mandy ✩

chan isn't someone that goes to bed early, nor is he someone that values his sleep as much as jeonghan or jihoon. but christ, he's just trying to sleep!

after a few minutes of contemplating his decisions, he decides to climb out of bed and confront the noises in the living room. logically, the noises might very well be from a burglar, but he's too tired to comprehend the dangers that threat should bring along. with narrowed, bleary eyes, he rolls out of bed and slides on his slippers, angrily shuffling out into the hallway.

once he steps into the hallway, he's greeted by a dim light illuminating the living room, followed with faint screams from the television. he wonders who could possibly be up during this time, but is more concerned with who turned up the television.

as he rounds the corner, he sees you perched on the couch, intently watching a horror movie in front of you. you seem too absorbed with the movie to notice chan visibly relax, slinking towards you before flopping down on the couch. "what are you doing here? it's late," he observes, pointing his chin at the alarm clock that reads 2:30 am.

you finally tear your eyes away from the screen, unfazed by the gory scene unfolding before you. "oh, hi there," you quietly greet, subconsciously scooting over and leaning into his arms. "did i wake you? sorry."

his anger is quick to dissipate, especially as he subconsciously brings you closer. "your movie was a little loud, but it's fine. everyone else seems to be asleep." he purposefully angels his head so he doesn't see the movie. "what are you doing still up?"

"i couldn't sleep."

"if you couldn't sleep, why would you watch something that would keep you awake? or, like, give you nightmares," chan asks. his eyes never leave your face, but you're sure it has more to do with the movie before you than his adoration of your beauty. "you should be sleeping. preferably in a bed with me, and we're cuddling or kissing."

you laugh, rolling your eyes. "why, is this movie scaring you?" you emphasize scaring with wild hand gestures and a mocking lilt, to which chan scowls at. "a horror movie fanatic and a coward dating each other. talk about opposites."

he sticks out his tongue, scowling. "would you just shut up and kiss me already?"

you mimic him but lean in anyways, pressing a kiss against his lips. he's still maintaining a bratty facade, but he looks more pleased. he looks like he's ready for more, but you deliberately turn your head and refocus on the movie, where the main protagonists are running for their lives now. "we can do whatever you want after i finish this."

reading the duration of the movie, chan looks exasperated to see that the movie isn't even halfway done. "but why? this movie isn't even good," he whines. "we could be doing better things. like sleeping."

you roll your eyes, tugging the blanket so it covers both of your legs. "i was already here doing my thing. don't go trying to drag me away now." you turn to poke his nose, eliciting a disgruntled noise from him. "and you're just saying that because you're scared."

"any normal person would be! it's a horror movie for god's sake!" he exclaims.

bringing a finger to his lips, you narrow your eyes. "shhh. the others are sleeping."

chan sighs, throwing his hands up in defeat. sulking, he defeatedly lays his head on your shoulder, his pout deepening when you don't even pay attention to him. "we should be, too."

a sulky chan isn't good for anyone, so you reluctantly sigh, glancing his way. "we can cuddle during the movie if you want. a compromise, if you will."

"yuta."

no response.

"nakamoto yuta."

again, no response.

you sigh into the crook of your boyfriend's neck, and he shifts at the ticklish sensation. "i know you're awake."

"am not," he mumbles, to which you roll your eyes at. "i'm still very much asleep."

you can't help but laugh, attempting to pry yourself out of his grip. "right. so if i try to leave, you won't do anything because you're still sleeping."

he turns his head towards you, narrowing his eyes at you in a bleary daze. you respond by sticking out your tongue, still wiggling in his grasp. "why do you want to leave? it's so warm."

"because i can't spend the whole day doing nothing. i have to do something with my life."

yuta hums, but you can tell he isn't really listening. "you don't have to. let's just stay in bed, have a day off. i know you want to~"

the offer is tempting, simply because the warmth of your boyfriend and of the bed are slowly lulling you back to sleep. "maybe you're the reason why i develop all of my bad habits," you murmur, relinquishing your attempt of leaving. "shouldn't you be pushing me to be productive?"

once you've resisted your wriggling, he slyly grins, pressing an appreciative kiss on the crown of your head. "they're not bad habits. it's called living with no worries," he corrects. "besides, who was the one that kept on insisting on watching all of those true crime documentaries last night? just one more episode," he mocks.

"you enjoyed watching them, too!" you exclaim, exasperated. "next time i'll just binge them with someone else, then. i'm sure doyoung or renjun would be more than happy to watch with me."

"you say this, but i'm always your first choice," yuta responds. when you narrow your eyes at him but don't refute, he grins. "see? you love me."

"i don't know why i do, considering how you enjoy my suffering, you... scorpio."

this time he cackles, throwing his head back. "are we seriously bullying each other based on our star signs now? you've really hit rock bottom, my dear."

groaning, you roll away from him, squishing your face against a pillow. "i can never win with you, can i?"

yuta rolls towards you, his smile unwavering. "nope~ you'll be stuck with me for the rest of your life. i'm going to marry you one day, anyways."

at his bold comment, you arch your back, lifting your face off the pillow. the look of surprise on your face just makes him laugh as he stares back at you, radiating his usual confident aura. "why are you so surprised, sweet pea? i've made it quite clear how much i love you, haven't i? i have every intention of putting a ring on your finger."

you aren't sure whether to feel embarrassed or shocked at his bluntness. you don't get the chance to, anyways, because suddenly you fall off the bed, crashing onto the floor with a resonating thump. your hands cover your face in embarrassment, partly because of your reaction and because his words still haven't left your mind.

from the bed, yuta peers over, his smug smirk quickly contorting to a look of concern. "holy shit, are you okay?" he asks, climbing down and scooping you back onto the bed.

your hands never leave your face, because you're sure you would just melt if you two made eye contact. he doesn't seem to notice, instead too busy examining you and asking questions regarding your well being. sure, there's a slight ache in your back, but the embarrassment of your fall and from yuta's boldness overwhelms it.

after a few seconds, you part your fingers, eyes timidly peeking out from behind them. "i'm fine. can we please go back to bed and pretend nothing happened?" you squeak, face warm.

he looks ready to protest, eyebrows furrowed in concern. but after processing your appearance, he breathes a sigh of relief, even laughing. "god, you're so clumsy, (name). i didn't think you'd literally fall off the bed," he laughs.

groaning, you chuck a pillow in his face. "yuta! what the fuck did i just say!"

"i'm your boyfriend, (name). did you expect me to not tease you?"

even though seungcheol tends to flirt with carats, he is nowhere near the confident flirt he tries to make himself to be.

"stop laughing at me!" he whines, sprawling himself over your lap like a cat. "this is bullying."

despite his whining, you still laugh, even cackling as you shake your head. you had simply complimented him on his appearance after seeing a recent pictorial that he had shot. but apparently it had caught him off guard, because seungcheol, who had been scouring your cupboard for snacks, had lifted his head in surprise so fast he bumped it against the cabinet.

it isn't anything new, of course. you've dated him long enough to recognize his inability to accept compliments. it doesn't make it any less funnier, though.

"when you react like that, what else do you expect me to do?"

he shoots you an exasperated look. "maybe check to see how i was doing rather than laughing at my agony?!" he exclaims as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

you roll your eyes, but move your hands to caress the spot he had hit. he's still sulking, but you can see him closing his eyes in approval. "you chose to date me, the very person who laughs at everyone's suffering. so who's at fault now?"

he harrumphs, but doesn't have a proper counterargument to refute your claims. you do tend to laugh during inappropriate times. it's a bad habit of yours, but is apparently one that had him falling head over heels for you.

once his whining has died down, you divert your attention back to your phone while caressing his hair. you don't notice that seungcheol has stopped sulking, instead admiring you as you scroll through your tiktok feed.

his beauty may be out for the world to see, but there's something special about the way he gets all of your handsome glory for himself.

"i really want to kiss you right now," he blurts, eyes never leaving your face.

the words are out of his mouth before he can think them through, and he pales upon seeing surprise color your face. you look away from your phone and down at him, who's trying his best to suppress his embarrassment.

that is, until you laugh, loud and clear. "really brave of you to say that, for someone who hit his head against the cupboards because he couldn't take a compliment."

this was the teasing he had expected, but it doesn't make him any less sulky. "i knew you were going to tease me!" he exclaims.

"sorry sorry~" you apologize, but both of you know you don't actually mean it. "but if you want to kiss me, then do it." your tone and smirk are taunting, as if you expect him to cower away in embarrassment.

god, what he would do to wipe that smug smirk off your face! how can you be so nonchalant during moments like this? it pisses him off!

but choi seungcheol is a competitive man before anything, so with a pout, he fists the collar of your shirt and yanks your upper body down, crashing your lips together.

when you both disconnect, he smirks upon seeing yours vanish in the blink of an eye, sitting up and scooting onto an empty spot on the couch. you're staring back at him, eyes wide as you slowly sit up.

"seungcheol, one, (name), zero."

a metaphorical flame ignites in your eyes, and you narrow your eyes at him, folding your arms. it doesn't stop him from gleefully grinning though, especially seeing a pout form at your lips. "call it even," you correct. "i'll get back at you next time."

"i'd like to see you try."

"say, (name)-ssi, what do you say about being my gym buddy? we can exercise together," chimes yoon taeho one thursday afternoon.

you look up from your notebook, unimpressed. despite being your senior, yoon taeho has a notorious reputation for his crude remarks. where his terrible attitude came from, no one knows. you once caught him throwing out all insults imaginable at a boy from your chemistry class, simply because he had accidentally spilled his water on him.

you had marched straight up to the duo, looked taeho in the eyes, and stepped on his toes as hard as you could. that was the first time you two met.

the memory nearly makes you laugh, especially since he hadn't expected a bystander to step in. but even when you've gotten on his bad side, he still pesters you through an overly sweet facade, like now.

before you can ask why, he scans your sitting frame, making sure you see the way he winces. "i've been noticing that you've been putting on some weight lately! it's not healthy, you know," he innocently explains.

your eye twitches.

you aren't unfamiliar with mean comments like his. although they aren't so excessive that you're being thrown into a garbage bin, the malice is obvious in their words no matter how subtle they try to be. mirroring his smile, you set your pencil down and lean towards him, cupping your cheeks. "say, taeho-ssi, what do you say about being my study buddy? we can study together," you mimic.

he shoots you a quizzical look, but you don't give him the chance to ask, because you follow up with, "i've been noticing that you've been slacking in all of your classes! it's not good for your gpa, considering how you always brag about your plans to enroll in prestigious universities."

his jaw drops in shock before quickly contorting to one of offense. but your smile is unwavering as you continue, "i know it's hard, especially with your microscopic brain cells, horrible work ethic, horrendous personality... oh, i'm rambling aren't i? but despite all of your flaws - your many, many flaws - i know you can still do it!"

by the time you lean back in your seat, smile still intact, his face is red with fury. from your peripheral vision, you see your friends seungkwan and yena standing by the door. gathering your stuff, you shoot taeho one last smile. "for a homophobe, isn't it pretty gay to be checking me out all of the time?" his jaw practically hits the floor now, but all you do is throw up a thumbs up. "gotta run! i have more productive things to do than talking to brain dead assholes."

you approach your friends with a smile. peering over your shoulder, seungkwan shudders in disgust. "is that asshole still bothering you? i swear, he needs to get a life."

waving a dismissive hand, you shrug. "his insults are elementary. i've heard worse."

yena winces. "that's... a little sad."

you exit the classroom, walking into the hallway. you're about to respond with a witty remark when you hear loud laughter from the other end of the hallway. turning your head, you watch as students lined against the walls of the hallway pause to gape at the small group in awe. the group consists of kim mingyu, xu minghao, hansol chwe, and lee chan. the popular jocks, if you will.

chan is laughing at something that mingyu said when he turns and makes eye contact with you. you're both staring at each other from afar, suddenly tuning out of your conversations with your friends.

it isn't until yena playfully slaps your shoulder that you're pulled out of your staring contest. "why'd you stop?" she asks.

before you can answer her question, seungkwan looks over your shoulder, following your line of vision. "ah, are you staring at them over there?" he throws an arm over your shoulder, sighing. luckily he doesn't notice that you've zeroed in on one person in particular. "it's okay, i understand the appeal of unattainable men, too."

yena rolls her eyes, flicking his forehead. "what happened to your monologue about self confidence?"

"have you seen high school musical? you've seen what happens when different cliques intermingle together."

she slaps an exasperated hand against her face. "you and your corny disney movies."

"hey! what do you mean corny disney movies?! i will not let you disrespect sharpay like that!"

as they continue bickering, they pull you away from that end of the hallway and towards the stairwell. even as you're about to head down the steps, your gaze lingers on chan, and you can see his gaze on you, too.

you, seungkwan, and yena have been an inseparable trio since elementary school. all of you have different accounts of how your friendship blossomed, but the one thing all three of you can agree on is that your mutual love for girl groups sealed the deal. you three are so close that there are barely any secrets within your trio.

well, aside from two that you keep from them.

at your school, there are several cliques, but the ones that most of the student body deems as the most popular is the group of jocks that consists of mingyu, minghao, hansol, and chan. it's no surprise, considering how the group is comprised of a mix of visuals and great personalities. almost everyone you talked to has had at least a small crush on one (or all) of them. well, except for yena, but that's because of her crush on their underclassman yuri. they're friendly to everyone they meet, but from what you can tell, they really only have each other.

well, aside from chan. because he has you.

and that's your first secret: your friendship with chan.

you and chan have been classmates and neighbors since elementary school. despite this, you had never talked to him until one day during the seventh grade, when he kicked a soccer ball straight through your bedroom window. to this day, you still don’t know how he kicked it so high up. but oddly enough, the punctured soccer ball and shattered window marked the beginning of a friendship. it's a little hard to hide from your friends, considering how chan spams your phone with memes and texts at any given opportunity, but through sheer luck, your friends are oblivious, only knowing him as your next door neighbor.

your second secret is your relationship with chan.

befriending him is already odd enough. who would've thought you'd be his boyfriend, too?

your relationship with chan isn't like one straight out of a fairy tale, but it's heart-fluttering and comfortable, like any relationship should be. but despite how perfect and amazing it may be, it's something you two have kept under wraps for three years, mostly because you know it isn't one that would be kindly looked upon.

if you're being honest, you never would've thought about befriending him, much less dating him. although he's an absolute dork, you both stand on opposite sides of the social spectrum. while you're the quiet wallflower who, unfortunately, is the target of unwanted teasing, chan is the shining star of the dance team who basks in the limelight. high school can be a harsh time during one's youth, so hanging out with someone outside of your clique would draw for unnecessary attention. or as seungkwan would say, a scene straight out of high school musical.

personally, you think it's ridiculous, being categorized by cliques. but you're already ostracized for simply being a wallflower and looking different. you wouldn't want chan to undergo similar pain, either.

when chan had texted you, suggesting you two have your next date at a amusement park he had tickets for on the weekend, you were both nervous and excited. amusement parks always bring out the child in you as you hop onto all of the rides possible, radiating with joy. but you were also nervous about the location, since it's a hot spot among your classmates. still, chan had reasoned that weekends were always crowded, so the chance of being seen were fairly slim. so eventually you had accepted, and now here you two are.

the rides on the park leave you two breathless, but whereas you're breathless from excitement, chan's breathless from fear. with his low tolerance in mind, you decide to take a break, sitting on a park bench as you sip on sodas and munch on churros. so far, your date had been going quite smoothly. you're planning what to do next when chan pipes up, breaking the silence.

"are you ashamed of me?"

chan's comment is short but unanticipated, and sounds many alarms in your head. you frown, shifting yourself to face him. "of course not, why would you say that? did i do something to indicate that?"

he shrugs, but you can tell he's bothered by the implications his statement comes with. "it's not that, it's just... why don't you want our relationship to be known?" he asks.

come to think of it, of the three years since you've been dating, chan never once asked why you were so keen on keeping your relationship a secret. before you can open your mouth, he explains, "i've been thinking about this for a while now, but i don't want to hide anymore. especially since i have to hide my wonderful boyfriend from the boys and put up with them trying to set me up on blind dates. i was wondering, were you hiding it because you were ashamed of me?"

your eyes widen as you scramble to explain. "that's not it, i promise."

"then why? it's been three years, (name), and you haven't told me anything."

you can hear the dissatisfaction in his voice, and it does nothing to calm the nervous beating of your heart. the appeal your food had suddenly vanishes, only making you feel queasy. "can we not do this here? please?" you ask, voice laced with desperation. while this is a conversation you'd like to avoid altogether, you'd rather do it somewhere secluded, as opposed to a public spot like here.

"then when? when can we be talk about this?" he asks, voice tense. he no longer looks like he's enjoying himself, all giddiness from the amusement park gone.

you sigh, shaking your head. since neither of you seem to be in the mood to go back and enjoy yourselves, you explain, "i'd rather not talk about our relationship so openly. if we're going to talk, we do it at my place."

he doesn't oppose, instead silently trailing after you as you head to your house.

thankfully your parents are out for work, so you two have the entire house to yourselves. once you've shut the door behind you, you turn to face chan, whose arms are defensively crossed over his chest. he's silently awaiting your response, which only makes the hairs on your arms stand. chan is never this quiet unless he's frustrated.

you sigh, taking a few deep breaths to collect your thoughts. "i'm scared." he raises an eyebrow and looks like he's going to interrupt, but you continue, "what will others think? i'm not exactly what people picture when they think of your ideal type."

"who cares what others think? as long as we're both happy, that's all that matters."

you laugh, dry and sarcastic. "that's easy for you to say. you've been showered with praise all your life, and everyone loves you. you can say and do what you want and come out unscathed, but me? they'll bat your eyes at you, all pretty and polite, but the moment i'm alone, i'll just get more shit than i already do."

you had made it a point to not tell chan about the bullying in fear of worrying him, but now that you're revealing your reasons as to why you two shouldn't go public, there's no reason to hide it anymore. his eyes widen in shock before contorting to one of betrayal. "you-"

"you're the shining star of the dance team, the boy that everyone just adores. i'm this antisocial introvert who only has two friends, and i'm built like a snickers bar. even in private, i question if i'm good enough for you. but if we put things out in the open, i know for sure that i'm not the only one who's going to criticize my self worth."

he looks upset, but you're not sure if it's because of your differing views or your sudden revelation. "if people have been bullying you, why didn't you tell me? i could've at least helped ease the pain."

you think about people like yoon taeho, who would criticize just about anyone, even if it's someone like chan. people like him are brain dead assholes, so his words rarely upset you. but you know that once things are out in the open, people like him will increase. "it's one thing, dealing with it by myself. but i'm not going to let you get dragged into my problems."

"you're not dragging me to any problems. none of this is even your fault. i'm your boyfriend, (name). what kind would i be if i just let people push you around without doing anything?"

no one wants to date someone who simply looks the other way when they're in trouble, but you'd rather shoulder all of your pain than share it with chan. "the thing is, it's easy like this, to pretend we don't know each other. but- to go public!" you laugh in disbelief, but he doesn't reciprocate the motion. "this is going to affect us both, channie. people are ruthless. i don't-" you bite your lip in frustration. "i don't want to dim your light."

"why do you get to dictate how i'll feel? i just want to hold your hand and kiss you in public, and go on dates without worrying about our classmates and gush about you to the guys. what's wrong with that?"

you feel like pulling your hair out of frustration. "can you not try to understand my point of view? do you think the little shits at school are simply going to accept that the school icon is dating..." you pause, all of the insults you've heard in your life suddenly echoing inside your brain. "someone like me?"

"there's nothing wrong with you, (name). you're so much than what others think. as long as i like you, who cares? why don't you get that?"

"you don't understand, channie," you begin. you don't realize that you've gotten emotional until you hear your voice waver, but your eyes remain firm. "i tell myself that i don't care, but in reality i care so much. it's so dumb, seeking validation, but what can i do? it's hard enough, living in this body. you've been there for me whenever i've had my episodes where i wanted nothing more than to crawl out of my skin. i'm not a model with a sculpted six-pack like the guys at our school, nor am i this soft, wholesome boy that people adore. i'm reminded of this enough, being at school. it's not that i listen to the shit that the mindless assholes at school say, but years of going through this... it piles up."

his eyes that were flaring with frustration have softened after hearing you speak, and he no longer looks tense. "(name)..."

he takes a step towards you, but you instinctively take one back. "i act like it doesn't affect me, because i'd rather pretend to be confident than conform to the likes of the bullies at our school. i at least have an ounce of respect for myself. but when it comes to you... i'm myself in my purest form when i'm with you - well, and with seungkwan and yena. i have a lot of insecurities, but they're all gone when i'm with you, even for a moment. but i'm terrified that if people find out, this comfort that i have will disappear, and suddenly i'll have all of these eyes analyzing my move, wondering if i'm good enough for you. because everyone only wants the best for you, the school icon. i'll admit it, i question my worth sometimes, too. but to also have a bunch of outsiders question it... it fucks with your head."

by the time you finish your tangent, you can hear your blood pumping in your ears and eyes pricking with tears. chan is stunned into silence, and judging from the way his eyes widen, you guess that he sees your glassy eyes. "i don't even want myself sometimes. why would you ever want me?"

although his expression has softened, he approaches you with a newfound urgency, as if he's afraid he'll lose you if he doesn't do something. his fingers ghost your shoulders as he implicitly asks to touch you, but from the way you move to the couch and curl in yourself, he opts to sit beside you instead. you stare at your knees with blurry eyes, willing the tears to go away. but the moment you start sniffling, aggressively wiping your tears away, you know it's no use. "i'm not going to say i understand, because as much as i try to empathize with you, i'll never truly get how you feel. but i'll try my best, okay? i'm always here for you, you know that."

"i know," you mumble, voice muffled.

"but you don't," he softly says, "because if you did, you wouldn't be fussing about if you're good enough for me or not. and i know my words alone won't help you understand just how much you mean to me, but (name) (last name), you're the only one i want. i fell for all of you, not just one part." he gently places an arm on your back, and breathes a sigh of relief when you melt into his touch. "i'll admit, i should've tried to be more understanding, and i'm sorry for that."

in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere, you snort, wetly chuckling. "wow, what's this? this is the first time i've heard you apologize."

although you can't quite see his face, you can tell he's rolling his eyes. "you make me sound so bad. i own up to my mistakes."

"since when?"

"since now."

you can't help but laugh, tilting your head to look at him. there are tear stains and loose strands of hair on your face, and you can only imagine how gross you may look. but chan looks at you like you hold the world, eyes shimmering as he leans in to thumb away the tears. "my handsome, amazing boyfriend," he coos. "you deserve the whole world, and it's so saddening to hear about what you've gone through. but you're so, so strong. i'm so proud of you, and i love you no matter what. you are so much better than your insecurities and the hoard of idiots at our school. i'll tell you that every day until you believe it, too."

he scoots closer, raising an implicit eyebrow as he tentatively wraps an arm around you. when you nod, he brings you close, pressing the side of his head against yours. as much as the small voice in your head tells you that you don't deserve his warm touches, chan clings onto you as if he never wants to let go. his grounding presence is enough to quiet the voice, even if it's for a short while. "it's not like i want to hide forever. but... i'm not ready now. maybe when i'm more confident, we can try." you timidly loop your pinkies together, keeping him close. "i'm sorry, channie. if you had someone else, maybe you wouldn't have to worry-"

"hey," he interrupts, frowning. "what did i say earlier? i told you, you're the only one i want. and your worries have reason to them, so i understand. i'll wait until you're ready."

"...you're a pretty impatient person, channie. can you even withstand waiting without knowing when i'll be ready?" you ask, voice quiet.

"i'll wait for you," he simply repeats. "until you're happy and see just how beautiful you are, we can just keep things simple. we don't need to go big on pda." he pauses as if to collect his thoughts. "but... there's one thing i'd like to do. we don't have to do it if you're not comfortable, though."

"what is it?" you ask.

chan smiles, sheepish. "i want to tell my hyungs about us, if that's okay. i've known them since we were kids, and it doesn't feel right for me to lie about someone so important to me. they won't judge, but i just wanted to ask you in case you don't want me to."

his words make you think of seungkwan and yena, as well as the guilt that comes with lying to them. they tell you all of their secrets, no matter how dark or embarrassing, because they trust you. and it's not that you don't trust them - you would trust them with your life, even if they're a reckless bunch - but when you had started dating, you both had kept it a secret from everyone, even those as important to you as them. you suppose there's no harm in telling them, but...

as if he's read your mind, he squeezes your hand. "i know my friends won't judge, just like you know yours won't, either. but it's okay if you aren't ready now. i just thought i'd let you know."

after pondering his words for a few minutes, you shake your head with a small smile. "it's not that. i agree with you. you can tell them, i think they deserve that much, anyways. i think i'll just need more time before i tell seungkwan and yena, though."

he nods with a smile. "of course. anything for you."

you both stay close together for a while, reveling in the bliss of sorting out your feelings. although there are still many things about your relationship to discuss, you're glad he is open-minded about how you feel, and you make a note to do the same, too.

chan is the first to break the silence, flopping onto the couch. "all of this talking has made me tired. let's cuddle."

being in his embrace sounds wonderful and cozy, and you want nothing more than to do that. yet despite having been reassured by him, you still feel hesitant. seeing the subconscious frown on your lips, he opens his arms, gesturing you to come over. "are you just going to leave me hanging? come here, i'll even give you my hoodie," he innocently convinces.

this sly fox. chan always knows how much you like wearing his clothes; how dare he use it to his advantage! you glare at him, but it's void of its usual malice. "you can't do that. that's cheating."

"then come here~ i need my hugs from my warm, lovely boyfriend~"

you roll your eyes but comply anyways, laying down to slot yourself in his arms. despite how different you two are, chan feels like home, your solace when times get tough. no matter how many times you think about it, you always wonder how you got so lucky.

"i love you. i wonder how i got so lucky," he hums, thoughts matching yours.

perhaps it's because of how much energy you exerted at the amusement park, or how draining the insecurities and crying has made you. whatever the reason, you feel yourself grow groggy, falling into his embrace. "love you, too. thank you for staying by my side."