Ren Amami

Imagined

His mind reframes the act not as a path toward happiness, but as a way to eliminate discomfort. He doesn’t think “I will be happy” or “I will finally enjoy life.” Instead, his thoughts are defined by negation: “I wouldn’t have to hope anymore,” “I wouldn’t become miserable,” “I wouldn’t feel sad.”

This shows that Ayato is not reaching for something positive; he is only retreating from what hurts. Happiness is not even imaginable to him in this moment, only the absence of pain is. The repetition of these thoughts feels less like reflection and more like persuasion. Ayato is not describing what he feels, he is describing what he believes he should feel now that the act was done. He repeats ideas as if repetition will make them true. This is the MIND trying to impose order, but the HEART does not cooperate. The relief he feels is described as “strange” not comforting, and the brief sense of loss, though quickly dismissed, proves that he indeed acknowledged something irreplaceable has been destroyed.

His perception of his hands is what gives the monologue its deepest impact. He sees them as “precious” because they represent agency, survival, and escape, yet he also calls them “sinful,” permanently marked by the act he committed. This duality makes Ayato’s experience both self-preserving and self-condemning.

Subaru Sakamaki Headcanons

Written by: Itzrococo

These are all a mix of Fanon and Canon. But I’ll title them at the beginning. Please just know The Fanon is pure false and just a joke I thought wojld be funny but with Canon it’s very Accurate to Subaru both in anime and game.

My research can be VERY WRONG pls know my ass it’s going into full depth and if I’m wrong I very much apologise

No bc I got upset whwn reading some facts about him idk if they true but like… my Shayla. Everyone say “we love you king Subaru.”

🚬 𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 ( 𝐁𝐘 𝐌𝐎𝐈)

🚬 | Lives in oversized hoodies and beat-up sneakers. Owns exactly one leather jacket he refuses to admit looks hot on him.

🚬 | Drinks energy drinks like they’re water, then complains his hands are shaking.

🚬 | Has anger management apps downloaded. Has never opened them.

🚬 | Smashes things accidentally-on-purpose. Walls, phones, furniture. Apologises to the object afterward.

🚬 | Swears he hates social media but doomscrolls at 3am like it’s a job.

🚬 | Replies to texts with “k.” “…” or not at all. In person? Way more expressive.

🚬 | When guest come over he runs to his room and safety locks the door.

🚬 | Would probably own a pet arachnid or a snake

🚬 | likes cuddles ( w Kou;))

🚬 | Only goes out the manor if it’s with either Yui, Shu( so unlikely), Azusa or Kou.

🚬 | He’s been put on the naughty list by Santa but on Mrs. Claus nice

🚬 | Gets so embarrassed if he out on quick snack run ( for more monster or idk whatever he enjoys) and sees people he knows.

🚬 | doesn’t post on Insta but got a few thousand follows ( all thanks to Kou) and only reposts any posts or highlights he’s tagged in.

🚬 | would probably smoke unlikely too vape but most likely not to smoke any nicotine because he’s good

🚬 | Lowkey domestic. Will fix things around the house at 2am because he “couldn’t sleep.”

🚬 | Man hates being praised but when Kou or yui compliments him or thanks him for something he takes it to heart.

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

🕸 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍

🕸| he can be associated with the sin of Wrath

🕸| Subarus personality involves being Volatile, aggressive and quick to anger. He suffers from severe emotional dysregulation and trauma responses. Subaru hates violence yet is constantly pushed into it. He is blunt, honest and incapable of manipulation or deceit. But he also has this deep self loathing in which he believes he is “broken” or “monstrous”

🕸| An Important canon nuance: Subaru’s anger is reactive, not sadistic. He explodes because he doesn’t know how else to survive.

🕸| Trauma & Psychological Canon:

• Witnessed extreme domestic abuse and murder as a child

• Blames himself for his mother Christa’s death

• Suffers from PTSD symptoms: flashbacks, hypervigilance, emotional outbursts

• Frequently dissociates after violent episodes

• Feels unworthy of love, safety, or forgiveness

🕸| Subaru is not “angsty for aesthetics.” He is traumatized in-text, repeatedly.

🕸| Canon Subaru love is:

• Apologizing too much

• Asking for reassurance he doesn’t think he deserves

• Choosing gentleness even when it hurts him

🕸| Canon Traits People Forget

- Subaru is morally aware. He knows right from wrong and suffers because of it.

- He actively resists vampiric cruelty, even when it costs him.

- He is physically strong but emotionally fragile.

- He wants peace, quiet, and safety more than anything.

- He does not enjoy dominance or control.

🕸| Canon Flaws

• Poor emotional regulation

• Violent outbursts under stress

• Self-hatred and avoidance of intimacy

• Tendency to isolate rather than communicate

• Easily manipulated by authority figures

🚬| 𝐅𝐄𝐖 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒:

🚬| Subaru has no friends at school, meaning he's a loner.

🚬| He later becomes friends with Kou in his More Blood Vampire Ending, and starts to get along with him in both Dark Fate and Lost Eden.

🚬| In Vandead Carnival, Subaru Sub Scenario w/ Ayato, Ayato gives Subaru sour food and he doesn't taste anything.

🚬| He is left-handed.

🚬| His foot size is 27 cm.

🚬| He considers Shu his favorite brother.

🚬| He likes Kanato's singing.

🚬| In Chaos Lineage, he is a member of the Violet Family.

🚬| In Vandead Carnival, Subaru stated that he doesn't like kids.

🚬| He likes to play mobile games.

BIG PIECE HERE WE GOOOOOOOO it's not perfect but i have no more energy to work on it so here yall go, EAT my children🍽️😍🙏

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(ik its a lil messy but so is DL so yk i think it fits😛)

Yessss MORE brotherly love‼️

I've already drawn them in modern clothes, so here they are in dresses!

Warming: Nothing is canon, I just overthink what their lives were like before they got married.

Its just a wip though, in order Cordelia, Christa and Beatrix

Cordelia

17y, 166cm, princess, daughter of Demon Lord from makai

She is very sociable, so she enjoys the parties that take place in palaces; she loves to dance. She doesn't understand much about art, but she loves music.

She also really enjoys escaping and wandering in the human world, and especially likes the drinks there. She really liked it when Richter took her for walks at night.

She loves collecting dresses; she's the daughter of a demon lord, right? She doesn't need to pretend to be humble. She has a collection of mostly gold dresses, to contrast with her beautiful purple hair.

She can speak two demonic language, the commom one and vibora clan dialect, and three human languages French, Japanese and Romanian.

Beatrix

19y, 170cm, young lady of the vampire nobility of the human world, daughter of viscounts

Since she was a child, she had a cold personality, she didn't get close to others, she is extremely intelligent and interested in horror stories, her hobby is reading fairy tales, when she reads, she realizes how stupid humans are.

When she reaches adolescence, she still has no interest in socializing; she knows her parents have arranged a marriage for her anyway.

She doesn't get drunk, no matter what drink, no matter how many drinks.

She knows how to speak one demonic language, the common one, and eith human languages Japanese, Romanian, German, Russian, Chinese, Dutch, Greek and Latin.

Christa

18y, 156cm, young lady of vampire noblity of the makai, daughter of counts

She loves art, despite being born in Makai; once she visited the human world, she fell in love with theater and loves watching plays. She loves (only illustrated) romance and adventure books, she finds it beautiful how imaginative humans are.

Very sociable, loves dancing, loves listening to poetry, loves boat trips on lakes. She dreams of having a collection of blades (serch for Damascus steel knife! Its beautiful!). She would love to try more drinks, but they only allow her to drink wine.

From receiving so many flowers from admirers, she ended up learning a little about botany, she also knows basic vampire medicine,