happy gentle tremor

“Did I really just say that out loud?” You murmur to nothing in particular. You hear rapid texting from where Jaehyun was standing in the middle of the apartment, and you look up to see him frantically hitting the send button before lightly smacking his own forehead with his phone.

“Congrats, it only took you,” the boy fake counts with his hand, “ten centuries to realise.” He walks back to the small dining table with the delivery bag and brings it to Leehan’s living room.

“Jaehyun, are you seriously eating here? Why can’t you do this at your own apartment?” You watch as he lays out trays of kimbap on Leehan’s wooden coffee table. Seriously, why did Jaehyun have so much kimbap trays?

“I had a ton of kimbap delivered since I finally got my first paycheck, but seeing this new revelation,” he places the last tray on the table, “It’s time for the next stage of the plan..”

“Plan? What plan? And who the hell did you just text?”

It was quite comedic having the four of you in the apartment without the actual person who lived there present. What was funnier was that neither Sungho or Taesan questioned why Jaehyun told them to meet at Leehan’s apartment. They just waltzed straight in in their home clothes after Jaehyun let them in and told them to dig in.

You sat on one end of the sofa while Taesan took the other end, and Jaehyun and Sungho took the floor. You each had your share of food before Taesan put his chopsticks down.

“Does anyone care to explain why we’re all here right now?” Taesan looks pointedly at Jaehyun. The older boy scoffs after he swallows his bite of food.

“I told you! It’s the next step of the plan! If these two idiots were blind enough to not admit it until now, we need to make sure they don’t jeopardise this stage!”

“Jaehyun, I’m literally right here.” You deadpan. You catch Sungho almost choking on his drink from your comment, but he recovers to ask you,

“y/n, do you remember what I said about Leehan and his Corydoras when you first met him?”

You think back briefly with effort, remembering Sungho and Taesan helping Leehan when he first moved in.

“Yeah? I guess? You said ‘nothing comes in between Leehan and his fishes’ or something but what does this have to do with anything?” You groan as you lean your head back against Leehan’s sofa. Sungho doesn’t miss a beat as he continues,

“Leehan quite literally does not trust anyone except Taesan to feed and take care of his fishes when he can’t. He doesn’t even let Woonhak or Jaehyun anywhere near the tank!” Sungho jokingly glares in Jaehyun’s direction at the end of his sentence. Jaehyun pretends to reel back a punch.

“What he’s saying is that Leehan trusts you,” Taesan adds on as he looks at you, “Hell, I didn’t actually think he’d ask you to take care of them for real. I only found out because he told me he got someone else to take care of them while he’s gone. And it couldn’t have been Sungho ‘cause he wasn’t at home at all yesterday, and Jaehyun and the others were obviously out of the question so I could only assume it was you.”

You rub your temple in response as the boys laid out everything.

“Guys, can we just stop to think that maybe, just maybe, Leehan asked me because I’m quite literally a door away?” You said crossing your arms, and the boys look at you like you’ve committed the biggest crime. Taesan groans, showing the most emotion he had for the past 10 minutes they’ve been in the apartment.

“Oh my god, how many times do I have to say this,” Taesan sighs exasperated, lightly smacking his palm against the soft armchair of the sofa,“this is Leehan we’re talking about. He has to do things a certain way. He always has me to look after his fish when he can’t, he always asks Sungho for groceries when he’s missing something, he never orders from the cafe, he always goes home at the same time on certain days so he never stays back on campus— which I hope you’ve noticed at least.” You don’t reply but you shake your head internally.

Taesan continues,”Leehan has never gone out of his way this much before. Not until he met you. And to trust practically a random person when I was readily available speaks volumes. Now, is that enough explanation?”

Everything that was all muddled in your head finally pieced together and all your intrusive and delusional thoughts about the boy suddenly didn’t seem too far from the truth. You groan for what seems like the thousandth time in the past hour. Taesan was still looking at you with a judgemental stare,

“I guess I don’t have a reason to not believe you, then.” You simply say, “So? What am I supposed to do now?” Jaehyun seems to perk up at that and obnoxiously clears his throat.

“You tell him you like him, of course. Oh, Leehan with a love interest? I can’t believe this is happening!” Jaehyun is practically vibrating in his spot on the floor as Sungho looks like he’s very close to slapping him.

——

Leehan finds his gifts for you, wrapped in some of his (clean and washed) clothes in his small suitcase to protect it, and he places it behind his back on the sofa. Just in time, you come back in through the door with ease.

You don’t even get time to settle down on the couch properly when Leehan hands you a yellow gift bag. You take the bag from him with hesitance as he gives you a warm smile and a tilt of his head for you to open it.

“It’s not much, but I hope it’s useful.” The boy says as you look at him. You reach in for the gift from the bag, it’s soft in your hands before you take out a pair of yellow baking gloves and a matching pot holder with little cute alien-cat cartoons patterned on the fabric. Mentally you gasp, but you must’ve done it out loud because Leehan fails to hold in his laugh. Regardless, you smile at his very thoughtful gift.

“Funny you gave me these ‘cause I actually made you some of these again.” You put down his gift on your lap, and you show the boy a container you were hiding behind you.

Leehan, ever so kind, takes the container with a smile he couldn’t suppress.

“I can’t lie, I missed these whenever my family would bring cookies home. They just don’t taste the same.” Leehan sounds like he’s teasing, but he would never lie to you, especially about your baking.

You laugh lightly to hide your embarrassment. You were about to put the bag aside when you felt something shift inside it. Out of curiosity, you reach in the bag again removing the tissue paper to reveal a small, simple wooden jewellery box. You look up at Leehan to see him looking back at you with an unsaid softness in his eyes.

He sees your hesitation, so he beckons you to open the box.

“It’s not much, but I couldn’t help thinking of you when I saw it. And it’s a ‘thank you’ for looking after my fish while I was away.”

A ‘thank you’. You remember what the others had said about Leehan, how he only ever let Taesan look after his pets. You push the thoughts to the back of your mind and you open the jewellery box. Inside was an off-white pearl coloured shell charm with a slight purple over tone along the body. The white thread of the necklace lovingly complimented the shell. Subconsciously, you traced the shell with your finger.

Meanwhile, Leehan’s heart was racing. He remembers what his friends said. ‘Just be honest’. More and more he wonders why he bit the bullet and bought you something in the first place. Because, god, what if you hated the gift? What if you hated necklaces? What if you hated the beach? What if he’s reading all of this wrong?

“Oh Leehan…” You trail off as your heart started racing, not knowing the boy’s heart was beating just as speedily, “you really got this for me?”

He coughs awkwardly. God damn it. “I— well, I thought maybe my first gift wasn’t enough even though I was 80% sure you’d use it anyway. But I saw these necklaces and I thought they were pretty and you’re pretty too so I thought maybe you’d like it—“

“Leehan.”

“But seriously, I debated which colour you’d like the most because I don’t think I’ve even asked you what your favourite colour is? So I thought this would compliment y—“

“Leehan! Slow down, geez!” You reached out to grab his arm lightly to stop his rambling and only then he stopped running his mouth. He visibly gulps as he looks at you embarrassed.

“S-sorry I was just… really nervous. But, yeah. Well, I hope you like it.”

“Are you kidding? This is one of the nicest things I’ve ever received. Hell, I don’t think the other boys could have made up something so sweet,” Leehan chuckles lightly despite himself, “But, I do have to ask…”

Oh god, here we go. “What is it?”

You pause and couldn’t even meet his eyes as you took the necklace out of the jewellery box. “Did you mean what you said? That you got it because you thought I was… well. What you said?”

Leehan immediately reddens. Screw it.

“I did. I like you, y/n. And I really appreciate you. I think you’re really cool. Plus, I do think you’re pretty.” he says the last part quietly. You don’t say a word, Leehan panics inside. He dares to look up at you only to be met with you wearing the softest smile.

“I like you too, Leehan. I really thought I was… reading this wrong. But I guess the boys were right all along.”

Leehan’s brain skids to a halt. Wait.

“T-the guys? They were in on it too?” Leehan blurts, surprised. You realised immediately the can of worms you opened.

“Oh, don’t tell me they’ve been bothering you about it too.” Your hand covers your mouth in surprise. Leehan could only stare at you in disbelief before he groaned into his hands.

You laugh incredulously. “Well, I guess there’s a group of people we should thank for.”

“Hey, don’t forget about the one who gave and thought of these gifts for you!” Leehan shoots, head no longer in his hands and makes you laugh. You both fall to silence.

“May I?” Leehan beckons to the necklace still in your hand. You nod shyly, and he takes the jewellery from your hand before standing behind you from where you were seated on the couch. Carefully, he patiently circles the necklace around your neck, and clasps the end with little trouble. He sits back down in front of you and you touch the shell charm with your finger again.

Feeling bold, Leehan gently holds your hand touching your necklace, brings it to his lips and leaves a feather-light kiss on your knuckle before you shyly push your hands down to the couch, but as if Leehan read you, he places your hands on his lap.

“You know,” a little raspy as if all the air had been knocked out of your body, “when you asked to hang out just the two of us when you got back, this really wasn't what I had in mind.” You lean back on the couch, but your hand never leaves his. Leehan suppresses a smile at the memory.

“Well then, let’s do it for real. Tomorrow. How does that sound?”

You smile shyly again. “Sounds good to me.”

Out of curiosity, Leehan stands from where he was sitting and walks over to the old lady’s stall which was in the middle of a row of five stalls. This one in particular was the most ear-catching despite being one of the stalls in the middle. The old lady smiles up at Leehan as he eyes the wind chimes and the necklaces. A particular one catches his eye. Attached to the metal chain of the necklace was a real spiral shell pendant with a pink hue, the protective sheen on the necklace shone against the setting sun.

“Is there something you like, young man?” Leehan could hear the smile in the old lady’s voice. He takes in the old lady’s appearance: a mute red shawl to shield her from the wind against her black dress, pearl earrings on her lobes and a multiple spiral shell necklace similar to the one he was eyeing on display.

“I like the shell necklaces, it’s simple but very pretty.” Leehan comments as he touches the pink hued necklace again. The old lady leans over to see which necklace the boy had been eyeing and she hums.

“That would look beautiful on you, boy.” The old lady comments, “is it for you?”. Leehan feels his face warm.

“Well, I— it’s for someone else.” Leehan murmurs awkwardly. The old lady laughs, a knowing glint in her eyes with the way Leehan is fidgeting with the bag already in his hands.

“Well, whoever it is you give it to, young man, I am sure they will love it. Even more special since it’s by the beach this very shell was found.”

Leehan contemplates before he nods, and asks for the price. The lady graciously accepts the money and fusses over Leehan’s insistence of her keeping the change. Leehan wins in the end, the lady smiles to herself over the charming boy in front of him. Leehan couldn’t help but ask, 

“Sorry to ask but, let’s say you give a gift, like this necklace, as a gift. What would you think that means?”

The lady smiles, “Well. You see, young man, I’ve been selling these necklaces for a long time. And I’ve learnt from many people that giving someone a heartfelt gift is the most honest thing a person could do.”

Honest.

“And a necklace. One of the most romantic gifts, I’d say. Not to be biased, of course.” Leehan laughs along with the lady.

“But really. If it means something to you, and it’s the right person? They’ll know it, young man.”

——

The rest of the trip goes slowly but it gives Leehan a chance to wind down, something the suburbs can give him but a city like Seoul could never. Leehan spends his afternoons with his nephew and his parents, simple affairs he gets to enjoy before he makes his way back to Seoul. The words of the old lady by the beach, however, lingers in the back of his mind. The lady hadn’t even mentioned a name, yet he thought of you.

There was a day his mother came back with biscuits from a cafe he frequented before he moved away. The biscuits were the ones he compared to your ‘housewarming biscuits’, as he so affectionately refers to in his head. But when he takes a bite, the biscuit feels too rough and even a bit too sweet. Did it always taste like this? Or did his infatuation with you just made him prefer your baking over anything else now? 

The thoughts made him giddy but also made him want the ground to swallow him whole. That way, he’ll never have to face his feelings since he has no clue how to deal with his unrelenting crush on his next door neighbour. He left you with his precious pets for goodness’ sake! The only other person he trusted with his pets was Taesan, who he had originally planned on asking whilst he was away on this trip until Sungho’s suggestion on having you take care of them instead.

And yet, there he was. Contemplating life over biscuits and a necklace.

Even with the turmoil, Leehan still tries to be a kind person. So he shoots you a text, realising he hasn’t messaged since he left two days ago. It didn’t help his nervousness though.

‘hi y/n, hope you’re doing well, and the fishies too :>, thanks again for looking after them’

He looks back at the biscuits he was eating and decides he won’t eat them anymore for today knowing yours were way better anyway. Your reply comes quickly,

‘we’re doing well! i just fed them actually. hope you’re having fun!’

You also attached a selfie of the side of your face and the fish tank, looking as pristine as Leehan had left it. He smiles at the photo, and reacts to the picture with a little fish emoji, which apparently in Leehan terms is an equivalent to a heart..

‘i got you something as promised, it’s not much but it’s the least i could do :’)’

‘omg leehan really you shouldn’t have :(‘

‘it took me a while to actually think of it haha’

‘i think i’ll like anything you give me really… but how’s busan? you eaten yet?’

You both text for a while, Leehan telling you of his nephew and the beach while you tell him about the stray cats around your apartment building the last few days. Leehan catches himself smiling, which he had to mask when his sister came home so he wouldn’t look too suspicious for her to question him about what’s so funny about his phone as he rapidly texts back.

——

If only that old lady at the stall knew about the turmoil going on in his head, and the nervousness Leehan felt by the end of the next day when he got back from Busan back to Seoul. Leehan swears he can hear the old lady giggling as he parks his car in the apartment building’s basement. Kinda creepy if you ask him.

He ludges his small suitcase into the elevator, oddly reminiscent of the time he first moved into the apartment a few months ago. It was around 7pm, a bit later in the evening than he would have liked but considering he left Busan later than he had planned, there wasn’t much he could do. The boy reaches his floor with the ding of the elevator, and walks to his apartment down the hall. He keys in his code at the door and quickly realises the light at the entryway was on. Odd.

His instincts tell him to slowly open the door and peek around his own home, albeit a little stiff. But his body relaxes when he sees your figure sitting at his small dining table, head down on your arms and facing away from the door. It looked like you were sleeping, so Leehan left his small suitcase by the door so as to not disturb you. ‘Cute’ Leehan couldn’t help but think as he walked slowly towards the dining table. Judging by your position, he assumes you fell asleep watching the fish tank. He stiffened again, standing still as he tried to figure out what to do as looked over at your figure hunched over that was definitely sleeping. Very peacefully. In his own home. Leehan was trying hard not to lose his mind. He swears he hears the old lady laugh at him again.

Eventually, Leehan slowly approaches your side and lays a gentle hand on your arm, softly calling your name, tapping your arm slowly. You stir groggily and slightly flinch from the familiar voice as you put your head up and see Leehan’s eyes looking at you.

“I’m awake, I’m awake I promise.” You groan as you put your head down again on your arms and you hear Leehan laugh. His hand lingers on your arm, it feels like it’s burning through your skin.

“Mhm, sure you are, and don’t worry. I just got here.” Leehan says with humour. You groan again before finally sitting up and rubbing your face with the back of your hand as the boy next to you lets go of your arm. You would never admit you missed that simple gesture. You stretch your neck and suppress a yawn.

“M’sorry, I must’ve fallen asleep just sitting here watching the fish. I didn’t realise you’d be back by now, seriously. God, this is embarrassing.” You bury your head in your hands, refusing to look at Leehan as he gently pats your back, before backing away to grab his suitcase. 

“No, no it’s okay,” You hear Leehan walk back to the door followed by the rolling of his suitcase, “I’ve done the same thing, except too many times to count.” He sheepily admits as you turn to look at him.

“You eaten yet?” You ask him. As if on cue, Leehan feels his stomach grumble and feels his face go red.

“I… I was kinda in a rush to get back and kinda forgot to eat. Have you?” You feel embarrassed all over again.

“Well, I mean. I fell asleep so...” you trail off and Leehan laughs a little bit at your state again, still sleepy around the edges and tousled hair. He pulls out his phone and immediately goes through his food delivery app.

“What do you feel like eating?” He asks as he doesn’t look up from his phone. You catch a sliver of his screen to see him scrolling through an app you recognised too well. Well, that’s the university life, really.

“Me? No, no, no seriously, it’s fine. Leehan, you must be tired. I’m gonna go back n—“

“Oh my god, sit down. I know you’re as hungry as I am. Now, come on and help me choose before I choose raw fish again.” Though in Leehan’s head, he just needed an excuse for you to stay longer.

You and Leehan end up buying a bossam set, choosing maybe he should have some variety after having mostly seafood in Busan. Plus, he really couldn’t say ‘no’ when he saw your ‘knowing look’ when he mentioned bossam.

So there you two were, on his living room floor on his carpet, eating bossam while the TV played random travel vlogs about scuba diving on YouTube. The food is gone rather quickly, not realising just how hungry you both were.

“Leehan, let me pay you back for this.” You insist as you finish the last of your meal.

The boy across from you sighs and reluctantly agrees, letting you relish in your short-lived happiness before he mentions,

“Then let me give you your gift now.” You look up at him just as you finish sending him money on your phone. You stood up from your spot on the floor, Leehan looks at you questioningly.

“Two can play at that game. I’ll be back, don’t move!.” You rush over to the door, and slipped your sandals on before making your way to your apartment a few steps away. Leehan finally realises that you probably got him (or possibly even made him) a gift just to counter him. So he takes a final bite and rushes to open his luggage that was conveniently next to him. He remembers Sungho’s words from before he left for Busan.

“Well, if she wonders why you asked her to take care of your fish and not us instead, just be honest.”

An odd wave of confidence rushes over Leehan. Yeah. Maybe he should do it.

Leehan’s a bit off today, you observe. He talks as much as he usually does, but his smile doesn’t reach his eyes like they usually did. Now that you think about it, his smiles yesterday weren’t as quaint either. The boy took to wearing his glasses today, but it doesn’t do much to hide the bags under his eyes, nor to distract from the way he slurs his words a bit today out of an obvious tiredness.

“I think that’s all of it. But seriously, if you need anything, just text me.” Leehan says to you while you insist that it’s really not a problem.

This wasn’t your first time in his apartment, but Leehan was still jittery because of his crush! In his own house! Showing her a hobby that he never really opened up to a lot of people about!

Consequently, Leehan can’t help but recall a conversation from a few weeks ago, the same week when he had embarrassingly showed up to your doorstep asking for ingredients for his dinner.

——

“y/n, I think I like her.”

The line is silent, and a part of Leehan’s sanity comes back to him at the words he just blurted out. A crush. On his neighbour. Someone that he hardly knows. Mortifying to Leehan at least. The silence was almost killing him.

“Sungho? Are you still th—“

“About time you doofus!,” Sungho cuts him off with a shriek, “you and y/n’s heart eyes for each other were giving us high-blood pressure for goodness sake.”

“Us? Who’s us?”

Sungho scoffs at Leehan’s question, “Me and Taesan, duh. And probably Jaehyun too at this point. Don’t you know how hard we’ve tried to be subtle in helping you? God, I didn’t know y/n was this oblivious either, y’all really are meant for each other.”

“Helping? What on this earth have you been helping me with this whole time?”

Sungho groans, loud this time that Leehan has to remove himself from the speaker for a second. “The study session, leaving you alone with her. That ring a bell? Oh, and the chai latte. Leehan, I’ve known you for how long now, if I really wanted to get you something to eat I would’ve just gotten you those gummies you hoard.”

Leehan doesn’t even take a mild offence because he was too busy confirming his suspicions.

“So you were trying to sabotage me! Embarrass me in front of her and everything!”

“Oh good Lord, Leehan.” Sungho drags a hand down his face, “This was a plot for you to get closer to her! God, are you really that much of an idiot that I have to tell it to you like this straight up? I’ve never seen her so nervous, the way she looks at you like she’s mesmerised for some effed up reason. and the cooki— oh my god those cookies were the first fucking sign, I can’t believe yo—”

“Wait, hold on. Those cookies? I thought she made them for everyone.” Leehan leans back in his chair looking at the ceiling trying to process every interaction with you for the last few weeks.

“Well, yeah, she does,” Sungho says a little calmer, “but the last time she made those types of cookies were for Woonhak’s graduation and she wouldn’t stop complaining how time-consuming they were to make. Leehan. She likes you. So much that she’d make cute little biscuits for you and not give the rest of us. You know, like she usually does.”

Leehan is quiet, still trying to process the information Sungho just dumped on him and still staring at his ceiling. Sungho sighs and breaks the silence.

“You’re going to Busan right?”

“Yeah?” Leehan replies, more of a question and not a reply, “Not for another few weeks during study break. Why?”

“Let her take care of your Corydoras or something while you’re gone. Like house sitting.”

Leehan gets annoyed at Sungho a lot, but nothing gets him more annoyed at than when Sungho actually makes sense.

Sungho continues, “I was gonna tell you to confess to her but you can’t really do that if you’re on the other side of the country.”

Leehan slides down his chair, “I hate to say it but I think you might be getting somewhere with this.”

Leehan hears Sungho laugh. “Well, if she wonders why you asked her to take care of your fish and not us instead, just be honest.”

——

Honest.

The word reverberates in Leehan’s head throughout the current ordeal. It was reverberating all of last night when he was trying to fall asleep, the events at the beach were replaying in his mind. And it was the first time in his life he was at the beach and wasn't just thinking of the sea and swimming in it.

“Honest… trust.” he thinks.

You were both sitting on Leehan’s dining chairs that he pulled over from his small dining table to sit in front of the fish tank, showing you how he takes care of them.

“I’ll show you how I feed them, then you can try for yourself.” Leehan says as he stands and carefully opens the lid of the glass tank. He then opens the neatly organised drawer and pulls out a container of bottom feeder flakes.

“Just take a bit,” he demonstrates as he pinches a bit between his thumb and his index finger, “and you need to submerge it in the water so it sinks properly and so they don’t need to exert too much effort to swim to the surface.”

The fish food that Leehan releases into the water sinks slowly to the bottom to where the corydoras were all huddled. You watch as few of the fish start to eat and prod at the flakes.

Leehan passes the fish food in your direction to encourage you to give it a try as you stood from the chair. You take a pinch the same way Leehan did and you hesitantly let your hand hover over the water. Leehan seems to have read your hesitation and lightly grabs your wrist that was over the tank. You feel like you forgot how to breathe, yet your heart rate skyrockets and you feel your legs are wanting to give way.

Through it all, he doesn’t seem to notice any of this while gently lowers your hand until the flakes have been submerged, and you release the flakes between your fingertips. You see the fish curiously swim around the flakes like they've never seen it before, honestly you could watch them all day. Distantly, you remember Leehan’s hand that guided your fingers towards the water in the tank so you instinctively look at him, unsure of the blush on your face. But you’re met with the sight of Leehan enamoured with his fish as they ate and effortlessly glided in the tank.

He seemed to come back to his senses as he gazed at his hand still gently holding your wrist above the water. He gently lets go and clears his throat, hoping that his hair was long enough to cover his very red ears.

“Sorry I— wait here.” He manages to stutter out as he steps in long strides to his kitchen to grab a tea towel. He comes back with a tea towel adorned with cartoon corals and offers it to you to wipe your hands on, his ears still very visibly red. You mutter a ‘thanks’ and he clears his throat. Who knew a little gesture like that would’ve sent him to a frenzy? It’s silent again for a second as he takes the tea towel from you.

“How long are you away again for?” You ask to ease the awkwardness with a clear of your throat.

“Just three days, gonna visit my family and my nephew.” Leehan seems to reply easily, also trying to calm his blush down, “have you been to Busan before?”

You shake your head. “Well, did you want anything from there while I’m gone?” Leehan asks.

You shrug, “No clue.” Leehan looks like he’s deep in thought so you supply, “You really don’t have to get me anything, Leehan. Just— just come back safely, is all.”

Leehan’s eyes widen for a second before he laughs nervously, suddenly unable to meet your eyes at where you’re both standing.

“Well, I’ll think of something. I need to thank you in some way or another.” Leehan replies. He says it’s a ‘thank you’ gesture for taking care of his fish, but deep down he knows it’s also for his helpless little crush on you.

“Let’s hang out when I come back.” Leehan says to you, eyes holding yours as you couldn’t do anything but look back at him. His eyes trace your face, down to your lips where he doesn’t dare linger.

“I mean it. Just us two.” He adds.

You were taken aback, you almost laugh. There was no way he’s asking this right now. Right?

“Sure. If you’d like to,” you say with a dryness in your mouth. God, when did it get so warm?, “now you really gotta promise to come back safely.”

——

It’s Monday night, and Leehan had already left for Busan in the morning. You run some errands in the afternoon before coming back home, all with perfect timing so you could look after Leehan’s fish after lounging on your couch.

You make your way to Leehan’s apartment with his spare key, attached to it is a cute little green alien keychain. You go inside and make your way to the fish tank.

You step closer and open the drawer where all the supplies are kept and you’re met with a piece of paper that was undoubtedly Leehan’s handwriting.

Hi y/n, thank you for taking care of the Corydoras while I’m gone. And don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about your gift

Leehan ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ

You can’t help but smile at the letter he had left. Putting it aside so it doesn’t get damaged, you start the routine Leehan had taught you the night prior. Checking the pH, the water temperature, then opening the tank to feed the Corydoras. You do it with care just like Leehan did, and stare at the fish as they swim around the tank, the slow hum of the filter the only thing that can be heard in the quiet apartment.

You felt happy that Leehan has trusted you with his most precious pets, knowing how much they mean to him. You sigh, not really fully knowing what he meant of ‘hanging out’. Not like you already do it with all your other friends. But he said just you two! ‘He probably just means well!’ you thought ‘to be nice, like an extra thank you. It’s not that bad.’

Before you know it, 30 minutes have passed of you just staring at the tank alone with your thoughts about Leehan, only disturbed by your onset of sudden hunger. You remembered the warmth of his hand over your wrist. You sigh and groan again as you stare at the tank and its colourfulness, then you really start to pay attention to it.

It was colourful, clean and vibrant. Leehan’s care was evident. and to you it was endearing. Who else would take so much care in caring for little creatures. You remember the sparkle in Leehan’s eyes as he looked at his pets after demonstrating to you on how to take care of them. You smile at the memory and your stomach flutters again, and not from hunger.

A sudden knock on the door startles you on the chair you were sitting on in front of the tank before the dread of Leehan’s words could haunt you again.

“Y/n? You in here?” You hear Jaehyun’s voice before the door opens as he lets himself in. He’s greeted with the sight of you in front of Leehan’s tank.

“Myungjae?” You turn around confused, “How’d you know I was here?”. Jaehyun was holding a plastic bag, clearly from food delivery, taking his slides off at the door’s entrance.

“I could ask you the same thing,” He chirps as he makes his way into Leehan’s apartment, “What? Are you missing Leehan already?” He places the delivery bag on the small dining table, smiling at himself, proud of his own little jab. The smile falters when your usual bite doesn’t come his way. He nervously looks at you, still sitting on the chair but your gaze meeting anywhere but his.

“Y/n.” Jaehyun says slowly as you look up at him, “I was just joking! I mean, I guess we all miss Leehan! Even though he… hasn’t even been gone for what? 10 hours? But seriously, who’s counting anyw—“

“Fuck, I think I like him.” You blurt before you could stop yourself. Your eyes immediately widen and you feel your heart plummet to your feet as you realise what you just said out loud. You smack your hand over your mouth as Jaehyun looks at you with mouth equally gaped wide.

The silence was palpitating, even the hum of the filter seemed too loud, and even with Jaehyun in the same room.

“Y/n.” Jaehyun tries again, and you meet his gaze again. But this time Jaehyun doesn’t look as calm as he walked in. His face looked like it was about to explode, like how he usually looked at Woonhak before he would scold him into next year.

“Y/N ARE YOU SERIOUS, YOU’RE ONLY REALISING THIS NOW? GOD YOU BOTH REALLY WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER.”

Just as you read over the text once again, the doorbell rings and you jump in your seat on the sofa. With a sigh, you raise your voice, “Coming!” as you trudge to the door, still in pyjamas.

The door opens and you see the person who sent the text.

“Sungho? You just texted me, you weren’t serious were you?”

The boy scoffs, “Of course I was! When have I ever bullshitted you?”

“You’re horrible, you know that?” says Leehan besi— wait, Leehan?

You straighten up subconsciously with the sight of Leehan, dressed effortlessly in loose baby blue shorts, a white shirt and a long sleeve button down, not to mention a pair of sunglasses on his head. Bags under his eyes weren’t invisible either. Sungho was dressed similarly, except he was wearing a straw hat that would’ve given Luffy a run for his money. 

“The beach? I didn’t think you were serious.” You look back at your phone to see the text Sungho had texted you moments prior. ‘beach day with the gang, be ready in 30’ it read.

“The others ready?” You ask.

“Pretty much. Jaehyun’s getting stuff from the store, told us to meet him downstairs in 30 minutes.” Sungho replied, checking his phone for the time.

“And who’s driving?”

“We can’t fit in one car,” Leehan speaks up, “Jaehyun’s driving, so am I.”

You gulp a little and Sungho probably caught you doing so. You let out a dry ‘okay’ and told the two you’d meet them downstairs after you get your life together for the beach.

—

You step out the elevator, a big calico-lined bag hanging off your arm filled with a bottle sunscreen, a beach towel, a picnic blanket and a bunch of other amenities. Unsurprisingly, the boys except for two (namely Jaehyun and Woonhak) had their smaller totes carried on each one of their arms. A silver hatchback is parked on the verge, which you know belongs to Leehan as you’ve seen him drive on some occasions on weekends.

It had been two weeks since you saw everyone together. It was refreshing, so you decide to savour it for now.

Leehan seems to be the only one to realise you walked out first, so he beams you a smile and approaches you.

“Nice hat.” He says simply, looking at the bucket hat on your head. You feel your insides do a backflip, but keep your composure.

“Nice sunglasses.” you reply equally as playful. Leehan’s arm somehow makes his way to the handle of your big bag.

“Let me take this.” He murmurs, and you oblige despite the way you slightly pull your bag closer to you. Though, your little crush on Leehan absolutely thrives in every little interaction with him. Who were you to refuse such a kind gesture?

A white sedan pulls behind Leehan’s (cuter) hatchback, driven by Jaehyun in his dorky glasses with Woonhak on the passenger’s side.

“Sit on the passenger’s side will you? I heard you tend to get carsick.” Leehan speaks up, looking at you. Your head whips to him.

“You sure? The others won’t mind?” You ask as you walk towards Leehan’s car, Riwoo and Sungho placing their stuff in the trunk of Jaehyun’s sedan while Taesan has already opened the door to the rear of Leehan’s car.

Taesan catches your eye through the window as he settles on his seat, and you pretend to not see his wink as you walk to the passenger’s side. 

The sun was already blaring and Leehan had cranked the AC on blast to deal with the heat. 

“All ready?” Leehan asks and you hum in agreement and Taesan groans behind his sunglasses, looking ready to sleep for the 30-minute journey ahead. Leehan grins as he sees Taesan lulling to sleep even as the car hadn’t started to move.

“There’s another reason why I wanted you at the front,” Leehan says to you as the vehicle starts to move out of the apartment complex, “when I first drove here from Busan, Sungho practically slept the whole way through. Taesan isn’t any better apparently.”

“Well,” you say as you put on your sunglasses, “don’t have to worry about that with me.” Leehan kept his eyes on the road but his eyes were as if he was facing you directly. He smiles.

“I’m glad.” he says, and a comfortable wave of silence falls between you two, save Taesan’s heavy breathing at the back seat. Leehan lessens the AC’s fan, and increases the volume of his playlist, which judging by the last two songs played, he seems to be a fan of Troye Sivan.

“So,” you say as the car drives at a steady pace on the highway, “any reason it’s Taesan in the backseat and not any of the others?” Leehan looks at you briefly before his eyes look forward again.

“Not Jaehyun for obvious reasons, Woonhak can only really be tamed by Jaehyun, Riwoo’s picky with the music, Sungho… moving on,” He laughs to himself as you laugh lightly with him, “Taesan’s the tamest, he’s like a cat. Take him anywhere and he’ll adjust.”

Though what Leehan doesn’t say is that the person he wants to be stuck in a 30-minute drive with the most was you. If anything, he was really willing to take a ‘wrong’ exit so he could keep the Troye Sivan vibes with you in the front seat. But alas, gas is expensive and Jaehyun’s convoy is right behind him, lane changing and all. Leehan decides that being designated driver isn’t all bad.

————

It’s almost 2pm when you all settle at the beach. You and the others set up near the damper part of the sand. There’s a few people on the beach already, you and the others make the noise levels raise a bit.

Just as you entered his car on the way rhere, Leehan carries your bag and his own tote bag all the way down to the sand, despite your attempt to carry your own bag yourself. Regardless, you find yourself flattered (again) at his gesture.

As soon as the others have set up the two picnic blankets, Woonhak speeds towards the water with an equally as playful Jaehyun in tow to chase him. Sungho feels an overwhelming urge to join them as he bolts for the two boys, leaving you, Leehan, Riwoo and Taesan with all their belongings. Riwoo decides ice cream was a good idea, so Taesan offers to tag along. Leehan makes no intent to move and is way more interested in the bag of convenience store snacks Jaehyun had bought earlier.

Riwoo and Taesan scurry away, leaving you and Leehan. You swear you feel the universe and the stars align, though your insides couldn’t say the same as you stay nervous. Leehan hands you a colourful packet.

“Gummies?” he offers. You smile while you take it from him.

“Thanks,” the plastic crinkles in your hand. 

“Have the rest.” Leehan says as he digs through the bag again. The two of you stay doing nothing more than people watching (see: Jaehyun capturing Woonhak in his arms while Sungho splashes Woonhak with the cold ocean). At one point, Leehan plays his playlist from his phone and places it between where you two sit on the blanket. You decide to break the ice.

“You've been okay, Leehan?” He faces you at your question, another snack in hand. Leehan almost looks guilty as your question, and as if on cue, the clouds make the sun shine a little less.

“Is it obvious?” Leehan sheepishly says, playing with the snack in his hand. You feel your insides drop a little. You have the urge to reassure him.

“Well, I’m tired from all my mid-sems too,” You contemplated from the past week, “can’t believe you wouldn’t feel the same. Or worse actually, a new environment and all. It’s been a month since you moved hasn’t it?”

He smiles, a little sadly.

“Mhm, it’s been a month now. Though, if I didn’t have all of us here, I’d definitely have a harder time.” He fiddles almost nervously with the packet of potato chips in his hands. You hum, honestly you couldn’t imagine it, having to move away from a place you lived your whole life. A part of you starts to ache for Leehan. 

“Well, if you ever need anything, I’m a door away. Literally.” you say with a smile to lighten up the darkened mood, and he diverts his eyes away from where he was staring into the sea to look at you. He smiles and you feel nervous again.

“Actually, that does remind me of something.” He runs a hand through his hair and leans back on the picnic blanket. 

“Hm? What is it?” you ask as you pop another gummy in your mouth.

“I’m going to Busan for three days from Monday, and obviously I can’t take the fishes with me so…” he clears his throat trying to waver off his embarrassment, “I was wondering if you could feed and take care of them while I’m away? I know it might be too much so just let me know if it’s t—

“I’d love to!” you blurt out without thinking. It’s like that part of your brain driven purely by how smitten you are with Leehan worked faster than your own thoughts.

“Oh, it’s okay I’ll ju— wait really?” Leehan whips his head to you again with more fervour this time. You blink trying to stay calm. ‘He’s trusting me with his pets?’ you giddily think, then you remember Sungho’s words from when Leehan first moved in.

“Just between you and me, nothing gets in the way of Leehan and his fishes.”

Right. That. You mentally slap yourself, of course. ‘Leehan’s only asking me for convenience sake, the guy loves his fish. Get a grip, y/n.’

“Well— yeah! I’m happy to! I know how much they mean to you. Plus, I’ve had hamsters before. Shouldn’t be that difficult.” you say to try to convince Leehan that you were more than capable of taking care of his precious Corydoras. Leehan snorts at the comparison, 

“It’s settled then. You free tomorrow?” and you nod again, no hesitation.

“Well, come over tomorrow and I’ll show you how to take care of them.” He smiles again and you jokingly salute before looking out into the water again at a very damp Jaehyun and Woonhak with Sungho looking more like a drowned cat than the other two.

“Sounds good.” you reply simply. There’s a beat of silence between you two. You look out in the distance as the sun makes itself known from the clouds again, realising that today really was good weather for the beach, silently thanking Sungho for dragging you out of your house. 

Meanwhile, you don’t notice but Leehan gulps, stealing glances from you almost every second. He liked you. A lot. So much that he would trust you with his most precious pets. And you’ve been kind and sweet and a helpful friend since he’s moved in. Being around you makes him feel so giddy. But then whenever he feels like this, he slaps himself mentally. Because whoever would ever like him back like that? The pit in his stomach turns.

‘Fuck it’ he says in his head. He clears his throat and it catches your attention. 

“Can I tell you something?” Leehan starts. You look at him expectedly,

“Sure, hit me. You can tell me anything.”

‘I don’t even know if you could handle how I truly feel.’ Leehan decides at this moment to push those thoughts away. He needed to do something now, because even a split-second hesitation would cause him to do otherwise. He releases a breath he didn’t even realise he was holding.

“y/n… Actually, I’ve been thinking. You know, I re—

“ICE CREAM IS HERE.” A loud voice from behind him interrupts him abruptly. He sees you turn your head towards Riwoo and Taesan, carrying trays of ice cream. The pit that was already in his stomach turns again, but the fear creeps up from his abdomen to his chest. It gets a bit harder to breathe. Did he just miss his one and only chance?

Meanwhile, Woonhak probably saw his older friends make their way back where you and Leehan were, so he was by Taesan’s side before you could even register. Riwoo hands you a tray with a thank you as the pit in Leehan’s stomach drops again. He was about to—

Taesan takes a seat on the other side of Leehan and hands him a spoon and the ice cream tray, ice cream slowly melting underneath the sun. Taesan waves the spoon when Leehan doesn’t take it immediately.

“Earth to Leehan? You good?” Taesan asks his friend. Leehan wordlessly takes the ice cream and the spoon from Taesan as the pit in his stomach makes him dizzy. He hadn’t told Taesan about his crush on you directly, but for sure with the way Taesan’s been playing matchmaker with Sungho, he knew one way or another.

‘Yeah… yeah I’m fine. Just a bit warm.” Leehan mumbles before he takes a bite of ice cream. Taesan looks, albeit suspiciously, at his best friend before digging through the convenience store bag for bread.

Leehan looks your way again. He sees Jaehyun sitting in the free spot next to you, yapping away again about who knows what. Leehan still wishes he could easily speak like Jaehyun did with you. But alas, he resorts to pining over you from a distance, and he knows Jaehyun can’t help it. 

What Leehan doesn’t see, under the heat of the sun, is a Taesan and a Sungho looking at him sadly. 

_____

As the sun had begun to set, you and the rest started to think of going home. It seems like Woonhak and Jaehyun ran out of their batteries a while ago and were lying down taking up most of his picnic blanket. Leehan was reading his book, lying on his stomach on the blanket you brought, occasionally taking bites of the rapidly disappearing snacks. You were approaching Taesan and Sungho, who were walking by the shore taking pictures of each other on Taesan’s digicam. 

“y/n, come here!” Taesan beckons to you and you walk a little quicker, holding onto your bucket hat as the wind picks up. Sungho takes your arm and drags you next to him to take some photos. The both of you smile at the camera before Taesan suggests some poses, back to the camera, dramatic and all. You were facing the ocean with Sungho when you felt a presence on your other side.

“Y/n face here! Leehan you too!” Taesan calls out with his digicam in hand. Boldly, Leehan turns his head in your direction to face Taesan, and so do you.

“Oi, we’re all friends, get closer together!” Sungho points out to Leehan jokingly, moving his arm that’s around your shoulder to make a point. Leehan blushes internally and hesitantly moves closer to your side until your shoulders are touching and his hand bumped yours.

Taesan does a thumbs up and takes a few pics after a countdown, and you, Leehan and Sungho change poses every few shots, and yet neither you or Leehan move your hands that were occasionally touching. After the group picture, Taesan kneels on the sand and angles the camera towards himself this time, and the three of you go closer. You kneel one knee down towards Taesan to stay in frame, but Leehan almost loses his footing so he uses your shoulder to steady himself. You feel his hand and instinctively grab the hand on your shoulder as you look back.

“You okay?” You ask as he steadies himself on the sand. He huffs out a ‘yes’ and an embarrassed laugh before he poses for the camera once again. Taesan does a countdown, and Sungho gives Taesan a cat ears pose with his index and middle-fingers. Leehan, too, with a sudden drive of confidence, does the same cat ear pose for you who was kneeling in front of him. After that round of photos, Taesan stands and you start to get up from your spot when Leehan offers his hand to help you up from the sand. You smile as you take his hand, and your hand lingers for a second too long before he lets go and you both start to walk towards where the others were.

Soon enough, you were all back into the same cars as the sun was almost fully set. This time, Taesan wasn’t asleep as evident from the little smile Leehan catches from the rear-view mirror.

“What’re you smilin’ at?” Leehan says in a slight Busan accent, catching you off-guard.

“Nothin’ just the pictures.” Taesan replies in the same fashion, and you turn your head to the backseat.

“Since when could you do that?” You ask confused. Taesan looks up from his digicam with a raised eyebrow.

“Do what? Take these pictures for you? A long time actually.” Taesan replies sarcastically as he hands you the digicam. You scroll through the pictures of your candid photos and the ones with Sungho until you get to the ones where Leehan had magically appeared beside you by the shore earlier. Your eyes widen and almost choke on air when you see the pictures, and hand the digicam back to Taesan before you feel your face burn up.

Leehan doesn’t see this (because he’s a good and safe driver).

“Did they turn out good? The photos?” Leehan asks as he changes lanes and squints when he can’t see Jaehyun’s car in the rear view, internally shrugging and trusts that Jaehyun has his GPS on and knows his way back to the apartment.

“Very good! They turned out great.” Taesan drags out the last word, Leehan eyes him in the rear view mirror and feels his best friend’s smirk from the back seat.

“Send ‘em to me later, yeah?” Leehan decides to say instead of questioning Taesan’s tone, and Taesan lets out a grunt of agreement. You recall back to the photos you just saw. You didn’t realise how close Leehan really was to you in the pictures until you saw the selfie, and only then you realised the hand Leehan used to steady himself on your shoulder never left. It was beyond endearing yet so humiliating that you felt butterflies in your stomach from such a small gesture. You wave it off, and hide your face from Leehan by looking out the window until you get back to your apartment.