🖤

Pretty Poison was the opening act for Palaye Royale on their U.S. tour. The lead singer, Nessa had been good friends with the three brothers since they met a few years back at a record store. The late-night tours had her becoming closer with Remington. The two singers bonded over song lyrics and vocal techniques. There was a tension brewing between them that the pair couldn’t decipher, was it a friendship or something more?

Throughout all of the late nights they spent together she never told him about her past. The dark thoughts that kept her up at night, the experiences she went through with her ex, all of that stayed locked up inside of her only coming out briefly in songs that she wrote.

Currently, she was watching the brothers perform from backstage, a red solo cup in her hand filled with a liquor a little stronger than how she normally liked it.

Palaye finished their set with the hit song Nervous Breakdown, something Nessa was quite familiar with.

As the boys made their way backstage, Remington grabbed her wrist gently to pull her towards him in a hug, she instinctively ripped her arm away from him and backed up.

His eyes widened and he held his hands up,

“Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” he mumbled, fear in his eyes from upsetting his friend.

She shook her head, black bangs falling in her eyes before speaking,

“It’s okay, Rem. You just spooked me.” A lie that fell from her lips so easily, the truth buried far below the surface.

He nodded, grabbing a drink for himself then asked her if she wanted to go work on music back at the hotel.

She agreed and they walked the short distance back to the hotel, stopping a few times for Remington to take photos with lucky fans who happened to spot him on their journey.

Once in the hotel room, they both had a buzz going on from the alcohol flowing through their veins.

Sitting cross-legged on the plush carpet, he pulled out his notebook intending to get back to work but the alcohol in his system gave him a wave of confidence.

Remington leaned forward capturing Nessa’s lips against his own in a gentle kiss one in which she returned. Taking this as a good sign he deepened the kiss, brushing his tongue against hers gently, yet once again the other singer pulled away.

“Fuck.” He scooted back, hands running through his short split-dyed hair.

“I totally read the moment wrong,” he confessed, feeling guilty and embarrassed.

Nessa sighed feeling like she needed to tell him the truth or at least as much as she could bear to. She really liked him after all.

“It’s not your fault. Sexual things are just really hard for me after my ex.” She looked down while speaking, playing with a loose thread on her fishnet tights.

Remington stayed quiet, letting her continue at her own pace.

“Basically, he fucked me up in a lot of ways and there’s a lot of sexual stuff I can’t even do, like going down on a guy. It’s just hard.”

Her eyes filled with tears as she expected him to get up and leave, it was what every guy had done when she told them. No one wanted to be with a girl that was so broken especially when it came to sex stuff.

“I’m so sorry,” Remington whispered, his heart breaking in his chest. How could any guy treat her badly was the thought racing through his head.

She looked up and met his gaze, feeling strong enough to continue.

“It’s part of the reason why I can’t be vocal during sex. I know guys usually want girls that are loud and speak up in bed, but I just can’t.” She admitted.

Remington held his arms open which she accepted and crawled into his arms, feeling safe within his hold. After a few moments, he whispered,

“You don’t need to feel like you’re not good enough. Everything about you is perfect to me. If we were together I’d never force you to do anything you weren’t comfortable with.”

Her heart filled with a mix of safety and happiness.

She pulled away enough to look up at him her bright green eyes meeting his dark ones, she leaned forward to kiss him this time being the one to deepen it.

As their tongues moved against each other passionately she crawled into his lap.

He pulled away after a moment to check on her,

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked, bringing a hand up to caress her cheek.

She nodded, smiling as she took notice of his swollen lips.

“I think I just needed to tell you that. If we do this, I can’t talk during it. Can we come up with another way to have a safe word?”

“Of course. How about if you want to stop you grab my wrist and if you want me to keep going you pull my hair?” He asked wanting nothing more than to make her comfortable.

Her eyes lit up at the idea and lust swirled inside of her, seeing this side of Remington was so sexy.

“That sounds like a good plan to me. Now shut up and take your clothes off,” she giggled standing up from his lap.

He didn’t have to be told twice and the pair undressed quickly. Fishnet tights and skinny jeans were tossed aside before the light was clicked off.

Remington pulled her into his arms and kissed her passionately before laying her on the bed.

“Remember the safe gestures?” He questioned before moving to kiss her neck.

Letting him know she did and also wanting him to keep doing that, she tugged on his short dyed hair.

He obliged licking and sucking on the soft skin leaving behind a faint pink mark.

He kissed his way down her body, moving his hand up to be close to her so she had easy access to grab his wrist if needed.

Once he made his way between her thighs, he looked up at her in the darkness.

Nessa replied by reaching down and tugging on his hair, urging him to continue.

He made himself busy by sliding his tongue across her wetness, causing her to moan out softly, sure she couldn’t talk but moaning was a different story especially when a sexy singer was doing that, she thought to herself.

She buried her fingers in the soft tendrils of his black and blonde hair, hoping he got the hint to keep going, which he did.

His tongue moved slowly across her clit, teasing the sensitivity of it.

She closed her eyes and lost herself in the sensations as his mouth and tongue worked expertly against her most tender area.

The pleasure built up and she knew she was going to come soon so she tugged at his hair once more to let him know as her moans got louder. She bit down on her lip as she came her legs quivering from the warmth and wetness of the singer’s tongue.

Remington pulled away, licking his lips as he moved back up to check on her, his eyes searching hers in the darkness.

She grinned before leaning forward to kiss him, tasting herself on his lips.

“Are you going to fuck me now?” She whispered, before biting down on his lower lip in a teasing but intimate gesture.

He let out a rough laugh, leaning over to grab a condom, once situated he slid himself into her, both moaning out in pleasure.

Nessa once again threaded her fingers through his hair as his hips moved against hers, the sensation of his large member filling her up with every thrust.

He buried his face against her neck to lick and suck on her flesh as he picked up the pace, fucking her into the hotel mattress.

The two lovers moaned into the darkness as the pleasure blossomed within them.

Remington coming with a low growl, Nessa tightened her grip on the short locks of hair and moaned out as she came, shaking beneath the singer.

Once everything was cleaned up, the duo laid together in bed.

“I’m so happy I gave this a chance.” She whispered into the darkness.

Remington agreed, once again happy that she shared such a vulnerable part of her past with him.

“Me too and don’t think this was a one-night stand either. You’re definitely not getting rid of me now.” He admitted.

Remington wrapped an arm around his longtime girlfriend Abbey and placed a gentle kiss against her cheek. She replied by smiling at him, taking the time to appreciate his features: dark eyes lined in messy black eyeliner, freshly dyed hair, and the way his tattoos spilled across his naked chest. Every day she grew prouder of her man and the rapidly growing success of his band, but as his fame grew so did her insecurities. Abbey was gorgeous with long hair that looked amazing in a braid and glasses that highlighted one of her best features, her eyes. Remington told her every day how stunning she was, constantly complimenting her and showering her in love, yet the compliments fell on deaf ears as Abbey struggled to believe him. 

The truth was her insecurities became magnified once she was thrown into the rockstar world as she (and to her dismay Remington) were often in the presence of absolutely breathtaking women. She wasn’t outwardly a jealous type, never chastising the singer for the occasional glance at a pretty woman, and she never felt anything but happy to see him interacting with fans. 

He knew that she had self-esteem issues and he did his best to reassure her of his love and commitment but truly Remington didn’t know how deep her insecurities were. Sebastian drew his brother away from Abbey, needing him to look at a potential touring schedule for the upcoming summer season, she took this opportunity to excuse herself to the restroom. 

The three brothers shared an apartment in Los Angeles where friends and the boys’ respective partners were always welcome to stay.  The bathroom had a full-length mirror on the back wall where everyone often sat to do their makeup or take selfies to showcase outfits. Abbey plopped down on the plush rug taking in her features through misty eyes -- how come she couldn’t see what everyone else did? 

Removing her glasses, she wiped away her tears while saying out loud things she didn’t like about herself, something she knew was toxic to her self-image yet she couldn’t help herself and often did this a few times a week, always away from others. 

Burying her head in her hands to allow herself to freely cry, she was unaware of the presence in the room until she felt arms wrapping around her small frame. Too ashamed to uncover her face she continued to cry as Remington held her, whispering comforting words into her hair.

“Baby girl, you don’t know how much it breaks my heart to hear you say those things about yourself.” 

He murmured while gently pulling her hands away from her face to get a better look at her in the mirror.

Abbey didn’t say anything at first too ashamed at being caught, all she wanted to do was curl into a ball and pretend this didn’t happen. Instead, she made eye-contact with Remington in the mirror and simply shrugged before speaking. 

“I honestly don’t see an issue with it since it’s how I feel.” 

She whispered softly, small voice barely audible despite the close proximity in which the pair sat. 

Remington did his best to hide his own growing sadness at his girlfriend’s confession. He instantly felt guilty, mind racing with possibilities -- was it his fault? Did he not compliment her enough? Show her enough affection? Was he too distracted by the band to notice these red flags? 

Resting his chin atop her head, he returned the eye contact in the mirror, choosing to list every feature about her which he loved. The more features he listed, the more Abbey’s mood cheered up until she was smiling and laughing at the compliments. Glad to see her mood lifted Remington knew it was just a temporary fix -- a band-aid over a bigger issue. 

He knew that her self-confidence wasn’t going to be fixed just from his opinion of her, this was something she needed to overcome because she needed to realize her worth and beauty not just hear it from others. Once Abbey was in a better mood, Remington gently brought up the idea of therapy, using his own personal experience as a catalyst for the suggestion. He started to go to therapy when he was younger and continued to visit his therapist whenever his schedule permitted. It was something he thought highly of and sensing this, Abbey accepted his suggestion. 

The catalyst for a ruined night came in a round of shots. Emerson poured the amber liquid into hot pink shot glasses that the boys had picked up days prior. Remington wasted no time in downing his, barely flinching at the bitter taste that now coated his tongue. 

“Slow down there, cowboy” 

Sebastian laughed before throwing his own shot back, placing a hand on Remington’s cheetah print covered shoulder.

“We can’t have our lead singer fucked up out of his mind, can we?” 

The eldest brother chided playfully as he took the bottle from Emerson and poured more shots.

As the brothers drank and talked anxiously about their first show of a new tour, Remington’s phone buzzed in his back pocket, taking it out he suppressed an eye-roll at the message filling his screen;

My Love <3: HEY BABY JUST WANT TO WISH U LUCK TONIGHT YOU’LL KILL IT. LOVE U. 

He wasn’t sure what had gotten into him lately, usually, he’d be thrilled at the love and adoration his girlfriend of three years was showing him. She was always cheering him on, listening to his music, and supporting his band in every way she could. Although she was unable to come to most shows due to a fast-paced work schedule she always made a point to let the band of brothers know they had her support. That should’ve been enough to keep Remington happy but recently he had become cold towards his girlfriend and as he put his phone away without responding all thoughts of her disappeared as well. 

Remington headed backstage after the show still high from the performance. The adrenaline from the encouraging crowd and kick-ass concert his band delivered had Remington feeling happier than he had in months. Once in the dressing room, the boys quickly changed out of their sweaty stage attire into more relaxed outfits, and like clockwork, shots were once again being handed out.

Once everyone had a decent buzz going the boys and their crew headed out to a nearby nightclub to celebrate the success of the show. Remington realized halfway to the club that he had forgotten his phone in the dressing room, a fact that didn’t phase him, in fact he was happy to be rid of the constant ringing. 

Once inside the packed club, Remington waved goodbye to his brothers and made his way to the bar.  His buzz had diminished slightly in the car ride and that was a no go for Remington so he ordered a drink, which quickly became two, then three before he headed to the dance floor. 

Packed in a sea of bodies the singer danced to the music, enjoying the happiness that came from the night’s events as well as the alcohol in his system. When a manicured hand grabbed him and pulled him close, he didn’t object, instead, he wrapped his arms around the dark-haired beauty. 

The pair danced together to the techno music blaring overhead, strobe lights illuminating their faces, hands roaming freely over each other’s bodies before the woman leaned in and planted a sloppy kiss to Remington’s lips. 

If there was a moment of panic, a spark of recognition somewhere in the sober part of his mind, Remington ignored it. Instead, he deepened the kiss with the gorgeous stranger, when the pair eventually pulled away from the kiss, they headed to the bar for more drinks. 

When Sebastian came to let Remington know it was time to head to the hotel, the frontman wasted no time in asking this new girl if she’d like to go with him. Much to the dismay of the older (and wiser) brother, she said yes and everyone piled into the van and were chauffeured back to the hotel to continue the party. 

Morning light filtered through the window a sign of a new day, but as Remington opened his eyes the gravity of last night hit him. He was alone in his hotel bed, the white sheets crumpled and covered in streaks of makeup (his or hers, he wasn’t sure). Flashbacks of last night filled his mind and all at once he realized the hickeys on his body were from a stranger, the realization filled him with shame and dread. 

He found his phone which had been placed on his nightstand by one of his brothers or their touring manager (who always cleaned up after the boys’ wild nights) and on it were several unread texts and calls which came in at varying points of the evening. 

[9:13 pm] My Love <3: It should be time for u boys to be on stage! I’ll be stalking twitter for updates and vids love u 

[12:02 am] My Love <3: Watched a ton of vids that are already being posted! Get back to me when u get this my love so proud of u xx 

[3:56 am] My Love <3: Guess your phone died or your out celebrating a great night. Call me when you see this or wake up. I love you. 

[10:20 am] 5 missed calls

[10:27 am] *attached photo* REMINGTON.... FUCK YOU.

The photo on his phone screen displayed the girl from last night under the covers as a passed out Remington slept beside her. The caption didn’t say anything besides a winking emoji and she tagged him and his band’s account. 

Instantly, he was dialing his girlfriend’s number, hands shaking as he paced around the spacious hotel room desperately waiting for an answer.

“Hello?” 

Rose answered, soft voice hoarse from hours of crying. 

“Fuck, I’m so sorry..” 

Remington started to explain, words tumbling out of his mouth faster than he could form them.

“Save it” 

Rose snapped before continuing her voice harder and more assured now than it was just moments ago. 

“I never thought you’d do this even as the band started to gain an audience, I told myself that I had nothing to worry about. All the pretty girls and boys didn’t matter because what we had was strong but it sucks being proven wrong huh?” 

Remington’s sudden surge of tears prevented him from speaking as the pain in his chest grew with each word. The saddest part of it all was that she was right and that ripped him up inside. 

“Rose I-” 

he whispered, voice barely audible even to himself. 

Instead of an answer he was left hearing the sound of the call disconnecting. 

The tour passed by in a daze for Remington and while his brothers desperately wanted him to be more present, they understood. He’d get on stage and sing, forgetting about the pain in his heart for that hour or so, as soon as the curtain closed the ache in his chest was back, a cruel reminder to the life-changing mistake he’d made.

Rose had cut off all contact with her now ex-boyfriend instead choosing to go through Emerson to inform him she was moving out of their shared apartment in LA. 

Each night in his hotel bed, memories of the past three years filtered through his brain until he exhaustingly cried himself to sleep. 

Remington used Emerson’s phone to send a series of texts to Rose to apologize, to accept full responsibility but the only reply he received was instructions to give Emerson his phone back and to leave her alone.

Just as quickly as the tour started it was now coming to a close a few months later. The boys were back in LA for a sold-out show in typical Los Angeles fashion. Remington never stopped trying to get ahold of Rose -- he sent flowers to her new address, letters where he begged for her back, apologizing and pleading for her forgiveness yet he was never awarded a reply. He didn’t blame her at all but that didn’t mean the pain hurt any less, he’d do anything for a second chance. 

Shots of vodka were taken, cheers and high fives were given and the boys hit the stage.  Remington gazed out into the crowd, a see of silhouettes behind bright stage lights.  After a few songs, Remington sat down at the end of the stage, dark boots quietly thumping against the side. 

“Y’know fans like to think we’re perfect” 

he stated which earned a chorus of “I love you’s” as well as cheers from the crowd. 

He smiled before continuing, 

“As much as I love to hear it, it’s not true and sometimes we royally fuck up. I fucked up and these past few months have been hell so I wrote this song.”

The crowd applauded as they watched their favorite singer head to the piano, the spotlight shining on him as he sat down. 

“This song is called Thorns,” 

Remington began to play a hauntingly slow ballad about losing the love of your life and how apart of you is lost as well. 

The pain in my heart is defeating me

Cracking me open for all to see

I’m numb to life, deep inside

Needing you to realize, you’re the better part of me

An illusion of love is what I fear

Taking each step is now unclear

A rose garden in my dreams,

You leaving now in front of me

Take my heart it’s filled with thorns

A rose trapped inside a perfect storm

Throw me to the wolves I’m on my knees

Begging for my rose to please believe

I made a mistake that I can see

Yet this pain without you is deafening

My heart of thorns cuts me deep 

Paralyzing me and making me weak

Please my rose I beg you, have sympathy.

The rose garden in my dreams,

But you’re leaving right now in front of me

Take my heart it’s filled with thorns

A rose trapped inside a perfect storm

Throw me to the wolves I’m on my knees

Begging my rose to please believe 

I love you Rose it’s all I know, I’m sorry for all my sorrow

By the time the song ended, Remington had tears blurring his vision. He was so wrapped up in playing the song he didn’t realize he had started to cry but to the audience that just made it so much more beautiful. 

After the show, Remington hurried off the stage in order to collect his emotions but in the dressing room sat Rose. Her blonde hair was curled and she wore a red dress and in a true movie moment a dozen roses sat in her lap. 

“Rem that song…” 

she started but before she could finish, Remington ran over and threw his arms around her, hugging her to make sure she wasn’t just a figment of his imagination.

“I’m so sorry”

he whispered once she hugged back. 

“The flowers were from Seb” 

Rose mumbled, green eyes flicking down to them after their hug. Sebastian must have ordered them because he knew what Remington was planning. That was his older brother alright, always playing the papa bear role. 

The singer’s mind was racing a mile a minute, he had a million questions but all he could do was apologize. 

Rose shushed him with a chaste kiss before speaking,

“By no means have I forgiven you completely. That song however beautiful doesn’t make everything go away but I’m willing to work on us”

Remington nodded, happy she was here and willing to give their relationship another shot.

“I’m willing to do whatever it takes,” 

he whispered, wrapping her in another hug.

They knew it would be a long road to get back to where they were before but Remington was happy he had his Rose back in his life. 

xx