Changing someone who is older requires a lot of sensitivity. They may be indignant, or in denial, that they need a diaper change. Or they may simply be embarrassed at having someone else remind them what they’re wearing. 

When @bbabybbear​ is in diapers for the day (we call it a “break day”), I try to be sensitive when we’re in public, or around her friends. Things like diaper checks in public are simply not appropriate for older girls like her. They can be very unproductive and humiliating, or cause a lot of resistance to being changed. Unfortunately, the simple fact is that she needs to be reminded about her diapers, because she doesn’t always know when she needs to be changed. She often doesn’t tell me when she’s wet, or flat-out denies that she’s had an accident. Then, when I check her, I’ll find out that she is soaking wet and could have leaked. This, no doubt, leads to a less-than-civil diaper change, with lots of squirms and protests.

That’s why I try to use more age-appropriate language with her. If we’re in public, and it’s been a while since I last checked her, I’ll ask her something like, “Hey, do you wanna come with me for a second?” I’ll then take her hand and guide us to a more private setting. I’ve found that this is much less potentially embarrassing for her, and leads to fewer hysterics. If she then tells me that she needs a change, I don’t need to check her diaper in public at all, and we can just head straight to the family restroom or bedroom.

An update on keeping @bbabybbear in diapers during our vacation. It took a day or two for her to realize that she would be wearing diapers for the whole week. She did protest a little, but at that point we had had a lot of soaked nights, and a couple of big accidents during the day. I reassured her that she could ask to take her diaper off if she wanted to use the bathroom during the day. But I also told her that it was okay to just use her diapers, and that I wouldn’t be disappointed if she didn’t make it. I figured it was for the best not to make a big deal out of the change.