enzo fernandez red card… i’m the princess of futbol

ok bye :)

anyway did anyone watch this match.. i got my england vs. france and my high goal count and three records were broken on top of that. i am futbol’s favorite child

all this to say i love a girl we never get to really meet i love a girl that’s mostly conjecture and memory and deliberate misrepresentation #dolores #diana #alecto yes even #alison of pll fame. i can’t remember more off the top of my head. lila cerullo both this and something else. really nikki had it best in this department

si me mata q observaciones básicas de los eventos de la película sean consideradas análisis. pero q se yo

and like this is just a me thing but i’m often disappointed that stories of such prolonged horror and violence are uninterested in the aftermath… how does a person live after that, even if there is no recourse or “recovery” to speak of. because like there is a life after it like there was one within it, and it bothers me that nikki is just a seemingly eternal wail after regaining full consciousness and control of herself. it’s. this happened, and it’s over. What then

enjoyed obsession quite a bit. it’s no secret that i delight in the mythologization/mystification of sexual abuse in fiction because i find it such an apt tool to illustrate social responses to victims of sexual violence and, honestly, a victim’s personal relationship with that experience as well. but with nikki there is no cohesive, harmonious continuity to paper over bear’s actions and desires, only a brief montage void of dialogue and context. his was a violent wish and it was always realized in violent ways. nikki does not ever cohere into a fantastical ideal—in fact, every scene in which she is being discussed pathologizes her and places the burden of responsibility for her wellbeing (read: leaving bear alone) on her, the solely unwell party. the lies about her father are found out relatively early into the film. there is no story holding this nikki together, just the force of bear’s wish, which is why i find her turning to a personal retelling of hansel & gretel with incestuous sexual qualities in the middle of a crowded room sooo moving… it is the figurative voice through which the real nikki speaks in the literal voice of wish nikki, perhaps the place where both shadows touch. this tale where the enchantment is the obliteration of formal distance—a distance that still means ownership—in the name of a blissful absolute intimacy that transcends such inequality (“i am more than your wife. i am your sister!”) this tale where the roots of the tree spell violation (“hansel, come lay with me like the old woman taught us when we were children”) this tale this tale this tale. does bear not Create wish nikki? is she not beholden to his love, his attention, his very presence? does bear not negotiate and plead with her the way a father would his daughter? we talked about this. bear suffers and is tormented by the death of his cat—the initial wound at the beginning of everything, the first thing wish nikki bungles (it was her cat that died, no…?)—a turmoil he settles with her, that he at least manages to request a stop to. he asks her to stop. nikki is only able to ask once her wish self is asleep, after reading hansel & gretel to an audience like a bedtime story. the tale, her tale. is this not the only language in which to speak it?