i am not in control of my impulses

pixel skylines
Sweet Seals For You, Always

blake kathryn

Origami Around
Mike Driver
One Nice Bug Per Day

Kaledo Art

titsay
KIROKAZE

let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
will byers stan first human second
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

Discoholic 🪩

wallacepolsom
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Today's Document

#extradirty
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@ricep0pp
i am not in control of my impulses

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oh man oh fuck its the alaskan bullworm
i have 2 wolves but they frequently undergo mitosis and fight for dominance. the name of the game is autism and the competition is vicious
i could literally exist at the wrong second and suddenly im infatuated with some vague little guy from a piece of media a friend likes that i know nothing about
already having to relive the Octavian/Luke comparisons and i think i may in fact spontaneously combust.
the blatant misremembering of Octavians character simply because readers just went along with whatever the main cast thought is honestly a little bit infuriating. he's the most spectrum coded character in HoO and most of his actions up until he is literally *brainwashed by Gaea* are justifiable.
"b-but he destroyed Percy's pillow pet comfort item!!" okay, maybe think about how he has to do this with his own comfort items every day? it's literally his job and it's very likely that nobody has ever gotten upset with him over it before. and *Reyna told him to do this* so why are we mad at octavian if it was an order from the praetor to do an augur thing and the easiest way to do that was with an item that had a connection to Percy?
i will also never get over the banquet scene at the beginning of MoA. Octavian literally does nothing wrong here but the characters decide that they just really want to make him the butt of every joke simply because they find him 'annoying'.
after Reyna does the toast and Jason is recounting their rescue of Hera/Juno, Octavian interrupts him in an exclamation of disbelief that they hadn't noticed that the queen of the gods had been imprisoned in a location that was very important to the romans. is interrupting rude? yes, but he obviously seems distraught over the fact that Juno was unknowingly imprisoned. instead of politely explaining the full extent of the situation, what does Piper do? immediately use charmspeak on him.
next, when Percy praises Jason's skills ("No wonder they made you praetor."), Octavian immediately brings up the fact that they have three praetors now that Jason has returned. this is really important, especially from his perspective since he's such a stickler for rules and regulations. Percy decides to immediately abtagonize him, and then completely dismiss his frustration over Percy choosing to step aside for Jason. Octavian has every right to be offended over this, even if it's not necessarily the most correct time to bring it up. Percy antagonizes him, and then basically blatantly insults him by treating the position he's worked his entire life for as if it's nothing important.
after that, Reyna has Octavian recite the great prophecy, ignoring his hesitancy (that is entirely warranted considering greece and rome have been at war for literal millenia). when Annabeth recites the last two lines of the prophecy and Frank brings up her parentage, Octavian has a right to be skeptical. in rome, Minerva isnt even a war goddess, and doesn't have children. without understanding how the gods operate in their seperate forms, it's reasonable, considering they arrived in a war ship, are being lead by a child of a war goddess that they are wholly unfamilliar with in more ways than most of the other major gods, and are, in fact, greek, to be suspicious of the groups intentions.
when Annabeth and Percy list the seven demigods they believe should go on the quest, Octavian is again rightfully upset. There are rules and procedures that are being completely ignored, and by visitors that are already suspicious to him and have made it very clear that they do not care about his opinion, even though he's on the senate and *the fucking augur.* he is once again interrupted, but this time by the book itself as Tyson shows up.
Ella then recites the 'mark of Athena' prophecy, which Octavian *once again* has every right to know about. prophecies are his job, and his entire *personality* as far as camp jupiter is concerned. i understand that it basically says 'Annabeth will destroy rome' but her secrecy in regards to the quest her mother gave her has never once made sense and is not justified in any way. instead of even saying something simple along the lines of 'Athena made me swear to secrecy', Percy for some reason is made to be the character that needs rescuing (in a situation that has nothing to do with him) and Annabeth takes the opportunity to make Octavian into the fool in front of all of his peers. it feels even worse later on when Annabeth and Reyna discuss the prophecy but only to agree that it even *is* one, and for no purpose beyond that for several paragraphs.
THEN when Leo offers a tour of the Argo II to Octavian and Reyna *once again* dismisses his suspicions, she winds up partly to blame for the resulting attack, as well as Leo for never telling anyone about gaea, and Annabeth for not saying anything when she noticed Leo was acting off. when Gaea attacks CJ and Octavian relays to Annabeth that he saw Leo open fire on the city, she assumes he's pulling some trick to get them to fight each other. she had known him for all of maybe a few hours and for some reason, watching her friends and boyfriend openly bully him has convinced her that he could be evil?
mind you, all of the above events happened over the course of *two* chapters, both of which are from the perspective of Annabeth who had only just met Octavian.
he only really began doing things you could consider 'evil' once gaea had fullt brainwashed him and driven him mad. and even then, he gets a fucking joke death?? as the only character up to this point that i was ever able to identify with on an ASD level, that feels really shitty! and the fact that the fandom just jumped on the Octavian hate train really drives home how people cannot handle spectrum coding/writing/*people* unless its presented in a cutesie helpless way.
but back to the original point of Octavian being compared to Luke; Luke was scheming the *entire* time we knew him. He did not want to protect his home, he did not have any real morals or self imposed rules. all he cared about was getting back at Hermes for not showing he cared about him (which is kind of bs considering Hermes is one of the busiest gods in the pantheon but as a fellow neglected kid i get it.) Luke was willing to do this in any way, even if it meant literally destroying the world. Octavian was just trying to keep his home safe in the way that any historical roman would have.
You also kind of have to consider his background. he was left at camp as an unwanted baby. we dont even know if his parents named him or if the camp did. his only identity is that he's a legacy of Apollo with a gift that is incredibly useful to CJ. this, along with his very clear coding (whether intentional on Rick's part or not), only shows me a character that was always unwanted and outcasted from the only place he even could call home. he doesnt want to be praetor for power, he wants to be praetor to prove to everyone (and himself) that he's worthy of being one of them. if he wanted power for the sake of power he could easily use his augur position to manipulate his way up, but never once do we see him attempt this. it doesn't help that he's named after THE Gaius Julius Ceasar Augustus, the man that founded the fucking roman empire in the first place. imagine how that must feel? to have your identity tied to such massive, larger than life people? imagine feeling like you have to live up to that in a place that seemingly fucking hates you for existing and only keeps you around because youre useful??
i really wish people would stop blatantly villainizing Octavian, dudes literally just an 18 year old autistic kid that was victimized by Gaea. give him a break, please.
All of this!!
"only shows me a character that was always unwanted and outcasted from the only place he even could call home. he doesnt want to be praetor for power, he wants to be praetor to prove to everyone (and himself) that he's worthy of being one of them. if he wanted power for the sake of power he could easily use his augur position to manipulate his way up, but never once do we see him attempt this.
Especially this part!
Another thing is that Octavian acting suspicious is framed as him being an annoying ass and at some points as evil when all Romans, except him, thought the Greeks didn't exist anymore!!! And when Octavian was proven right and the Greeks were out there and were organized enough to go meet the Romans in a flying war ship above their protected and safe land the man couldn't even have the right to doubt them without being demonized by the narrative.
Octavian was questioning and wanting more proof than just words and all he got was bullying
Besides let's not forget Percy swore on his life he would fight with the Romans if the Greeks attacked and then just didn't.
Hazel said Romans take this sort of oath very seriously and he would die. But no Octavian is super evil for wanting revenge on Percy. It is not like he is the reason everyone believed in the Greeks which in turn made them relaxed enough to eat in the shadow of a war ship.
no literally!!! dude was justified in all of his behavior toward the greeks but rick just refused to let us sympathise with him in any way (while giving him one of the most tragic backstories in the series oops)

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already having to relive the Octavian/Luke comparisons and i think i may in fact spontaneously combust.
the blatant misremembering of Octavians character simply because readers just went along with whatever the main cast thought is honestly a little bit infuriating. he's the most spectrum coded character in HoO and most of his actions up until he is literally *brainwashed by Gaea* are justifiable.
"b-but he destroyed Percy's pillow pet comfort item!!" okay, maybe think about how he has to do this with his own comfort items every day? it's literally his job and it's very likely that nobody has ever gotten upset with him over it before. and *Reyna told him to do this* so why are we mad at octavian if it was an order from the praetor to do an augur thing and the easiest way to do that was with an item that had a connection to Percy?
i will also never get over the banquet scene at the beginning of MoA. Octavian literally does nothing wrong here but the characters decide that they just really want to make him the butt of every joke simply because they find him 'annoying'.
after Reyna does the toast and Jason is recounting their rescue of Hera/Juno, Octavian interrupts him in an exclamation of disbelief that they hadn't noticed that the queen of the gods had been imprisoned in a location that was very important to the romans. is interrupting rude? yes, but he obviously seems distraught over the fact that Juno was unknowingly imprisoned. instead of politely explaining the full extent of the situation, what does Piper do? immediately use charmspeak on him.
next, when Percy praises Jason's skills ("No wonder they made you praetor."), Octavian immediately brings up the fact that they have three praetors now that Jason has returned. this is really important, especially from his perspective since he's such a stickler for rules and regulations. Percy decides to immediately abtagonize him, and then completely dismiss his frustration over Percy choosing to step aside for Jason. Octavian has every right to be offended over this, even if it's not necessarily the most correct time to bring it up. Percy antagonizes him, and then basically blatantly insults him by treating the position he's worked his entire life for as if it's nothing important.
after that, Reyna has Octavian recite the great prophecy, ignoring his hesitancy (that is entirely warranted considering greece and rome have been at war for literal millenia). when Annabeth recites the last two lines of the prophecy and Frank brings up her parentage, Octavian has a right to be skeptical. in rome, Minerva isnt even a war goddess, and doesn't have children. without understanding how the gods operate in their seperate forms, it's reasonable, considering they arrived in a war ship, are being lead by a child of a war goddess that they are wholly unfamilliar with in more ways than most of the other major gods, and are, in fact, greek, to be suspicious of the groups intentions.
when Annabeth and Percy list the seven demigods they believe should go on the quest, Octavian is again rightfully upset. There are rules and procedures that are being completely ignored, and by visitors that are already suspicious to him and have made it very clear that they do not care about his opinion, even though he's on the senate and *the fucking augur.* he is once again interrupted, but this time by the book itself as Tyson shows up.
Ella then recites the 'mark of Athena' prophecy, which Octavian *once again* has every right to know about. prophecies are his job, and his entire *personality* as far as camp jupiter is concerned. i understand that it basically says 'Annabeth will destroy rome' but her secrecy in regards to the quest her mother gave her has never once made sense and is not justified in any way. instead of even saying something simple along the lines of 'Athena made me swear to secrecy', Percy for some reason is made to be the character that needs rescuing (in a situation that has nothing to do with him) and Annabeth takes the opportunity to make Octavian into the fool in front of all of his peers. it feels even worse later on when Annabeth and Reyna discuss the prophecy but only to agree that it even *is* one, and for no purpose beyond that for several paragraphs.
THEN when Leo offers a tour of the Argo II to Octavian and Reyna *once again* dismisses his suspicions, she winds up partly to blame for the resulting attack, as well as Leo for never telling anyone about gaea, and Annabeth for not saying anything when she noticed Leo was acting off. when Gaea attacks CJ and Octavian relays to Annabeth that he saw Leo open fire on the city, she assumes he's pulling some trick to get them to fight each other. she had known him for all of maybe a few hours and for some reason, watching her friends and boyfriend openly bully him has convinced her that he could be evil?
mind you, all of the above events happened over the course of *two* chapters, both of which are from the perspective of Annabeth who had only just met Octavian.
he only really began doing things you could consider 'evil' once gaea had fullt brainwashed him and driven him mad. and even then, he gets a fucking joke death?? as the only character up to this point that i was ever able to identify with on an ASD level, that feels really shitty! and the fact that the fandom just jumped on the Octavian hate train really drives home how people cannot handle spectrum coding/writing/*people* unless its presented in a cutesie helpless way.
but back to the original point of Octavian being compared to Luke; Luke was scheming the *entire* time we knew him. He did not want to protect his home, he did not have any real morals or self imposed rules. all he cared about was getting back at Hermes for not showing he cared about him (which is kind of bs considering Hermes is one of the busiest gods in the pantheon but as a fellow neglected kid i get it.) Luke was willing to do this in any way, even if it meant literally destroying the world. Octavian was just trying to keep his home safe in the way that any historical roman would have.
You also kind of have to consider his background. he was left at camp as an unwanted baby. we dont even know if his parents named him or if the camp did. his only identity is that he's a legacy of Apollo with a gift that is incredibly useful to CJ. this, along with his very clear coding (whether intentional on Rick's part or not), only shows me a character that was always unwanted and outcasted from the only place he even could call home. he doesnt want to be praetor for power, he wants to be praetor to prove to everyone (and himself) that he's worthy of being one of them. if he wanted power for the sake of power he could easily use his augur position to manipulate his way up, but never once do we see him attempt this. it doesn't help that he's named after THE Gaius Julius Ceasar Augustus, the man that founded the fucking roman empire in the first place. imagine how that must feel? to have your identity tied to such massive, larger than life people? imagine feeling like you have to live up to that in a place that seemingly fucking hates you for existing and only keeps you around because youre useful??
i really wish people would stop blatantly villainizing Octavian, dudes literally just an 18 year old autistic kid that was victimized by Gaea. give him a break, please.
knowing nobody pays attention to chosos dense bushy eyebrows is absolutely killing me
please theyre literally so pretty stop giving him fucking drawn on pencil eyebrows
THEYRE LITERALLY GORGEOUS???
trying to assign animal crossing villagers to choso is proving astronomically difficult i wanted to post this 4 days ago but i just cant narrow it down to 10 villagers
he definitely has a bias for music and fashion hobby villagers though that i am certain of
i just opened tumblr to way more attention than i should have where the fuck did you all come from
this is a massive ego boost you all get to watch me be absolutely deranged over the silly goofy
literally me rn
Can’t believe this is real
BABYGIRL MY BABYGIRL
Look at him look at his face
THE HAND ON THE HIP
I LOVE THIS EPISODE

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EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP LOOK AT HIM THIS BOY LMFAO I LOVE SEEING HIM SO SMUG
cant sleep thinking about the eeby
Choso headcanons bc im unwell
18+ under the nsfw heading minors dni
sfw
his eyebrows are dense and fluffy and he has just the tiniest hint of a unibrow that unites them when he knits his eyebrows together
any music about not feeling human enough or something adjecent to that will make him cry (will wood, TØP, etc.)
he was sentient and able to 'observe' his surroundings for the ~150 years he was in the jar
which means he likely had to watch noritoshi kamo abuse his mother to create his younger siblings
in the jars he had a sort of telepathic connection to the other death paintings
for all the years they were contained they all could communicate (in a sense) and found comfort in each other (thats why hes so obsessed with family and keeping his brothers safe and it also explains how he just *knew* that yuji was his brother)
probably has a breakdown at least once a month about his trauma
doesnt think he deserves to live a human life but keeps going for his family
smells like lavendar and cedar wood with a faint trace of laundry detergent
has an oral fixation and is always biting his lip/cheek or around his fingernails
nsfw
his favorite bedroom petname for you is bunny
has the NASTIEST breeding kink but everybody knows this
"my little breeding bunny" is a required phrase at least once every time you fuck
the type to ask you for a quickie before work only for you to show up 45 minutes late because he just couldnt stop fucking you
would be an absolute bastard about it and show up with lunch for you only to give you head under your desk the entire duration of your lunch break
verbally an absolute bastard of a tease but he cant hold himself back long enough to tease you physically
refuses to do anal completely; if hes not cumming in your cunt it doesnt feel right to him
never shuts the fuck up about how pretty you would look pregnant with his baby
always goes for multiple rounds with very short breaks in between (he doesnt even pull out)
literally fucks himself stupid in you and fucks you stupid in the process
when you both do finally finish (for the final time (maybe)) his aftercare is immaculate
you are literally the stars in his sky and he wants you to know it
this is now a choso stan account thanks
headcanons and likely fanfics to follow
What did Maul and Ahsoka talk about while Ezra and Kanan were attempting to ride to the top of the temple?
“…..so how ya doin? So, uh... You were right about Anakin after allllll…….”

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maul begging ahsoka to kill him will never not get to me
hes literally lost everything and his abuser is about to take full control over the entire galaxy dude has nothing left to live for
I wish so bad that Ahsoka had listened to Maul instead of letting her love for Anakin win. I love the disaster lineage and the theme they have of love always being their biggest weakness, but god why didnt she just *listen*
"I know Anakin" bitch he's literally proving you wrong as you speak wdym
like yeah, him offering an apprentice role to Ahsoka was definitely partly his pride. But he also doesn't know any other way to form a bond with someone? It was also him offering like, an olive branch of sorts, for them to work together to undermine Palpatine.
I just mourn what could have been with a Maul/Ahsoka team up :/