MOVINGBACKWARD

Connor and I have been talking about the GoT/Song of Ice and Fire conundrum tonight (I hold what seems to be a somewhat unpopular opinion that the show is going to ruin a lot of the book series’ pleasures), and I think I’ve landed on what’s really bothering me: the books simply aren’t good enough to come out as strong when plot/character developments are revealed first in the show. To me, Martin’s strengths are exactly those two things, and the tension inherent in rotating the pov in each chapter lessens if you’re not eager to catch up to a character because you already know what’s going to happen to them, which is a more relaxed reading experience than I want from Martin’s tomes. I want some payoff for slogging through his descriptions sometimes and paying time to characters I’m less invested in. The books in this series aren’t exactly ones to luxuriate in. I already feel like I’ve ruined the series for myself by reading the books and watching the show almost concurrently. I wouldn’t be so bothered if it seemed like there was going to be a significant time gap between the next book in the series and the next season of the show, but if the rumors are true, there isn’t going to be. Connor’s going to watch the show, and I’m going to hold off for the book and probably feel a bit resentful about it.

I'm starting to miss school.

brought home some "old" caramel from work and failed cake to make salted caramel ice cream w/ chocolate cake chunks (going off of this minimalist baker recipe). everything is cooling now, but i need it to be 9 o'clock already. i used half cashews, half coconut milk this time (trying the so delicious "culinary" one & am hoping it makes a nice texture) as well as half sugar, half maple syrup. i think i'm going to cube the cake this time instead of using crumbles. 

I want to escape self-pity. I'm making greater allowances, trying to let people scream and grieve and fight while swallowing myself. I've flown so high in this storm cloud that I've lost sight, but I can almost taste the rain washing old parts of me. If I practice taking care of people, one day I may be prepared to take care of myself.