Day 348
From day one I had the suspicion of many things that would detonate as time went by, I was not wrong, more things happened than I expected, from seeing as the pieces of a "family" that after the death of the Great Mother, he was separating more and more, only the Elder remains, but his attitude corrodes any will No one wants to deal with someone who just lives disparaging you.
348 days are said so easy, so fast, so meaningless... But do you really have any idea how much weight those words have? probably not, deep down we all have ignorance, which makes them doubt by ignoring something, well they are said to fear because they do not know and hate what they fear... To be honest, by now I feel tired, depressed, disappointed, frustrated, not because I can't get out, but because every day that passes, I feel more oblivious to this world, to this place, I hardly recognize things, I locked myself not out of fear, but for avoiding shedding blood in vain, in opening more the wound, wound that since 2013 continues to bleed , a wound that heals but reopens and is getting worse, I use a "mask" so that no one knows my burden, so that they can not see that it hurts to deal, well they say that you have to suffer in silence, every day is more monotonous, even video games are no longer full as before, everything is doubts and books that accumulate, inclusive I have lost the ability to take a pencil and draw something on the paper, domir is no longer an option, fall asleep at 3 in the morning and wake up before 9 because you have to be in the boring class... I don't even want to continue studying, after all, I'll leave this world soon, the day is coming and for a long time I thought things over, I feel like it's the only way out of all this, who wants to be in a world where you don't feel comfortable anymore? Why stay in a place I don't belong? from a young age I had my doubts about it, now if I am very sure, as well as many before I did, others after that I will, perhaps because of the weak, because I have no choice or because like me, they do not belong to this world, you cannot force a flower to grow on a stone...
For you who wonder what has become of me, I leave you these words, if you have time and you read this, I thank you, I want you to know that if I knew you I had a good time and we live good things, we laugh a lot and we travel in many ways, to you that we do not, but if we agree in letters, thank you for being, for thinking about me and making a space in your life , but for now I will no longer write, my lyrics will not fly and you will only see my ephemeral notes of how the days pass and as the last sigh comes to me...I don't do this for tormenting or blaming, it's just that sometimes it's better to leave something written, in case someone wonders, the 31 or they won't come and at last, there will be no more birthdays... I just hope that things don't fail and I can finally go back to my world, to the place where I belong, or at least a place where I can see my grandmother again, listen to the wind and her voice, time runs because that's how we force it, this crazy chapter of a killer virus will end, I know, but that's something I won't see, live well, don't hate and remember, today is what counts, tomorrow it still doesn't come and yesterday, it's gone.
Sincerely
R.
