Advice on Writing Thieves, Assassins, or Other Stealthy Characters
Iâve put a lot of research into this, and Iâve seen a lot of great rogue-like characters, where the author was clearly unsure as to how they perform their criminal activities. If you feel the need to ask why I know this stuff, my main writings are for a book series called âA Thiefâs War,â which should be more than enough explanation. I swear Iâm not personally a thief.
Iâve seen some stories where characters grab a paperclip, and boom, no lock can stop them. Iâve also seen some where master thieves take a hammer and smash the lock.
A lock has a series of tumblers in it, each of which need to click into place for it to unlock. A keyâs design is usual exactly what it must be to get these tumblers into the proper position.
There are a wide array of shapes and sizes for lockpicks, and if youâre going to go around picking locks, youâre going to need more than one. There is no universal lockpick. Furthermore, for some reason a lot of people donât include the secondary locking tool: a lock wrench. This is used to turn the the lock, and to keep the tumblers in place once youâve appropriately placed them with the lockpick.
A lockpicker will know that a tumbler is in place when they hear it click, but the noise is usually quiet, so theyâll often have their ear close to the door.
Can you pick a lock with a paperclip? Yes, but itâs hard as hell, and a paperclip wonât fit into all locks. Not to mention itâs a pain turning the lock once the tumblers are in place.
 With code locks, a lot of movies or books show someone pressing their ear closely to the lock, whilst turning it, and listening for a click when it hits the right number. This actually works. These are the most useless goddamn locks in history.
Now, if youâre writing modern day, with smart locks and various other such tech, Iâm afraid I canât help. I havenât studied that as much. Though, the previous advice will help for most locks, and that information still applies to basically all types of lock that arenât incredibly expensive.
The dashing rogue slips through the shadows, his cloak billowing behind him, and somehow none of the dozen patrolling guards walking right by happen to notice him.
Yeah, thatâs not how it works.
Sneaking involves a lot of remaining very still, knowing your surroundings, and holding your breath.
A thief infiltrating a house will scout it out, usually for weeks in advance. Sometimes theyâll pose as various businessmen, and try to get the owners of the house let them in for a while so they can study the ins and outs of it. Cracking open a window isnât quiet, and you need to know what doors will creak and what doors wonât.
If youâre trying to sneak, you need to try and stick near furniture and heavy objects. The floor isnât nearly as likely to creak when youâre near these. Furthermore, you need to step lightly, and wear the appropriate footwear. Usually some cloth wrappingâs around oneâs feet will help to be quiet, but avoid any shoes that might make clacking noises, or sound like theyâre peeling off the floor when they move. A thief will also never scuff their feet, if theyâre any good at sneaking.
Black clothing only helps you sneak if itâs dark, and your surroundings arenât bright coloured. If youâre in a city of white buildings and marble, youâll want matching attire. This is just for if youâre skulking about a city, though. Just make sure you donât stand out. However, dark clothing will greatly help you not be seen from a distance when itâs night.
If a thief suspects someone is nearby, they should always try to locate a nearby hiding spot, and remain perfectly still. Do not move, and a good thief will hold their breath if they start getting anxious, as heavy breathing could easily give someone away.
Many stories also donât seem to account for the fact that various rogues and criminals have shadows, too. Even a quick and subtle movement of a shadow might be enough to give away oneâs presence. Itâs really, really hard to actually sneak up on someone due to this, and several other factors. Most people will actually feel tense, and usually catch wind of it if someone is sneaking up behind them, as even very quiet sounds and movements like breathing will subconsciously register to people if you get too close.
Iâm a master assassin, and I carry a goddamn greatsword:
There is a reason they would use daggers. Assassins didnât usually sneak into the kingâs bedchamber in the dead of night, without being seen once. There are guards. A long hallway with two guards standing in front of the door at the end, there is absolutely no way to slip past that.
They would usually have to get into the building during the day, disguised as a servant, or even another guard. Theyâd have to wait for the perfect opportunity to sneak into that noblemanâs bedchamber, midday when he was absent, and then wait in there for hours.
If the assassin is sneaking in at night, they rarely go through the interior of the building. Just like a thief, theyâll get the layout of the building, and then theyâll usually enter through a window, or wherever is closest to the target. If they donât have those guard patrols memorised, theyâre screwed.
But you know whatâs not subtle? An assassin carrying around a scimitar, or some flashy crossbow. If youâre going to sneak past people, you need a weapon no one will see, and that you can probably hide if someone decides to search you.
This is mainly relevant for modern era stories, and I just wanted to say that Iâve seen a few shows where a criminal isnât wearing gloves throughout the whole thing. You always wear gloves, you never leave the murder weapon. If you touched something without gloves, you may as well take it with you to avoid risk.
Slipping out of Handcuffs:
This usually requires dislocating your fingers. Ouch. But, if the one cuffing or tying up the thief isnât paying too much attention, you can keep your hands at an appropriate angle that the cuffs will not go on correctly, or the ropes not pulled tight enough, and you can probably slip out of them.
Who needs masks when you have shadowy hoods?
Guess what the easiest facial feature to notice in the dark is? If you guessed eyes, then youâre right. But, if youâre blending in, and your eyes are veiled by the hood thatâs somehow not obscuring your vision while you crane your neck downwards to ensure that it covers your face, then people are usually still going to be able to see your lips, which stand out the second most of any feature on a person.
Yes, a hood is good if youâre trying to blend in. But itâs not good for making sure people donât see your face. Wear a damned mask.
This is all Iâve got, for now. Hope it helps someone!
