honestly it’s so crazy how the timeline of things went down

when we met in the winter time i felt like maybe this was our chance again, if i let myself be vulnerable and tell you the truth- maybe you would feel the same way

i finally worked up the courage to tell you how i felt, a books worth of it. at the same time, i was about to be done with trying to find someone on a dating app.

but then i opened up hinge and there he was, the love of my life - he seemed to good to be true but i just had a gut feeling of a good thing

we met and it was everything, he immediately became my every thought.

it had been a week or so, and then you text me. a books worth of how you felt replying to my message. in that moment i cried. it didn’t help i was drunk AF and already wishing to be with him. I remember thinking “why now?”

i sat with that message for a couple days, debating if i should reply. but i didn’t want to do him like i had done to Q. He was different.

Although I had replied in my head, i knew actually replying to you would complicate everything.

so i chose to focus on him and solely him.

sometimes i do wonder what would’ve happened if i replied to your text-where we would be right now..

but at the end of the day, as i’m up sharing this bed with my husband, i’m truly appreciative of the way things came about. although i know i am so blessed to have such an amazing partner as him, i want to thank myself for trusting my gut and focusing on him.

he gives me everything and more, i’ve never felt so connected and in love with a human. he gets me in a way no one ever has and talks to me in a manner where he’s truly trying to understand me.

I knew coming to Mexico with him would open a can of worms of feelings, and it doesn’t help that you show up in my dream multiple times, but here i am thinking about the timeline of things and how things worked out..

I chose him, and i’ll continue to choose him always. He’s my soulmate and he’s the only one I would’ve experienced this moment with.

like it always feel like i can’t have friends unless they’re her friends too

imma still be checked out and be putting min effort