Zara 🥀

Nesta sat at the table, her eyes closed, trying to force away the image of Cassian crumpled against a wall of the prison.

She could pinpoint the exact moment she had turned back, realising she’d rather die in that prison alongside him if she had to.

She refused to let herself dwell too deeply on why that was.

“Thank you” Nesta smiled down at the cake that appeared.

“Cassian told me you talk to the house” Rhys said from the kitchen door, his wings out behind him.

Nesta stiffened. They had not spoken, not properly, since she had told Feyre about the babe.

“We’re friends.” She sat tense, her spine straight, as she looked at the High lord.

He stared at her for a moment, not harshly, as he so often did. As she expected him to, considering all she had done. The hurt she had caused Feyre in revealing his secret.

“Cassian’s not here, he’s with Azriel”. Her eyes darted around the room, she had never been alone with Rhysand this long.

“I know, I came to see you”. His wings shifted, and she realised he was equally as uncomfortable as she was.

Nesta scowled, she was too shaken from today to deal with whatever he had to say.

“You went back for him.” His voice was soft, a gentleness to it that had never been reserved for her. She faltered at this softness, at the turn in conversation.

“I couldn’t leave him” she said simply, her own eyes mirroring his pain.

“Cassian has this annoying habit of sacrificing himself” Rhysand said with a pained smile.

Nesta swallowed. They would always share this. Cassian would always tie them together.

A weight dropped in the pit of Nesta’s stomach. She realised this fear would never cease.

“Very few people would have done what you did.” He stared at her, a hard look on his face.

“Very few people would have gone back and faced almost certain death and faced Ianthys the way you did ”. He continued to stare at her, his eyes assessing her as if she was a puzzle he had yet to piece together.

“I couldn’t leave him. You of all people should understand that”. Nesta began to grow frustrated at Rhysands pointed gaze.

“I didn’t think you would” he said at last.

“I’ve done it before” she added cooly, her familiar walls beginning to rise.

“I don’t mean it in offence Nesta” he shook his head.

“What do you want Rhysand”. She asked sharply.

“To start over”

Nesta faltered.

“I love my brother, and I love Feyre, and I do believe that we’ll be in each other’s lives. So I want to start over”.

“A few months ago you were threatening to banish me to the human lands”. Her heart beat loudly in her chest, her blood thrumming.

“I won’t apologise for that. I saw you. I saw the way you were hurting. And I saw the way that hurt Feyre. We both know that no polite or kind words would have helped you. That ultimatum was the only way you’d listen”.

“You had no right to-“

“I did. Watching you hurt yourself hurt everyone. And you’d have sooner ripped us to pieces than listen to what we had to say. You can hate me for it. This won’t be the first time I’ll be painted as the villain to help my people”. He stood, eyes unfaltering, swirling with that darkness.

“Am I supposed to believe you cared?” She spoke bitterly.

“I did. Not for you. But because every day you spent drunk or fucking someone, it hurt my mate. And it hurt Cassian. And I was never going to stand by and let your pain hurt them too”.

“You hated me long before the war ended”. She remarked. If they were going to talk about this, she’d make him as uncomfortable as she could.

“You hated me because I was scared and terrified and wasn’t willing to sacrifice myself or play mother to my sisters”. She seethed.

The High lord stared at her. His eyes softening.

“I hated you for choosing. I don’t blame you for not going into that forest. I hated you for choosing to protect Elain. I hated you for the way you spoke to Feyre compared to how you spoke to Elain. I hated that you showed your sister no gratitude. But I have never once hated you for not going into that forest. It was never your responsibility. And I’m sorry if you ever thought it was“

Nesta closed her eyes.

“I have two brothers. And I could never imagine favouring one of them over the other. That’s what I hated you for”. There was no malice in his eyes. Only understanding. He spoke as if it was all in the past.

Nesta had made many mistakes, but Rhys was not the male she wanted to speak with about this.

“We’re alike you and I. More than either of us would like to admit”. He smiled softly.

“We set a precedent, the first time we met. I never resented Elain the way I did you, and maybe a lot of what has happened would have been different if we took our masks off earlier.” He came to stand near the table, and she regarded him, and the mask he wore now.

“I propose a truce. For my brother and my mates sake, if nothing else. For what you did today.” He squared his shoulders and looked at her. It was without anger, without hate. She had never seen his eyes this way, not for her.

“She told me you apologised”. He added at last, eyes watching her just as closely.

Nesta stilled. She had been so angry that day.

“I shouldn’t have sent you from the city.” He swallowed. “I know what it’s like- the guilt, the grief. Anger was my defence for a long time, and I acted as a territorial mate and not as a High lord.”

Nesta turned away from his eyes. “I never meant to hurt her.” She added softly.

“I know. We’d tear apart the world for them it seems.” Rhys huffed a laugh at his own revelation.

“I think we’d be much more effective fighting on the same side” he mused, his eyes sparkling.

“A truce” Nesta said simply, nodding her head, exhaling.

He smiled at her in understanding.

They might never be friends the way Cassian and Feyre were. But they would have this. This brokered peace of two people who would kill and cut down whoever stood in their way and feel no remorse.

“Until next time Nesta”. His eyes twinkled with stars, and he walked to the balcony.

“Goodbye Rhysand”. Nesta did not smile fully, but she did not scowl or grimace, and that in itself was progress.

She stood at the balcony for a while, watching the High Lord fly, at the city below. With each breath she took, her body felt lighter, her head clearer, than it had for a while.

I can’t believe I found your tumblr-

“Is Rhys still getting ready??” Asked Mor, walking into the High Lord and Lady’s bedroom.

“It’s his hair. It takes longer than mine does” Feyre grinned, even as Rhys bit her ear.

“Cousin, I didn’t think I’d ever have to say this, but get out my bedroom”.

“No manners. Is this how you treat your favourite cousin?” Mor huffed, scowling at the High Lord.

Rhys rolled his eyes.

“And I’m not here for you, I’m here for Feyre” she said, ruffling through Feyre’s cupboard.

“She means my jewellery” Feyre added, her hands wrapping around Rhys’s neck, as her mates hands roamed her body.

“Well yes but semantics” Mor replied, her back to the couple and completely oblivious.

“Cousin, get out of my bedroom. Now”

Rhys growled against Feyre’s neck.

Mor sniffed the air. “EW! EW! IM IN THE ROOM! RHYS EW!”

“Then get out!” He yelled, narrowly dodging the pillow she threw at his head.

•••

Later that evening, as everyone came to the river house for their monthly dinner, Feyre recalled her first family dinner. When she was still wrapped up in her own grief and darkness. It had taken her family and her mate months to slowly coax her out of it.

“Why were you both grinning” she asked randomly as most the food was finished and cleared away and the wine flowed freely.

“What??” Asked Cassian, unsuccessfully attempting to swallow the huge bite of chicken he’d taken.

“When I first came to Velaris, that first dinner, you and Az were grinning from the balcony” she looked at the shadowsinger, who had a small smile as he remembered the evening.

Gwyn, sat beside Azriel, listened to Feyre with rapt attention as Azriel filled her in.

“Oh” Cassian looked at her with warm eyes, leaning slightly into Nesta, who rubbed small circles on his back.

“We were grinning, because Rhys, the royal prick, has been a flirt for as long as we could remember. But on that balcony, cauldron on that balcony he looked like he was already in love with you”

Feyre tuned her head to her mate, who was smiling down at his plate.

“5 minutes with you, and he’d smiled more than the 6 months he’d been back. You had him wrapped around your finger and we KNEW the pompous bullshit he’d do to impress you. What he’d NEED to do to impress you, because his usual smooth ‘Im a fae high lord bullshit’ wasn’t impressing you.”

A laugh from Mor, and Azriel snorted.

“You didn’t see when she threw the shoe at him” Mor quipped.

“You threw a shoe at him” asked Azriel with blatant shock across his face.

“When was this!” He exclaimed, hiccuping, his wine glass spilling.

“How is this the piece of information that evades you” mused Nesta, chortling.

“Feyre, I want a painting of Azriels face at this very moment for Solciste. I want to memorialise it.” Mor cackled.

“How does she manage to throw a shoe at you!” Exclaimed Cassian with drunken outrage. “We’re supposed to be the strongest Illyrians in all of history!” He wailed.

“Ahhh yes I can hear the story now” grinned Nesta.

“Esteemed high lord bested by silk slipper” she finished with a flourish of her hands.

Mor cackled. “The best part” she took a gulp of wine. “The best part, is that she threw her other shoe at him too!” And fell once more into a fit of laughter.

Rhys looked down at his plate and shook his head. He turned slightly to look at Feyre, and wordlessly, grabbed the legs of her chair and pulled her flush beside him.

“Awwwwwwww look at Rhys pulling out the moves” drawled Mor.

Rhys ignored her, looking only at Feyre as he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her even closer to his chest.

That was smooth, high lord.

I aim to please, High lady.

“He was smooth on Calanmai” she leaned against his chest, curling her legs up in her seat, her food all but forgotten in lieu of the warmth of snuggling against Rhys.

“What’s Calanmai?” Asked Nesta, she too was snuggling into Cassian, food forgotten as he played with the ends of her hair with his arm across her shoulders, both finishing their wine glasses.

“Spring court sex party” Cassian said smugly, giving his mate a heated look, biting her ear.

“THATS how you met each other” gaped Gwyn.

“Sets the precedent don’t you think” quipped Mor, taking a gulp of wine.

Even Amren snickered at this.

“Coming from the ‘we fucked in the middle of a war camp’, wonder what THAT says about your relationship ancient one” Drawled Cassian, pointing at Amren. Beside him, Nesta giggled into her wine glass.

“And what does the dining table say about yours” came Azriels voice, Mor spat her wine out.

“GIRL” screeched a Amren, now covered in wine.

Cassian had a smug satisifed look, even as the dining table erupted into chaos.

“The dining table!?!” Exclaimed Feyre, her own laugh bubbling from her.

“That’s a communal area you heathens” Rhys’s arm around Feyre’s waist tightened, as both their bodies shook.

“People EAT there” exclaimed Feyre through a hiccup.

Gwyn braced her hand on Azriel’s shoulder as her chair toppled back with her full bellied laugh, tears streaking down her face.

“As if you two can talk” retorted Cassian, pointing to the High Lord and Lady, knocking over a vase as his wings flapped.

“The whole Illyrian camp heard you two fuck against that table!”

“Yes but it was empty when we did it!” Shot back Feyre.

“Only because me and Mor left when you started to rip each other’s clothes off!” Retorted Cassian.

“Az I thought I told you to chaperone them” exclaimed Rhys.

“Why do you think they got no further” hiccuped Azriel.

“Not that night we didn’t” Cassian laughed and grinned with pure satisfaction.

“And bullshit, you and Feyre haven’t fucked on this very table” Cassian looked pointedly at the table they sat at.

“Why haven’t we fucked in Illyria yet. I can’t think of a better way to piss of those pricks!” Asked Nesta with wide eyes.

“For all the reasons to have sex with him, why are Illyrians in the camp on that list at all” Mused Gwyn.

“Have you two fucked on the table we have our monthly dinners at!” Asked Mor in drunk disgust.

“You’re all animals” came Amren, mock disgust on her face as she poured herself a glass.

“A little birdie told me, that you’re quite the exhibitionist Mor” Nesta said with a coy smile.

Feyre choked on her own drink, leaning into Rhys’s hand that rubbed circles on her back.

“So that’s what you get up to at Rita’s” Cassian wiggled him eyebrows, Mor threw him a vulgar gesture.

“I’ll kill Emerie” Mor swore.

“I heard you’ve become quite close friends with Emerie, Mor” mused Feyre with a raised eyebrow.

What happened to not getting involved Came Rhys’s voice in his mates head.

Like you’re any less of a busybody. I know why you invited Gwyn Feyre retorted.

“Jealous that I’m replacing you with a new best friend are you Feyre” asked Mor, swinging the bottle of wine.

“So we’re just going to pretend we didn’t hear that” asked a bewildered Cassian.

“Anyone else have any kinks they want to share with the table” he asked, drunkenly looking around.

“You should ask the shadowsinger” Amren said, draining a bottle of wine.

The tips of Azriels ears reddened, and beside him, Gwyn gaped, mouth open, as she turned her entire body to look at him.

“Keeping tabs on us are you Amren” mused Mor

“The fuck does that mean!” Came Cassian

“I KNEW it” screeched Nesta

“It’s alllllways the quiet ones” giggled Feyre.

“What the fuck, is my court” whispered Rhys in shock.

“Well share it with the table then” Gwyn slapped at Azriels chest with the back of her hand, her eyes tingling with drunken excitement as she laughed.

He smirked at her, whispering something in her ear

“WHAT” Gwyn exclaimed, laughing so hard her chair fell backwards, only Azriels reflexes catching her around the waist.

“I’m going to drop Gwyn back” he said, standing, holding Gwyn to his chest where she continued to giggle and play with his shadows.

“You’re more than welcome to stay Gwyn.”Feyre said drowsily. “There’s more than enough bedrooms”

“I can winnow you if you’d like” Rhys offered, Feyre tucked into his side.

A quick look at Mor confirmed she’d need help getting to her own bedroom at the river house, and would not be winnowing anytime soon at all.

“No thanks, I don’t want to intrude.” Gwyn added shyly.

Nesta scoffed. “She means she loves any excuse to fly and doesn’t want to miss out” Gwyn stuck her tongue out at her.

“As if you’re much better miss ‘lets fly across the Sidra at 4am and watch the sunrise’ ” Mor teased.

“What’s the point of having a mate if I don’t get to use him to appease my every whim” Nesta shrugged her shoulders, smiling as Cassian peppered her neck with soft kisses.

“She makes valid points” Feyre nodded in drunken agreement, grinning like a Cheshire cat as Rhys stroked down her arm.

“Well, there’s a bedroom here if ever you change your mind” Rhys, the most sober of them all, was ever the gracious host.

Thank you high lord” drawled Cassian.

Nesta nodded her head like a toddler.

“Yes why thaaaank you” regaled Mor, putting on a posh accent.

“I hate you all” said Amren grumpily.

“I think you miss Varian” mused Nesta.

“Can he do any water tricks?” Asked Cassian.

“What?” Amren snapped.

“You knowww, can he make you wetttt”

“EW”

“Cass that was terrible”

“Disgusting brother”

“Rhys erase that from my memory I’m giving you permission to go into my head.

“You’d be surprised how many tricks he knows” Amren added cooly.

“I think discussing Amren’s sex life is where we should draw the line” Rhys said in between laughs.

“Thanks Cassian now I’ve got an image of Varian and Amren in bed in my head” Mor scrunched up her face and retched.

“Been there, seen it in real time” Nesta quipped with a grin.

“Nesta stop trying to show me naked Amren I don’t need to see this!” Wailed Feyre, pressing her hands against her eyes.

“Nesta if you show Feyre, she’ll show me” Rhys said with panicked eyes. “By the cauldron if I see that I will force Feyre to erase my memories drunk or not”

“Relax High lord you’ve seen half this table naked” Nesta slurred.

“No I have-“ Rhys stopped mid sentence, looking around with a bemused expression.

“Huh” he said simply, dropping into his chair and taking a swig of wine.

“I’ve only seen Rhys naked” Feyre poked her mate in the arm, grinning.

“Hold on” came Nesta. “When have you three” she pointed at the three Illyrians. “seen each other naked” she asked, eyes wide.

“The birchin. They sit naked together in the steam, sweating.”

“Naked. Sweating.” Feyre emphasises, nodding her head and smiling.

“Huh” said Nesta, blinking rapidly.

“Feyre”

“Yes Nesta?”

“Paint me THAT for solciste”.

Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie sat beside each other on a couch eating snacks, all of which the house had provided at their request.

“Nesta stop drooling and pay attention”. Gwyn teased, indeed, Nesta was staring directly at her mate, eyes slightly darker as she took in his shirtless form and rippling muscles.

A snort, and the three females knew Cassian had heard her, he flexed slightly more, confirming everyone’s suspicions.

“Of course I’m drooling” Nesta drawled, scowling as she watched Cassian’s arrogant smile. “How can you look at Azriel and not drool” the three females all snickered, watching Cassian’s face drop into a scowl.

“Jealous Cas” Mor teased, sauntering in and plopping down onto the couch beside Emerie.

Indeed, Gwyn turned her gaze towards the shadowsinger, his body broad and muscles rippling, skin gleaming with sweat. He was not as wide as Cassian, but with his shadows surrounding him, he looked graceful and deadly all at once- like an angel of death, Gwyn thought.

Gwyn followed his movements, the way his arms moved, and cleared her throat, quickly looking away, cheeks burning, turning back to Nesta and Cassian’s argument.

“You’ve had five hundred years more training compared to us, and yet we’re close to beating you” Nesta scoffed, looking towards her mate. A bald face lie the three females knew, Cassian and Azriel were close to legends, but still, their egos didn’t need to hear that.

“I think we’d be able to beat you, or come close to, anyways” Gwyn added, looking at Azriel’s raised eyebrows and smiling.

“Is that so” he drawled, arms crossing his chest.

The two Illyrians began prowling towards them, and Gwyn stood up and walked towards the shadowsinger.

“Pick Az, either you trained us well or you didn’t” she smirked, watching Azriel stare down at her.

He stepped slightly closer to her. “I know how well I trained you.” His eyes scanned her face, and Gwyn’s eyes gleamed and sparkles under his perusal. “But we’re better” he finished smugly.

“Humble, aren’t you” she teased. Their chests touching, her thin Illyrian leathers the only thing separating them.

“There’s a few things I don’t need to boast about” his wings twitched behind him. “But apparently you need reminding that I could have you flat on your back on that mat in seconds.”

Gwyn swallowed, her imagination running rampant and her blood heating, Azriel smirked watching her reaction, and walked past her towards Cassian, turning his head to look at her and smirk once more.

Gwyn sent him a vulgar gesture.

He smiled, opening his mouth to respond.

“Cassian put me down!” Shrieked Nesta, where Cassian had thrown her over his shoulder.

“Tell me again who’s stronger” he said smugly, carrying his mate as if she weighed nothing.

Gwn and Azriel laughed watching the two, whilst Emerie and Mor shouted ways for her to detangle herself, and the afternoon continued in much the same manner.

•••

“Train all you want, I’ll still beat you” Azriel drawled, walking into the training room at midnight. Gwyn stuck her tongue out at him, going back to her punches against the bag, shaking her head to clear the image of Azriel shirtless from her mind so she could concentrate.

“Feeling threatened shadowsinger” Gwyn raised an eyebrow, her punches consistent as she felt Azriel come towards her.

He grabbed the bag, using his strength to hold it steady.

“You’re at a disadvantage Gwyn” his eyes followed her body, slowly scanning every inch of her in her Illyrian leathers.

“Why’s that” she asked, breathless.

“I’ve seen you fight at your best- helped you get there. But you’ve never seen me”

He sounded so smug, Gwyn threw all her weight into the next punch, Azriel didn’t even falter.

“I’ve seen you spar” she wiped the sweat from her brow.

Azriel scoffed.

“You’ve seen me and Cass friendly spar, but that’s low stakes, no threat. You’ve never seen me fight”. His wings twitched, and his shadows swarmed, probably remembering the war and battles he’d fought.

Gwyn looked into his eyes, losing herself in her imagination, she could picture him on the battlefield; commanding, vicious, deadly.

“I can imagine it” she added, her voice breathless for reasons that had nothing to do with her sparring.

Gwyn raised her arm, and Azriels eyes followed his shadows that wrapped around her hand.

His eyes held hers for a second, and Gwyn smiled.

“Still don’t think it would be all that impressive” she added cheekily.

He moved away from the punch bag, coming to stand in front of her. He lifted his hand, his fingertips touching hers.

Gwyn watched amazed as his shadows swarmed and blended seamlessly with those wrapped around her hand.

His fingers intertwined with hers, and she watched transfixed as his shadows danced between the two of them.

Azriel smiled.

“What!” Gwyn shrieked, as her body was hauled. Suddenly, she was pressed against Azriel, her back to his chest, one of his arms across her shoulders, the other wrapped around her waist.

“Azriel what the-“

“Get out of my hold Gwyn” he spoke in her ear, and Gwyn shivered as his breath brushed her neck.

“What?” She asked, her brain fuzzy, fixating only on all the points where Azriel was touching her.

“You seem to think you could win” his hold on her waist tightened as she struggled to free herself.

“Use all that training, this is as basic as it’ll get.”

He turned his head to her other side. “Prove me wrong Gwyn”.

Hearing how smug he was, Gwyn scowled, willing herself to calm down, and looked down at where he held her.

“Good” he whispered.

She could feel every ridge and muscle of his chest, and she had to will herself to concentrate.

She placed her foot outside of his, and turning her body, she simultaneously elbowed him, and used her other hand to grab his arm at her neck, pulling down and away from her.

“Well” she asked smugly, waiting for his praise.

Azriel shrugged, and Gwyn scowled.

“Nyx could have gotten out of that hold, I’d hardly call it impressive”

Gwyn scoffed, and a plan slowly formed in her head.

“Let’s spar then” she added, eying the mat.

Azriel laughed, a booming laugh that sounded like music, like a melody Gwyn wanted to memorise and sing to herself.

She ran at him and punched, hoping she’d have the element of suprise on her side.

“Is that the best you’ve got?” He grabbed her arm and spun her round. She tried to kick his shin, and in return he grabbed her thigh and held her in place.

“You forget something Az” she said, balancing on one leg whilst Azriel gripped the other, he squeezed her thigh in warning. She was so aware of every point of his chest that touched her, of his fingers, her skin burning at the points on her thigh he held.

She elbowed him. Azriels grip loosened marginally, and with one leg she kicked up at his chest, twisting her body into a roll as she pulled away from him.

“Nice trick” he smiled, rubbing at his chest lightly.

“You let me get out of that didn’t you” she squinted at him, staring at the mass of muscles that lined his body, at the innate strength he possessed.

He smirked, and inclined his head, crossing his arms across his chest and flexing them ever so slightly.

“Again” she beckoned him, and with one last gaze at her, he ran at her.

Gwyn pulled her arm out, aiming for the flesh of his neck, but he was so fast, he grabbed her waist, flung her upwards as if she was a doll.

She free fell for a second, but then she was in azriels arms, one of his arms under her knees and the other supporting her back, he absorbed all the impact.

“That’s 2 for 0 if I’m counting correctly Gwyn”. He held her in his arms, both breathing heavy, this close he could see every freckle, and every speck of colour in her eyes.

He slowly put her back on her feet, her body sliding against his. She gripped his shoulders, and squeezed once playfully.

“Do I look like I’m giving up anytime soon Az?” She questioned. Azriels eyes raked down the length of her, slowly taking in every inch. The look in his eyes was not the gaze of a teacher assessing a students form.

It was dark, heated, and Gwyn gripped his shoulders once more, appreciating the corded muscle and the heat of his bare skin.

Gwyn spread her fingers on his shoulders, and before he realised what she was doing, applied pressure to a small joint between his shoulder and neck.

“What the-“ Azriel flinched instinctively, and Gwyn used his distraction to elbow him once in the stomach, and brought her leg up to his shin.

Gwyn bought her elbow to his side, hoping to throw him off balance, but Azriel had recovered from his slip. Before Gwyn could take a breath, Azriel had his hands on her waist,and flipped her so fast the breath was knocked from her.

Gwyn ended up on her back on the mat, Azriel caging her with his arms on either side of her head. “What just-” she was still recovering, her head slightly dizzy and even though Azriel had absorbed most of the impact, he’d still thrown her onto her back.

“Tap out Gwyn” he leaned in, his hair tickling her neck and cheek, the length of him against her, he was huge, and she felt tiny against the bulk of him.

“I’m being nice Gwyn” he smirked watching her stubbornly refuse. He leaned down even further, right into he crook of her neck, his arms flexing on either side of her head. “Tap. Out” he growled.

Gwyn, her head a mess surrounded by so much of the Illyrian above her, slowly let a plan form. “Never” she gasped out, her legs wrapping around his waist, twisting her upper body and trying to knock Azriel sideways.

He shifted only slightly, laughed once, and in the next breath, they flew to the wall on the opposite end.

“Cheat” she gasped, her legs wrapped so tightly around his waist, every inch of their fronts melded together. Azriel held both of her hands in one of his above her head. He pulled on her arms once, and her back arched off against the wall.

“I win” he whispered, dragging his eyes across her face, lingering on her lips.

“You cheated” she retorted, leaning her head slightly against his shoulders, her arms beginning to ache.

“Did I” he smirked against her, loosening his hold on her arms so it wasn’t punishing, but still holding her.

“One day Az” she looked into his eyes. “One day, it’ll be me who has you flat on your back.”

They were walking such a fine line. Even now, she knew what he was thinking, what they both were. What they were imagining.

“I’d love to see that happen Gwyn. But I promise you this.” She watched his throat move as he swallowed, felt the way his heart beat slightly faster against her. “I’ll let you think you’re winning. And then” he release a jagged breath, dropping his hold on her arms and gripping her waist instead.

“And then, just like now, I’ll have you pinned down before you’ve even taken a breath. But I won’t be kind and I won’t be soft. And that time. That time, I won’t let you up. Not until you beg.”

Stepping out into the Illyrian camp, the cold biting her skin, Nesta could hear familiar voices.

Holding her head high, she walked into the training field. “Morning everyone” she gave a quick smile, and ensured she held no-ones gaze.

“Balthazar”. She gave her most flirty smile, the Illyrian, who had become a close friend, gave a friendly smile back.

In a bid to help better their views of women, the Valkyries and inner circle trained at the Illyrian camp a few days a week, Balthazar, since helping her during thewrite, had become good friend with Nesta.

“Should I ask why you’re over here” Balthazar asked, a smile smile playing on his lips as Nesta attempted to maintain her flirty demeanour and stretch, all whilst ensuring Cassian could see her.

She could hear Mor laughing, and Nesta resisted the urge to growl at her.

Her mating bond was chafing, and watching Mor train with Cassian, Nesta wanted to rip both of them to pieces.

She was being ridiculous she knew, but she couldn’t quell her jealousy, her possessiveness. She couldn’t stop picturing the two of them togther.

A fight had ensued, and here she stood.

“I take it you two haven’t made up yet then” Balthazar quipped.

“I need you to trust me, and go along with me” she whispered, so that her mate, who’s eyes were trained on her, did not overhear.

Balthazar’s eyes widened as Nesta began sliding a hand up his arm as if to admire the muscles underneath. Nesta had to grab his arm as he attempted to shake her off.

Cassian growled, and even from across the sparring field, she could feel his anger.

“Nesta I do not need the General to rip me to pieces with his bare hands because his mate wants to make him jealous” Balthazar held his fake smile in place, but his eyes were panicked.

Nesta rolled her eyes, trying to quell the rush of desire at the males terror. A reminder that her mate was lethal, that he would be written in history for his brutal strength and tact, revered across all seven courts for his feats in war.

“Nes, this is a bad idea. This won’t end well. The lack of sex has given you both short fuses” came Emerie’s voice, her friend usually the one who calmed everything, could see Cassian’s temper rising.

“I had to ask Gwyn to sleep over because I was worried I’d beg Cassian for sex in the middle of the night” Nesta snapped. Emeries lips began to twitch as she held in a laugh at both Netas outburst, and for poor Gwyn who had become an unwitting third wheel, and even Balthazar’s lips twitched.

“ I haven’t fucked my mate in over two weeks, so today i will use every skill and weapon in my arsenal to get him to throw in the towel” she huffed, her body so attuned to Cassian, she had to restrain herself from jumping onto his back and taking him right here.

“So you” she turned on Balthazar, squeezing his arm, even as she compared it as so much smaller than her mates. “Will pretend. You will let me flirt and antagonise my mate, and you can be assured he will be far too busy devouring every inch of me, to even remember to snarl at you”. Emerie snickered, but Nesta, who was now imagining Cassian and her on a kitchen table, was too distracted to care.

Nesta turned to Balthazar, putting both her hands on his chest, ignoring her friends grumble, and began to take deep breaths.

Cassian snarled again, and the sound of another Illyrian swearing told her that whoever had been unfortunate enough to spar against Cassian was taking the brunt of his anger.

Nesta smiled and slid closer to Balthazar, ignoring the scent that was all wrong, and focused on Cassian’s heavy breathing and snarls, imagining it was him she was chest to chest with instead.

“If you wanted him angry you can be rest assured that’s worked” muttered Balthazar. “He’s just taken four Illyrians to the floor” he shook his head, in wonder and part fear.

“Good, time to take it up a notch” she winked at him as she leaned to rest her head on his arm, and both jumped slightly at the sound of Cassian’s sword colliding with his opponents, imagining the power his angry stroke would have held to make such a sound.

“Don’t mind me” she said walking up to Feyre and Rhys, this close to her mate she could feel him shaking with rage. Feigning an innocent smile even as Feyre struggled to muffle her own laughter, she grabbed two swords.

She gave a quick dismissive look at Cassian, even as her blood heated. Sweat falling across Cassian’s heaving chest, his face terrifying and lined with such rage Nesta almost faltered. The three males he was sparring with dropped to the floor at his assault, all the while his eyes remained locked on Nesta.

As she walked back, she heard Morrigan drawl “Well this is interesting”.

“I agree cousin, a most interesting development” quipped Rhys, as she heard his footsteps come closer to her.

“Hello Rhysand”

“Nesta. Have you quite finished torturing my brother yet? Any longer and I’ll have no Illyrians left standing”. His voice laced with laughter and interest.

“He’s not grovelling yet, so no” she smirked, and he responded with a dark laugh.

She lowered her voice to a whisper to ensure no one else could hear. “Make sure Cassian doesn’t…”

She hesistated, unsure how to describe that she wanted his jealousy, but not to damage all the work he had done here.

“I’ve got him.” He assured. “I’m not sure what your plan is, and I trust you, but the minute I think it’s pushing him too far I’ll stop this” he warned, eyes soft but juggling the role of brother and high lord.

“I’m relying on that” she assured him, glad that he was here. “Thank you” she added with a small smile and laughed a little as he walked back to the others, remarking how far the two had come in their relationship together.

“Here” she handed Balthazar a sword, “I’m going to teach you some fighting stances” she smiled, and Balthazar shook his head and rolled his eyes.

She pressed her body into his side, stroking down his arm to hold the sword above his hand.

“Cheap move Nesta” Balthazar roller his eyes. His siphons glowed, as did the siphons of every Illyrian around her. Cassian she realised. Cassian’s rage had activated all seven of his siphons , and every Illyrian nearby had responded by battle readying, feeling threatened at the power in her mates veins.

Nesta smiled. She was walking such a fine line between his jealousy and that uncontrollable rage that all fae and Illyrians possessed. She knew Rhys was readying, monitoring Cassians every breath.

“Fine. Let’s spar”

They faced off, and after a few false dodges, Nesta ran at him.

Balthazar fell to the floor and Nesta fell next to him, her arms across his chest. “Shit” Balthazar heaved breathlessly.

A vicious snarl, so loud Nesta’s bones shook, pure terror on Balthazar’s face and the familiar scent of her mate swarmed her.

His wings cast a shadow, his huge body stalking and shaking, dark eyes ready to rip Balthazar to pieces.

“Shit” she heard Rhys mutter and a second later, her and Cassian were being winnowed, dumped in Rhys’s mothers house and Rhys winnowed away once more.

His body in front of her, every sense and thought eddied away from her as she inhaled his scent and the smell of his sweat, possessiveness, rage and from the flare oh his nostrils, he detected her arousal too.

“What are you playing at” he grit out, his voice so low and guttural she could barely understand. he stalked to her, chest to chest, her head tipped so far to look into his eyes.

“Training” she gasped, this close to his body, she could do nothing but feel Cassian envelope her every sense.

“Is that what you call it” his voice sounded angry, as if he was using all his self control to not pounce her, he spoke againsther neck, and she whimpered.

“It’s just training remember, completely platonic” she bit out, throwing his own words at him.

The breath flew from her lungs as Cassian slammed her against the wall. His hand around her throat.

“Let’s train then” he ground his body against her, and Nesta arched into him, desperate for any contact. “But I promise you, when I’m done, you won’t be able to walk for weeks, and every step you take, you’ll remember me, and not that prick. I’m mark every goddamn inch of you if I have to” he swore, the red hot anger in his eyes making her moan once more as she ground against him.

“No” he snapped and grabbed her waist, he twisted his body taking them to the floor, his arm softening the impact, but suddenly he was caging her body with his legs and arms.

“What are you doing” near breathless, the moves making her dizzy she could think of anything but the huge make above her. She lifted her hips, trying to grind against him again.

A predatory smile, and he lifted her again, slamming her against the wall with her legs around his waist, his other hand he used to grip both of hers against the wall above her head.

“Let me remind you” a bite on her neck, and Nesta moaned.

“You are mine” a kiss so punishing Nesta gasped for breath, her chest heaving against his.

“Say it” he ground against her neck, marking her.

“I’m yours” she moaned, and bit his ear, he hissed.

“I’m yours, and you’re mine” she licked at his neck, tasting the sweat and salt.

He bit her lip, she yanked her head backwards, tasting her own blood. He pulled on her hair, she bit him neck once more.

“I’m yours” he growled. “I’m yours and you’re mine”. Claiming her in another kiss.

“Ow” Gwyn muttered, looking down at her leg and scowling.

She closed her eyes, leaning her weight against the kitchen table, taking deep breaths.

“Gwyn?” Came the voice of the shadowsinger.

Gwyn open end her eyes, trying to stand up straighter against the table without putting any more weight on her leg.

Azriel noticed this, and walked to her much faster.

“What happened?” His tone was ice cold. Hard. Gwyn almost faltered, this wasn’t the warm trainer she had come to know, the one she had teased and joked with.

This was the shadowsinger, feared across the seven courts.

“What happened Gwyn” he repeated, locking eyes with her, concern and anger pooling in his eyes, his posture rigid, shadows swirling.

She tried to stand up straighter, “Ow!” Her injured leg buckled, and before she could collapse, Azriel grabbed her waist steadying her. Gwyn grabbed onto his shoulders, feeling the corded muscle underneath.

“My leg” she admitted at last, looking down and wincing, momentarily distracted by how close he was, how warm and powerful his body felt, and the scent of crisp air that surrounded her now.

“I was gone three days.” His jaw tensed, as if he believed he was to blame for her injury.

Gwyn was struck speechless, the anger radiating off of him, she could feel his siphons readying their power.

“It’s not as bad as it seems, honestly. I’ll be fine, you can go.” She shook her head, knowing he had to report to the Rhysand about his mission.

“If you think I’m going to leave you here like this” a hard look passed his face, and the hands holding her waist gripped her slightly tighter.

“Gwyn, tell me what happened.” He leaned in slightly, and his wide frame was suddenly all she could see, blocking out everything else.

“I was practicing a new move, where I throw the blade and catch it” she explained sheepishly.

“Go on...” ever so slightly, the corners of his mouth quivered, as if he could picture how terribly the move had gone for her.

She scowled at him, his lips quivered slightly more.

“And I failed miserably, and the knife may have cut me a little” his eyes slowly fell back to her leg, and Gwyn heated, as if Azriel was looking through her robe to the bare flesh.

“It doesn’t help that I stumbled today in the library and hit my leg into a corner.” she added with a wince, watching Azriel snap his gaze back to her and scowl.

“Yes yes I shouldn’t have been working today and I should have let it heal” she cut him off, indeed, Azriel snapped his mouth shut.

After a moment, as a shadow tickled her cheek, Gwyn became aware once more of the strong hands holding her, the warmth spreading from the spot they touched, and the ease that he held her with reminded Gwyn of the strength in his arms.

“I’m guessing your cut has reopened” he spoke at least, their chests so close.

She began to shake her head and refuse.

“Gwyn, let me help you” he added firmly, whispering into the small space between them. Her eyes came to his chest, and she had to tilt her head up slightly to look at him.

She nodded , and smoothly, Azriel lifted her onto the table.

“May I?” He asked , pointing to her leg, and Gwyn nodded, swallowing once as he slowly lifted the fabric, exposing her skin.

She inhaled sharply, seeing the blood on the bandage, and looked up to see cold fury in Azriel’s face.

With deft hands, Azriel unbandaged her leg, his scowl deepened as he looked at the wound.

“Just a cut huh?” He raised an eyebrow at her, daring her to lie to him again.

“It is just a cut” she retorted stubbornly.

“Just a very deep cut” she added as she watched the blood trickle down her leg.

She whimpered slightly as Azriel applied an anti-septic salve.

“Sorry” he whispered, leaning slightly closer to her.

“I’m going to need to stitch it up a little. I can call for a healer-“

“No! Please. I don’t want anyone else to know” she blushed, imagining all the fuss everyone would make.

Azriel nodded knowingly.

She watched as he grabbed a needle and thread.

With skilled hands, he began to stitch her up.

Gwyn whimpered once more, leaning forward, her head resting on Azriel’s shoulder.

“Almost done” he whispered against her ear, his hair tickling her cheek.

Gwyn closed her eyes, trying to lose herself in the warmth of Azriel’s body.

“Done” he said at last. Smoothing a fresh bandage on top, his hand searing her skin.

“Thank you” Gwyn said at last, reluctantly lifting her head from his chest, finding her face inches from his.

She watched as Azriel swallowed.

“I’m sorry” the shadowsinger said at last, and Gwyn’s eyes filled with confusion.

“I should have been there. I should have helped you with the move. I should have been there to stop you being hurt. And I should have had you stitched up properly.”

He scowled and shook his head. Gwyn’s heart beat faster, realising Azriel’s guilt and anger wasn’t directed at her, but at himself for not protecting her.

“That’s ridiculous Az, none of that is your fault”.

“I should have been there” Gwyn felt his eyes scans cross her face, across every pane and shadow.

“Promise me no more moves if I’m not there” he gripped her with a stare, holding her gaze.

Gwyn was speechless for a moment, so unaccustomed to such fierce protectiveness.

“I’m not going to wake you up in the middle of the night because I feel like throwing a blade around” she teased, trying to bring some lightness.

“Yes you will” he all but snarled, pressing his body into hers.

“Promise me Gwyn. No matter what time, what it is I’m doing. If you want to train, you come to me. I’ll drop everything for you”.

Gwyn exhaled deeply, her chest coming into contact with his.

“I promise” she whispered.

“You have a penchance for saving me” she added lightly, remembering the cloak he had given her.

“That was my favourite cloak” he added a smile playing in his lips, his hands resting on the table either side of her.

“Do you want it back?” She teased, tilting her head up to look at him.

“I’ll train you, and one day I’ll spar you for it”. He grinned, his hands going to her waist as he picked her up and helped her stand on the floor.

“Az?” She asked, hands on his forearm.

He looked down at her with a smile.

“Thank you for stitching me up”

“Anytime Gwyn, he said, slowly letting her go and walking away.

Rhys stared up at the night sky. He had been up here for a while already, but after 50 years under a mountain, this view would never tire him.

“There he is” came his mates voice, he turned his head slightly, seeing her standing in the doorway, holding Nyx in her arms.

He inhaled once , taking in the smell of the two of them.

In his dark moments, he remembered how tight his lungs had felt, suffocating in that stagnant air for all those years. As an Illyrian and High Lord of the Night Court, that air had been torture unto itself.

“Say hi dada” Feyre cooed to Nyx, waving her hand and pointing at Rhys.

Nyx babbles and flung his hands up, bouncing.

“Why did you disappear” Feyre asked, coming to stand at her mates side.

Rhys swallowed and smiled down at Nyx.

“I needed a minute”. Sat amongst his family, listening to them laugh and tease, the scent of his mate wrapped around him, it had all been too much.

For 50 years he had been alone, clinging to the faces of his family. Sat surrounded by them today, he needed to remind himself that this was real.

“Rhys?”

“I needed some air” he looked into her eyes as Nyx wrapped his small first around his fathers finger, babbling animatedly.

Thought for a thought. Came her voice in his head.

He gave a small laugh, blowing a raspberry onto Nyx cheek, to his sons utter delight.

I came out here to remind myself this isnt a dream. That I’m really in a room full of people i love. That I’m not still under that mountain.

Tears brimmed in Feyre’s eyes, and Rhys kissed her temple.

Nyx squeeled and Rhys gave a small laugh.

“Oh I could never forget about you mister” he grinned, grabbing Nyx and holding him above his head, grinning wider as Nyx continued to laugh and squeal.

Feyre pressed into his side, wrapping her hands around his waist.

“Rhys” Feyre’s voice was hoarse, tears still lining her eyes.

I came out here to remind himself that you’re all real. That I’m free. That I was sat with my mate by my side and my beautiful baby boy in my arms.

“I have an idea” she whispered, stroking Nyx’s hair as Rhys cuddled him into his chest.

Rhys felt the wind shift, his eyes widened as he saw Feyre’s wings appear.

“You once told me about you and your mother flying togther, I thinks it’s time we carry on that tradition” she swallowed, clearing her head of tears.

Her smile softened, as she watched tears brim Rhys’s eyes too. She took a step, and hovered in the air.

Rhys exhaled a breath. I love you Feyre darling.

“Here we go Nyx” he looked into his sons eyes, as he took off into the air.

He tightened his arms around Nyx, feeling his heart warm as Nyx bounced, his laughter helping looses the tight fist around his heart.

“Look, look at mama!” Rhys pointed to a Feyre, and for a moment his breathe caught. Against the backdrop of velaris, shining in the stars and moonlight, she looked like an angel. His angel.

“Hi baby!” Feyre called out, and they both glided across Velaris, swooping and dropping to Nyx’s endless amusement.

Nyx’s own wings twitched, as if his very blood called out for him to fly too.

They soared across velaris, dropping low and letting the water of the rainbow spray Nyx, his little legs kicking in utter glee.

“Look at the lights Nyx” Feyre spoke softly, Nyx jumped animatedly, seeing the lights sparkle and glimmer, his random babble so animated, looking into his fathers eyes as if to ensure he saw it all too.

“Come here Feyre” Rhys called, and his mate hovered in front of him, wrapping her arms around Rhys neck, Nyx nestled between the two of them.

Rhys pressed a kiss to Nyx’s neck, and then kissed Feyre too.

“If I could exist in a single moment forever, it would be this one right here” he inhaled the scent of Nyx’s hair, the baby so bouncy and happy both parents couldn’t help but smile at him.

“If I had to trade all my powers for it, for the ability to live like this, I would, without hesitation”.

“The two of you” another kiss to Nyx’s head, and two to kiss away the tears on Feyre’s cheeks “the two of you are the reason my heart still beats”. He swore solemnly, hoping his mate understood how she was his entire life.

You owe me a thought Feyre darling .

I’m thinking, that I’d give up my powers in a heartbeat to make you see what I see. To make you realise how lucky me and nyx and the rest of our family are to have you.

Nyx let out a garbled cry, so Rhys, tightening his hold on Nyx and banked suddenly to the side, making his son laugh.

Nyx looked so happy in that moment, the laugh that erupted from him so pure that Rhys vowed he would do everything in his power to ensure his son always had that look on his face.

Some time later, after they had circled Verlaris a few dozen times, Feyre mused “I think it’s time we got him home” watching Nyx’s eyes droop as he snuggled into Rhys’s chest.

Rhys stroked Nyx’s cheek “Let’s go home” he agreed.

“Walk me through the plan one more time” Rhys said firmly, eyes focused on Cassian.

Cassian rolled his eyes in response

“We have this Rhys, every plan, every contingency, nothing can go wrong. We’ve got this”

Rhys shook his head. “That’s not enough, there a hundred ways this could go wrong and-“

“And we’re prepared, we can handle this” Azriel said solidly, shadows swirling around.

“Rhys” Cassian whispered. “Trust us”

“Are you guys ready” came Feyre’s soft voice from the door, laced with concern and worry.

“Honestly, your two’s lack of faith in us is offensive” Cassian rolled his eyes.

The high lord and lady let out a slow laugh.

“The minute things go south, the second it’s gets too much-”

“For the love of god! We have handled worse! We’ve got this! Stop. Worrying” Cassian exclaimed.

Rhys and feyre looked at each other, talking through the bond, and at last nodded their heads.

Wordlessly, Rhys winnowed the three of them, and disappeared once more before they’d even landed.

“I don’t see what all the fuss is about, how hard can this be” Cassian mused.

Azriel snorted in agreement looking at his surroundings.

A cry pierced the air, loud, grating and making the two brothers wince. Fear suddenly sparkling in both their eyes.

“Shit” Azriel whispered, shadows skittering.

“Shit” Cassian agreed, gulping loudly.

Both illyrians looked down at a crying Nyx.

•••

“He won’t stop” Cassian cried. His legs and arm were almost numb, bouncing a wailing nyx in his arms, walking back and forth in a dizzying circle.

“Maybe he’s hungry” the shadowsinger scrambled, clutching at a purée of baby food that made him gag.

“We fed him an hour ago!” Cassian whispered angrily, narrowly avoiding Nyx’s fist to his face.

He growled at the baby, his patience long gone.

“Yes but he threw up on ME 45 minutes ago” Azriel responded, eyes wide as he looked down and winced at the throw up on his leathers. He gagged again.

Nyx wailed even louder, and Cassian jerked his head away from the noise.

“Cauldron” Cassian muttered, handling Nyx to a panicked Az.

“No! What! why? I-what?” Azriels shadows swirled and swirled, some skittering back and disappearing completely. His wings opened up, a fight response.

“Cassian. Get back here!”

Cassian came to stand behind Azriel, rattling multiple toys in the baby’s face!

“Ahhhh peekaboo!! Ahhh peekaboo!!” Bopping his large body up and down, he began rattling the toys wildly above his head.

“Look at this Nyx-y! Look at the toy!” His voice so high pitched that his throat began to hurt, Cassian prayed that Nyx would settle for a moment.

Both illyrians shifted, noting the scent in the air.

“Cass” Azriel whispered, his voice holding a deadly fear.

“We have to change him, all the stuff we need is-”Azriel shook his head, horror shining in his eyes.

“Cassian”

“Yeah I’m grabbing-“

“Cassian!” Azriels voice now erratic and panicked

“Cassian, my hand is wet.” Azriel slowly lifted his hand up. “Cassian, this baby just-” Azriel gagged, looking at his hand “ON ME”

“Mother’s tits” Cassian swore, grabbing nyx and lying him down. Opening Nyx’s nappy cloth, he gagged, going to the toilet bowl and retching.

“It’s green” Azriel, who had tortured countless without balking, looked mortified. “Why is it green!? Why is there so much! He’s tiny. It’s still on my hand!”

“Hurry up and change him before he shits on us” Cassian growled, his hands scrambling for the cloth and water.

“He can’t have anything left in him after this. It’s all on my-”

“On your hand yes I heard you the fifth time” Cassian snapped, deft hands changing the cloth.

“This is disgusting, I’m never having kids. I’ll sacrifice sex if I have to” Cassian vowed.

“Ow!” Azriel swore, “he kicked me” he muttered, scowling down at Nyx still wailing, his limbs kicking out at everything.

“Get some rope, I’m tying him up” Azriel said seriously, gritting his teeth as Nyx landed another blow.

Cassian shook him head.

“We discussed this. We can’t tie him up, regardless of how many times he kicks us”

“No, we discussed the fact that Feyre would fry our balls off and let her water wolves eat them if she came home to find her son tied up. Considering how many well placed punches Nyx here has gotten in, I officially think we should reconsider the plan again” Azriel nodded towards a pile of rope in the corner

“Where did you get the rope from!” Cassian exclaimed, and then shook his head. Deciding to ignore the Azriel instead. “We’ve tried feeding him, and changing him, why is he still crying”

Nyx let out another wail, so loud the brothers began to fear he’d hurt himself.

“I don’t think Rhys needs me anymore. Give any prisoner in the hewn city Nyx for an hour and the night court will never have another enemy again” Azriel mused, his voice gruff.

Nyx’s wail turned into a screech and Cassian grunted at the foot that landed on him.

“How long till they come back?” He asked through gritted teeth, looking back toward the rope.

A pause.

“Azriel, how long”

“Four” Azriel whispered “four more hours”

“Shit”

“Shit”

•••

Feyre and Rhys slowly opened the front door of the river house.

“It’s awfully quiet in here” Feyre mused, noting the silence. “Maybe we were wrong to think they couldn’t handle this”

“Come on, let’s go kiss him goodnight before we go to bed” Rhys grabbed Feyre’s hand and led the way.

“Tired already?” Feyre quipped.

I want to make sure Nyx is fast asleep. He can’t hear all the depraved things I’m going to do to his mother.

Feyre’s toes curled in her boots, her blood heating at the promise in his words.

Lead the way then High lord. Feyre purred.

In the nursery, the two came to an abrupt stop.

The room was a mess. Toys littered the floor, covering every inch of space in the large room.

Smudges of orange and green baby food was splattered on the walls and floor, alongside puddles of spilt milk.

“What the fu-“ Rhys spluttered

“Rhys” Feyre whispered back, her voice lined with laughter.

On the floor, under piles of cloths and toys, curled up, lay a sleeping Cassian and Azriel. Their hair and faces covered in food and milk too. Azriel muttered “green” in his sleep, his wings twitching slightly.

“Is that?” Feyre questioned, looking towards the white splodges on Azriels leathers

“I think our son threw up on Az” Rhys snickered.

“He’s nothing if not ambitious, he landed some on Cass too” he nodded towards Cassian, his leathers too covered.

A soft gurgle, and the high lord and lady turned their attention the the small space in between where the two brothers slept.

Covered protectively by both the brothers wings, lay a gurgling and smiling Nyx.

“Hello son” Rhys whispered smiling, his eyes alight with warmth.

Both parents continued to coo over the baby, who slightly moved his arms and legs as if reaching up to his parents.

Rhys. Feyre called down the bond, as she picked up Nyx and kissed him.

Rhys laughed, seeing what caught Feyre’s attention.

“Where is he” Nesta screamed, walking straight into the main room of the river house

She looked around frantically, hoping she’d see him standing there, his usual arrogant stupid smirk on his face.

Feyre stood up, concern and worry etched deep into her features

“Rhys is there right now, he’ll find him. He’s- he’s trying to-”

“Where is he!” Nesta couldn’t breathe, her chest heaving, she felt panicked.

“He said.. this wasn’t supposed to be..he said he’d be fine” her legs began to shake, she closed her yes, blocking out the memory of her and cassian in bed the night before, his light kisses and hands probing, assuring her he would be fine, dismissing any ideas that today’s mission would be dangerous.

“I can’t breathe” she chocked, feeling everything closing in, her head, her heart.

Please be okay. Please come back to me. Please. I can’t survive without you. Please

She tasted salt, unsure when she had began to cry. She sat on the floor, tears falling.

“Nesta..” her sister came to her but Nesta put her hand out, not wanting anyone to touch her.

“We haven’t had any time. I can’t- I can’t lose him. He has to come back” she whispered, her throat dry, she was pleading with the universe.

Feyre nodded her head, if anyone understood, it was her. “He’ll be okay Nesta” she stood.

Nesta shook her head and closed her eyes. She kept imagining Cassian, bleeding, broken, dying.

“He has to come back” she struggled to breathe, seeing her mate unmoving in her head, his chest still.

She began to rock slightly. Repeating the words like a mantra, praying to the mother, the cauldron and anyone who would listen. “He has to come back”

“Nes..” the scent of sweat and home and blood engulfed her

Nesta snapped her head to the side.

Cassian was covered in cuts and bruises, Feyre already standing above him, healing a large gash on his side

“You’re okay” she stumbled to her feet, her hands grabbed his body, touching any part of him, making sure he was real

“You’re here” her eyes filled with tears.

His strong arms came around her, shrugging off Feyre the minute she’d healed him. He inhaled once deeply.

Nesta burrowed her face into his chest, hands gripping his leathers,

“It’s okay Nes, I’m here. Right here” he began stroking her hair, Nesta listened to his voice, sinking into the warmth of his chest, unable to stop shaking.

“You’re here” she sobbed.

They stood slowly, Cassian wincing slightly.

Nesta cried out as he let go momentarily, and he immedielty took her back into his arms. Nesta refused to let there be even an inch of space between their bodies, her hands finding any part of his chest and arms to hold and stroke as they made their way upstairs.

She began to shake again

“I’m okay Nesta. I’m right here.” She closed her eyes and stood on her tiptoes, burrowing her face into his neck.

She inhaled, tasting his skin.

“I thought you were dead. You can’t- you can’t ever leave me” She’d scoffed when she had first heard of Feyre and Rhys’s death pact, but now she understood. Never again did she want to feel like she was in a world without him.

“Let’s go to bed, I’m not going anywhere”

She curled into him,resting on his bare chest and stroking his arm, huge compared to her hand. Cassian closed his eyes. His thumb tracing small circles on Nesta’s skin.

“You can’t do that to me again” her voice sounded strained, and she looked into Cassians eyes.

“Nesta, I’m okay. Nothing happened. Me and Az lost contact for a second, next time-“

“You don’t get to have a next time! You don’t get to go and almost die and leave. You don’t get to leave me.” Her voice was hoarse, near shouting in panic.

He swallowed once, tightening his arms around her

“It’s my job to-“

“No. No that’s not your job. Your job is to stay with Me. Always. forever.” Anger laced her voice, anger that he would sacrifice himself, knowing that’s what he had always done. What he would always do. Her mate had never balked at death, always willing to put himself in the firing line for others. For her.

“Promise me. You have to come back. You have to. Promise me that you always fight. That you always come back. Promise it!” Her heart began best rapidly, she shoved at his chest, hating how vulnerable she felt.

“Shhhhh” Cassian kissed her once, slow and deep, his huge hand covering half of Nesta’s face.

“I would face down every enemy, every Hybern and attor and every other goddamn beast the cauldron could throw at me. I’d shred my wings every day to get back to you Nesta. I promise you that”

Nesta release a ragged breath, remembering that day in the battlefield with Hybern.

“I will always come back to you. I’ll fight death itself to get back to you Nesta. Always. forever. Until the end of time.”he pushed their bodies together, his wings coming around to cocoon them both.

They stayed in each other’s arms, no words, just listening to each other’s heartbeats, small strokes and touches and kisses at any part of their skin they could reach.

“You’re mine” she whispered. “In this life and the next” she recalled his promise, his declaration of love before she even knew what it meant that day on the battlefield. She lifted her head and kissed him

Guilt because he had an arrow in his chest, that prevented the IC from stopping Hybern throwing her into the cauldron. It’s the same guilt he feels around Mor. His failure at finding Mor earlier is why she was left alone for so long brutalised outside the autumn court.

It was a cheap trick for shock factor that had no real consequences, and it diluted/negated everything that happened in acosf.

Rhys= Passionate

Cassian= Rough

Azriel= Kinky

As Azriel walked into the training room, he was shocked to see Gwyn standing at the window. Her head snapped to him.

Her eyes widened as they took him in, her mouth parting.

He cursed himself. He did not want anyone to see him. Especially like this.

“What- what happened. How-“ she took a step towards him, and his shadows danced out to meet her.

His mission today had been... violent. His wounds still healing, his skin so sensitive he had foregon a shirt.

Gwyn swallowed.

“It’s fine.” A whisper, and he watched her mark every wound on his skin.

“I can help-” she took another step forward.

“I’ll be fine by myself- it’ll be healed by morning” a clear lie, and he winced as he lifted his arm.

“That’s not- you aren’t okay- what, how did this.. ?” Her words were fumbling as she came to stand in front of him.

“It’s fine. I’ll be fine. Stop worrying about me” his shadows swirled, and Azriel shifted under the attention of her bright eyes.

“Stop being stubborn. Let me bandage them up” he shook his head, unused to all the fussing.

As if the house was listening, a hamper of bandages and ointment appeared.

“See! Even the house thinks you need help” she grinned in victory. Azriel looked at her, seeing the stubbornness in her eyes.

He nodded his head, resigned. She smiled smugly.

He squinted at her.

“Only because the house will lock me out if I refuse”

“Whatever you say” she rolled her eyes, grinning. She grabbed a cloth and bowl of water, coming to stand right in front of him, nodding her head in the direction of the settee.

He stared blankly back. A silent challenge, to see who would fold first. He was being stubborn on principle, he knew.

She rolled her eyes.

“You have to sit. You’re too tall and I can’t reach” she shook her head slightly, finding his antics amusing.

“Liar”

She scoffed “ excuse me”

“I trained you” he gave her a pointed stare. “You have better balance than almost anyone. You can tiptoe just fine”

“You’re too big for me” he smiled at the blush that formed in her cheeks, he raised his eyebrows.

“You are too TALL for me” she amended. Azriel noted the way she scanned the breadth of his shoulders, her blush deeping. He smiled wider.

“I can’t tiptoe and hold a bowl and treat you. So sit” she grabbed his arms then. Her hand barely wrapping around the front of the bicep.

Azriel tensed his muscles slightly. Liking the way her pale hand contrasted his skin, how warm the point where they touched felt.

He was awarded by her intake of breath.

Gwyn swallowed once and pushed him backwards, he relented, letting himself be moved.

Sitting down, he stared up at her as she stood in front of his widened legs.

She leaned in close, his shadows dancing out to meet her.

“Tell your shadows to stop distracting me” she laughed.

“They’re stubborn and won’t listen. Like someone else I know” a pointed glance at her. She squinted at him, but did not halt her movements.

Azriel closed his eyes as she bought the cloth to him, her other hand coming to rest gently on his shoulder. The movement soothing, and he lamented reluctantly, felt good.

“What happened” her gaze stayed on the cloth, but Azriel looked at her.

“Nothing to worry about. Nothing that requires all this fuss”

“You deserve to be fussed over. And this isn’t nothing”

She sat beside him, and began to clean and wipe the cuts and bruises on his side.

“Just a mission that went a bit wrong” he said bitterly, angry at himself. “It’s my fault”

She scoffed and shook her head

“Is something wrong?” He bristled, hating seeing her mood change from the laughter mere moments ago

She bit her lip, and tensed her jaw, but said nothing. Angry, Az realised. She was angry.

The air had shifted, tense, around them as she continued to wipe his chest.

A shadow danced out to her, dancing and wrapping around her until the corner of Gwyn’s mouth lifted.

“I think it’s ridiculous. I think you’re ridiculous. I think you set these ridiculous standards for yourself, and you almost kill yourself in the process trying to reach them”

Azriel looked at her, shocked at how much of him she had observed.

“You don’t even realise.” She carried on, but stood up “How-how much everything you do means to everyone. How much you mean to everyone”

“That’s not..” Azriel fumbled. Looking down to Gwyn’s hand on his chest, above his heart.

“You seem to think no one would care. That you’re dispensable, and that it’s okay if you die. It’s not”

Her eyes were wide, her chest heaving as she spoke, they were so close, their lips inches apart.

Azriel stood slowly, his wings coming out slightly, wrapping slightly around Gwyn’s shaking form.

“ You saved me.” Her hand still on his chest, she refused to meet his gaze. “That day, you saved me, and if you hadn’t.” She swallowed, slowly raising her chin to meet his gaze.

“You matter, Azriel. And not just then. Here in this room” she gestured around. “You help us all”

They stared at each other, Azriel, unable to to form a sentence, his mind reeling at her words. His wings still wrapped slightly around them, they both seemed content to stand there.

“So” she broke the spell at last, turning slightly to grab a salve from the basket.

“Next time you do something dangerous and reckless and almost kill yourself”

With gentle filters, she applied the salve to the cut on his chest, Azriel followed the movement with his eyes.

“Try to remember that you’re not dispensable. And at the very least, let someone bandage you up” she finshed with the salve, and grabbed a bandage, wrapping it across his chest.

“ It’s a deal” Azriel whispered into the strip of space between them, Gwyn’s head looking up to him

“The next time I almost accidentally almost kill myself” he gave a small smile, to which Gwyn returned

“ I’ll come to you, and let you bandage me up”

“Without being so stubborn” she quipped, raising an eyebrow

Azriel gave a small laugh and nodded

“Without being so stubborn” he agreed.

“Deal” she said, dropping her hand from his chest at last and turning to walk away.

“Gwyn” Azriel called out, she turned to him. “ thank you, for the fussing”

“Get used to it” she said softy, eyes bright and warm, and turned once more to leave.

Azriel watched her go, as one of his shadows trailed after her, assured when it informed him she’d reached her room.

He looked down at his chest, remembering how warm she had felt, how insistent she had been at making sure he was okay.

Tamlin: When you fuck her, have you ever noticed that little noise she makes right before she climaxes?

Rhys= Nerd

Cassian=Jock

Azriel=Goth

Feyre has such big dick energy.

When human feyre was taken under the mountain her first thought when she saw amarantha was “huh she’s not that pretty”