Something Something Stuff Goes Here

Anyhow. After the movie, I got to thinking about how the themes of the movie are "true beauty is on the inside" and all, and something a little strange hit me: Gaston doesn't seem to hit the physical profile that the guys in Disney Princess movies usually hit.

(Keep in mind, it has been years since I've seen a lot of these movies, and I may be misremembering some details. Additionally, there are several big Disney movies that I haven't seen, Pocahontas and The Princess and the Frog among them.)

Gaston is a muscular parody of manliness. His song expounds on how big he is, his muscles, his masculine facial features, etc. However, looking back at most of the other Disney movies, male romantic interests seem to have softer facial features and, even with more physical characters like Eric, Aladdin, and Flynn/Eugene, their physique isn't given a lot of emphasis (Aladdin runs around in an open vest, but I have trouble recalling how much attention was called to his looks due to the story's focus on his nature as "the Diamond in the Rough.") The Beast/Adam/Whatever you want to call him matches this a lot better when he regains his human form. Basically, Gaston may have muscles for days and a "swell double cleft in his chin," but he's not romantic interest shaped. Or something.

1: A fair chunk of the storyline is taken up by Jason's search for his birth mother, which he narrows down to three suspects. One of those suspects is Lady Shiva. It's relatively minor in the course of the book, but it's kind of funny to me considering that she turns out to be the mother of a different member of the Bat-Family.

2: The final act of the story deals with the Joker becoming the Iranian ambassador to the U.N. so that he can kill everyone in the U.N. building with laughing gas. Seriously. That happens. Superman stops him, then flies off to get rid of the gas and leaves him to Batman.

3: Batman spends the final act out for Joker's blood. Repeatedly contemplating that this is the final battle and he may regret what he's about to do for the rest of his life, but Joker killed Jason. The Joker escapes via a timely helicopter crash, and I guess Batman cools down from his vengeful rage by the time he pops back up.

I don't know, it's just weird. This classic storyline that everyone knows about (it's the one where Jason dies), and it's a major focus, but there's also this other stuff going on. Some of which probably wouldn't have been done in this day and age.

Kamen Rider: Some guy ends up with powers that stem from the same source as a powerful enemy, but instead chooses to use them for good. He doesn’t necessarily want to fight, but it’s necessary in the face of this destructive force. Originally this just meant that he was turned into a cyborg by mad scientists, but in recent decades has expanded to all kinds of power and interpretations. Whatever the case, the main character is always fundamentally the good guy.

Ozma

Is so excited to be in school with her friends. Determined to live each school day to its fullest.

The Princess of Oz, so if she hears about a problem or a political protest she is there and trying to solve the problem.

You know that Awkward Zombie about Shepherd trying to solve everyone’s problems? That’s Ozma.

Will call Glinda at two in the morning to ask why there’s been a tax hike.

Glinda: “It’s for the public transportation program, remember Sweety? We’ve been over this. Please go to bed.”

That utter Labrador of a friend. You know the one.

Dorothy Gale

Really appreciates the opportunity she’s been given, and does the best she can on the schoolwork.

That said, whenever Ozma goes haring off, that’s where Dorothy is as well.

The only person who can get Ozma to reel it in.

Between the calm niceness and the pretty country girl vibe, is one of the most popular girls on campus. She still hasn’t noticed.

Utterly unflappable. Has not been flapped since she accidentally melted a woman and watched her collapse into a puddle of goop.

Still has the occasional nightmare about that, but overall she’s fine.

Betsy Bobbin

Recently, has come to the conclusion that she is the uninteresting friend. To counter this, she has decided to become interesting.

Has no idea what she’s supposed to do to become interesting.

Tried to join all the clubs and social groups straight out the gate, had to be talked down by Dorothy.

Very nice girl, there’s just a bit of desperation to make sure that Dorothy and Ozma will want to keep being friends with her.

Dorothy and Ozma never stopped wanting to be friends with her. She’s still a little bit wired about it.

Mayre “Trot” Griffiths

Between her attitude, adventuring experience, and Cap’n Bill’s life lessons, a budding swashbuckler is in the process of arising.

Seeing as how there are no swashes to buckle at Shiz, has settled for occasional displays of acrobatic talent and snark.

Lots of snark. Well meaning but holy-oz-is-that-snarky snark.

Actually a fairly diligent student, but still a bit of a daydreamer.

Knows about all the weird places on and off the map. Once accidentally taught a class about Sky Island.

The teacher brought it up. Trot went “Hey, I’ve been there,” and proceeded to get way into the subject.

Button-Bright

Would be a pretty good student if he could get to class.

It’s not technically his fault. He sets out the door, points himself towards the classroom, and completely loses his way.

Once got stuck partway through a vent. No one knows how, not even him.

Trot shares her notes with him, so he’s able to keep up regardless.

Ojo the (Un)Lucky

“WE’RE IN SHIZ! WHY DO NONE OF YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HUGE THAT IS?”

Only Oz native other than Ozma in the gang.

Shiz is big news, he never thought he’d get in. Doesn’t think the others appreciate what they’ve got.

Thinks he’s the sane friend. He isn’t even close.

The sane friend is Dorothy. Trot runs a close second.

Ojo gets fifth place at the highest.

Polychrome

Doesn’t do the classwork.

Doesn’t do the homework.

Doesn’t attend the lectures.

Came to hang out with her friends.

I guess I'm wondering about this because, when you look at media and modern culture, it seems that we've been taught to go into stories looking for a message of empowerment, or of determinism. Our heroines are not just different from the masses in seeking to write their own destiny, they are expected to be different from the masses in some way.

(Incidentally, this is one of my favorite bits from Tress of the Emerald Sea. The main character sees all the girls around her going on about how they're different from other girls, and concludes that she's the "other girl" that they're different from. It's just a clever play on the concept.)

Anyway, when we see Cinderella and her whole situation, the approach of modern media is to look for her to break free of her abusive step-family through her own strength and prove herself to the world. And in the fairy tale of Cinderella, that's not what happens. A magical outside force gives her a nice dress, she goes to a ball, she loses one of her shoes and marries the prince. It's not what the modern world expects us to expect.

And I think part of that is because Cinderella is a story of yesteryear, with values that haven't quite crossed the culture barrier. And to my frustration, I don't feel like I'm completely clear on what the point of Cinderella really is; I can recite what I've read from posts about the story, but those aren't my positions and I haven't done any real study of the story to form that position.

I'm just wondering what the big point of the story is, and how to translate it so that modern audiences will get it.

Anyway. Among the reading of old favorites and the effort of not rewriting characters as I see fit in my brain, I came to pause at the fact that I tend to think of Glinda as being something of a mother figure to Ozma. One's an ancient sorceress of incredible power and wisdom, the other's a fairy princess, you know how it is.

Then the DVD of the new Wicked movie came in at the library. So, rather than Glinda the Good Witch of the South as Ozma's mom, I started imagining Galinda Upland/Glinda the Good in General in that roll instead. Except, what could make it really interesting?

So anyway, Galinda Upland, fresh new student at Shiz, has somehow acquired a small girl that she is attempting to rear from her dorm room. This child may or may not be the rightful heir to the rulership of all Oz, which is a whole different can of worms. Also, she can't stand her new roommate.

Imogen: “Yeah, why are you asking?”

*later*

Imogen: “Hey, guys?”

Bell’s Hells: “Don’t worry, Imogen. We’ll get through this. You’ll get through this. We all believe in you. We love you. We have faith in you. It’s going to be okay. Don’t worry.”

Imogen: “... Yeah. yeah, okay. Thanks. Thank you. Okay.”

Imogen: (was going to ask for a hug)

It’s been a while since I’ve posted one of these, hasn’t it.

At the time I was writing these, I was starting to develop a certain disdain for politics, political parties, and all they involved, something that was almost exacerbated by the fact that (if I recall correctly) it was an election year. That played a part in the “Rock Lee for President” gags that constituted the first story arc (if it can be called that).

--

Riddler: “Rat with wings. He’ll be on Falcone like rats on a piece of rotting meat.” - Gordon: “I mean, people call pigeons ‘feather rats,’ right?” Batman: “Add it to the list.” Cobblepot: “Hey, you guys wanna HONKing untie me yet?”

--

I watched the movie a couple weeks, maybe a month ago. Right around when it first came out. And I have to say, I think that Chris Evans did a great job in the role. I think he captured the character pretty well.

The rest of the movie... oh boy.

You’ve probably seen all the complaints before. That Lightyear is a 2020′s Pixar  movie trying to be a merchandise-driven 1995 movie. The whole Zurg twist. The fact that the movie is about a space adventurer but spends all its time sitting around on one planet (this was a little less of a complaint for me, due to my annoyance with the other details). The whole thing with the sandwiches--what was the point of that?

I think that the biggest problem for me was the fact that Lightyear was intended to be an original work, but clearly expected audiences to come in knowing who Buzz Lightyear is. Heck, the opening text is all about how this is where Andy’s new toy in Toy Story came from. He starts out in a space ranger costume, but without the arm laser or the wings. The arm laser is improvised after a certain point in the movie, and the wings are attached when he ejects from the plane in the climax.

Oh, and that moment. It’s such a “Here is Buzz Lightyear, he’s finally turned into the character you know and love!” moment. Never mind that the original audience wasn’t supposed to know about Buzz Lightyear before this moment. And then the scene of the new space rangers in the original costume that Toy Story Buzz was wearing, arm lasers and jet packs and shiny surfaces. The reward for sitting through the whole movie.

I’ve heard that some people headcanon Lightyear as a darker and edgier reboot of the original film that Andy watched, and I can see it, but the director (I think it was?) says that both Lightyear and Buzz Lightyear of Star Command exist in the Toy Story universe and they are VERY different takes on the character.

Honestly, I feel like Buzz Lightyear is a preexisting property in the Toy Story universe, like a long-running comic book that started in the 60′s or 70′s. Started off with Izzy, Darby, and Mo, but kind of trundled along in a bit of a niche area as kind of a space exploration story. Then when Star Wars came out, a new writer came on and revamped the series X-Men style, replacing the supporting cast with the much more popular Mira Nova, Booster, and XR and leaning way into the fantastical side of sci-fi. The Buzz Lightyear/Star Command comics find their voice and take off in popularity, and the 90′s Buzz Lightyear trilogy and the cartoon draw from this point in the franchise on. Then, decades later, when the new Lightyear movie comes out with the original cast and a plot out of the early era of the comics, you have the fans who complain about the movie not capturing the spirit of the original work and the fans who say that using more obscure elements and hearkening back to the earliest days means that the director is a bigger fan of the original that you, except that by this point in time, the presence of Buzz Lightyear is pretty much a promise of a certain type of story, and Izzy, Mo, and Darby have had their own things going on in the comics and grown beyond the characters in Lightyear as well, and the movie almost deliberately doesn’t deliver on that promise--

PI had a thought about some of the details in Exandria Unlimited: Calamity recently. When I came upon it, I wanted to post it, and a few other thoughts asked if they could join in. So here you go!

As far as I know, Sam Riegel’s character in the current Bell’s Hells campaign, Fresh Cut Grass, is an Aeormaton. These are stated in-universe to have been constructed in the Pre-Calamity city of Aeor. And when I remembered that, I also remembered a detail about F.C.G. that saw a tiny bit of controversy after it started coming into play.

F.C.G. is a cleric, but he claims that all of his cleric abilities are built in. There aren’t any deities involved.

What brought this to mind? Well, in EXU: Calamity, we are introduced to a contemporary of Aeor: the flying city of Avalir. And in Avalir, the divine is treated with... well, if not an air of contempt, not much respect.

The first character we encounter is Zerxus Ilerez, the first knight of Avalir. Zerxus is a somewhat unorthodox paladin, in that he lacks what is mockingly referred to as an “intermediary,” instead drawing power from the people of Avalir themselves (as per the wiki. I can’t remember where this was stated in-episode). When a champion of the Raven Queen, the future legend Purvan Suul, appears, he is regarded as quaint, and people aren’t exactly impressed. Another player character, Patia Por’co, establishes her dim view of the divine within minutes of appearing onscreen.

Functionally, F.C.G. and Zerxus feel very similar, in that they are both classes commonly associated with the divine, produced in a culture and era without respect for the divine.

After this, we come around to the player characters. These people refer to themselves as the “Circle of Brass,” the people who don’t straight up run the city, but the “movers and shakers” who keep Avalir running. In the leadup to the first episode airing, Zerxus and police detective Cerrit Agrupnin were described as the “moral” members of the group. Indeed, the “greyest” action that Cerrit takes is to try and suppress investigation into something big and scary while he investigates on his own. Zerxus, for all that his relationship with his family is strained, comes across as a pretty stand-up guy.

Then we come around to the other characters.

Media magnate Loquatius Seelie turns on the charm whenever he’s on camera, but off of it he’s a bit of a political manipulator, choosing which officials to back and push towards glory--he even notes that he hopes one of them remembers “who put them” in their position. Beyond that, he’s kind of a jerk, and ditches his plus-one at a party in a situation that she has no idea how to deal with. He even makes fun of Purvan’s name!

(As an aside, I really want to see Bolo from Aeor and Aria the assistant hang out at some point)

The other really obvious bad egg is Nydas Okiro, a powerful merchant who, from the very first, is seen to be not a great person. When he needs to fill out an order for wands that he can’t yet, he draws from the school supplies that he maintains for a magic school. When people want payment for services rendered, he puts it off as long as he can. And ultimately, he’s even selling off excess aether (which appears to be illegal, though I’m not completely sure of the implications).

Remember Patia, from before? She’s in on it. When someone comes digging who it turns out shouldn’t know, she’s furious and goes looking for whoever leaked.

Even Laerryn Coramar-Seelie, Architect Arcane, is doing something behind the scenes. She’s excited for the upcoming Apogee due to what it means for a secret project of hers, and she desperately wants to get her hands on the celestial gold bow that’s a part of Cerrit’s investigation.

Zerxus is probably the only one of these people, who’s completely above-board, and even that’s in question considering how closely he works with them.

I saw someone referring to these guys as something along the lines of... “the villains of another campaign,” and it’s a very apt description.

Finally, I also saw a post talking about how everyone in the Circle of Brass is very knowledgeable about their genres, and they’re about to run into something that they straight up aren’t ready for. In particular, Cerrit is a hard-boiled noir detective, who’s going into a thriller. Except that I remember a movie my dad was watching a long time back, about a police investigation that turns up a more demonic culprit than they were expecting. Cerrit’s investigation involves a particularly dangerous wizard by the name of Vespin Chloris, who has gone missing lately... and who appears to threaten Cerrit from beyond a mirror at the tail-end of the episode.

Sounds like the setup for a horror story, if you ask me.

That’s not including Zerxus’s nightmare from the beginning of the episode--one that presents betrayer god Asmodeus (usually portrayed as a villain in Exandria) getting the snot kicked out of him by a surprisingly sinister Pelor. He’s been having these dreams for a while now, and in this latest one he sides with Asmodeus against the cruel and haughty Pelor. It seems that good and evil may be a little more complicated here than previously imagined...

... except.

We don’t know where the dreams are coming from. And we don’t know if they’re on the level.

And if it’s a portent of things to come? Who says that Zerxus will still be a hero when they do?