One day the stars will all go out You're right, you're right, you're right
Be still Lie at peace
While I Reapply your bandage
Claire Keane
hello vonnie
wallacepolsom
🪼
taylor price
Stranger Things


Kaledo Art
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
AnasAbdin
dirt enthusiast
Monterey Bay Aquarium

#extradirty
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
DEAR READER
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Mike Driver
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

ellievsbear

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States
seen from Greece
seen from United States

seen from Sri Lanka
seen from United States
seen from Argentina

seen from United States

seen from Iraq

seen from Malaysia

seen from France

seen from Germany

seen from United States

seen from Japan
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States

seen from India
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seen from United States
@reogan
One day the stars will all go out You're right, you're right, you're right
Be still Lie at peace
While I Reapply your bandage

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Seeking Doorman
Interviewer: So, how are your core competencies?
Candidate: Bad. I have at least once slipped up.
The interviewer's eyebrows raise, and he marks something down on his clipboard.
Interviewer: Are you aware that this job requires being on your feet for several hours a day?
Candidate: No.
Interviewer: Please state the weight of clothing that you would be unable to wear, for the duration of a 12 hour shift.
Candidate: I couldn't handle 50 pounds.
Interviewer: Oh no, no, I can set your mind at ease. We're well funded. The helmets are a little bulky, but the shirt is chain. The whole ensemble is maybe, oh, 15 pounds. Nobody ever attacks, anyway.
Candidate: That's a shame.
The interviewer gives the candidate a strange look. Then he lets out a brief aspiration, nods quietly, and returns to the clipboard.
Interviewer: Work well on a team of two?
Candidate: I have fewer than ten years of experience of doing so.
Interviewer: And what were you doing before this?
Candidate: I wasn't one of two henchmen for a warlord, one of whom was tall and skinny and the other short and fat, that's for sure.
The interviewer studies the candidate's physique for a moment, trying to determine from a seated position whether this neither-skinny-nor-fat guy is tall.
Candidate: I was the fat one.
Interviewer: You understand that you'd have to rein in the repartee for this role, yes?
Candidate: I refuse to do this.
Interviewer: Can you be a little clearer?
Candidate: I will speak out of turn.
Interviewer: Perfect. Really all I needed. Well, seems like the serum is working great, no signs of allergy, so as far as I'm concerned, you can start today. Any questions for me?
The candidate shifts in his seat, and clears his throat.
Candidate: What if they ask me if there's a God?
The interview frowns at his clipboard. He hasn't been interviewing for this role for very long, and his predecessor didn't leave very good notes. He clears his throat.
Candidate: What if they ask me what the other guy wouldn't say, if they asked him the meaning of life? Or if they ask me if they should get married to each other, if it's a couple?
The interviewer interjects, still rifling through his notes.
Interviewer: We almost never get couples.
Candidate: What if they ask me whether good or evil is greater on balance, or whether there is greater beauty in the sunset or sunrise, or how best to live?
Interviewer: Oh come on. That last one's easy. Just tell them to drink cyanide every morning, or to burn down their own house every night.
Candidate: The gap between is and ought is so easily crossed.
Interviewer: Oh, I don't know. Just tell them you know the answer.
As he says this, the interviewer finds the place in his notes that says that this role must not demur in such a way.
Interviewer: Scratch that. Come on, man. They won't ask any of that. They'll ask about the doors. They know you're not, like, an oracle.
Candidate: I didn't go to oracle school.
The interviewer and candidate exchange a look, as if to say to each other, well of course you're here, then, applying for this might as well be minimum wage role in the middle of nowhere, because both know the job prospects for a typical graduate of oracle school.
Interviewer: Oh, actually, it's right here. The first time a question is off topic, you're supposed to be silent. The second time a booming voice will warn them to stay on topic. The third time you still aren't supposed to answer, but it counts as their question and they have to guess with no information.
Candidate: Great. Sorry for the trouble.
Interviewer: Oh come on, don't be like that. Do you want the job or not?
Candidate: No.
They shake hands, and the candidate reports to his post that very day. A band of adventurers arrives not long after.
"One of these guards always tells the truth," a voice booms out to greet them, "and the other..."
I have a very "I paid for this blender so everything getting blent" attitude about owning a mortar and pestle. I didn't pay for these beautiful tools of smooth black-grey granite just to have them sit on a shelf, these beauties are getting used at every excuse. I'll use them to mush chickpeas, I'm this close to using them to make mashed potatoes. There's just something so grounding and inherently human about it, I'm using two rocks to grind up seeds and nuts like they did back in the day when my ancestors were shagging neanderthals.
I just don't give a fuck, everything getting pestled. This is the act that made us human. I'm gonna make these two rocks do the chewing for me to spend less headspace for big jaw and more headspace for big brain. Crunch crunch bitch, I'm about to go prehistoric on your ass.
discord letting you have custom emoji has really ruined my ability to communicate effectively on other apps. what do you mean i cant send jalute. what about givehand. cryingpat. torment. sittinghere. tvek. cant even send my wonderful beloved frogheart. whats the bloody point
calvin and hobbes
"You misspelled Weltanschauung" is one of the funniest punchlines I've ever encountered.
one of my faves

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a compilation of posts that contributed to my conversion
image descriptions in alt
For those who have missed it, a tourist in Hawaii decided it would be fun to chuck a rock (a BIG rock) at a monk seal. He missed, but he was captured on video, and when told it was illegal to interfere with them, said "I'm rich, I can pay the fine."
Is the best part that he got doxxed? No.
Is the best part that he got tracked down by a local and beaten? No.
Arrested on state at federal charges, looking at up to 5 years and 50K? Nope.
The best part is the local city council's reaction.
And the best part of that is the look on the attorney's face.
Important rules for the "age verification" era of the internet that we're living in:
1. Do not do age verification.
2. If you have to do age verification, cheat. Do not under any circumstances give them your real ID.
Have A Nice Day!
rb to 今日はhave a nice day
a collection of moments from the translated trial of Joan of Arc from 1431 that are fucking iconic of her:
‘And then did We forbid Jeanne, without Our permission, to leave the prison which had been assigned to her in the Castle, under pain of the crime of heresy. “I do not accept such a prohibition,” she answered; “if ever I do escape, no one shall reproach me with having broken or violated my faith, not having given my word to any one, whosoever it may be.”’
“Was he naked?” “Do you think God has not wherewithal to clothe him?”
“I have always answered that you will not drag this from my lips. Go and ask it of him.”
“You shall not have anything more at present.” (she gave variations of this response all throughout the trial/examinations. basically if she felt that god had not given her permission to speak on a subject, she just wouldn’t. she did not seem to acknowledge the authority of those questioning and judging her at all, which makes sense. She also frequently replied “that is not your Case” which I think is basically her saying that’s not relevant to this trial so none of your business.)
“I promise to speak truth on what touches your Case; but the more you constrain me to swear, the later will I tell you.”
“Who induced you to have cited a man of the town of Toul on the question of marriage?” “I did not have him cited; it was he, on the contrary, who had me cited; and then I swore before the Judge to speak the truth. And besides, I had promised nothing to this man.”
“If it should be that I am taken to Paris, grant, I pray you, that I may have a copy of my questions and answers, so that I may lend them to those at Paris, and that I may be able to say to them: ‘Thus was I questioned at Rouen; and here are my answers : in this way, I shall not have to trouble again over so many questions.”
“Did you give, or cause to be given, money to him who took Franquet?” “I am not Master of the Mint or Treasurer of France to pay out money so.”
“Upon the oath that you have taken, tell us, how did you think to escape from the Castle of Beaulieu between two planks of wood ?” “Never was I prisoner in such a place that I would not willingly have escaped. Being in that Castle, I should have shut my keepers in the tower, if it had not been that the porter espied me and encountered me.”
“If I had leave to go in woman’s dress, I should soon put myself back in man’s dress and do what God has commanded me: I have already told you so. For nothing in the world will I swear not to arm myself and put on a man’s dress; I must obey the orders of Our Lord.”
“Do you know if Saint Catherine and Saint Margaret hate the English?” “They love what God loves: they hate what God hates.” (I know that this is all about nationalism during war but this is still hilarious to me. like goddamn, okay! Also I have to note that the examiner follows up with “does God hate the English?” and she basically says she cannot know but I want does God hate the English on a tshirt)
“I had that ring in my hand and on my finger, when I touched Saint Catherine as she appeared to me.” “What part of Saint Catherine?” “You will have no more about it.” “Did you ever kiss or embrace Saint Catherine or Saint Margaret?” “I have embraced them both.” “Did they smell good?” “It is well to know, they smelled good.” “In embracing them, did you feel any heat or any thing else?” (yo WHY is this examiner such a FREAK stop being weird my dude!!!)
“I took it of my own free will, and with no constraint: I prefer a man’s dress to a woman’s dress.” (mood)
So struck by how she really did not see those prosecuting (and persecuting) her as valid authorities and she was not subtle about it. However you see Joan and the voices she heard, she was a brave and bold and relatably snarky 19 year old telling the people who did not accept her belief nor her existence as we would likely now see as a mentally ill/psychotic young woman in society to fuck off.
#I also love when she said it was a prisoners right to escape and she would still try if the opportunity arose she’s so real for that (@folieonhigh)
yes!! I love that too.
“It is true I wished to escape; and so I wish still; is not this lawful for all prisoners?”

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I am well aware of how common "Magyar" is a last name but it's sooo fucking funny your nationalist authoritarians literally lost the election to "the Hungarian". Could not write a more on-the-nose antifascists parable. The corrupt political elites falling in the face of Mr Will Of the People
literally Hungarian Pete it's so funny. imagine if in the usa the guy who gets their authoritarian president out of office was named Johnny America. modern folklore vibes.
It's giving me a bit Charles de Gaulle. Same type of appropriate naming.
Dang rip America
This is the /an/ post that keeps on giving.
This is better than anything I’ve ever made.
Post that lives in my head rent free
Absolutely THRILLED that this post is making the rounds again.
turn on the sound
narnia has actually way too many completely devastating concepts in it that are not explored At All
We talk a lot about how in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, the Pevensie children live full adult lives as kings and queens of narnia before stumbling out of the wardrobe by accident and being children again after like 15+ years. But I’ve never seen the same level of analysis devoted to how in Prince Caspian they return to Narnia and discover that over 1,000 years have passed in Narnia since their last visit.
Imagine undergoing the grief of losing an entire life you lived in another world, being forced back into the body of a child and to grow up all over again without the ability to even talk about what happened in the decades you lost. Every person you knew and loved, vanished, leaving no indication they were ever real and no guide for how to move on.
But returning to that world where you were a King or Queen and discovering that centuries have passed without you and that the people you lost are not only dead, but mostly aren’t even remembered? That’s almost worse.
That series is really something for “worldbuilding threads picked up and never touched again” too like
in the silver chair it’s confirmed that deep underneath the earth in narnia there’s a molten, fiery abyss world called Bism that is apparently populated and also apparently gemstones are living creatures that live there, and what we understand as diamonds, emeralds, rubies etc. are just the discarded husks of once living creatures
Jadis is actually not originally from Narnia, but accidentally gets sent there at its creation (making her one of the oldest beings in narnia) and she annihilated all life in her world of origin. she also very much does go to literal actual London and terrorize people. she is like 7 feet tall and can tear iron with her bare hands like it’s taffy.
Jadis makes it “Always winter and never Christmas”…what the FUCK is her beef with Father Christmas. I know it’s supposed to be like a metaphor or some shit but I’m imagining what exactly the fuck must have happened between them for jadis to specifically want to prevent him from coming to narnia to the extent that her powerful seasonal-change-stopping magic also includes a “fuck that guy in particular” clause.
like think about it, Jesus is not a thing in narnia, he’s just aslan. and aslan did not get born. ergo, the origin of such a concept as Christmas is the entity Father Christmas. Christmas is not a religious holiday to Narnians it has no symbolic meaning it is just specifically the time of year when Father Christmas fucks around across the landscape giving children gifts, such as very deadly real weapons. There’s no reason for him to do this. It’s just what he does. And Jadis fucking hates it.
another thing from the magicians nephew that is never brought up again is that Polly and Digory don’t go directly to Narnia, they end up in this intermediate place between the worlds that’s like a forest full of pools leading to other worlds, potentially infinite other worlds, and they end up in Narnia pretty much at random.
I think it’s also confirmed that Archenlanders were originally from Earth, and are the descendants of a small group of people who traveled to Narnia by accident and got stuck. One wonders why Aslan didn’t whisk them back out. Or why being too old wasn’t a problem for them.
I think this is early installment weirdness but there are Roman gods in narnia. ?????
stars are sentient???
narnia is flat. this is not actually an unresolved thread but I don’t think it’s common knowledge even though in one of the books they literally sail to the edge of the world. caspian specifically thinks it’s super cool that the earth is round
I LOVE the whole concept of Bism. Like Lewis really just said oh yeah there’s a whole world under Narnia where people live and jewels are alive too actually you wear dead ones in your jewellery and then no one ever spoke about it again, not even the fandom
No wonder this series infuriated Tolkien so much. Lewis just threw paint at a wall and jokingly asked the man who’d spent a decade on a single painting if he liked it.
Holy shit there is a lot about Narnia I don’t know.
Writer’s block? Why not try peppering panpsychism into your atheist-turned-christian young adult literature and never addressing it again?
So many fics, so little time.
Fun fact about the woods between worlds thing and what the inspiration behind it was:
This is an illustration of it from the book.
And THIS is a forest full of shell craters from WW1. Which C.S Lewis fought in as a teenager.
I’m sorry @stargirl-and-potts I couldn’t leave your tags there 🥹

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the mountain goats trying not to hurt people
[Transcript:
And I’m an eighteen wheeler headed down the interstate / And my brakes are gonna give and I won’t know till it’s too late / Tires screaming when I lose control / Try not to hurt too many people when I roll
And I know, I know you don’t want me to hurt you tonight / And I, I don’t want you to hurt me the way you do
I am right here where you want me / Do what you brought me out here for / You can arm me to the teeth / You can’t make me go to war
Fight my way back down, don’t want to hurt anyone / Probably gonna have to before it’s all done
End transcript]
happy 20 year anniversary of Neil banging out the tunes!
though every rat is special, it's a wonderful and unusual thing for their accomplishments to be remembered and cherished by so many people so many years later. we're all so fortunate to know about the rat who banged out the tunes!
thank you to all the people who sent me reference photos of their beloved rats for this piece!!! credits under the cut!