в тобі я втоплю свою весну...

A lot of older Ukrainians deal with their trauma by not talking about it, that's the way it was in my family, many people say the same thing about their relatives, how they rarely talked about their own experience of Holodomor, war and soviet union. And I used to think how on Earth were they able to contain all that trauma inside, but now I get it. It's important to talk about it, but what would I be able to say to my grandkids in the future? How can I put into words how scared and angry and exhausted I am? How terrifying it is to be this close to death every day? How much pain and memories of people and places that don't exist anymore you carry? How scared and hurt you're not only for your loved ones, but also complete strangers? No words can explain the extreme emotions we feel every day. You don't get it until it happens to you.