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@nicblanchet
The main thing you can change is how you perceive yourself. Stop looking in the mirror and realize that you’re living for yourself, not other people.

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If you see the wonder of a fairy tale, You can take the future even if you fail.
i have a dream, ABBA
thedavidreyes·:
A frown crossed his face as he took in her words. “I’m sorry your birthday was such a bad experience.” A blush spread over his face as she made a comment about him spoiling Janis. “I know, I know. I just want her to be comfortable here. I want you both to be comfortable here.” He smiled and shook his head, “of course I don’t mind princess. I’ve got my stuff set up on the dining table so I’m good to fix it.” He started walking towards the table before he turned his head over his shoulder and called out, “actually can you grab my guitar? It might help with tuning. Its on the right hand of my closet in a black case.”
“I had a few that way,” Nicolette admitted. “But it’s okay. They’ve been better since I’ve been in Chicago. They feel a little different, and I appreciate celebrating in different ways now. I don’t need parties or anything like that. Just time with people that actually love me.” It was obvious that the cat was becoming more and more comfortable at David’s place the more that she and her owner went over there. It helped that David bought her treats, toys, and even a comfy bed to to make the place feel more like home to her. “I think we’re both pretty comfortable here.” Nicolette stood on her toes and gave David a quick kiss to the cheek before she retreated to his bedroom. There she picked up a flannel shirt and threw it on atop her black leggings, then picked up the case just as David had asked. “Got it,” Nicolette announced when she re-entered the other room, the blonde absolutely swallowed by the plaid fabric she’d picked out to wear.
junieroscoe·:
Junie grinned, a little amused. “I’m not sure if you could…” she said, referring to the fake ones. She leant a little closer to look at them all - surprised by how many options there were now. “You know…I’ve never actually carved a pumpkin before,” Junie admitted with a shrug. “Could you not carve it inside?” she continued, glancing over at the blonde curiously. She really didn’t know anything about pumpkin carving at all.Â
“Really? You just haven’t, or do you not do Halloween? My best friend growing up wasn’t allowed to do it because her mom said it was of the devil,” Nic explained. “She always carved pumpkins and dressed up at my house anyway though. Yeah, I’d carve it in my kitchen. Throw a cheap tablecloth over the table and go at it,” she smiled. “I just don’t have anywhere good to display it outside.”
thedavidreyes·
He chuckled and shook his head, “don’t worry i would never be so stupid as to think that I’d get it back.” Its not like he’d be upset if she did steal his shirt. It wouldn’t even be considered stealing, he’d willingly give it to her. He looked at her while she spoke and felt his eyebrows raising on their own accord, fighting to bring them back down. It was a little odd maybe, everyone he’d grown up with couldn’t wait to get their license, even the bad ones. But he wasn’t about to judge her. Lord knows there are bigger concerns in life than driving. “Makes sense, especially while living in a place like New York. How long did you live there?” He grinned and gave a scoff at her teasing comment, “oh, so I’m the chauffer huh? I see how it is.” He smiled as her turned to face her, “I got Janis a toy, I hope you don’t mind. Its just on the coffee table by the couch.”
Nicolette giggled the way up to David’s apartment, feeling Janis squirming with excitement in her carrier for being around her adopted cat-father. “I moved to New York for college when I was 19,” Nicolette thought aloud, doing math in her head. “I turned thirty there and it was one of the most miserable birthdays of my life. I was there for a whole ten years.” A decade half-wasted, she thought to herself, five of those years Nicolette having the time of her life and five more wondering if life was worth it at all. “You always get her toys, babe. I think you spoil her more than me.” Once inside Nicolette set the carrier down and let Janis loose, the black furball gravitating towards David’s ankles. “Um, do you care if I do on and get comfortable? I just sort of want to relax tonight,” Nicolette asked, wringing her hands nervously.Â

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harrison-bennett·:
“That’s all part of it though, as gross as it can be. Fucking messy too. But, that’s all part of the fun.” Harrison chuckled. “What kind of scrooge is your landlord? Jesus. Is scrooge even the right word? Or is that associated only with Christmas? I honestly don’t know. Either way, your landlord sounds like an ass.” He shook his head. “Some people just don’t appreciate the holiday, and that’s just sad. There’s no need to go ruining shit for everyone else.”
“My mom and I always baked the pumpkin seeds after. I’d gut a pumpkin just to be able to do that. It’s just such a mess. It makes me wish I had a house of my own. I could afford one. I guess I just never thought of buying my own house without being married, you know?” She shrugged. “I’ll take it. He’s a scrooge. Doesn’t want pumpkins rotting in the hallway, not that I’d ever let mine get that bad. My guess is he’s had to clean up one too many of someone else’s Halloween messes before.”
maddoxsaviano·:
“Yeah, but I thought people hate that. With like Valentine’s and Christmas, but no one hates Halloween”, he frownes. He liked Christmas, he didn’t really care for Valentine’s and Halloween he did not get. The candy kind of made sense, but then the horror aspect came in and he understood nothing again. “I’m 53 years old”, Maddox said. Like that explained it, he had probably outlived Halloween parties years now. “I am, yeah. Please do something with my garden. Someone should.”
“I guess people like playing dress up and watching scary movies enough to forget that they hate it,” she thought aloud. “Hey, I’ll be going to Halloween parties when I’m 53! They might look a little different from the ones I go to now, but you can put money on the fact that I’m going to put on a costume and have a good time. Age isn’t anything,” Nic smiled. “Alright. I think I could manage that.”
aoifermoran·:
“I was,” Aoife nodded, her smile fading a little. “He passed nearly a decade ago.” She wasn’t sure if it was exactly the place to give more detail. She wanted to mention her late son, but figured that could wait for later. “He is,” he face brightened a little. “He’s got quite the physique, he’s into his fitness. Can’t help but worry some very fit woman will swoop in and win his heart,” she half joked. Aoife wasn’t out of shape so to speak, but her body had changed with the twins and she definitely wasn’t what she used to be. She loved seeing her new friend so excited about this man. “If it feels right then go with it, try not to let your mind get in the way. I firmly believe in trusting your heart when it comes to things like love.” Aoife knew a thing or two about finding a good man, she’d been blessed in her life, first with Niall and then with Charlie. She’d grown up around good men and was forever grateful for that, she knew most women weren’t so fortunate. “Nothing is wrong with you, Nicolette, what’s wrong is that they don’t put in enough research to find options for women that have fewer side effects.” She could rant for days about the gaps in women’s health care. “Sounds like quite the charmer,” she snorted, noting the shift in Nicolette’s demeanour. “Reproductive abuse is a very serious form of abuse, I’m glad to hear he is part of your past.” Aoife took another sip from her tea and nodded. “The pull-out method, while not entirely reliable, isn’t bad. I would suggest if you’re not keen on taking a daily tablet then tracking your cycles along with the pull-out method can be very effective. There are also hormone free intrauterine devices that might be a viable option for you. Do you know what brands of birth control you’ve been on before? Some of them are more likely to cause side effects than others.”Â
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. Jesus, I shouldn’t have asked.” Nicolette scolded herself internally for prying. Even if Aoife’s husband hadn’t passed it wasn’t any of her business to go asking about a previous marriage. “Oh but you’re so beautiful, Aoife. I don’t think anyone could really compare.” The blonde smiled sweetly at her friend. It was nice to have all of her strong feelings validated. Being with David felt right - more right than anything had in years. “You know how to make a girl feel better. I always saw my friends going about their lives like normal while I felt like puking my guts up a good fraction of the time.” So there was a name for what her ex was doing to her? Great. Just one more thing she could add on to the never-ending list. “I’ve done the pills and I had an IUD at one point. I hated both of them. He tried to convince me to get an implant or do the shots but...but I guess I told myself that things would be better at some point and maybe we could be a happy family. That everything was just temporary. God, I feel...ugh.” Stupid. Stupid was what she wanted to say, but Nicolette couldn’t help the manipulation she’d been under. “I take anxiety medication too. I really hate taking medicine. I try to avoid it if at all possible. It can’t be good for you to pump your body full of unnatural shit.”
hgbennett·:
Harper laughed softly, picking up one that was covered in glitter, immediately regretting it as she was now also covered in glitter.·“Why don’t you just come over and carve pumpkins with us at our house? Plenty of space. I’m sure we can do a huge group thing, put a tarp over the large dinning table and go for it.” She was certain having everyone over at the Bennett house to carve pumpkins would be a blast, but the thought of picturing a large group of cops sitting on the floor bent over a pumpkin made her squirm with back pain.·“I’m sure you could find a quality fake one you could maybe carve… like styrofoam or something. Just paint over parts. I’m not sure.”
“That sounds like a lot of fun, Harper,” Nicolette smiled.·“I’ll just have to leave my pumpkin there, which will still make me sad though.” Nicolette pouted and picked up a foam pumpkin, eyeing it up.·“I don’t know. The thought of cutting through styrofoam sounds kind of unbearable. That squeaking, you know?”
jam-al-damiri·:
Jam smiled, “Just a little bit, it’s my own fault though, I had a late night even if I knew I had to get up early. I’ll let you treat this time, but I’m getting the next one.” He followed a step behind her, letting her lead the way, “I don’t blame you, I got my fill of summer living in Egypt for as long as I did, I might not tolerate the cold very well, but I still love those seasons too. You know, I don’t know if I’ve got the look you guys are looking for, but if you ever need some free ad work done, let me know, I don’t mind helping out a friend between jobs, just say so, it’ll be fun”Â
“I’m guilty of that from time to time,” Nicolette admitted. “It’s my cat’s fault though, she’s a bad influence. You know, I think I had my fill of summer living growing up in a literal swamp down south. Humidity, bugs, ugh,” Nic groaned. “I’ll take golden leaves and icy cold any day.” Nicolette eyed Jam up and down. “You know, I think I might have a couple of dressed that would look good on your body type. If you’re really willing to help, I mean.”

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maddoxsaviano·:
“You’re so asking the wrong person. I still don’t get Halloween”, Maddox said with a frown. He didn’t get Halloween. Or Thanksgiving. They were so insanely, and exclusively American. He had lived in the US for twenty years, he married an American but he did not get it. “You can come use my garden. It looks like hell, but it’s not a tiny balcony.”
“My dad always told us it was a holiday candy companies use to make millions,” Nicolette mumbled with a loose shrug of her shoulders. “Which, it probably is. It’s fun though, getting to dress up, get creative, and be a little bit silly. You don’t go to any parties or anything?” Her eyes lit up at his offer, the blonde hardly able to believe it. “Are you seriously offering for me to put a pumpkin in your garden?”
harrison-bennett·:
“I don’t think so. You really can’t beat the real thing.” Harrison had grown up in a family that took every holiday and occasion extremely seriously. The last few months leading up to the end of the year, it felt like there was a party at his parents’ house nearly every weekend. And his mother would always go all out with the decorating. He had plenty of memories of carving pumpkins with his brother and friends in preparation for Halloween. It was his favourite time of year. “Does your balcony face the street or something? Maybe you could get a real one, carve it, and put it out there for people to see when they go by? Or are you on a high floor?”
“Never, even if the guts are disgusting,” she scoffed. “I live on a high floor so no one would even get to see them. It’s pretty sad. One year I asked if I could put a pumpkin in the hallway and it was a firm no from the landlord. Oh well.” Nicolette sighed heavily. “Tried to put them outside of my shop too and you don’t even want to know what happened to those.”
aoifermoran·:
“Gotta love a big strong man,” Aoife chuckled. “My first husband used to carry me around. I’m sure Charlie could too come to think about it, but he’s never tried.” It was so exciting to see her new friend so delighted. “God I know that feeling,” she grinned, shaking her head. “I thought I was close to losing my mind when Charlie and I first started dating because he was all I could think about. We definitely didn’t take our time and I wouldn’t change it for the world.” Aoife nodded, once again knowing with Nicolette meant. “I wouldn’t worry about the honeymoon ending, I think it just evolves. Some might say I’m still in the honeymoon phase with Charlie because we’ve only been together a couple years, but the love I feel for him is so much more stable now.” Glancing at the picture again before setting her phone down, she smiled to herself. She loved her children more than she could articulate. It was a kind of love she’d been searching for her whole life. “I know what you mean, I’ve always been close with my brothers, it’s hard being this far away though. I hope the kids stay this close as they grow up.” Taking a drink of her tea, she felt the conversation shift. Aoife listened carefully, making sure she was understanding. “Unfortunately I’ve heard of quite a lot of women who struggle when on birth control, but fortunately there are so many methods that I’m sure we can find one that works for you. No one deserves to feel like shit.” She spoke frankly, already running through ideas in her mind.Â
“I didn’t know you were married before,” Nicolette thought aloud. “Charlie’s pretty fit, right? He looks it from what I’ve seen on social media,” she explained. “Okay, that makes me feel a lot better about how I’m feeling right now. I’ve only known David for a couple of months and we’ve barely been official. I still can’t believe I have a boyfriend again.” Nicolette almost swooned at the term, a smile growing on her face while she thought of David. “I hope you’re right. I feel like you are. It all just feels very, very right. We’ve both been through a lot in life and I feel like that makes it so much easier to know when something is really good. David just is.” She smiled at Aoife, feeling much more comfortable when she realized other women had the same problems. “I always felt like something was just wrong with me. Any kind I tried made me feel so nauseous. Even thinking about being on something makes me feel a little sick to my stomach. My ex he...he made me stay on something to make sure I wouldn’t get pregnant.” Nicolette’s gaze shifted downward, the blonde reliving unsavory memories in her head. “Right now he’s just uh, we’re just doing the whole pull-out thing. I guess condoms are an option but, you know. They kind of take a little bit of the fun out of things.”
“I miss carving the real things,” Nicolette sighed, picking up a decorative pumpkin from the shelf. There was a wide selection this year, and all of them were cute. Metallic, glitter, pink, black, gold, and all of them were right up Nicolette’s alley. Still, they just didn’t compare to carving a real pumpkin. “The downside of living in an apartment with a tiny balcony, I guess. Think I could make a jack-o-lantern with one of these fake ones?” @chicagcstart​
thedavidreyes·:
David smiled at her laugh and nodded at her requests, “I think I can manage that.” He added with a chuckle. He was surprisingly happy that she wanted to wear his shirt. Maybe it was the fact that no one had ever really worn his shirt before, not in such a fluffy and domestic way. “Oh.” He tried to control his emotions not wanting to over react or have her feel like he was judging her. “I forgot you said you didn’t have a car. But, I didn’t realise you couldn’t drive.” As they got to the door he opened it and let her walk in first with Janis. “Do you find it tricky to get around? You’re probably use to it now huh?”Â
“Good. I hope you know it’ll probably be my shirt after tonight. Don’t expect to get it back,” she smiled. Nicolette would be lying if she said she hadn’t dug through David’s closet once or twice already, imagining wearing his clothes out and about, around the house, in bed, basically any chance she could get. Anything to feel like he was closer to her. “Yeah, I’m not really good at it I guess,” she cringed. “I passed the paper version of my test when I turned sixteen. Failed the driving portion. Anytime anyone tried to teach me they ended up cutting the lesson short. I just rode around everywhere with friends or Lucas in high school, and when I lived in New York I didn’t need a car at all. I’m used to it here, by now. Besides, now I have you to drive me around,” Nic teased.Â

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jam-al-damiri·:
Jam smiled again, “Great. I had a late night and had to be up early to do this and I could use the biggest coffee one of these shops is legally allowed to give me. Did you have a good day at the shop? I have a shoot for a clothing company today, some catalog and website stuff and a few overly domestic catalog shoots, nothing too exciting, but it pays the bills. Places are doing their Christmas shoots now so their catalogs will be ready in time, so I’m getting a lot of work at the moment.”Â
“Aw, tired? Why don’t you let me treat you to it?” She began walking towards the closet coffee shop, turning her blonde head to look at Jam while she talked. “It’s been pretty good. We’re working on transitioning into our fall stock and I can’t wait until it’s done. As much as I love dressing like a 70′s hippie princess in the spring and summer, fall and winter are my two favorite seasons for fashion. Maybe it’s just the fact that I get to be cozy all the time,” she grinned. “Yes, this time of year is huge for retail. Gotta get all those ads pumped out before Black Friday so they can make bank, you know?”
aoifermoran·:
Grinning as she waited eagerly to hear Nicolette’s news, Aoife was ready to tuck in on the updates. She’d missed having a good chat with a friend. “Ooh, construction is sexy,” she giggled, acting more like a school girl than a grown woman and mother. Leaning towards Nicolette she peered at the picture. “Wow,” she nodded taking the phone to get a closer look. “He’s very handsome,” she agreed, still grinning and passed the phone back. “I don’t think it’s wrong to fall quickly. I knew I was in love with Charlie after a month after our first date.” It was so vivid in her memory, the early days of falling for her future husband. “She’s in the first grade,” Aoife’s mind shifted back to the conversation. “I think they definitely notice her gone, but they’re all so excited when they’re reunited.” Pulling out her phone, Aoife scrolled to a picture she’d caught of Emma greeting the twins after the first day of school. “They’re crazy about each other,” she beamed. Putting her phone away she took a sip of her tea. “Absolutely,” Aoife nodded, sitting up a little straighter. “You’re interested in birth control options?” she clarified.Â
“Right? I know that I’m pretty small to begin with but I like the way he can just carry me around the house with no problem,” Nicolette giggled. “Ugh, he is. I really can’t get enough of him. It’s terrifying honestly. I’m somewhere between waiting for the honeymoon phase to end and feeling like it’s never going to end.” There would always be that worry with Nicolette, the thought that at some point David could find her annoying and she’d become a burden upon him more than anything. But, he was her David, and her David would never do that. “Oh my gosh that’s so cute. They’re so adorable. There’s nothing better than a sweet, sibling relationship. I don’t know where I’d be without my brother.” Nicolette shifted slightly in her seat, fingertips tapping against the cold cup in her hands. “Yeah, since I kind of need it now. I tried a few different methods in the past and anything prescribed to me always made me feel so disgusting. I haven’t been on any kind of birth control since I left my ex,” she explained. “I just don’t feel like being miserable all the time again.”