Black Dog

Nicolette nodded slowly. “Okay.” She felt sheepish, unsure of what to say and afraid to say anything at all and risk saying the wrong thing. “Thank you,” was what she resorted to, her posture relaxing and her legs uncrossing to let her feet rest on the floor. “I’m sorry this probably isn’t the night you were planning. It isn’t really mine either. I could get you a drink in the kitchen if you want me to…” She waited for him to answer; that was how she made her ex happy in the past, waiting on him, offering to do anything for him that would keep his anger at bay. “Maybe one to help you forget that you’ll be sleeping on a pink couch?” Her lips twitched into a smile, the woman rubbing the soft, velour fabric beneath her palm. “It’s small, but it’s mine,” Nicolette sighed, referring to her studio apartment. “I came here and I got everything last thing I saw that I wanted. It makes me happy. It was one of the first things that actually made me happy in years. Then I got Janis.” The black cat looked content beside David on the couch, pawing lightly at his lap. “I think she likes you.”

As soon as she asked him to stay he knew what he was going to do. He wouldn’t be sleeping. He was going to sit up on that couch and make sure no one came in or out. He shook his head, “please don’t apologize. I’m glad I could be here.”He shook his head, “No thank you, just some water would be nice though.” He wanted to stay alert, but he didn’t ask for coffee because he didn’t want her to know he wasn’t planning on sleeping. He smiled as she explained the furniture and shrugged slightly, “look I wouldn’t pick this stuff for myself. But, I think its great that you have somethings that yours, and that you love.” He scratched the cats head, “She’s a cute cat. Did you name her after Janis Joplin?”

Nicolette’s gaze shifted to David. What an ass she was, assuming he actually couldn’t relate to what she had gone through. She should have known better after years of trying to get help and no one believing her because of how perfect everything seemed on the outside. You can’t just assume what someone’s life is or isn’t like. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “That’s really terrible.” Yeah, she’d gone through hell with her ex, but she couldn’t imagine her own parents treating her badly. “Do you still think you could stay?”

He pulled his hand back and shook his head. “I din’t tell you to get sympathy. I told you so you know you’re not alone.”He looked back at the cat and then at her and with a small sad smile he nodded. He didn’t like staying at places that weren’t his home. But she asked him to stay, and that’s what he intended to do. He wiggled around a little, and then nodded with a pensive look before looking at her and offering a small smile. “Of course I’ll stay. Its a comfy couch, even it is atrociously pink. “ He shook his head at the last words.

“Yes I am,” Nicolette muttered to herself. Janis squirmed out of her lap and walked across the gap between Nicolette and David to investigate the new guest that had been holding her just moments before. “No you don’t, it’s not like that. I mean, I do want to avoid him.” She sighed, fighting the lump in her throat. “He…he’s just a bad person. I moved to Chicago so he…so he…” Nic had spent the past 5 years of her life trying to live peacefully and bury the horrific memories she had of her life with her ex, or, the lack of her life with her ex. Talking about it with anyone besides the folks in her therapy group or Vienna was rare to the point that it never happened. But here she was with David in her apartment ready to spill her guts. “So he couldn’t hurt me anymore.” Her voice quivered as the words came out, the blonde sniffing and wiping away any tears before they could fall. 

He started to scratch the cats head as the woman talked smiling softly at the cat as she purred at him. But his smile quickly fell as she explained. He swallowed and his brows furrowed a little. He couldn’t understand why anyone would want to hurt her, but he also knew these things never really made sense. “No, I um I do.” He spoke slowly, not wanting to make this about him, but wanting her to know he understood. “My um - my father- he use to hurt me. And my younger brother. So I do - I get it.” It felt strange to say it out loud, he never really went through therapy or told anyone. He just drank, and smoked and tried to numb everything. He looked up at her, hands stilled on the cat before he gently lifted one up and placed it on her knee in a gentle but reassuring squeeze, “I won’t let him hurt you. Not again.” 

“Now chocolates are more my language. I think you probably could convince them. I mean, you are pretty cool.” Jax hummed softly, soon letting out a soft chuckle. “It is fun. The class isn’t hectic and actually very calming. It’s like everyone is free to just write.” Writing was Jax’s favorite thing ever. “So what sort of thing do you like?”

He rolled his eyes and scoffed, he wasn’t ‘cool’. People didn’t think that about him. But who was he to correct the man. He nodded as he talked. “That sounds nice.” He stopped and shrugged his shoulders, “I like to build things. I guess that’s sort of my thing.” He wasn’t that comfortable talking about himself but its something he’s working on.

Nic didn’t know how much time had passed since David had started searching her home. It was sweet of him to take the time to make sure everything was safe there and she was glad for it. He was going above and beyond tonight, something that she’d never expected from a man she barely knew. Music tickled her ear and she looked up to see that he’d put a record on, one of her favorites, and he’d even found her cat. “Oh Janis,” Nicolette sighed, reaching out for the fluffy black cat. She purred when she reached Nic’s arms and settled into her lap, rolling over on her back. “Thank you.” Nicolette didn’t want to look at David, too embarrassed of how she was behaving and the fact that she’d run home like a scared child. Flakes of red nail polish littered the couch cushions, the blonde had been nervously picking off her recent manicure. “I feel so stupid.” Nic picked Janis up and buried her face into the cat’s fur, bright green eyes staring over at the new person in the apartment. “He’s okay Janis. He’s a nice man.” As soon as the words left her mouth she felt her lip quiver, tears beginning to sting her eyes again. “I’m sorry. I…I’m just not used to that.” She drew in a shaky breath. “It’s my ex.”

Janis. Like Joplin? He mused to himself as he filed the information away.  He sat down a little awkwardly on the couch next to her, leaving a gap nig enough to fit another person. He was use to comforting his brother, and if that was the case he would’ve been siding hugging her, but he didn’t want to over step. Instead he clasped his hands and stared at them in his lap. He took her words in and shook his head slowly, “you are not stupid. Your ex?” The question was out before he could stop himself. He didn’t want to pry and he really didn’t need to, this man was clearly an asshole to get this sort of reaction. But he also wanted her to know that he was there if she did want to talk. “I um, I get it. Having people from your past you want to avoid.” 

Nicolette stood to the side and folded her arms, the woman trying to distract herself from the incoming rush of emotions and trauma that was being let loose in her mind. She wouldn’t have realized David had opened up the apartment if it hadn’t been for the kind hand that led her in and flipped the lights on. She should have felt safe when the lock on the door was turned but instead she felt like she was about to come completely unraveled. “What the fuck?!” Nicolette shouted, walking briskly into her living room. “Tonight was supposed to be a good night! Tonight I was supposed to be happy and look…look at me!” She looked up at David, wringing her hands nervously. “What?” He’d asked her something and she’d only just realized. “Okay,” Nic nodded. Already in the center of the room, Nicolette took a seat and pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging them tightly. “Okay…”

Giving a small smile to him as she slowly wrangled the dog, scooping her up into her arms. “Usually she stays close to me, but there’s times where she thinks someone else is more interesting.” A shake of the head, keeping the pup close to her. “She’s two. So kind of still a puppy. She has so much energy, though. I don’t know how that’s possible.”

He nodded a little sad as she took the dog away, “yeah that makes sense though, still a puppy. I wish I had that kind of energy.” He shook his head before saying, “I’m David by the way. It’s nice to meet you and your little friend here.”

Nicolette stayed silent, thinking things over in her head until they reached her building. Should she let him stay? She felt safe enough with David, but what if there was that small chance that he was just as bad? Was it even that small of a chance? The blonde had more doubt in her body that there was a single good man out there than hope that she might meet the one. “Um,” she muttered, unable to come up with an actual answer. When they reached her floor and her apartment door she fumbled with her keys, her vision blurred by the rush to get inside and lock up for the night. “Shit. Shit,” she cursed, tears beginning to burn her eyes the longer she took. “Which is the fucking…” The keys slipped from her fingers and clamored on their way to the floor. “Jesus Christ,” Nicolette groaned, tears beginning to slip from her eyes. What a show she must be, and an embarrassing one at that. “I can’t do this tonight. Tonight was supposed to be a good night.” She felt like she couldn’t catch her breath, hands tangling in her hair in frustration as she struggled to pull in air.

“Hey you’re okay, its okay.” He recognized an oncoming panic attack when he saw one. He wanted to hold her and tell her it would be okay, but he wasn’t sure if touching her would make it worse. So instead he bent down and picked up the keys. He tried one and it didn’t work, so he calmly tried another and got lucky on the second attempt. “Here,” He opened the door and gently grabbed one of the hands in her hair to guide her inside. He felt around on the wall and managed to find a group of light switches, flicking each one off and on until he found the right one. Pink. Everything was very pink, but it suited the girl. “Can I get you anything? Water, a blanket?” He paused for a moment and thought of when he was younger with his brother, “why don’t I check all the windows, make sure they’re locked, close the blinds. and we can sit in the middle of the room. Safe.”

“A free feeling? I mean, I feel that when I box, but definitely scared of the ice,” she gave a small smile to him, nodding. “Um, sure. You’ll need a lot of patience if you want to teach me, I’ll let you know that right now.” Definitely wasn’t one of her positive traits. “Possibly. I mean, I was adopted, so there were times I wondered what life would have been like if I wasn’t adopted, so I guess that’s where my mind goes when I compare things.” Another bad trait. “Yeah. I agree on the adults part, for sure.”

“I can be patient when i want to be. I taught my brother how to skate, I’m sure you can’t be worse then him.” He gave a small chuckle before the smile left his face. “I understand that, I didn’t have the happiest up bringing. My father, he uh, he did a lot of shit. We ended up in the system, I aged out so” He trailed off for a second as he clenched his jaw, he didn’t usually speak about this so openly. “so I get it.” 

“Not bad at all. Soon everyone will be bowing down and giving you flowers.” He joked around, but really, he was grateful for the advice because he really did need some. “I teach a creative writing class. It is a fun class and I get to see creativity come to life.”

“I think I keep trying to do it because it annoys you but I’m not sure yet.” Jordan winked and fished his phone from his pocket, scrolling through tinder as he listened to David rant about wanting Jordan to quit flirting. He set his phone down on the bar and shook his head. “No, if you give in and let me hit on you it’s only gonna get worse.” He assured him with a grin. “I just landed last night and I’m home for another couple of days before I’m taking off for a few flights to Washington and back.” His life was exhausting sometimes with the constant travel but he wouldn’t want to be doing anything else. “What about you, what have you been up to?”

He rolled his eyes and shook his head at the younger man, “well you’re still going to have to keep trying, because i’m not that easy.” He teased before scratching at his beard a little, “not much. I mean the usual. Working. Drinking. Although, and I mean its really nothing. I sort of met someone at a bar.” 

Nicolette stayed silent for the first stretch of the walk, too shaken and too scared to utter a single syllable outside of the bar. She felt even more vulnerable out on the sidewalk, even with David by her side. He felt trustworthy enough, his jacket warm on her shoulders and his thumb on her knuckles doing its best to quietly let her know he was there for her. “Take a right at the light,” Nicolette whispered after what felt like miles of walking. “It’s not much further.” Quickly, Nicolette took her focus off the sidewalk and stole a glance at David. He was an unlikely savior, leaving Nicolette feeling even more guilty for not sticking around that first night and for being so bitter to him when they first spoke. He didn’t have to do this, and to be frank, she didn’t deserve him doing this. “Not much further,” she said, not so much to him, but to reassure herself. 

He walked in silence, hoping that just being there was enough for the moment. He wanted to ask what was going on. What the problem was. But something told him now wasn’t the time or place. It had to be serious to have this affect, but all he good think of was the fact that someone bought her a drink. He turned right at the light just as she had instructed still walking in silence before she said it wasn’t much further. He nodded numbly and finally spoke a simple, “okay.” Following the direction and pace she set. He’d only just met her, but he needed to make sure she was safe, and that she felt safe. He didn’t want to just drop her off at the door and call it a night, but he also didn’t want her to feel pressured at all. “Would you like me to stay?”

Laughing softly, the man nodded his head, “Just get me a pen and i’ll start writing it, okay?” He then added, “He better believe it. You just helped a college professor out. That’s gotta be major points, right?”

He smirked as the man continued his joke and gave a slight lift of his shoulders, “has to be.” He shook his head and gave a dry chuckle. “Not bad for a construction worker.” the self deprecating comment out before he fully realised. He cleared his throat and asked, “so what do you teach professor?”

“Right? There’s a reason why the city loves him more than anyone else.” It was true. At least in her opinion. A small smile formed as he spoke, setting hair behind her ear. “You would never want me to try to skate. I’m not that graceful. I walk like a tip toe just to get near the ice. I’m guessing it would be fun though to do.” She knew the second she would get on the ice, she would fall flat. “It was nice. There were moments where I wondered if we had a life outside of being at the arena, but I can’t complain. And it led me to the job I’m in. Pains me sometimes to work with the Blackhawks, but at least they are good guys. Kind of like a bunch of annoying brothers.”