Mom Plays BG3: Ep.6 - “It’s a Woof.”
It’s been a while! Work/School/Life… yeah.
Anyway! It’s a long one today, boys.
(So a little recap of what’s kinda going on with her character! She’s been going back and forth between the Goblin Camp and the Blighted Village. So, she went and talked to Priestess Gut, but when she tried to kill her in her office an entire fight broke out so she got overwhelmed and reloaded lol. So instead she explored more, killed Minthy, talked to Halsin, and used the Waypoint to get back to the village.)
Shart had mentioned Shar and my mom was like “I don’t have anything against Shar worshippers if that’s what you were afraid of.”
After that she asked me if Shar was evil.
Me: “Well… I mean I guess that kind of depends on how you see her? I guess? She’s like a goddess of pain and darkness.”
Mom: “Well that doesn’t sound good. Why does she follow her?”
Me: “You told her you were cool with it.”
I had been WAITING for her to go to the well and she finally clicked on it.
Sees she gets an advantage as a ranger on a nature check.
Mom: “I’m a ranger! I’ve got this! Oh god please let me got this…”
Me: *starts laughing when she chooses an intelligence check to investigate.*
Mom: “WHAT. My -1 intelligence!?”
PISSES ME OFF BECAUSE SHE TOTALLY ANNIHILATED ALL OF THE FUCKING SPIDERS WHEN IT TOOK ME SO MANY RELOADS THE FIRST TIME. AND NOT ONLY THAT- THE BIG ASS SPIDER DIDN’T EVEN HATCH THE BABY ONES!!
Then Lae’zel wants to talk 🙂
This is where I’m like “okay she’s gonna be like ‘what the hell kinda games are you playing.’”
Lae’zel: “I want to taste you.”
Mom: “Uh… okay.” (Clicks no thanks.)
Queen of gently letting someone down.
Whenever the characters climb onto crates she’s like “PARKOUR!”
Clicked on a body with money.
Mom: “Yayyy! I haven’t seen money in a while.”
She went to the windmill, guys. I was so fucking excited.
Also she keeps using the brain worm even though she doesn’t trust it lol
Went to save Barcus and was looking around the windmill. I made her do a save real quick when I saw her heading to the levers.
LAUNCHES BARCUS INTO THE FUCKING SUN.
Mom: (First, horror. Then, losing her mind) “I guess I wound up teaching him how to fly better than that other guy.”
Goes back to the Goblin Camp and talks to those goblin kids. They tell her to kick the corpse and she cracks up that she has the option to. She kicks the corpse.
Talks to Crusher and tells him he should kiss her feet. She has ZERO charisma btw. And she needs to roll a 15.
Mom: (Weighing her options.)
Me: “You don’t have any rizz.”
Mom: “I know… I GOTTA DO IT!”
Mom: “He didn’t even let me take off my shoes first.”
All of the goblins just like “ew Crusher licked toes!”
She explores some more and kind of makes a circle back to where she started.
Mom: “Oh yeah, I remember this. Yeah, they’re all really mean and they’re drunk.”
She ends up going back inside and killing Gut and those goblins. She picks up the tadpole and has that option to resist it and does resist it because she still doesn’t trust the Dream Visitor.
Astarion tells her that he would be more than happy to take it off her hands.
Mom: (turns to me, whispering like he can hear her) “You know I actually wouldn’t mind if he took it.”
IT HAPPENED. ASTARION TRIED TO BITE HER IN HER SLEEP.
Mom: *Laughing like crazy. Chooses the options that are like ‘why did you lie to me, I can’t believe it. Ultimately lets him drink from her. Stops him after the first round.*
Astarion: (FERAL) “That was amazing… [blah blah blah] I thought you might turn up with torches and pitchforks… though it looks like there might still be time.”
Shadowheart: “So he’s a vampire? I should have known judging from his pallor.”
Mom: “Did you not see his fangs this whole time?”
Goes to talk to Astarion after.
Mom: “Tell me about your history.”
Astarion: “Why do you insist on exhuming the past!?”
Mom: “Hey. Take it easy.”
After leaving camp, Shart has something to say.
Shart: “There’s… something that I would like to share with you…”
Mom: “What’s with all these secrets?!”
Shart: “I want to show you something.”
Mom: “I don’t like using the parasite.” (Still let’s Sharty bae into her brain.)
It’s the memory of Shart in the woods and she sees a wolf. We had just finished watching New Girl.
Mom: “Her hair… was this her in her anime phase?”
She goes back to the Goblin Camp to take out Dror Ragzlin. She got a little stressed out during that fight lol.
Mom: (clicks on Gale’s quaterstaff) “Will this DO anything?? I don’t know, this guy’s pretty weak.”
Mom: “HOW DO YOU MISS! YOU’RE SO CLOSE!”
Me: “I mean… it tells you when you’re too close-“
Mom: “But why do I have a disadvantage? I CAN SEE HIM.”
Mom: “Get away from him!”
Me: “Yeah! Get away from her boyfriend!”
She beat all of them and then went to the prison to talk to Halsin. She passes by a rat.
Mom: “A rat! Astarion, your friend!”
All in all was a pretty good chunk of playtime. For one of the play throughs we didn’t even set a timer and played til like midnight. She comes over and she’s like “are we gonna play tonight :D” and bought hot Cheetos because, and I quote, “we’re gamers.”
Oh, also she met Auntie Ethel, idr if I mentioned that before, but she hasn’t gone to save Mayrina yet. She started that quest but after Ethel went into her little cave my mom went straight back to the Goblin camp. Her reaction to Ethel’s real form was “ew.”