"PERFECT CHILDHOOD?! YOU DON'T BECOME AN AQUISITION SPECIALIST BY HAVING A PERFECT CHILDHOOD!" - The Paladin
Shit my players say

JVL

Love Begins
Sweet Seals For You, Always

Discoholic 🪩
Misplaced Lens Cap
almost home
Sade Olutola
wallacepolsom
Stranger Things
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Product Placement
Peter Solarz
Keni
Jules of Nature

Andulka
taylor price
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

★
sheepfilms

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@reptarqueen
"PERFECT CHILDHOOD?! YOU DON'T BECOME AN AQUISITION SPECIALIST BY HAVING A PERFECT CHILDHOOD!" - The Paladin
Shit my players say

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"I dunno guys, Strahd seems really fixated on us" - The Paladin "Well we're really pretty" - The Bard
Shit my players say
Adventures it’s been a long road but you have finally made it to Ravenloft. The count has been expecting you
It’s so strange how many young people on this website there are who would probably consider themselves to be progressive/liberal but who are constantly touting very conservative, reactionary, and reductive rhetoric, who balk when they’re called out on it and react violently when anyone disagrees with it.
There are so many young people who are pro-censorship to a frightening degree, happy to shame people for not meeting their impossible and subjective standards of morality, who seem to be almost incapable of thinking critically rather than in black and white, emotionally rather than factually based terms, who consider thought-crimes worse than actual actions that people take against others, and who—quite frankly—seem like they’d be absolutely thrilled to live in an Orwellian dystopia because they’re under the ironic belief that if everyone around them is corralled and controlled and forced to live lives based on what they think is pure and wholesome and good then the world will be a perfect place.
There’s such a lack of critical thinking, unwillingness to see nuance in any argument, and just a lack of the basic human understanding that people are different from one another and that one individual experience is not the end all/be all of all experiences on this site that it’s just honestly disturbing and, in many cases, basically cult-like.
And I get that this is a positivity blog and this post might not ‘fit’ here but positivity isn’t just “uwu you’re valid” text set against a pastel pink background, it’s also encouraging people to think and to act and to live in a way that is understanding of other people, to be an open-minded observer to the world and to think critically and be willing to listen and to learn, and there are many, many people on tumblr who not only do not want to do that but who happily embrace their ignorance, their hate, and their refusal to even consider that they could ever be wrong about anything even when the facts are shoved directly under their nose and…that is seriously not a good way to live as an individual and it’s an absolutely harmful impediment to any kind of community or society that people may try to build.
If you want to do something positive in your life and the lives of others and you take any piece of advice from this blog then take this: listen more and talk less, think before you react, try to understand other people and where they’re coming from even in cases where you feel like you’d rather bash your head against the wall than put yourself in their shoes, and try your absolute hardest to unlearn your black and white/all good or all evil thinking (or at least learn how to recognize it and think past it) because I promise you that it’s going to be complete poison to every single aspect of your life if you don’t.
And more than anything don’t be so utterly obsessed with yourself and your opinions and your own certainty that you’re right that you’re unable to ever listen to anyone else or even consider that you might be wrong. Everyone is wrong about something, is ignorant about someone, is an asshole at some time of the day, and you’ve absolutely fucked up the second you think you’re an exception to that.
The year is 2022. You’re driving home from work, wifey calls & asks you to get some diapers for the baby. You grab roses for her. Life’s good. She’s crying in the closet you forgot the diapers what’s she gonna do with roses idiot there’s shit everywhere this is why your parents never loved y
The year is 1351. You’re driving your ship home from work, wifey calls and sends you to the local store to get some rags as diapers for the baby. You grab a bouquet of flowers for her too. Life’s good. You both die from the plague
The year is 2020. You’re driving home in your tractor after voting for Trump, the man of your people. Your sister calls and asks you to get some diapers for the baby you bought from the Walmart parking lot last week. You steal roses for her on your way out. Life’s good
The year is 2068. You’re staring at the most beautiful stranger. She explains to you that she’s your wife. You have dimentia. You smile and take her hand as your grandchildren jump around the room. You’ve lived a good life. Suddenly you’re staring at the most beautiful stranger
Anyway I’m back on my bullshit
The year is 2019. Your fiancé just got you roses in your big house with 3 cars and 5 dogs. You did all this to tweet it with “We’re only 19, what are you doing with your life?” You got 5 retweets. He’s been buying roses instead of food for weeks. You can’t cook. You haven’t eaten in 3 days
The year is 2018. You’re scrolling through Tumblr and you see a post by none other than thebootydiaries. “Goals”, you think to yourself. Yes, this was it. What you’ve been waiting for. Your entire life has led up to this. Your fingers shake as you type your comment. “Goals.” You hit reblog as you’re trembling, the chair squeaking ever so slightly. “I can’t wait to forget diapers, and have dementia.” You sigh. “And buy a house, dogs, and cars. And…and…” goosebumps race through your entire body. “And get the plague.”

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she's gay, harold
The party, a druid named Nyph (me), and a rogue named Gay'dik (my friend), are at a tavern. They just overheard two men talking about a quest.
Nyph: I roll to approach the men and attempt to ask about the quest.
DM, laughing: You role a 1. You attempt to go closer , but end up deciding against it. Besides , a pretty girl had just passed by and seems like your gay ass is gonna pay attention to that for a moment.
Nyph (ooc): yeah that’s something i’d do
Gay'dik (ooc): that’s gay, Nyph
DM (ooc): shes gay, harold
That’s a nice NPC you got there…wouldn’t it be a shame if someone were to….flirt with them…
I'm a hawk. This is all my inner monologue
The Druid
Literally a death trap
Ozwin the Bard on the Amber Temple
"Sounds like a relaxing evening" - The Paladin on being tied up (because lycanthrope) "I don't appreciate the sass" -the Bard "No no it'll be great I can light some candles... run a warm bath" - the Paladin
The Acquisition Specialists

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"Hey guys I might be a werewolf" -The Paladin "You seem pretty nonchalant" -the Bard "I figure I'll just go to bed and hope for the best" - Paladin
The Acquisition Specialists
THANKS WHEEL OF FORTUNE FOR THIS NEW REACTION IMAGE
Bard: I roll for deception and then strength DM: You dont really need deception here but sure I guess Bard: *gets a 20 on Deception and then gets a 3 for strength* Oh cool, I got twenties for both! DM: Excuse me? That’s not- Bard: I never explicitly said WHO I was deceiving *The ensuing argument lasted way longer than needed*
Just kinda wanna be braless and eat fruit in peace tbh
So did Eve and look where that got her
I don’t know about you, but there are days when I could go for being braless, eating fruit and bringing about the downfall of man.
Reblog if all you want to do is be braless and eat fruit and bring about the downfall of man.

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tbh I don’t know why we’re only going after coleslaw. fuck potato salad. fuck macaroni salad. fuck every “‘salad”’ that’s basically just an amalgamation of mayonnaise and nightmares
Do you know what I do every night? What? I sometimes put in my earring and I have conversations with Scanlan. And I know he can’t hear. Well, who talks back? Nobody.