_not_ e n o u g h

Penny had gone out for a walk after a good evening in with her partners. It was slightly snowing, snowflakes fluttering past her eyelashes, hitting the unnecessary sleeve of her black jacket as it was crossed over her chest. She made it into Terrance’s and sat down on a stool, happy to see Ricki Stafford tending the bar. She slumped down in a fairly empty tavern, for it was the middle of the week. Still, she was surprised at the lackluster of the company partaking in drinks, because the weather was still frightful and below freezing outside. As the redhead poured Penny’s drink, the vampire’s eyes raked over her posture, taking in the scent of her pure-as-silk blood. “A date, huh?” she pondered, smiling as she brought the cup to her lips. She took a baby sip before placing the glass down to the counter with a soft clink. She licked her lips to rid them of the red tint of blood and looked up at her… could she say friend? “Tell me every juicy detail. Got a pic of this guy?” she asked eagerly, leaning forward on her elbows.

Ricki gave Penny an appreciative smile, glad for the normalcy of the conversation. It almost made her feel like this wasn’t her very first experience like this. She’d had hookups, but dates? Never. That was too normal, too human an experience for her. “I don’t. Trust me it was awkward enough without making him pose for a picture. But he is one of the TriBeCa guys.” She sat on a stool behind the bar and sighed softly. “I don’t know; he was nice. It was fine. It was just awkward. We didn’t know what we were doing so we both just made really painful small talk and drank a lot. A lot.”

Jack thought alcohol would have help him loosen up, but he was still incredibly nervous. He didn’t know what he was so bad at this, considering how he never had a problem getting a date long before. He nodded his head , feeling like he had said too much earlier about surviving a plane crash. “Yeah I don’t even know how it had happened, I was barely breathing when they found me, but they claimed I had died and that was how I got separated from them” He rambled, mentally kicking himself for bringing up even more. The reveal caused him to finish his first drink quickly as it came. This was not the right first date kind of talk. “ No and if they had, I don’t think they’re  people I’ve ever met” He explained. “ Yeah, I mean it was Milo’s baby first and Forest and I just sort of joined up recently. “

Ricki watched him as he spoke, nodding gravely. She definitely understood the need to finish the first drink so fast. “Wow. That’s...  I can’t imagine.” She wasn’t sure what else to say so she finished her own first drink instead. Emotions and vulnerability with other adults weren’t her strongest suit. “I have to say I agree with that.” She had only met people with checkered pasts one way or another, they were the only people her father had really allowed in her life. “Ah. Well, it’s a nice place. I couldn’t believe it when I saw Forest there.”

Ricki looked up at the familiar woman sitting at the bar and quickly moved to pour her regular, sliding it across the counter to her. “Evening Penny, how are you doing tonight?” She sipped at her own cup of water and then set it down again behind the counter. 

She hesitated before offering, “So I went on a date. I was set up by an old friend from when I was a kid and uh... Yeah.”

Date: January 1, 2021 Location: Winter Festival

It was late into the night by the time Bex had noticed just what was happening. The shapeshifter  had almost been in a bubble when it came to what was happening in town. That came crashing down however, when the mother of one of the kids she watched had ran up to her asking for her help finding their child who got separated in the panic. There was no way Bex would ever say no to something so serious and began her search, desperately trying to avoid any phantom figures that seemed familiar to her. It wasn’t hard to mess with the daughter of a gang leader who had gotten rid of a lot of people as part of his line of work. You just had to be a spirit and sadly there were so many in the area trying to gt a rise out of Bex. However, she tried to put it all aside as she looked for the child who had wandered off out of fear. “This is insane. Get away from me m.“ Bex muttered pulling away from another not so friendly face and trying to keep focused as she continued he search. “ Hey did you see a little girl wander this way?” 

She’d been taught at a young age to kill, and it had usually been supernatural groups that she had been infiltrating, so she was certainly seeing the faces of them now. Granted thanks to the training from her father and Forest, she knew how to compartmentalize. So now Ricki looked after the voice in the chaos, her eyes focusing on the girl she had helped with the drunk outside of CHURCH. “Hey, you’re looking for a little girl?” She moved forward quickly, her teacher brain coming to take hold along with the operative brain. It wasn’t common for both sides to activate at once but this was different. “Let me help you find her. How old and what’s her name? I might even teach her.”

Jack went very quiet at the thought of others talking about what he’d been through. He trusted Forest and knew he wasn’t going to just tell random people about the pain he had been through. I was still weird to hear someone say back to him what he’d experienced. “ It’s getting there. It’s been a long time so it’s still a process. “ He admitted, knowing thing’s weren’t perfect but they were far better than his life had been years ago. “ Yeah a plane crash” He admitted again. He didn’t know why he admitted to what had happened but maybe it was just his nerves making him blab. “ I mean everyone has their thing. I doubt anyone has had it easy” He explained trying to not say too much about himself and feeling nervous again. Jack had once had a way with girls when he was younger. He was also a dumb teenager with nothing to lose who hadn’t fallen in love yet. Now he was  far cry from that person and he realized it the more the awkward silence passed between them. “Must be hard to get to know people in that business”  He nodded knowing that there was no way it was easy. “ No it’s fine. I can use one too. I’m way too nervous without one or three to be honest”

Ricki blinked back at him in surprise. Forest had never offered details and she had never asked. It was simply not her business as far as she was concerned. But once he started telling her, she did start wondering, even though she wasn’t one to charge into someone else’s story. “Shit, that’s... Plane crashes are rough, I’m sorry. It’s a miracle you all made it.” Even if they were separated. They weren’t now, right? That had to mean something. “You’re probably right,” she said finally. “Don't know if I’ve ever met anyone who had it all so black and white.” Part of her thought that she was one of the many who had it hard, but did she? What was her pain exactly? Parental issues? There was probably a club for that. She let out a relieved breath, glad to not be the only one in need of liquid courage. “So, uh, you work at Tribeca?” She almost cringed at the words because they had pretty much already covered this. As soon as the waitress came, she ordered herself two drinks quickly, knowing she could use it.

Jack’s nerves seemed to shift slightly once his sons were brought up. It was a good enough distraction for him to not be so nervous that he was on a date, but he still needed a million drinks right now. “ Yeah. It was by pure accident. I hadn’t been able to find them and as soon as I moved here, my older son found me immediately. It’s been complicated, but thing’s are getting better” He explained not going to much into the story. “ What did Forest say?” He asked unsure if he should explain further. “ I understand. I don’t either. It’s mostly me talking to Milo and Forest all the time and that’s about it with interaction”

Ricki nodded slowly, fingers rubbing at her knee under the table uncertainly. She really needed a drink. “That’s great that things are getting better. I’m glad to hear it.” She shifted in her seat thinking about the moment she had found Forest by simple coincidence. “Not much. He said you were separated from an accident,” she said quietly, giving him a soft and almost apologetic smile. “That you almost died, but you ran into each other when you got to town. I cannot imagine what that must have been like.” Even not knowing the details, it seemed terrible. after all, her own father had spent his life searching for his daughter (she thought that part with some bitterness). The pain must be unbearable to not know where your children were. “Yeah, mine’s always been business mostly, I guess.” She nodded and then sighed. “I’m sorry, I’m bad at this and I really need a drink. Want one?” she asked, flagging the waitress down.

How did Jack get to this point in his life? This was not the socially awkward person he thought he would have wound up being when he thought back to his younger years. There was a confidence he once had that seemed to have disappeared over the years as he coped with what had happened, and he realized he needed to get it back……maybe not this second, but eventually. One thing at a time and he just needed to not completely blow this night “It’s nice to meet you” He gave her a half smile as he shook her hand. as dating supposed to come off this formal? He didn’t really date since high school and his moves back then did not translate to being in his forties.

“ I completely understand, I’m kind of rusty at this whole thing. It’s been a while for me. “ He admitted, though realized maybe he shouldn’t have said it. He also wasn’t sure what to say in response to being asked how he met Forest. Would the real answer be too weird? He questioned it going quiet a moment as they walked to their table in the restaurant. “ I’ve known him a while. I was going through a shitty period and we sort of bumped into each other as a result and he’s helped me a lot over the years to get out of it“ He admitted. It was the truth but he did leave out the part where he lost his family, survived a plane crash, killed a man in a bar, got triggered and was found by Forest and dealt with years of anxiety and depression. That was probably a turn off and he was already doing a bad job tonight. He needed another drink to stop stressing things. 

Ricki sat in her chair and glanced at him curiously. It was a vague answer, but hers would be as well. She figured that was pretty normal for people like them, the supernatural who had pasts that were all kinds of shady in most cases. How the hell were you supposed to do a first date with two people hiding so much?

“Forest said you found your boys here,” she said awkwardly, not knowing what else she was supposed to say. “That must have been... great.” she grimaced, hearing how weak everything she was saying was. “I’m sorry, I really don’t do this often.”

Date: Friday, November 13th, 2020 Time: 8:14 am Location: By the Quinault River

The cold water of the river felt like being welcomed home. Josephine dived deep, letting the current carry her as she swam. She was an early riser and since her arrival to Lethe she had made a habit of going for a swim at the Quinault, enjoying the water for at least an hour or so. The selkie emerged from the water, suddenly becoming aware of a presence by the shore of the river.

Ricki didn’t sleep much; she never had, but she’d woke up feeling sick at her stomach this morning and had finally given up all hope of more rest. She saw a girl in the water of the river as she walked and paused in curiosity. She didn’t have a great view but guessed selkie (who else would be swimming in November?). “Glad to see you’re not freezing to death in there,” she said with a light smile.

“Oh okay,” he nodded, looking back at the building and the walls that were half-erected. Pretty soon he could start decorating. “There was an accident, some casualties, one death. It was pretty bad. About a month ago, the parade. You didn’t hear about it?”

Ricki let out a low breath. “Damn, I’m sorry to hear that. I... I had no idea, I just got to town with my-” Father? Handler? All this time and there was still no good way to introduce Sidney. “If you ever need a hand, you should let me know. I’ve been doing heavy lifting and shit my whole life. I wouldn’t mind.”

Location: CHURCH Time: 11/6/2020 

“Hey man, I’m sorry. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here” Bex replied coming out from behind the bar. It was time to help close up, but there were always a few stragglers who would be nearly hanging off the bar. She was still new in town, but Bex liked to keep busy. Between her multiple jobs, school and her roommate, Bex had a busy life, but at least it was her life. She went over to help the guy up who she realized had fallen asleep. She was small but strong, but that didn’t mean she could carry essentially dead weight when she was this tired. “ Hey can you give me a hand here? I’m gonna call this dude a ride so he at least makes it somewhere else”She replied glancing over to someone walking by 

Ricki paused and turned to see a much smaller girl under the weight of an unconscious guy. Grimacing in sympathy, Ricki nodded and moved over to her side, taking the guy’s opposite arm. “Yeah, sure thing. You gonna call him an Uber or?” she really wasn’t sure how to go about something like this. She didn’t usually help passed out drunks, figuring it was their problem.

He got off work and was on his way home when a shadow loomed ahead of him and suddenly blocked his view. And then inviting arms lifted to embrace him and he couldn’t help but to use his left hand to pat the young woman’s back. “Oh… My Ricki?” he asked, taking a step backwards. He saw it now, the familiarities between this woman and the girl he once taught. He had been a killing machine, even if that wasn’t his goal in life. It was then his job to pass on his skills to another’s twelve-or-so year old daughter, Ricki. That felt like a lifetime ago. And by the looks of it, it was, because she was a woman grown. “Come here,” he said, pulling her back in for another hug so he could smell her and memorize the feel of her, this new her. When he had had his fill, he stepped backwards and smiled. “What are you doing in Lethe?!”

Ricki laughed happily and hugged him again, hardly daring to believe it. “Oh my god, Forest! I didn't think I'd see you again!” But, oh, she was glad that she did. She grinned at him and shook her head, tucking some hair behind her ear as she bounced on her toes and hugged him again. “Same thing I’m ever doing. Looking for my sorta-sister, all-replacement!” It didn’t cut like it used to when she was young. Now it was simply a fact, and even taking Sidney out of it, she still wanted to find her just so she could have her own life. “What about you though? What brought you here? This- Holy shit, we should go somewhere and talk. There’s way too much to do standing in the street.”

This was a terrible idea. Jack knew from the minute this plan was uttered, he knew it was a terrible idea. He hadn’t agreed on a date in a long time and he knew he was rusty at talking to anyone that wasn’t his best friends. He was still trying to figure out how to be a dad again. Was it really a good idea to go out with someone again? He didn’t even know what to wear. He was typically pretty casual, but this wasn’t much of a casual situation. He wasn’t gonna half ass it cause he was going out with someone else from Forest’s life. He settled on dark jeans and a button up with boots he constantly wore, but they were in good condition. He needed to feel somewhat comfortable in an uncomfortable situation

He admittedly had a drink before he left Peter and Damien’s. He was scared. Dating was not his thing anymore, but he let out a soft smile when he noticed the red head say his name. She was rather pretty in a natural sort of way, where it seemed like it was just part of her. That didn’t calm his nerves though. “ Yeah that would be me. Ricki right?” He asked unsure what to do. Did he shake her hand? Did he hug her? Dd he kiss her on the cheek? “ You didn’t have to wait outside, but thank you. I probably would have not been able to find you in there”

Ricki nodded and hesitated very briefly, briefly enough that she just had to hope he didn’t see it and held out her hand to him. “Yeah, that’s me.” She let out a low breath and found herself wondering again what the fuck she was doing here. She didn’t know how to date. She barely even knew how to talk to adults without trying to weasel information out of them.

“No problem, honestly I’m not used to this so...” She pressed her lips together before shrugging a little and starting for the door and going inside. “So... How’d you meet Forest?” Instantly, she felt a pang of anxiety because if that got bounced back to her what was she supposed to say? ‘Assassin training’? Hardly.

It was over a month after the parade and people were still doing construction on the auto shop. It was looking good, but even after a month there was still a lot to get done. He shuffled around the place, looking for the umpteenth time for something to scavenge from the wreckage. But most of the floors had been redone and he sighed at the no dice. He turned at the sound of gravel crunching underfoot and saw someone approaching the shop. “We’re still closed, if the wreckage isn’t obvious enough. No roof, see? But honestly, I’m still doing work under the table. Can I help you with anything?”

Ricki slowly walked up to what used to be a building, mostly out of curiosity. “Shit, man. No, sorry, I don’t have anything like that I just, uh... I was curious about what exactly happened here?” The place looked like it had been burned down, but she couldn’t help but wonder what exactly had caused such destruction. Was it an accident? Electrical? Arsen? 

date: november 2020 time: 4:00pm location: grand opening of a learning centre for lethe students

Despite her trials and tribulations, Emira was able to heal and bounce back from the low point in her life. She went ahead and continued business as usual, upholding her identities on the whole. The whole ‘this too shall pass’ was in her favour as she acted as if nothing happened. Should Zanna, Fayre or some irrelevant being who dares to cross her comes her way, she has no issues facing them head on. The more, the merrier. Currently at a grand opening for one of her Gensler sites, it was a learning centre she built for the students of Lethe. It was a success and seeing many file in to check out the newly built establishment was certainly rewarding for the architect herself. Taking a long sip of her blood wine, she toasted the nearest person next to her while greeting them with a smile. “It’s nice isn’t it?” Her gaze averted to the students checking out the place. “They are the future after all, right? They certainly need all the resources they could get in order to succeed. I’ll say, they are quite fortunate than some.” 

Ricki smiled back at the girl and tilted her own glass of wine before taking a small drink. “Yeah, it is. This is a really great idea.” She herself knew better than most how much kids were capable of. Murder, if they were forced. “I teach first grade and you’re absolutely right. Children are so important.” Something she figured her ‘father’ ought to learn. Maybe that was why she was drawn to the idea of teaching, maybe it was because she wanted to make a difference and do the opposite of what had been done to her. 

This felt like a bad idea, going on a date with a stranger. Going on a date at all felt strange. She had never even dated before. All she’d ever had was sex, at most someone she'd fooled around with a few times. But it was Forest and he had seemed so excited about the idea that she could hardly say no. Her “date” outfit was hardly fancy, just a black dress, leather jacket, boots with a slight. It was nothing fancy but it was all she had. 

She hated to admit it, but she was nervous. Slowly, she looked over as someone came closer, sucking in a slow breath before venturing, “Jack Danvers?”

She wasn’t sure what kind of record she needed, but she definitely needed a new one. Something to fill the quiet of the apartment. It was nice, having her own place, with just her and her cat, without her “father”. The space was hers, to do with as she pleased, to be as loud as she pleased or have people over if she wanted to. 

Ricki paused a few feet from the front door of the store, grinning as she recognized the shape coming out of it. “Forest!” Usually, she was much more withdrawn, but not with Forest Hawthorne. He was the closest thing to loving family she had ever had, even if she had only had him for two years. Quickly, she closed the space and threw her arms around his neck. It was only then that she realized she’d changed a lot since he had last seen her. “Hi, uh, it’s Ricki!”