to be my boyfriend for the holiday party, remember? I don’t think we need to continue, they know you exist, they saw you once, that’s enough.” 

The brunette across from you hums, “Is that Jay guy still bothering you?” 

You hesitate, teeth pressing down on your lower lip before you speak, “Not really.” 

“That’s a yes, I’m going. My job clearly isn’t done if that guy still thinks he has a chance with you.” 

It was decided then, Jungwon left no room to argue. The following week passed and before you knew it you were slipping into a beautiful dark floor length gown. You stared at your reflection in the mirror, trying to zip up the rest of your dress but not being able to reach on your own. Your hair and makeup were already set, jewelry highlighting your soft skin. 

Jungwon was waiting for you in the living room, he had been ready for at least thirty minutes now but he knew better than to rush you. 

Accepting defeat you huff, holding the dress in place before calling out his name in the quiet of your apartment. Almost instantly, three soft knocks are heard at your bedroom door. 

“Come in, I can’t zip this up, could you help me?” You ask just as the door creaks open. Jungwon all but freezes at your doorway, eyes sliding down the length of your body and your exposed back. You felt a heat wash over yourself under the heavy weight of his gaze. 

“Jungwon?” Your tone was breathless, not wanting to disturb whatever hovered in the distance between you. Jungwon cleared his throat, taking soft hesitant steps toward you before standing behind you. Your eyes meet his through the reflection of your full body mirror. He doesn’t say a word as his fingers trail down the length of your back, tracing the zipper until they grasp the end. His eyes follow the zipper as he closes it, watching the pieces of fabric connect to cover your soft skin. Once it’s fully closed you adjust your hair back, letting it drape down your back. 

“Thank you.” Your voice is shaky, you’re sure he catches it too but he doesn’t say anything about it. “You look beautiful.” As if compelled to do so, Jungwon presses a soft kiss to your bare shoulder, surprising himself just as much as you. 

“Thank you, you look handsome tonight.” Jungwon was an attractive man, so attractive that you almost refused the offer to move in with him because you knew you wouldn’t be able to put that aside. It’s very rare that he dresses up like this though, suit and tie with his hair styled neatly in a way that exposes his forehead. His lips curved into a shy smile at your complement, hand coming down to squeeze your waist before taking a step back. The newfound distance provides you with room to breathe. 

“Ready to go?” You nod along and soon thereafter the two of you find yourself in an extravagant ballroom. Your company hosts this gala every year to honor its associates and partners. This year in particular you and Jay were nominated for an award for your work on the Taiwan deal. It was a high honor and whilst you were incredibly grateful, you weren’t prepared to share a table with Jay because of it. 

The seating charts had you and Jungwon in a large round table along with Jay, Jake, and Sunghoon with his girlfriend. Sunghoon didn’t directly work for your company but he was a representative for a loyal partnering company. You have worked together so often at this point you consider him a friend just as you did Jake. You have met his girlfriend, Sooha, a couple times too so seeing her was always a plus. 

“Jungwon, y/n! Nice to see you guys.” Jake smiled, standing up from his seat to greet you. Jungwon keeps one hand on the small of your back, the other shakes Jake's hand. “Great to see you again, Jake.” 

“Sunghoon, Sooha, this is my boyfriend, Jungwon. Jungwon, this is Sunghoon and his girlfriend.” You introduce them, greeting the two kindly. Sooha smiles at you and gives you a brief hug as the men shake hands. 

“Hello, Jay, you know Jungwon.” You force your lips into a tight smile. Jay nods, lifting his glass in greeting. The six of you find your seats again, Sunghoon starting a conversation instantly about some new project his company is starting but the work talk only lasts a couple minutes before Sooha leans closer to you, tilting her lips up in a smirk. 

“You look gorgeous tonight, you two make an attractive couple.” Sooha smiles at you. A warmth colors your cheeks, “Thank you, that’s kind of you. I’m glad I could finally introduce him to you guys.” 

Sunghoon turns to look at you then, “Me too, I can’t lie I was a little surprised, I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.” Sooha nods in agreement, “Yeah me neither, I had no idea.” 

“Oh you weren’t the only one.” Jay adds, his tone is bitter as he lifts his glass to his lips, eyes elsewhere. You can feel Jungwon tense beside you, out of reflex your hand rests over his own on the table. 

“Oh come on, I wasn’t surprised. With all due respect, y/n is stunning. I knew there was no way she was single, respectfully of course.” Jake shares, his eyes travel to Jungwon’s as if showing he meant no harm, to which Jungwon chuckles. “It’s alright, I know she’s gorgeous, I got lucky, I know I’m not the first one to try and I won’t be the last but I’m the one that’s lucky enough to be with her so.” The table erupts into light laughter, all but Jay who forces his lips into a tight smile. 

“Well said.” Sooha compliments, taking a sip of her wine. Sunghoon nods, placing his arm around the back of Sooha’s chair. The conversation flows easy after that for everyone but Jay who seems to observe more than partake in the topic of discussion. His eyes find their way back to you or to Jungwon's hands on you. 

After some time you spot an associate across the room that you had been meaning to talk to, you excuse yourself and invite Jungwon along with you to introduce him. Jungwon follows behind you with no hesitation, reaching the associate and greeting her with a smile. You jump into conversation with her, asking her something about her daughter's recital but Jungwon could not look away from the bar where Jay had travelled to. Jay was shamelessly checking you out, eyes trailing down the length of your body and Jungwon hated it. 

He took a step closer to you, wrapping an arm around your waist, careful not to disturb your conversation. Jay doesn’t look away which only fuels Jungwon's annoyance. He hated this, the ugly feeling he felt during the holiday party was returning in the pit of his stomach. His jaw clenched and his fingers flexed against your dress. 

This felt almost like a challenge of sorts, like Jay was pushing Jungwon to see how far he could go, how much he could get away with. It angered Jungwon to no end, he knew he was the possessive type, the feeling of jealousy was one he was familiar with when in love. He has always been like this in past relationships but of course it was never a feeling he experienced towards you. 

This was new and uncharted territory for him. When your associate excused herself, leaving just the two of you standing there, Jungwon didn’t hesitate before leaning down to press a kiss to your shoulder, then another one to your temple. You feel your cheeks blush as the contact, “Jungwon?” 

“He hasn’t stopped looking at you, not since we walked in.” He whispered softly into your ear, to anyone else it would paint the scene of two lovers sharing a sweet moment. But his tone took you by surprise, he didn’t sound like a friend looking out for you, he truly sounded like a jealous boyfriend who was just seconds away from claiming what’s his.

“Is he looking now?” You whisper back, not daring to look up on your own. Jungwon nods, “Mhm.” 

With that you turn around in his hold to face him, “Dance with me?” You lead him into the dance floor where other couples danced slowly together. Jungwon was quick to place his hands around your waist, pulling you close so you had no choice but to wrap your arms around his neck. 

“This is new.” You tease in a whisper. Jungwon laughs, “Very. But I like it.” You nod in agreement, letting Jungwon guide you in a slow dance. “I don’t like the way he looks at you.” He confesses softly into the air between you, holding his breath after as if he had just admitted his darkest secret. 

You let his words sink in for a moment, considering all the different meanings if only influenced by a different context. If only this weren’t a facade meant to fool everyone around you. If only Jungwon wasn’t pretending to be your jealous boyfriend. If only this were real. 

“I don’t like it either, but I’m not thinking about that right now.” Your breath hitches at your own words, eyes lifting up to meet his. Jungwon studies you for a moment, eyes dropping to your lips for just a second. “What are you thinking about?” The tone of his voice is heavy with some kind of emotion you have never heard from him before, there is something heated lying just beneath the surface but before you can dive into it, the music lowers as an announcer comes up to a podium asking everyone to return to their seats for the award ceremony. 

Jungwon has to bite back a groan, offering his hand to you to guide you back to your table where your coworkers had already returned to. Sitting next to you in silence after your moment in the dancefloor was slowly killing him inside, he needed to hear what you were gonna say to him, he needed to know how you felt right now. 

All the while awards are being handed out, Jungwon can’t help but feel his entire world spin on its axis, he feels as though everything is on the brink of falling apart. 

You weren’t much better, your nerves should be targeted for your nomination, you should be thinking about what you’re going to say if you win, who will you thank. But instead you’re thinking about how Jungwon looked at you, how his jaw clenched when Jay looked at you. You can still feel his touch on your skin despite him not touching you since you sat down. 

The beating of your heart is all you can hear, your thoughts are screaming at you to pull Jungwon aside and talk to him, to settle whatever is changing between the two of you. Perhaps it’s the atmosphere, the drinks, the fake relationship you’re currently showing off to everyone in your company. All of these things could be getting to you, making you see things that aren’t there, feel things you shouldn't feel. 

Your own pulse inside your ears is so loud you almost miss them calling your name for the award. Jungwon recovers faster than you, clapping and smiling at you like the proud boyfriend he’s pretending to be. Sunghoon and Sooha along with everyone else in the room cheer for you and Jay as the two of you get up to claim your award at the podium. 

Jay offers his hand to help you up the steps in your heels, you take it hesitantly even as your eyes instantly find Jungwons, almost as if you were asking for permission. Everything about tonight is so strange, since when do you look to Jungwon for approval for anything? 

Jay takes the award and steps up to the microphone, “Thank you so much, I could not have done it without my beautiful partner here. All those long nights really paid off, it was all worth it for the success of the company and for this, thank you.” He steps back, allowing you to take his place. 

Just as you were about to speak, you feel Jay place his hand on the small of your back. The podium and your bodies hide the action from the audience but Jungwon doesn’t miss the way your eyes slightly widen and how your body tenses under the lights. 

You quickly take a step forward, “Thank you for this award, we are very grateful and honored. I want to thank our team and everyone that assisted us with this project, thank you to Jay for being a reliable business partner. And I want to thank my boyfriend, Jungwon, for keeping me sane when work was driving me up a wall and for waiting for me at home after all those long nights.” Laughter erupts in the hall, coworkers and partners alike are all amused with your speech but your eyes are only on Jungwon. 

You chose your words carefully, making it clear to everyone, but mainly Jay, that once again you were not interested in anyone other than the brunette sitting at your table next to Jake. Jungwon smiles at you though his shoulders are straight and his eyes are attentive, laced with a possessiveness that pours out of him the longer he has to watch Jay stand next to you. 

Jay attempted to guide you back to your table with his hand hovering at your back but you walk fast enough to stay just ahead of him so he wouldn’t touch you. Jungwon catches on quickly, standing from his seat to take your hand and pressing a loving kiss to your temple, your table claps at the display of affection. 

“Congratulations.” He whispers to you, smiling as he helps you take your seat again. 

“Did he touch you?” He leaned in close to whisper the question in a volume only you could hear, to others it appeared as those he was simply whispering sweet nothings to his lover, but you felt the seriousness of his tone. Your eyes met his and you gave him an almost imperceptible nod. 

Jungwon's eyes flared and his jaw clenched, you were half convinced he would stand up and punch Jay right then and there. But Jungwon wasn’t a violent person, he was possessive and stern but never violent. So he just takes a deep breath through his nose, hand resting over your own on the table. 

You leaned in, breath fanning his ear sending goosebumps down his body, “Night’s almost over.” Realistically he knew your words were meant to calm him, but he couldn’t help but feel anxious like there was still much to unfold. Deep down he knew the night was far from over. 

Surely enough, he was right. Dinner and more drinks were served throughout the ballroom. You and Jungwon had done your rounds talking to your coworkers and business partners around the room. Jungwon had made it his mission to keep you as far away from Jay as physically possible when away from the table. 

The event was coming to a close when your CEO called for everyone's attention for a closing speech. Back at your table with the others it was hard to ignore Jay's eyes on you, you could feel the way his glance travelled down the length of your exposed skin. Clearly having had one too many drinks on him he was failing to conceal his attention on you. This only fueled the man sitting next to you, his anger rising by the second. 

Surely this was past the point of a concerned friend or a pretend jealous boyfriend. Jungwon's jealousy seemed real, more real than you were willing to admit because that realization caused a completely different one to spur from the pit of your stomach. You liked it. You liked that he was jealous, liked the way his hold on you tightened whenever he felt Jay looking your way, relished in the way his jaw clenched in frustration as a way to hold back whatever he truly wanted to say in the moment. 

A thrill went up your spine as it dawned on you, you liked seeing Jungwon get possessive with you. Without realizing it, your eyes trained on his jaw, watching as it clenched and unclenched before drifting down to his tense shoulders and calculated breathing. Almost immediately you found yourself crossing your legs and squeezing your thighs together to subside the sudden ache between your thighs. You never thought jealousy could look so attractive on a person. Although it’s not just any person, it’s Jungwon, your Jungwon. As an already extremely attractive man, seeing him with his jealous eyes and tense posture just made him down right devastating. Enough to soak your panties through if you didn’t know any better. 

And apparently you didn't. 

The crowd applauded as your CEO wished everyone a good night and thanked them for coming. Sunghoon and Sooha were the first to say their goodbyes at your table. 

“Jungwon, it was good to finally meet you. We should meet up again soon, the four of us should grab dinner.” He smiled, his arm wrapped lovingly over Soohas shoulder. Jungwon smiled and nodded, hand at the small of your back. “Absolutely, we’ll plan something soon.” 

“Excluding me already, I met you first.” Jake fake pouts at Jungwon who only chuckles whilst shaking his head. “Up to you if you want to third wheel a double date.” The group laughs, promising to make plans for the future, Sunghoon and Sooha are the first to walk away with Jake following not far behind. 

You send a small nod towards Jay and you’re just about to turn to walk away when Jungwon stops you, “Hold on, wait right here.” He grins before turning back to Jay. You watch as he shakes his hand and steps closer to him, saying something that you can’t quite make out. You watch as Jay’s face drops, eyes dropping to the ground and Jungwon steps back with that same easy grin on his face. Within moments he’s back beside you.

“What was that?” He only shakes his head at you, “Don’t worry about it, he shouldn’t be bothering you anymore.” You’re not sure what he means by that but at this moment you don’t think you want to find out. 

Jungwon has his arm wrapped around you, not even bothering to look in Jays direction before turning to you. “Ready to go home?” The way he says it sends a shock right to your core, the heat that was building in between your thighs all night suddenly becoming unbearable. 

“Let’s go home.” Jungwon stares down at you as you say it, a warmth spread through his chest, he nearly has to hold back a grunt at the way you look up at him so innocently as if you have no idea what you’re doing to him. He nods in response, tightening his hold around you before leading you back to his car. 

The drive back home reminded you of the night of the Holiday party. The air around you was tense and slightly awkward but tonight there was also a hint of something else. It was hot, regardless of the AC being on, you were feeling more and more frustrated with every red light. You just needed to get home, to do what exactly? You weren’t sure, maybe a cold shower was enough to remind you that this was all fake and however you were seeing Jungwon at this moment isn’t real. 

The silence is suffocating and Jungwon could practically feel the heat radiating off your body. It was killing him to focus on the road when all he wanted to do was admire you sitting there in his car, in that stunning dress, all while trying to discreetly press your thighs together even though Jungwon had caught it the first time you did it back at the table. It took everything in him to not react, it was even more trying now with him gripping onto the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. 

You were in his car, in that dress, and turned on and it was killing him to not be able to touch you. He needed some form of a distraction, he would take anything at this point if it meant he would be able to stop thinking about your pretty thighs squeezing together for him underneath your dress. 

“I’m sorry about Jay, I guess I downplayed it more than I realized.” You spoke first. Jungwon wasn’t really wanting to think about that either, it raised another kind of emotion in him that he was still getting used to with you. A lot of things were changing tonight evidently. 

“Yeah, a lot more. I don’t like him.” Jungwon's response is short and calculated, he didn’t want to say anything too forward while his thoughts were still elsewhere. 

You laughed at that, shaking your head which brought his gaze over to you for just a moment. The stress lining the space above his eyebrows eases at the sight of your smile, he can’t help but smile softly in return. 

“Oh really? I couldn’t tell. You were staring at him all night like you wanted to kill him, if I didn’t know any better I’d say you were-” You stop yourself, realizing if you finished that sentence the light hearted conversation would go right back to the tense atmosphere you were just in. But it was too late for that, Jungwon wasn’t about to let that go unnoticed. 

“If you didn’t know any better what? Finish that.” His voice is stern now but still kind, he still used that soft tone he reserved for you but his words convinced you that he was not playing around anymore.

You look at him, studying his side profile as he makes it a point to stare straight ahead, not daring to turn away from the road for even a second. You were almost home, what were the chances you could stall until he pulled into your apartment building? 

A moment passed, you were getting closer and closer to your apartment but Jungwon didn’t push further. He didn’t ask again like he knew you would answer the first time. 

“If I didn’t know any better I would say you were actually jealous tonight.” You responded just as he pulled into your building parking garage. You hear Jungwon let out a breath, his grip tightens on the while but he doesn’t say anything until he fully parks the car, turning the engine off and granting the two of you just a moment of silence. 

“And if I was?” Your breath nearly gets caught in your throat. You weren’t fully expecting that, sure there was that tiny hopeful voice in your head that believed he might be even just slightly as affected as you have been all night but you didn’t actually believe it to be true. 

“I mean, I would have no reason to be, right? Because this is fake?” He asks aloud before you can respond to his first statement. The question sets you back, you blink at him without knowing what to say. Jungwon doesn’t give you a second to dwell on it, he opens the door and gets out of the car, already fishing into his pockets for the apartment keys and waiting for you. 

Without Jungwon in the car you allow your confusion to display on your face for just a moment before following him. Jungwon is waiting for you but clearly keeping a distance between the two of you as you begin to walk towards the elevators. Being in this enclosed space with him now was nervewracking, you didn’t know what to say to that. Technically he was right, there was no reason for him to get jealous because this was all pretend, you two weren’t actually dating. But then again, that hasn’t stopped you from swooning over him since the holiday party. 

You’re practically holding your breath the entire elevator ride, looking down at your heels. All that could be heard was that awkward elevator music and surely the pounding of your heart. Jungwon barely waits for the doors to fully open before he’s walking out the doors, he already has his keys in his hand. 

To his credit, he looks back to make sure you’re still behind him before he opens the door and steps inside, holding it for you as well. You step inside your apartment, watching as Jungwon silently locks the door before slipping out of his shoes with ease. You lean against the entryway wall to fiddle with the strap of your heels. The shakiness of your hands isn’t helping you at this moment, sighing with a huff as the strap keeps slipping from your hold. 

Jungwon, who was already in the kitchen with a cold bottle of water in hand, turns to look at you with an almost wounded expression. He watches you fight with your heel strap for another moment before silently walking over to you and kneeling before you. With the gentlest touch you’ve ever felt, Jungwon slowly lifts your foot to rest on his knee and carefully undoes the strap before switching to the other one. 

You watch in shock and awe, holding your breath as you watch him remove your heel, placing it softly on the ground but still not letting go of your ankle. You watch him, unblinking, as he turns his head back to your foot. His eyes trail the length of your leg, peeking at the bit of exposed thigh under your dress, up your hips and waist until his eyes finally meet yours. Without looking away from your eyes, Jungwon leans down to press a kiss to the inside of your ankle, rubbing the area softly before setting your foot back on the ground. 

All the air in your lungs was surely knocked out of you after that, your heart rate is now a concerning speed but you can’t bring yourself to look away from him. 

“I was jealous and possessive, in a way I probably shouldn’t have been. I’m sorry.” He whispered, still kneeling on the ground in front of you. His left hand softly caressed the side of your knee over your dress, sighing quietly. This was unexpected in a way that sent a wave of pure heat straight down to your core. You reached a hand down to run your fingers through his hair, holding onto his jaw to tilt his head up. 

“It’s ok, won, it felt real to me too.” You smiled once he leans into your touch, closing his eyes gently as if he was taking advantage of this moment, not wanting to forget it. You gently guide him back up to stand in front of you, Jungwon doesn’t dare look away from you right now. “I liked being with you like that, I liked having your arm around me and dancing with you. It was nice.” You admit into the quiet of your shared apartment. Jungwon smiles as he looks down for a moment, nodding in agreement. 

“Me too. I noticed it the first night, during the holiday party but I ignored it. I don’t want to ignore it anymore, baby.” His confession has your heart skipping a beat in the most cliche way possible. You smile up at him, “Me neither.” 

Jungwon gives himself a moment to admire your features, admire the way you’re looking at him right now with a look in your eyes he had never seen before. He smiles, taking a step closer before cupping your jaw with his hands and leaning forward to press a soft but meaningful kiss to your lips. Your lips mold together perfectly like they were always meant to tangle together as they are now. 

In nearly three years of living with Jungwon, you’d be lying if you said you never considered what it would be like to kiss him. You thought about it many times actually, more times than you would ever admit out loud. But none of those daydreams or fantasies could ever compare to the real thing. You were starting to understand that Jungwon was a very possessive person in every aspect of his life, including when it came to kissing you. His kiss wasn’t just loving or passionate, it was claiming. His hands had travelled to round your waist, one hand sliding up your back which sends goosebumps down your spine. 

He tilted his head to kiss you deeper, his tongue slipping past your soft lips to claim the inside of your mouth. You had never been kissed like this, it was breathtaking and earth shattering. It was that type of kiss you thought only existed in the movies or those romantic books you read and tell everyone they’re just fantasy. 

After a couple more breathless moments the two of you slowly pull away to take a breath, Jungwon studies your reaction, admiring the blush on your cheeks and the eyes your eyes seem like they’re struggling to focus. 

“That was-” 

“Yeah.” 

The two of you smile before chuckling together, Jungwon takes a step back, looking you up and down before speaking again. “Just so we’re clear, this means something to me, I want to take you out on an official date and I want to try this with you…but I also want to take you back to my room right now and take care of you.” 

You smile at his words and let out a breathless sigh before nodding, “I want that too.” He smiles at you with that warm smile that never fails to make you swoon. “Good.” He nods once before he’s pulling you in again by the waist, crashing his lips to your this time with more urgency than before. He starts walking you backwards without pulling his lips from yours, guiding you back towards his bedroom without ever breaking the kiss. 

One clumsy turn has him backing into a wall, groaning softly against your mouth. You gasp and then stifle your giggle with your hand, pulling away to make sure he was okay. He shakes his head, masking his embarrassment by muttering a quick, “Fuck it” under his breath and scoopping you into his arms. He picks you up bridal style, walking quickly over to his room and kicking the door closed behind him as he sets you back down on the floor.

He turns you around swiftly, having you face the wall with your hands coming up to brace yourself at the feeling of his touch wandering the length or your back and waist. 

“You look so beautiful, baby. Tell me I can take this off of you..” He whispers against your skin, leaving kisses down the back of your shoulder. His fingers toy with the zipper of your dress, the same one he helped close earlier in the night. 

“Please.” You whimper, pressing your forehead against the wall to try to calm your breathing. Your teeth dig into your bottom lip with a sigh once you feel Jungwon's fingers pull the zipper down at a tortuously slow pace. Jungwon has to hold his breath the more skin he reveals with his actions, he tries not to groan at the sight of your matching bra and underwear set, a striking color against your skin that has him drooling before he can even really get his hands on you. He carefully pushes the straps of the dress off your shoulders until the material drops and pools at your feet. 

He curses under his breath at the sight of your nearly naked body, his left hand comes down to slide past your waist onto your ass, groaning at the feeling of your soft skin. The curve of your ass attracts him to no end but before he could drop to his knees to worship you how he knows you deserve, you turn around to face him. Instantly his eyes come up to your cleavage before dropping down to the front of your panties, biting back a groan. 

“Fuck, baby. You’re stunning.” He compliments, eyes trailing back up to meet yours with no rush at all. You smile, pushing down a blush that you know is already painting your cheeks. Without saying another word, Jungwon watches in awe as you sink to your knees before him. Hands sitting pretty across your lap as you look up at him with those beautiful eyes of yours. Jungwon holds back another curse at the sight of you on your knees. 

“Is this ok, wonie?” The question is followed with your touch sliding up his thighs, playing with the clasp of his belt. Jungwon nods, already unbuttoning the top of his shirt and pulling his sleeves up to his elbows. You smile at the sight before bringing your hand down to squeeze at his covered bulge. Jungwon clenches his jaw at that, biting back another groan. 

“Don’t tease, baby.” You smile at that but ultimately do as you're told. Within seconds you’re pulling his pants and underwear down to reveal his entire length. The corners of your lips curve upwards when you hear him suck in a breath through his teeth once your fingers wrap around the base of him. 

With your eyes looking up at him you spit seductively onto his length, using your hand to stroke him until your spit has coated him entirely. “Haah” He sighs, he’s holding his shirt up with one hand, the other was clenched into a fist by his side. The second you actually wrap your pretty lips around the tip of his already leaking cock Jungwon actually tilts forward, having to hold his hand out against the wall behind you to keep himself upright. 

The feeling of your warm mouth taking him so prettily was enough to have his knees nearly buckling on their own accord. He would almost feel embarrassed if he wasn’t so incredibly turned on right now. Your mouth works quickly on him, you suck in your cheeks and slide your tongue along the underside of his cock. Your hand strokes what can’t fit in your mouth in time with your movements. A sense of pride washes over you and you look up and visibly see Jungwon struggling to keep it together. 

“Fuck, your mouth is so warm-s’tight. Shit, just like that, baby.” He grunts through clenched teeth. His hand drops to hold your hair out of the way, holding it in a makeshift ponytail. You suck his length harder and faster, ignoring the ache in your jaw once you feel Jungwon's grip tighten on your hair. He was getting close and you needed his release like you needed air. You pushed yourself even farther down his length, taking him as deep as you could before your throat constrict around him. You gag around him once but Jungwon only curses at the sound, feeling himself growing closer to his release. 

“Shit, right there baby, I’m so close.” He curses under his breath, trying to silence his grunts but the attempt is laughable. He’s so loud and whiny you can feel yourself growing wetter just from the sound. His sounds only get louder, at this point you’re clenching around nothing to just feel some kind of release. You have never seen someone look or sound so attractive in a state like this, all you can think about is how badly you want to do this again and again. 

His hand on your hair grips you tightly, forcing you deeper as he releases right down your throat, cursing out loud with your name on his lips. You swallow his release instantly, humming at the taste with his dick still inside you. You give him another moment to catch his breath before pulling back with a pop. Your hand caresses his thigh softly, allowing him a moment to come back down from his high. 

He blinks down at you, breathing hard. His hands help you up, instantly crashing his lips against yours. He could still taste himself on your lips and it only makes him groan. The ache between your thighs was becoming unbearable and you were positive you have never been this turned on in your life. 

“Get on the bed, baby.” He whispered against your lips, pressing one more swift kiss there before stepping back. His eyes never leave your body as you walk toward the bed, leaning your body over before laying down to give him the best view of your ass. Jungwon lets out another groan, already feeling himself growing hard again. His hands work fast to remove his clothing before meeting you at the foot of the bed. 

A gasp slips past your lips unintentionally with Jungwon pulling you by your ankles to the edge of the bed, he smirks. For the second time tonight, you watch in awe as Jungwon gracefully kneels to the ground, only this time it’s between your open thighs. He pushes your legs open softly and has to visibly hold back a groan upon seeing a wet patch right at the center of your underwear. 

He leans forward, pressing a soft kiss right at the inside of your thigh, trailing his lips closer and closer to where you need him most. A soft hum sounds from your throat, your eyes falling closed at the feeling. You can help but lift yourself on your elbows to watch him pull your underwear down, you didn’t want to miss a second of this. 

“Fuck, you’re just pretty everywhere, aren’t you, doll?” He compliments with his eyes never leaving your now bare pussy. He practically drools over the sight of your soaked folds, automatically leaning forward to press another kiss on the skin right above your cunt. 

You watch him lean back again only to spit slowly onto your folds just to watch it slide down your center. Your body jolts at the feeling to which Jungwon grins, he was going to enjoy the hell out of himself by teasing you like this. 

“Jungwon-” You’re about to start begging but he silences you with his index fingers coming up to slide through your folds, collecting your arousal and swirling it all the way up to your clit. A silent gasp shoots through you. He uses his thumb now to circle your clit once, twice, studying the way your body reacts to being played with like this. 

“You’re so wet, dripping all over my hand and I haven’t even started yet.” You’re not sure if he’s even talking to you anymore, his eyes are focused on your pussy, mesmerized with every twitch and pulse of your walls. His fingers circle your entrance, teasing your leaking hole with a delicious pace before finally sinking both inside you in one go. 

The moan that escapes you has Jungwon's dick twitching at attention, he watches his fingers pump inside you, pulling more of your juices out with each stroke. “Wonie..” Your moans and whines are fucking music to the brunettes ears, he decides right here and now that is his new favorite sound. His eyes travel upwards to watch your face, the picture of pure bliss and pleasure displayed all over your features. Without hesitating, Jungwon leans down to drag his tongue up the length of your folds, fingers still pulsing inside you. His tongue comes up to your clit, sucking it into his mouth and swirling his tongue until your legs try to close around his head. 

“Jungwon! Wait-” You’re cut off by another moan that pushes through you. His speed picks up and his tongue moves harsher to match his pace. He shakes his head against your wet folds, “Tastes s’good, tastes like mine.” He groans, his voice sending another level of vibrations up your core. Your hands find their way to his hair to pull at and run through as you feel yourself growing closer to that pinnacle release. Another moan in the shape of his name slips past your lips in a breathless haze. 

Then he curls his fingers in a certain way that nudges that little spongy part inside of you so perfectly it has you seeing stars, that along with the way his tongue never moves away from your clit has your thighs tightening around his head and fingers pulling his hair to keep him exactly where he is. If that wasn’t evidence enough of your upcoming orgasm, the way you arched your back completely off the bed and the loud moan that shot through you was enough to have Jungwon press forward until he felt your walls squeeze his fingers. Your orgasm doesn’t just wash over you like you’re used to, this one shoots through you with the power of at least three orgasms in one. 

You cry out his name, twitching in his hold despite him pulling away softly to allow you a moment to catch your breath just as you did for him before. He admires the way your body reacts to his touch now, your cunt is damn near pulsing, crying for more. His hand caresses your thigh before crawling upwards to hover above you. 

“You’re so beautiful when you come, will you show me again?” He whispers against your lips, pressing a soft kiss there once and then twice. You nod, eyes struggling to fully stay open thanks to the earth shattering orgasm from before. “Please..please fuck me, wonie.” He groans at that, dropping his face into your neck and kissing your skin. 

“Fuck, you don’t even know what you’re doing to me.” 

You can only watch with anticipation as Jungwon slides his hardened dick through your slick folds, the tip catches onto your overstimulated clit making your gasp aloud. “So responsive for me.” He smiles then slides his tip back down to your entrance, teasingly slipping just the tip inside of you until you moan for him and then pulling back out. 

“Jungwon, please,” he does it again, sliding his tip in only to pull out and repeat it a couple more times until you’re practically crying, “you’re being so mean.” Your pout is what catches his attention, he grins at you before kissing your pouty lips. 

“Mean? That’s not mean baby, this is mean.” He slams his entire length into you in one go, a loud moan bordering on scream rips through your throat as your entire body jolts upwards on the bed at the sudden intrusion. The pain is quick to subside to pleasure as Jungwon mercilessly pounds into you right from the start. He doesn’t give you any time to adjust, instead opting for fucking into you fast and rough. His hands drag your legs over his shoulders, nearly folding you in half in order to thrust deeper into you. 

He was pounding you into the mattress so good you were already struggling to keep your eyes open. Jungwon admired the way your back arched and your head tilted back. He was absolutely captivated with your body, loving the way your hands alternated from holding onto the bedsheets and his own arms. 

Your walls molded around his cock, making you his perfect little cock sleeve much to Jungwon's pleasure. “So tight around me, you’re soaked through, baby. Shit, so wet, so warm, your pretty pussy's gonna make me come.” 

You can already feel your second orgasm of the night approaching, your walls tighten around him and you can barely give him a warning before you feel yourself falling apart. “That’s it, baby. So sexy coming around my dick like that.” He fucks into you as you come, never stoppping his movements. He lowers your legs from his shoulder, wrapping them around his waist instead in order to get closer to you. 

Now chest to chest, Jungwons trusts slow down as he kisses you lovingly, a stark contrast to the way he was just fucking you. 

“So good for me, you’ll give me another one right?” He’s asking but he doesn’t wait for an answer. Before you could protest with cries of overstimulation, Jungwon is already turning you onto your stomach, forcing you onto your knees with one hand pressing your head against the pillows. 

“You can take it, fuck.” His movements pick up again, slamming into you from behind. His eyes are trained on the way your ass jiggles with every thrust, his left hand comes down to grope and squeeze your ass and hips and his other still holds your head down. 

“Fuck, all mine. You’re all mine, no other motherfucker will ever have you like this again.” His thrusts are punishing now, almost like he was taking his anger out on you and you were starting to realize exactly why. 

“The asshole thinks he can touch you, you were mine before he even met you, I’ll make sure he remembers that, yeah?” The jealousy was pouring out of him with every word and thrust of his hips. You were moaning and crying into the pillows, your body already twitching with overstimulation and exhaustion. You would’ve never expected Jungwon to fuck you within an inch of your life, even worse you never expected it to feel so good. 

“I'm so close- need you to come with me. Fuck I need to feel you baby, please.” His groans have turned into whines now, thrusts growing sloppier but his hand comes around to rub at your clit in time with his movements. A sharp cry rips from your lips just as your third orgasm crashes through your body. Jungwon feels your walls constrict around him and suddenly he watches as your juices squirt out of you soaking his entire lower body and his bed below him. The sight alone is enough to bring Jungwon over the edge too, he grips the base of his cock once just before spilling all over your ass and lower back. 

Your body collapses onto the bed, legs feeling weak and shaking. Your brain was still catching up with your body, not even realizing you squirted for the first time until Jungwon flips you again over onto your back. 

“You’re such a pretty squirter, baby.” His tongue is already sticking out past his lips, eyes focused on your soaking pussy.

“Think you can do that again on my tongue?” 

RUIN THE FRIENDSHIP┆𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗢𝗨𝗦 ─ 𝗡𝗘𝗫𝗧

FROM YAN 🐰 ➤ if someone u dgaf about ranting or yapping in ur ear js send them that "i aint reading all that" picture. 11/10 works well + bonus rage bait. also i love jo, he's unfortunately just collateral damage for the rest of the minions. 🤣

PERMANENT TAGLIST  ➤  @mariegibeau @kristynaaah @ikeukiss @zerocoded @alex-is-sleeping @ntxs1 @angelhyuka @tsukheeshima @clxssy1997 @cripplinghooman @xoxo-seraphine @jakeycakeys @neozon3nha @jakeycakeys @vmpiricou @ja4hyvn @luv4dani

RUIN THE FRIENDSHIP┆𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗩𝗜𝗢𝗨𝗦 ─ 𝗡𝗘𝗫𝗧

FROM YAN 🐰 ➤ for a bit more context, the mission: wony/n gc has been made the morning after jungwon wake up drunk so right around chapter O8 because riki finally FINALLY got jungwon's confession 😂 i cba to add it in slides because there's so much story to fit and i want to keep the chapters as low as possible LOL

PERMANENT TAGLIST  ➤  @mariegibeau @kristynaaah @ikeukiss @zerocoded @alex-is-sleeping @ntxs1 @angelhyuka @tsukheeshima @clxssy1997 @cripplinghooman @xoxo-seraphine @jakeycakeys @neozon3nha @jakeycakeys @vmpiricou @ja4hyvn @luv4dani @nightcat101 @wonkiipiilled

“So what about Elvis? We’re going to our first real college party, we should be listening to Rihanna or Missy Elliot!” Chaewon thumped her compact on the bed, smacking her glossed lips together.

“ Wait! Are you saying that a musical soundtrack isn’t college party appropriate?" My life’s a lie.” Pretending to be offended, y/n turned around in her chair to meet Chaewon's eyes.

Chaewon didn’t say anything back, just rolled her eyes and continued to get ready, until y/n started singing along, standing up to walk over to where Chaewon was sitting, practically serenading her to the song of Bye Bye Birdie.

“I’ll miss the way you smile, as though it’s just for me, and each and every night-" y/n sang, wrapping her arms around Chaewon, who tried to get out of her grip but failed miserably.

“Stop it, my mascara is still wet!”

“I’ll write you faithfully.” Still singing, she unwraps her arm from Chaewon, holding it up to her face, pretending it's a microphone, egging her to sing along.

“Bye-bye, Birdie. It’s awfully hard to bear.” Chaewon said monotony, giving in. The two girls then spent the next 15 minutes singing around the tiny dorm, forgetting they still had to find something to wear for the night.

After pulling out half of her wardrobe, y/n landed on a pair of jeans and an old band t-shirt she’s had for god knows how long.

“Whoa, you still have that?” Chaewon pointed at her shirt, y/n just gave a quick nod at the question.

“You’ve literally had that since you were 11!” Chaewon said, giggling. “I’m shocked it doesn’t have that many holes in it.”

“Hey, I was 13! But also, what do you want me to do, NOT wear my clothes?” A perfect counterpoint to Chaewon's accusation, y/n thought.

“I have 13 reasons why you shouldn’t wear that,” Chaewon said, unfazed.

“Did you not just see me barrelling through all my clothes trying to find anything, literally?” y/n said, annoyed. It’s not like it’s a fashion show. Not a single soul at that party is going to care about what she wears, she’ll be shocked if anyone even looks at her.

Y/n isn’t a wallflower. She wasn’t the life of the party either, but you best believe she’ll win a game of beer pong, she is the reigning champion. y/n just keeps to herself or keeps to her friends because that’s how she likes it.

“Here, wear this,” Chaewon said, throwing something white at y/n, unraveling it to reveal that it’s a white tank top with lace detailing. She raises an eyebrow at Chaewon.

“White? really? Fine, don’t get mad at me when it gets stained,” y/n said, succumbing to the force that is Chaewon.

“Look, I'm just saying the second one didn’t need to be made,” y/n said, kicking a stray pebble into the grass.

Chaewon was gonna give a rebuttal to whatever y/n was talking about until a shadowy figure jumped in front of them, causing Chaewon to grab hold of y/n in fear.

“Jesus Christ, it’s just me!” Hearing her heartbeat pounding in her head, y/n barely heard the familiar voice.

“Oh my god, Sunoo, Chaewon could have taken me down,” y/n retorts back to a laughing Sunoo, helping Chaewon regain her footing on the sidewalk.

“I’m gonna kill you,” Chaewon said, staring at Sunoo with a smug look. Turning away from the girls to walk up to a house.

“Your threats don’t scare me anymore, woman.” This is a recurring scenario between the trio. What's new is that Chaewon starts running at Sunoo, without realizing that she is still holding onto her hand. y/n goes stumbling forward up a set of stairs, and the three of them bump into the door before Sunoo has a chance to escape to freedom by opening the door. They fall into a fit of laughter that’s quickly interrupted by the door opening, looking up to see who greeted them. y/n felt like someone threw a bucket of cold water on her.

“Oh, sorry didn’t realize anyone was here.” Yang Jungwon was startled

“sosorrywerefineeverythingsokay!” Sunoo says as the three of them push past Jungwon into the house.

“Hey, let’s go get something to drink, a strong drink, yeah!” y/n said, following the bodies of people with red solo cups.

“That was Jungwon, right? " Like the Jungwon who said you have an ‘unconventional face’?” Chaewon said, using air quotes

“Don’t forget unusual!” y/n said, yelling behind her while she found a bottle of vodka, taking a quick swig of it before looking around for a chaser. Choking on the smoke of someone’s vape, Y/n decided that she wouldn’t let the memory of a boy ruin her night.

“WAIT, he said what to you? When?” Sunoo said as he chased y/n and Chaewon into the kitchen, then into the back door patio. Y/n just huffed in response, hoping that would satisfy him, until she was interrupted by Chaewon,

“It was the first year of high school, and y/n and I were in our social studies class when someone passed me a note to give to her,” Chaewon said, gesturing to Y/n as she sat down on a lawn chair.

“And it said, ‘Meet me in front of the math hallway after class.’ Creepy, we thought, so obviously we went,” Chaewon said using air quotes.

“It was Jungwon, obviously. He then proceeded to tell me that I have ‘such an unconventional face,’ which I guess isn’t the worst thing, but he was stone-faced when he said ‘no! I mean, unusual!" y/n said, annoyed at the memory.

“He shouted that last part and then ran away.” Looking up at the night sky, y/n wished she could play ‘I Don’t Want to Know ’ by Fleetwood Mac right now. until she's interrupted by the weight of a pair of arms wrapping around her.

“I’ll shave him bald if you want, I know where he sleeps!” Sunoo said, putting his head on her shoulder.

“Hey, what about me!” Chaewon said, standing up to run over to the duo, engulfing them in a hug.

author's note: writing the last part reminded me of how one time in grade 9, just before Christmas break, I told my crush that I liked him, and that man (or boy?) dared to look over at his friend, laugh, and say "oh another one!" I blasted Stupid for You " by Waterparks while walked home, it was so humiliating lol. But the year before that, my friend dared me to tell a random guy in our class that I liked him (it was a yearly tradition, it's so embarrassing), and he was really sweet about it, then he moved schools! So that's enough sharing for me !!!!

© nephynes 2026

all works are pieces of original fiction, do not repost, translate, or adapt without explicit permission.