ʳᵉᵍᵃʳᵈˡᵉˢˢ   ᵒᶠ   the   two   of   them   sitting   and   holding   each   other’s   hand   –   fingers   intertwined   ,   palms   pressed   TOGETHER   ,   warmth   grown   between   them   ,   thumb   brushing   over   the   back   of   her   hand   softly   ...   –   regardless   of   all   of   that   ,   her   words   came   as   a   surprise   to   him   .   too   deep   sat   the   memory   or   ʳᵉʲᵉᶜᵗᶤᵒᶰ   .   the   plumpness   with   which   she’d   told   him   no   .   the   words   she   had   found   to   reason   with   him   .   he’d   NEVER   believed   a   single   one   ,   becky   in   his   eyes   always   the   one   .   ᵇᶤᵗᵗᵉʳ   ᵖᶤˡˡ   to   swallow   to   realize   that   things   had   been   different   for   her   .   that   years   and   decades   he   had   seen   something   ,   felt   something   ,   that   just   wasn’t   there   .   time   wasted   .   or   not   .   not   because   she   was   still   so   IMPORTANT   to   him   .   rejection   hadn’t   changed   that   ,   ᶰᵉᵛᵉʳ   ʷᵒᵘˡᵈ   .   she   held   that   special   place   in   his   heart   ,   was   at   home   right   there   .   the   whole   thing   might   as   well   belong   to   her   .   surprise   igniting   it   ,   giving   it   a   KICK   START   ,   causing   it   to   jump   however   ,   consciousness   has   build   up   walls   .   high   and   ready   to   protect   the   ᶠʳᵃᵍᶤˡᵉ   ᵖᵃʳᵗ   of   his   soul   .   

captain   quiet   for   a   moment   .   looking   at   their   hands   .   his   so   much   larger   than   hers   .   rough   .   a   ᶠᵉʷ   ˢᶜᵃʳˢ   visible   .   completely   in   contrast   to   hers   .   SOFT   SKIN   .   gentle   .   the   hand   of   a   lover   where   his   always   just   seemed   clumsy   next   to   her   .   he   wants   to   look   her   in   the   eye   but   when   steve   makes   an   attempt   ,   he   gets   nervous   .   so   gaze   REMAINS   focussed   on   where   they   are   ᵗᵒᵘᶜʰᶤᶰᵍ   .   “   what   made   you   ᶜʰᵃᶰᵍᵉ   ʸᵒᵘʳ   ᵐᶤᶰᵈ   ?   “   and   that   ,   truly   ,   all   that   he   wants   to   know   now   .   the   only   question   left   to   answer   because   regardless   of   high   guards   ,   regardless   of   the   set   back   ,   of   the   small   moment   of   HEARTBREAK   –   fck   all   of   that   .   if   becky   was   willing   to   give   him   a   chance   ,   captain   wouldn’t   mess   it   up   .   if   their   love   finally   got   an   opportunity   to   grow   ,   ʰᵉ   ʷᵒᵘˡᵈ   grab   it   .

gloved   fingers   ADJUSTING   the   velcro   on   the   other   wrist   to   tighten   fabric   around   it   .   eyebrow   dances   up   slightly   when   he   glances   over   to   the   younger   man   .   “   ᵈᵒ   ᵃᶰʸᵗʰᶤᶰᵍ   ?   “   short   pause   ,   thoughts   working   however   ...   “   what   did   you   think   we   were   going   to   be   doing   ?   “   steve   ʷᵃˢᶰ’ᵗ   ˢᵘʳᵉ   what   pietro   was   HINTING   at   though   ,   hands   sink   back   to   the   side   and   instead   ,   palm   meets   his   shoulder   to   give   it   an   encouraging   squeeze   .   questioning   eyes   find   those   of   him   ,   ᶰᵒᵗ   ʷᶤˡˡᶤᶰᵍ   to   ACCEPT   a   half-hearted   answer   .   

“   ʸᵒᵘ   ˢᵘʳᵉ   ?   i   can   train   without   ,   it’s   fine   .   “   though   steve   had   to   admit   that   he   felt   a   wave   of   excitement   when   archie   offered   him   one   of   his   ear   pods   .   the   gym   radio   would   SOMEHOW   have   brought   him   through   the   workout   for   sure   and   he’d   have   turned   down   the   offer   from   anyone   else   .   ʷᶤᵗʰ   ʰᶤᵐ   though   ...   he   felt   that   feeling   again   .   the   one   he   liked   to   pretend   wasn’t   there   .   THE   ONE   he   didn’t   want   to   give   more   room   until   he   wasn’t   sure   whether   archie   felt   the   same   .   he   could   ᶠᵉᵉˡ   ᵗʰᵉ   ˢᵃᵐᵉ   ,   right   ?   steve   wanted   to   think   he   stood   a   chance   .   wanted   to   believe   that   each   time   fingers   lingered   on   muscle   of   the   other   when   correcting   posture   ,   that   it   meant   SOMETHING   .   he   hoped   it   did   ...   ᶠᵒʳ   ᶰᵒʷ   ᵗʰᵒᵘᵍʰ   ,   honest   smile   on   his   lips   when   he   takes   the   ear   bud   and   presses   it   into   the   shell   of   his   ear   .   sharing   music   like   this   feels   so   ᶤᶰᵗᶤᵐᵃᵗᵉ   ,   like   their   own   little   secret   .   steve   ready   to   dive   into   archie’s   world   and   yet   ...   tried   to   play   it   off   as   cool   as   POSSIBLE   .   didn’t   want   to   appear   too   eager   ,   too   enthusiastic   and   then   run   danger   of   ᵗᵘʳᶰᶤᶰᵍ   ʰᶤᵐ   ᵒᶠᶠ   .   “   thanks   ...   what   are   we   listening   to   ?   “

both   hands   pushed   into   the   pockets   of   jeans   .   casually   dressed   with   the   hopes   of   not   getting   ʳᵉᶜᵒᵍᶰᶤᶻᵉᵈ   ,   base   cap   sitting   on   his   head   ,   pulled   down   low   to   throw   shade   on   his   eyes   .   not   to   be   seen   .   not   seeing   ANYONE   .   not   until   he   was   here   .   here   ,   where   he   didn’t   belong   ,   where   he   shouldn’t   have   come   .   wells   had   every   right   to   ask   ,   to   be   surprised   .   if   it   was   ᵗʰᵉ   ᵒᵗʰᵉʳ   ʷᵃʸ   around   he   would   have   reacted   the   same   way   .   captain   clears   his   throat   ,   head   tilted   up   .   desperate   attempt   to   see   HIM   even   though   he   knows   that   part   of   his   life   is   over   .   in   the   past   .   jasper   and   he:   ʰᶤˢᵗᵒʳʸ   .   “   i’m   ...   not   entirely   sure   .   “   short   awkward   twitch   of   the   corner   of   his   mouth   .   this   place   isn’t   going   to   give   him   what   he   had   hoped   for   .   “   i   thought   ...   coming   here   would   give   me   the   FINAL   CLOSURE   .   “   self-destructive   in   a   way   –   that   he   had   hoped   to   see   something   that’d   anger   him   enough   to   finally   say   fck   it   and   ᵇᵉ   ᶠʳᵉᵉ   ᵃᵍᵃᶤᶰ   .   now   ,   instead   ,   ex’   best   friend   faced   .   “   my   bad   ,   sorry   .   i   didn’t   come   to   stir   the   pot   .   “   crap   ,   so   easily   making   a   fool   of   himself   .   so   obvious   to   the   fact   that   after   all   these   years   ,   he   still   knows   nothing   about   relationships   .   or   ending   them   .