I'm getting back into writing. I might also draw once a decade or so. I'm on Ao3! Summaries of my fanfics live under the cut. I love love love comments and art and jabbering about them <3 Send me asks to get a way-too-verbose response!
I play and reblog FFXIV (My WoL is Fiona Blackthorne on Cactuar). I also usually reblog Legend of Zelda stuff. Both are tagged as #ffxiv and #legend of zelda respectively (all mainline games). I'm also currently really deep in Linked Universe (tagged as #linked universe).
If it makes me laugh, it gets a reblog under #laugh rule.
My three cats are Ismee, Emil (pictured), and Chai. Sorry everyone but Emil is the caretaker of the sole Orange Cat Braincell.
I'm ace-biromantic and polyamorous. Queer/LGBTQ+ folks of all stripes welcome here. Trans rights are human rights.
Writing Stuff (LoZ Fics)
Fics marked as "Unbroken AU" share a timeline/continuity.
Shards of the Hero - BotW/TotK (Finished, Unbroken AU)
Taking place after Tears of the Kingdom, Link and Zelda meet a new incarnation of the Hero, nicknamed Midori, wearing Majora's Mask. Midori's wish on the mask to undo the Calamity comes true (by making something much worse happen).
The Princess and the Spirit - Echoes of Wisdom (One Shot, Unbroken AU)
A little headcanon regarding the swordfighter form in Echoes of Wisdom, wrapped in fluff and friendship.
Captain Link meets a Skyloftian knight who is very interested in learning about this future Hero (and what Link's history might say about Skyloft's prophecies). Absolutely no one is happy to learn who the Chosen Hero will be.
A LU longfic adding Linkle and Midori (from SotH) to the Chain. When Null begins eating time itself, eleven Heroes of Courage are thrown out of their eras and scattered across history. But there's another Hero who should have joined them and he's stuck in his era, hounded by a cult that wants him sacrificed. If they want to save Hyrule, the Chain risks losing everything else.
Fallen Fae - Linked Universe (Standalone)
You've heard of Fairy Hyrule, but have you heard of Anti-Fairy Hyrule? After an incident with a corrupted Great Fairy, Hyrule's fae side turns a little vampiric. The Chain has to figure out how to turn him back to normal before he bites anyone else.
A Field Guide to Fairies - Linked Universe (One Shot, companion to Fallen Fae)
Vio writes a short nonfiction book about fairies. And mushrooms. And insects. That are all also fairies. The other Colors leave commentary. With pictures!
Thread of Fate - Cadence of Hyrule/Linked Universe (One Shot, standalone)
Based on this prompt. Legend raids the Local Yarn Shop (the LYS is run by Fate and also he's dead but what else is new for the Hero of Legend.)
Hic Svnt Leones - Linked Universe/FFXIV (One Shot, standalone)
A mechanical lifeform from another universe crash lands in Wild's era. When the Chain goes to investigate, they get caught in a stowaway's trap. Welcome to Pandaemonium, Heroes; here be lions!
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So they're revamping Chocobo Companions, but keeping the existing Ranks in place. Sounds like a great time to rank up your Chocobo if you haven't already. And to do that you'll need Thavnairian Onions. You can get a couple from quests in game, but mostly you wind up having to buy them, and they are expensive as hell because they're so obnoxious to grow.
I'm going to bet that the demand is about to spike WAY higher than the supply, so if you want to grow them yourself to either sell or use, here's the simplest Thavnairian Onion Gardening Guide I could manage. Sorry it's still pretty involved, but once you have the materials together and understand what to do with them the most burdensome thing about it is the time commitment.
Detailed instructions under the cut
Here's what you'll need. It looks like a lot, but of the various options available these are the ones I personally found to be the least stressful to assemble.
THE ABILITY TO LOG IN AT LEAST EVERY 24 HOURS: If you do not water your plants once a day, many of them will die. If you're planting in a Free Company garden you can enlist other members to help. If you're planting in a personal house garden, I believe you can designate someone else a tenant of your house and let them also help? You can't over-water but you can under-water, so the more the merrier.
A HOUSE (FREE COMPANY OR PERSONAL): This can only be done in outdoor gardening plots, which is why Onions are a perk a lot of FCs provide to members. If the only garden you have available is outside a Free Company House, an officer may need to set permissions to give you access to it.
DELUXE GARDEN PATCH (AS MANY AS POSSIBLE): These are the garden plots with 8 spots for seeds/soil, and a scarecrow in the middle. Honestly I'm not sure why they even sell the two smaller size of garden plots, I've never seen anyone use them. Anyway… 2-3 Deluxe Garden Plots make this process easier because you'll usually want to be growing 2-3 different sets of stuff at a time, but if you've only got access to 1 you can still grow Thavnairian Onions, it'll just take longer obviously and you'll have to remember to alternate what you plant each time. A Small House can have 1 Deluxe Garden Patch, a Medium House can have 2, and a Large House can have 3.
FISH MEAL: And a ton of it. Basically any time you're near your garden, go by and sprinkle fish meal on all the seeds. You can sprinkle 1 per real world hour on each seed, and they cut down the time the seed needs to grow (I'm not sure precisely how much, the formula seems to be contentious in the gardening community). Is this 100% necessary? No, you can do without Fish Meal entirely if you want. But the grow times on these seeds are all pretty long, and anything you can do to speed them up will both increase your yield over time and reduce the risk of your seeds drying out if you miss a watering cycle. And honestly, this stuff is cheap enough that it's a very easy call to use it whenever you get the chance. Fish Meal can be bought from housing merchants in every housing district for 21 gil each, or a level 5+ Culinarian can craft 12 of them from 3 Lominsan Anchovies and 1 Fire Shard. And Lominsan Anchovies can be bought for 7 gil each from Holasfhis (Limsa Lominsa Upper Decks X:10.3, Y:13.6) or from the Material Suppliers you can place inside houses (last item under Cooking Ingredients). Or you can fish them yourself from the dock right by the Fishing Guild in Limsa Lominsa, if you're determined to be as cheap as possible about this.
GRADE 3 THANALAN TOPSOIL: You'll need 8 of these per Deluxe Garden Patch you want to fill up. These improve the chance of the seeds that grow in them producing crossbreed seeds, but they still don't guarantee anything. You can acquire Grade 3 Thanalan Topsoil from a Mining node that appears at 5AM Eorzea Time in Western La Noscea in the Hammerlea area (roughly X:18, Y:28), but you can only gather one per spawn of that node. However, once you gather them, if you have a Retainer whose job is set to Miner and is at least level 50 with gear that raises their Gathering score to 149 or higher, you can send them out to gather one Thanalan Topsoil per hour for 2 Ventures. And you can also trade Thanalan Topsoil them from Bertana in Idyllshire (X:5.9, Y:5.2) for one Unidentifiable Ore each. There are a ton of different ways to get Unidentifiable Ores, look it up! The most common is to just buy them for 150 Tomestones of Poetics each from another NPC in the same building as Bertana.
POTTING SOIL: You'll need some of the basic crappy potting soil to optimize your crossbreeding chances, roughly 1 for every 8 Grade 3 Thanalan Topsoil. I'll explain why in a bit. You can just buy these from Material Suppliers/Apartment Merchants in every Housing District for 120 gil each.
MIRROR APPLE SEEDS: You will want 4-5x of these per Deluxe Garden Plot you want to fill. You can get these as a level 42+ Botanist in Coerthas Central Highlands, from the trees immediately to the West of Camp Dragonhead. Being level 55+ for Luck of the Pioneer makes this much easier, as the seeds are usually Hidden, even for max-level Botanists in good gear. You may also want to go and collect your daily Map first, so that you can guarantee that hitting Luck of the Pioneer will make a seed appear instead of a Map that you don't want. Then once you've gathered these at least once, you can send a Botanist Retainer to get another one once per hour. Why do you want 4-5? I'll explain under the crossbreeding section, it'll be up to you to decide if you want to throw away 1 Mirror Apple Seed per plot or one of the other two types of seeds you're pairing it with.
KRAKKA ROOT SEEDS: You'll want 4-5x of these per Deluxe Garden Plot you want to fill. You'll want them in half your available plots usually, or to alternate them if you've got an odd number of plots. You can buy these for 3,480 gil each from the Material Suppliers in the Housing Zones, or from Tanie in New Gridania (X:11.0, Y:11.1). That's a lot of gil when you add up how many you'll eventually go through, so maybe check the market board too. But honestly it's way more likely that people are trying to flip these at a premium than that someone had a bunch of extra to sell at a loss.
OLD WORLD FIG SEEDS: You'll also want 4-5x of these per Delux Garden Plot you want to fill. The other half of your plots that aren't half-full of Krakka Root Seeds will be half-full of Old World Fig Seeds. In either case the other half will be the Mirror Apple Seeds. Old World Fig Seeds can be found from a timed Botany node in The Dravanian Forelands that's available from 2AM-4AM or 2PM-4PM. You can gather at least 8 per spawn of this node, and with Botanist tricks can get as many as 36 pretty easily, so these will probably be among the more abundant ingredients you'll have.
Ok, got all the stuff together? Here's what to do with it!
You're trying to generate Thavnairian Onion Seeds, which only result from successful crossbreeding of other seeds that themselves only emerge from successful crossbreeding. So you want to use your Mirror Apple Seeds and Krakka Root Seeds to crossbreed Curiel Root Seeds, and then use your Mirror Apple Seeds and Old world Fig Seeds to generate Royal Kukuru Seeds. And once you've done that you can use your Curiel Root Seeds and Royal Kukuru Seeds to generate Thavnairian Onion Seeds, which you can either sell or grow.
But how does crossbreeding seeds work?
Basically you want to plant your seeds in alternating patterns so that each seed is next to a different type of seed, and you'll want to use Grade 3 Thanalan Topsoil because it boosts the chances of crossbreeding. Crossbreeding chance is determined at the moment you plant the seeds, so every seed but the first one you plant has a crossbreeding chance based on its neighbor. That's why you plant that first seed using the cheap Potting Soil - the first seed's crossbreed chance will always be zero because it has no neighbors yet, so a Thanalan Topsoil would be wasted on it. Then after you plant the other seven seeds you can dig up the first seed and re-plant another one using the Grade 3 Thanalan Soil, so that now every planted seed has a chance to generate crossbreed seeds.
Once you've planted using that pattern, visit to sprinkle Fish Meal as often as possible (but no more than once per real world hour) and to water the plants at least every 24 hours (and ideally sooner, you don't want to risk cutting it too close).
When you've used this planting pattern to generate at least 4-5 Curiel Root Seeds and 4-5 Royal Kukuru Seeds, you'll want to use the exact same pattern to crossbreed those with each other and generate Thavnairian Onion Seeds. This is where having 3 Garden Plots becomes really ideal, so you can have one plot generating Curiel Root Seeds, one plot generating Royal Kukuru Seeds, and one plot crossbreeding them into Thavnairian Onion Seeds. But realistically even with that setup you'll often have times where the RNG doesn't like you and you don't have enough of either type of tier-2 seed to start making Onion seeds, so don't worry too much if your garden is too small to fully optimize like that.
Thavnairian Onion Seeds have some pretty good crossbreeding potential too, so you may want to put them in a garden outdoors. But you can only get one onion per seed, so fancy soils don't really matter for them unless you're crossbreeding them, and you may decide to plant them indoors so that one or two onion seeds don't disrupt a whole garden plot from generating more onion seeds. That's all a bit beyond the scope of what I want to go into here though, so if you really want to go crazy with more crossbreeding once you've got your onion seeds, you'll have to look it up yourselves.
Hopefully this all makes sense, feel free to hit me up with any questions!
I made a little tool for tracking watering, fertilizing, and harvesting times a little bit ago since I thought to try gardening. It hasn't fully solved the "forgot to log in and water the garden" problem but it helped a little:
Source code:
Timers for gardening in FFXIV. Contribute to Respheal/ffxiv-garden-timers development by creating an account on GitHub.
Thinking about how Estinien saved the Warrior of Light from certain death at Zenos' hands and brought them to Aymeric, who then not only brought the WoL all the way to the Temple Knights' infirmary in Ishgard to recover, but also made sure to wait for them to wake up before returning to the frontlines
some people are taking "doomed" to mean "dead". this is actually a misconception! you can be doomed even if you don't die! it's sometimes worse if you don't die!
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I keep thinking about that "Final Fantasy is a Homestuck" post because I hate how true it is. Trying to describe this game makes me sound about how trying to describe Homestuck made me sound.
Yes please play this 12 year-old game. Sorry you can't play the first part of it because it was so bad they rebooted the whole thing and dropped a dragon nuke on the planet and caused planetary ecological changes. They will still reference that, sorry. Yes the entire base story is considered okish, please play for a 60 hours to get to the first expansion. It is actually worth it trust me I know it sounds wild, but it will rip your heart out several times. Some of the best writing in the entire game is in an optional job quest storyline where you pick up a greatsword and get asked by your own internal pain why you don't just go mad.
There are bunnies on the moon, the dragons are aliens, you optionally travel through time and space to catch a fish, you have a cook-off and alpaca catching competition to determine a nation's ruler, the guy who basically invented advanced gun technology keeps stealing old advanced weaponry to tinker with and no one is stopping him for some reason, Estinien is there (it makes sense in context), the catholic elves are so messed there are LEVELS to that shit (everyone should do the Scholasticate quests! :D), one of your foes won't fucking stay dead and goes to extreme lengths just to have a punching match with you, depression is a bird, one old tired man just wants a nap but also funded an entire theater company, if you do an option storyline of fights you can find a sentient plush chocobo and his world-ending superweapon bug pal just in the world map, you have an entire WWE cagematch fight series, gundam references!, there's Evangelion crossover!(soon), there's Nier crossover!, the gods of the world form Voltron, a man shackles himself to an ancient database tower to pull you to another world.
I sound like a crazy person but that's not even all of it! It's a major time sink I really don't blame people for not playing it. But if you've at all considered it give it a go, there's a free trial that keeps getting expanded so you can play 5/6 of the 10 year story that just wrapped up for free. You've probably seen the meme.
Give it a shot. This game actually literally saved my life.
And at the end they'll ask was your journey worthwhile? And henceforth you shall walk.
Edit: the title for this comic is “Puzzle Rat”
this one’s a few days late due to having a lot of doctors appointments sorry
it’s just 9 pages, and about some rats… it’s more symbolic than anything really
(it’s completely unrelated to any of my songs that have to do with “puzzleboy”)
Patreon: www.patreon.com/PengoSolvent
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Stormblood where everything is the same except Estinien is badly hidden in every cut scene. Sometimes he’s just in the background standing on someone’s roof. Sometimes he’s in the corner standing still with a lampshade over his head.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming